| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 12:01:43 PM |
So, you had a great date. She's cuter than her pictures. She didn't fart at dinner. You had great conversation all night. You are into her...so you go for the kiss...then you go for more...and she doesn't stop you. You guys had great sex. So, will you call her again?
Yes.
For something more than Sex?
Yes.
Would you consider having a relationship with her?
Yes. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:58:33 PM | Yikes!
Trap, no?
I do not USE sex for anything but a good time.
I do not expect a call back. I do not expect a relationship...I'm just curious if what my friend is saying is true, that they don't call back if you put out. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 2:05:56 PM | "I am not insecure about other guys. I've been in shower rooms and I know where I stand..."
Ahhahahahahaha!
So...wanna go on a date? | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 129 | |
| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 3:37:59 PM | Wow how loaded are the questions getting these days !! Bring it on !! ;)
And yes as long as everything in the first meeting was honest, genuine and authentic .... regardless of what happens, then yes I'd want to see that person again.
The whole school of "don't put out, make men chase that's what they want, etc" is from a antiquated defunct school of manipulation and game playing that more and more guys can see straight though now.
It's authentic encounters that are important and being honest about it that matters, once the game playing enters, you've lost yourself to the games.
So, will you call her again? For something more than Sex? Would you consider having a relationship with her?
Yes on all counts. Have done and will do again.
Can you have truly great sex without anything in common? I can't, no woman I know can.
Then we know very different women .............. and I disagree with you there with first hand knowledge.
I do not USE sex for anything but a good time.
I do not expect a call back. I do not expect a relationship...
There needs to be more people like you in the world I think.
I'm just curious if what my friend is saying is true, that they don't call back if you put out.
No it's not true. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:40:38 PM | I think the answerS to this question depend on the conditions. When a guy's strong motivation is getting "some a$$", even if he isn't that into you, he will have sex if you're not too unattractive. Will he call you again? He'd have to be into you. Just because you two hooked up, doesn't mean he's looking to date you.
Also -- if the woman is keeping the "door open" in an obvious way to "possibly" have sex, he may very well go with the flow, despite his initial expectations/intentions weren't to have sex. So if you really want to know whether he's that into you, make sure you don't keep that possibility to go over to each other's place very open.
Measuring stick for women: If the guy seems a bit out of your league, or if you two seem like very different people, but he really seems interested in you for no reason... and is pushing for you to go to his place (or vice versa), then he's most likely looking for some a$$ -- or he has a huge crush on you. Not really any in between. The more you keep that "door open", the less you'll know what his main aim is.
You don't know if he's really that into you because you two slept together, any more than if you guys kissed when drunk. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:34:16 PM | I don't think putting off sex is a dumb idea; a lot could be said for mind ****ing.
MistressDolly
Putting out on the first date. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:38:39 PM | I would resist having sex on the first date. Which isn't to say that I wouldn't be flattered, and I definitely don't believe in a "slut" double standard. I'm just as guilty for "being weak" and "giving in."
I met someone, we really clicked, I thought she was someone I could go the distance with. We had sex on the first date... and things started getting weird right away. I think building a relationship is sort of like building a fire. You want to lay out your fuel properly, so it burns long and hot. Sex on the first date (and it was really, really good sex) is sort of like throwing a 40gallon drum of gasoline on your fire... afterwards you're wondering where the hell your campsite/fireplace/trailer/whatever went. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/10/2008 10:50:25 PM | there probably wont be sex on the first date especially with the manner you described.
When it comes to sex i dont make the first moves unless i am VERY sure that it is wanted and welcomed. I can be pretty dense at times when it comes to the body language and other hints of interest at level too.
So only way there would be any sex, especially on a first date would be if she was the initiator and very obvious in what she wanted.
Yes i would call again or write or some kinda communication or something that let her know it was all good and to see how far things can go.
Not only that but sex on the first date would increase the chances of continued and future interest not less.
Something like that to me is a very unexpected surprise as my usual assumption is that it will come later if it comes at all. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:45:03 AM | | How could you have a serious relationship with someone who gives it up that easily? Most guys will assume that the girl has done the exact same thing with 20 other guys before him and won't view that woman as a relationship material. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:51:00 AM | "No, I absolutely hate having great sex with beautiful women... *shudder*. Well d'uh! I call her again. Hell, she might have a hard time getting me to *go home* ;-).
For something more than Sex? Would you consider having a relationship with her?
Well, I tell ya. One of my first POF experiences went alot like that. Then there were some misunderstandings, and I lost her. But by gawd I do wish I had handled it better... yep, even Cowboys make mistakes :-(.
We had sex on our first date. Big deal, we're all grownups here. I'd still have had a relationship with her in a heartbeat.
Cowboy"
awww...
so sweet.
