| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:49:28 AM | | I dress for myself, but if I have the choice between two equally comfortable and nice things and one is more appealing to the opposite sex, which one do you think I will choose? | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:55:07 AM | Poster, you are starting some great threads!
I dress for myself now cause I'm single....
In the past, I dressed for self...but always with the man in mind too...when going out fancy, I made sure I dressed classy but out shone everyone(feeling it makes it so!)...and having the right hair style doesn't hurt either!! | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:24:22 AM |
Sounds like men just want to feel like they have something to do with what women do in their daily lives
No, I don't really think that is what the OP means at all. Seriously men don't care. You ever tried on a bunch of outfits while your bf sat on the couch bored stiff? You ever dragged a man shopping?
We already figured it out. Looking good means looking attractive. And that only means looking attractive to the other gender.
So ok, women don't dress for any one man, or men in particular. Nobody said you did. But you still dress a certain way because it is generally considered attractive.
Why is that so hard to admit? Is that threatening to a woman's power? | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:37:02 AM |
No, I don't really think that is what the OP means at all. Seriously men don't care. You ever tried on a bunch of outfits while your bf sat on the couch bored stiff? You ever dragged a man shopping?
Sorry, it was the way the question was worded...no, I never tried on outfits for a bf, or dragged him shopping. IF I'm dating someone, and he picks me up which is rare I'm already dressed and ready - if he doesn't come in for a drink or something first, I'm walking out. Most times I meet him where we're going.
And I hate clothes shopping, so I don't even want to go - when I do it's get what I want and get out. The last thing I'd do is drag someone else with me. To me that's something to do separate and apart from someone I'm dating.
We already figured it out. Looking good means looking attractive. And that only means looking attractive to the other gender.
How about for ourselves? If you don't care what we wear because you're just happy we're happy, then why wouldn't we dress to what we like to see ourselves in?
So ok, women don't dress for any one man, or men in particular. Nobody said you did. But you still dress a certain way because it is generally considered attractive.
Yes, to ourselves - it's evidenced by the fact that what I like myself in, my friends won't wear, or don't like on me, or whatever - doesn't matter. We wear what we like ourselves in. If we all dressed by a standard other than our own then we'd all be wearing the same basic outfit.
Why is that so hard to admit? Is that threatening to a woman's power?
Nothing to admit. My original point is if you think this the case regardless of what we say, then why ask? Just live by your view of it and don't waste website space posting a thread. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:39:40 AM |
How about for ourselves? If you don't care what we wear because you're just happy we're happy, then why wouldn't we dress to what we like to see ourselves in?
Because a woman is not going to purposefully make herself look ugly is she?
If you were on a deserted island that happened to have a huge wardrobe and make up counter, or whatever they call it, but you were never going to see another human again, would you still choose outfits and do you hair and make up?
If you say yes, then ok you dress for yourself.
Nothing to admit. My original point is if you think this the case regardless of what we say, then why ask? Just live by your view of it and don't waste website space posting a thread.
Because when a man hears a woman say "I dress for myself" or "I got a boob job for myself", in his head he laughs and thinks "yeah, sure you did".
I just am stating how ridiculous it sounds to a man, when he hears that.
Why do women even feel the need to clarify who they dress for or get cosmetic surgery for? How come the OP and I, have heard this unsolictied disclosure enough times to notice it and think it is odd? | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:42:40 AM | Meh. I have to answer this.
Because a woman is not going to purposefully make herself look ugly is she?
Yes, actually. There are times that I DO. On purpose. For me! I want to blend. I want to go unnoticed. There are times I want to slither over to the drugstore or 7-11 and not have any attention drawn to myself. If I had a cloak of invisibility, there are times I WOULD WEAR IT!
Why do women even feel the need to clarify who they dress for or get cosmetic surgery for?
You guys quit asking, we'll quit answering. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:44:42 AM | simple women dress to compete with other women. And men dress to compete with other men.
