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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 101 | |
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| Do men really like 'hard to get' women?
Posted: 2/25/2009 4:57:14 PM | | Why do we care if men really like "hard to get" women? Why don't we, as women, just enjoy our lives in a manner that makes us happy. If you want to sleep with someone on a first date, enjoy yourself and do it. If you want to wait, wait. If you want to play coy and make a man chase you, try it. If it works for you and does something for you, great. The fact of the matter is, the right man and the right woman will like each other for who they are acting naturally. If you are acting against your nature when you meet, then you are working with a lie to begin with. We, as women, need to stop being so desperate to snag any man. Enjoy your life and when the right man enters your life, he will be the one that wants you the way you are. | |
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| Do men really like 'hard to get' women?
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:24:23 PM | | I can't see more than one person at a time. It takes me longer now to be physical with someone, maybe because I am older and (perhaps) wiser, and I know better what I want out of a relationship. I think I'm willing to wait a bit (despite urges) to be sure that who I like really likes me for me, and not just for sex or to have a woman by his side. It's not a game, it's me being sure I'm being valued for all that I am, not just for sex. I think that if a relationship is building during this time, the sex is only better when it happens, because you both want it more and care more, can be more open, intimate, etc. Part of that relationship building process is being sure the relationship isn't one sided, so I give, and then I wait.....I step forward, and I wait. I don't step back - I just wait for reciprication, confirmation, perhaps him to take his steps, too. | |
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| Do men really like 'hard to get' women?
Posted: 3/19/2009 2:38:17 AM | Okay, folks, here's my question...
I recently read a very good book (STUPID title, but great book) called Catch Him & Keep Him -- it's an eBook. The premise of the book is this: men do NOT want to be chased by needy, possessive, clingy women. They want to be the pursuers, they want to 'win' a woman.
The advice the author gives is for women to date many men simultaneously (NOT sleep with them, date them), and to be honest that you're playing the field. He goes on to say not to be too available, not to be demanding about getting time with him, and basically to keep it lots of fun, playful -- an non-sexual until you 'get a commitment'. The theory being, if you sleep with him too soon, he will never be committed to you emotionally.
I totally get and understand everything this author states, but the last bit sticks in my craw a bit...so guys, tell me -- if a woman sleeps with you early on in a relationship, is it possible for you to develop real feelings for her, or is she always going to be a f*ck buddy in your minds?
I really want to know what guys think about this...
For me, yah I don't want to be chased by someone needy and possessive. Thats one end of the spectrum. But on the other end of the spectrum I don't have the need to 'win' the woman who is playing hard to get. If she is telling me she's playing the field and she's not that into me then I'm moving on. If she doesn't show any interest then what signals do I get that I should continue to spend time with her. Just my 2 cents. Also I'd be interested to know about the guys who like to pursue and 'win' her. Once you've won her, what's next? Do you keep her or find someone else to pursue? | |
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