She's missing out. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:21:42 PM | | I've had quite a few ONS. I can't say they were all bad, or any that really good. In all honesty, I usually talk after sex kinda get the details on everything and where we stand. I hate confusion, and like to sort things out before I take my nap. Sex is sex ya know? Can't blame a girl for wanting it as much as you do. I would consider it, not based on the sex, although good sex is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship, I would take into the other factors.. like does she chew with her mouth open and talk, spiting broken up food everywhere. That can be funny to watch but not attactive, imo. I think this question is really opinionated, and differs from person to person. To each their own. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:27:49 PM | | I wouldn't have sex on the first date, in fact, not outside of marriage (for faith reasons). But, it depends on what each person wants. I think someone who doesn't call at all after the first date but had sex, probably just wanted a 'booty call.' | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:35:37 PM | "I think someone who doesn't call at all after the first date but had sex, probably just wanted a 'booty call.'"
Is that conclusion a matter of "thinking" or "faith"?
There is a (c) option: The sex was real bad! | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/18/2008 5:10:16 PM | This is always a concern of mine. VVV
How could you have a serious relationship with someone who gives it up that easily? Most guys will assume that the girl has done the exact same thing with 20 other guys before him and won't view that woman as a relationship material.
I said before "Why the hell not" but its not like I sleep with every guy I'm attracted to on the first date. I'm just saying that if I felt stronger for one person than the others, I wouldn't worry too much about how I felt about it.
If some guys have a problem with it, there's nothing I can do to change their judgement, but then again if they can't give me a chance then they're not worth it in my book. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/18/2008 5:24:21 PM | I guess this is pretty much all about how one feels about sex in the first place. Whether you're into saving it for some more 'appropriate' time or just using it as a leisurely pastime. I don't think either camp is wrong with their views but for me, I don't particularly want to see a woman who will give it up right away. It's not a double standard really (after all, if she's having sex with him on the first date, the same must apply to him) although some folks will certainly view it this way while others will reinforce the stereotypical connotations associated with the matter. I simply wouldn't want to be with anybody who takes sex so lightly. That's not to say that sex is a serious matter necessarily but between the diseases and the possibility of conceiving a child, I'd like to know just who it is I'm dealing with.
I dunno. I don't think any woman is a slut simply because she has sex on the first date. After all, many people don't even bother with the charade of a date in the first place and there's nothing wrong with any of it in principle. For some people sex is just a way to have fun. It most certainly is. For others it's strictly for making babies. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. For me, I prefer to wait for after a couple of dates at least to get a better understanding of who I'm actually having sex with. That's simply a matter of personal judgement. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:21:57 AM | OP
So, will you call her again? YES,why not
For something more than Sex? YES,sex is good, but might be more
Would you consider having a relationship with her? YES,generally if sex was good, with emotions involved,sex should be even better
There will always be men that only wanna hit and quit after getting sex.
There are women that do the same once they have [ had] a man. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:48:57 AM | | i wudnt try for sex on the first date. and if she did then it would probably be over there and then. i cant stand that kind of thing. have some self respect for godsake sex isnt everything. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:36:50 PM | If I had sex with a guy on the first date, it would be because I'm attracted to him in some way. If I then never heard from him again, it would tell me that I shouldn't always trust my instincts.
I find it funny that a man would have sex right away, then turn around and judge the woman. Hello? Doesn't make sense to me.
I like sex. If I want to have sex and the guy wants to have sex, oh well. I don't feel bad about it and I don't care if the guy wants to judge me. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:39:54 PM | There's a song by the band blood 4 blood, called "So Common, So Cheap", it states very clearly:
If a girl sucks great**** shes a pro, and if she'll spread on the first date, she's a hoe. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:47:49 PM | | Hmmm... from a Christian point of view, all premarital sex is bad. What does it matter if it's on the first date or the fiftieth??? I suppose it just depends on how comfortable you two are. I don't think I've ever put out on a fist date, but it wasn't because the guy didn't want to, lol. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:36:49 PM | Let's see...great date, cuter than I expected; really don't care about retained or not retained internal gas; great conversation; we're into each other, and things get physical. Why the hell wouldn't I call her? She sounds great! Just about every first date I've had included some intimate contact. It certainly doesn't sound the death knell regarding the relationship. Early sex and a good relationship are not mutually exclusive... | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:06:01 PM |
If a girl sucks great**** shes a pro, and if she'll spread on the first date, she's a hoe. And said woman deserves someone in her life who isn't such a judgemental arse. Would these same men be complaining because a woman they're with DOESN'T give gread head? I think no matter how you view it, the woman comes out the loser (in more ways than one, in some cases).
It's okay for the guy to accept, but she's a "hoe" if she does it. Whatever. I'm not sure how this makes her a garden tool. | |
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| Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:14:59 AM | Firstly, it's a quote, if the "" at the borders weren't a dead giveaway. Secondly, I'll thank you not to garnish your diatribe with some projection of your own standards. You can believe whatever you like to about women, that's your right, but don't take the generalization as blasphemy and don't assume you have the right to guage my worth as a person based on it.
I guess, you'll just have to grow a sense of humor. | |
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