Its not always about the opposite sex for dating sometimes its about power or other intangibles about looking better then others of your sex.
when you dress down your bowing out of this power game which is a form of power in of itself. And can get you noticed anyway. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:49:39 AM | Here's a good example, actually.
I work from home. No one sees me unless I choose it. I work with high level executives on a daily basis via online conferencing. I can sit here with my hair in a ponytail dressed in my sweatpants and fleece, as is often the case, and do very well.
BUT, on days that I am closing deals or if I have a presentation to the entire board of an organization, I will dress up, do my hair and take time to look good.
They can't see me. No one can. But it gives ME a little boost of confidence, and it works. Other days I might just be a little down and a bit of red lipstick and a great hair day is a good "pick me up".
Make sense? | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:50:32 AM | Because a woman is not going to purposefully make herself look ugly is she?
Not to herself, she's not - not sure what you mean by that. If she hates it, then she won't wear it. Would you wore something you hated? I agree with HC, there are definitely those "leave me alone" days when we want to get something done and don't want to be bothered. If you saw us all at the gym, you wouldn't even see this thread in the first place. If that doesn't contradict this, I don't know what does. I mean those of us who work out, not the ones who go to stand around and get noticed.
If you were on a deserted island that happened to have a huge wardrobe and make up counter, or whatever they call it, but you were never going to see another human again, would you still choose outfits and do you hair and make up?
If you say yes, then ok you dress for yourself.
Of course I would, I do that when I am home quite a bit...and no one's there to see that either. I just feel better when I think I look good, regardless of who's around.
Because when a man hears a woman say "I dress for myself" or "I got a boob job for myself", in his head he laughs and thinks "yeah, sure you did".
I just am stating how ridiculous it sounds to a man, when he hears that.
Why do women even feel the need to clarify who they dress for or get cosmetic surgery for? How come the OP and I, have heard this unsolictied disclosure enough times to notice it and think it is odd?
The ones here said it in response to someone saying they don't - when do women voluntarily say that sort of thing without being asked? Most times I hear that, it's because someone else brought it up... and a woman clarified it. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:13:33 AM | Yeah yeah read the thread:
see where this is going - she is not allowed to dress for comfort or for herself, it has to be the hyper sexy kit for him.
Nah - when the man makes the effort then I make the effort back, otherwise it is for comfort and what I like to see me in.
so there | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:19:20 AM | | I do it all for me except for what some of the pp have mentioned with the lingerie even though that still is for me too. I would never wear something I felt uncomfortable in or didn't like just for other people. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:24:43 AM | | i dress for me i like to feel comfortable if i could stay in my pjs all day i probably would, but saying that if i go for a night out i dress to impress and my dress does vary depending on what friends i go out with on that particular night | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:26:23 AM | I'm an actor. I dress to have a certain image, one that portrays who I am that's differente from everyone else, but also to fit with the current trends. (sorta makes it tough)
I'm not gonna lie, I dress to look good.
I, like pretty much everyone else, require gratification through external affirmation.
I like when girls look twice or stare, and I like when their boyfriends get jealous!
When I get home, my roomates are lucky if I even wear pants... | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:39:37 AM |
But you still dress a certain way because it is generally considered attractive.
Why is that so hard to admit? Is that threatening to a woman's power?
There are two errors here. The first is that when someone dresses in a way that's attractive to you, they're doing it specifically to elicit that response. This is untrue. What men find attractive varies so wildly from individual to individual that it's safe to assume that what you find attractive is going to be unattractive, even repulsive, to other men. This includes clothing that's revealing. Many men find it wh*rish, and are disgusted by it.
The second error is that a woman's primary source of power is her appearance. It's not a source of power at all. It's actually a source of major insecurity. The most uncertain time in most women's lives is when she's considered most physically attractive (late adolescence into early adulthood), and it isn't until she develops other aspects of herself, like marketable skills or even just skills in general, that her confidence grows.
The other issue here is that attractive women don't really have more options, at least not more good options. The stupidest reason a man can marry, or even just pair up, is a woman's looks, because looks don't last. Men who marry for looks tend to be least satisfied with their marriages, so a woman who has men flocking around her because of her looks has her pick of fools, but not of the litter. And yes, attractive women can and do downgrade their looks deliberately in order to avoid those fools. Personally, the last thing I have ever needed in my life is an idiot who is led around by his little head.
Looks are only a source of power when a woman is actually making money from them, like models or actresses, and even then their looks are only one part of the equation. Models and actresses bring other skills to their work besides their looks. Even golddiggers have to have something else going besides their looks. It may be nothing more than the ability to stroke egos and fake orgasms, but there is something else there.
To sum up:
1. It's not all about you. People in general, and random women in particular, are highly unlikely to be expending effort into getting any kind of reaction out of you, and total strangers especially are not thinking of you when they groom and dress. How a woman takes care of herself is going to have a lot more to do with social class and family culture than it is with how hot she's going to look to you personally, or men in general, at any given moment. Some women (yes, me included) don't dress to please even when we're partnered. For the most part, women go about their business in whatever way is most comfortable for them, without giving you an instant of thought.
2. Just because female beauty renders you stupid doesn't mean that women consider this a source of power, much less their primary source. Our response is more along the lines of pity, exasperation or contempt. A woman who catches on to your reaction to her looks is likely to do one of two things, blow you off or take advantage of you. A woman who isn't attractive to you but notices you acting like an idiot around women who are will probably lose respect for you.
I'm really starting to think that the primary reason why so many men find women confusing is because they can't imagine a woman doing anything that doesn't have men as the primary motivation. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:51:14 AM |
Yes, actually. There are times that I DO. On purpose. For me! I want to blend. I want to go unnoticed. There are times I want to slither over to the drugstore or 7-11 and not have any attention drawn to myself. If I had a cloak of invisibility, there are times I WOULD WEAR IT!
Ok....well that maybe the one honest example of "dressing for myself".
Why do women even feel the need to clarify who they dress for or get cosmetic surgery for?
You guys quit asking, we'll quit answering.
Besides this thread, I have never heard of a guy asking.
But I have heard multiple women talking about getting a boob job, and then clarifying that she did it for herself. Why does she need to say that?
Or like that line in the Pink song "We didn't get all dressed up for you to see" in a club setting. I am sorry that is BS. Women may not like all the male attention they get,(must be tough) But dressing up means dressing to be attractive. Nobody can escape that. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:54:24 AM | Besides this thread, I have never heard of a guy asking.
Then clearly you have not been paying attention. I'm not going to select the individual threads, you can do that yourself.
Just type "dress" in the search field and select Ask a Girl. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:55:59 AM |
see where this is going - she is not allowed to dress for comfort or for herself, it has to be the hyper sexy kit for him.
See here we go. You make the underlying assumption that Men in general, expect you as a woman to look hyper sexy for them.
Honestly, I could care less what you look like. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:58:08 AM | I dress for myself , my sense of style, and comfort. However, when I'm going out on a date or out with my girlfriends, since I am single I do want to look fabulous for any potential man I may come across! You do FEEL good when you dress up!
Heck, those women that say they don't - are fibbing! | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:11:56 PM |
I'm really starting to think that the primary reason why so many men find women confusing is because they can't imagine a woman doing anything that doesn't have men as the primary motivation.
Not surprisingly, onlyforumsonly gets my point of view on this. Maybe because there was a time years ago women were groomed to find husbands and therefore a man's general approval made more of a difference - some men still think this is a trend. It's not.
Furthermore, it's the chicken and the egg - you think we dress to be attractive to you because you're attracted. Doesn't mean that because you're attracted, we'll dress to attract you....if women everywhere changed their entire wardrobe to something different, guess what would happen? Yep, men would follow suit and find it attractive, because they're conditoned to...
But I have heard multiple women talking about getting a boob job, and then clarifying that she did it for herself. Why does she need to say that?
Because it's true, or because someone ASKED her. I have two friends that did this because THEY hated their own bodies and wanted to be more proportionate. Both were attractive women that dated regularly and didn't need to change anything to get attention - but when they were home at night alone, it was something they didn't want to look at in a mirror. Yes, men like boobs, but that doesn't mean everything women do with them is for men.
Some women dress or have surgeries strictly for attention, but that's a self esteem thing...
Or like that line in the Pink song "We didn't get all dressed up for you to see" in a club setting. I am sorry that is BS. Women may not like all the male attention they get,(must be tough) But dressing up means dressing to be attractive. Nobody can escape that.
Do we like to dress to be attractive to the public at times? Yes - but specifically I know I end up getting more attention from men when I am in a t shirt, jeans, sneakers then when I am dressed up because I am less intimidating.
Bottom line is women dress to feel sexy and the result is you react, therefore you assume it was done for your benefit. Sounds logical to you, but it's not the way it happens a lot of times. Sorry. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:16:41 PM | It depends. I wear what I like. I dress sexy for Argentine tango because it is fun and it is the norm in that genera. I dress for myself at home sweats and comfortable cozy clothes. I like to look good when shopping. Casual stylish clothes but not trendy. When I go out for an occasion or dinner I dress in something I think is lovely. I hope others think I look good but if they do not thats OK too. I do not have a desire to impress others or to say " screw you "either. I like to look good because it makes me feel good just like I like being healthily slim. I also look after my hair and skin for that reason. I am proud of myself and it shows both inside and out. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:32:17 PM | msg # 19
oloroso.
I disagree with this statement.
if I am so inclined I go to the supermarket in my pj's and my hair combed but not styled and I am aware I look like s**t. I have very high self- esteem. I think it is people with poor self-esteem that need to have a good image most of the time and to impress others. I can assure you my self confidence has nothing to do with hoe the outside world sees me. I am not interested in dressing for men or women for that matter. If people are not impressed then they are not impressed.
I do not get why you need to argue with the feedback. Is it possiblethat you always need to be right?
| |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:35:44 PM | Who is there to please but myself?
Whether it is only my skin or it feels as close as my skin to my bones ... that's what matters to me. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:52:03 PM |
Do we like to dress to be attractive to the public at times? Yes - but specifically I know I end up getting more attention from men when I am in a t shirt, jeans, sneakers then when I am dressed up because I am less intimidating.
Bottom line is women dress to feel sexy and the result is you react, therefore you assume it was done for your benefit. Sounds logical to you, but it's not the way it happens a lot of times. Sorry.
So you are admitting that you like to be attractive and feel sexy. There is nothing wrong with that. That is only natural.
But you think men get some benefit by looking at you when you dress to feel sexy?
What is this benefit? The only thing benefitting is your ego. | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:05:33 PM | OK . . .heres the real deal guys . . .women dress in clothes that to THEM are absolutely and totally adorably CUTE!
We (me and most of the women I know) go shopping and if we happen to find a low-cut, pink-polka-dot sundress . . .so what if it's a little revealing and "sexy" . . .we don't care as long as WE think it's to die for CUTE!!!!! If it's sweats, jeans, sweaters, tank tops . . .same goes . . .as long as we love it we'll wear it.
Trust me . . .this is one of the most plain and simple things to know about women . . .we will dress in something WE think is cute! (And we don't care what men think about it!) | |
|
| WHO do you dress for ?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:26:19 PM | To msg#48
sardonis
Men are just not that important. Their attraction to us in what we wear or how we dress or if we feel sexy of if we do or do not wear make-up does not mean much in the scheme of things. It may have done when we were in our teens and early twenties but we get over that when we grow up. So I think it is projection on your part when talking of ego. | |
|
Home
login 
