| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 8:07:51 AM | It just busts my bunnies to see how silly people can be. Purhaps ignorant is a better choice of words.
I've gotten a few emails where the person OBVIOUSLY didn't read my profile. Delete button all the way. However, like in the case of OutMind, there are probably good times to bend the rules. SHows what you might find more imortant. As for the laundry list of must not/must bes. I'd like to be pointed to a profile like that. Mostly out of curiosity. With the exception of things poeple KNOW they cannot stand i would thik that naming the most important (And general) things are good. I say this only because I've clicked in the past with poele who do NOT fit my physical ideal. It just taught me what was really important to me. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 11:45:34 AM | medana, I couldn't read your entire post ( ) but skimming over, I'm concluding you attempt to further explain your notions of philandering non-commitment vagaries.
For the record, I've not read your profile (I did look at the silly pics and laughed, in case you question I show up as having "viewed you"), and I was going by what you wrote in your post.
What's outrageous is the existence of this very thread, when it seems like you may be the one with unreasonable expectations, ironically whining about the reasonable ones of others. I suspect you are the type of person who'll tell anyone with their own opinion to "get a life".
Grace and class are attractive traits - I doubt that coming to display and repine your deficiency will help your situation.
Rethink your difficulty - outrageous expectations, fumbled attempts to connect, sabotaged communications, or cantankerous inflexibility?
I stand by my previous grammatical observations.
Good day madam medana.
- Excog | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:00:08 PM | | Ok, just learned something new on here. Your posts can be deleted by someone else?? I posted something yesterday about dating vs. intimate encounters, Nothing profane or rude, just observations. Mainly about men taking their "2 a.m. bar routine" to the internet. Get anything, get it fast, has a pulse...good to go. Apparently, I hit a nerve with some guy (probably one of the men who has approached me on here for a one-night stand, since I quoted a couple of their ridiculous lines.) Has anyone else had their posts deleted or am I just imagining things? | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:19:41 PM | I have a problem with people who initiate a conversation, then dont have anything to say. or answer with only a "yes" "no" or "ok".
Or the one who accuses you of "cheating" by talking to other people, if you take too long to answer back. Because they email you, your life now has to revolve around them.
One guy, first convo, I added to yahoo. the second he was wanting my phone number, and talking about, if were going to have a serious relationship we have to work on it, and quit talking to other guys. He lived about 120 miles from me. I dont do long distance relationships. He said he will move closer to me. I'm like are you serious? Thats just scary. He kept saying I wouldnt even work on the relationship, that I was a whore, and thats was why he didnt trust women. I had to block him. Too weird. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 12:26:45 PM | | This guy is only making excuses for his own lack of common sense. Yep my biggest beef is men who email me with their phone number and think I am going to call them when they don't have a pic on their profile ( had one today)....it's like they think we are automatically attracted to them just because they have shown interest in us, I just dont get it! | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:21:28 PM | Cuddles it is like this. This is the internet, and they are doing their one stop shopping. Thus they think hey here is someone I find hot, they are mine for the taking.
It never cesses to amaze me that they forget the profile and pics are of real people, and not a site to order what you want, when you want. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:26:01 PM | | I been on other dating sites for over the past year(As you can see no luck on dating sites or doing it the old fashion way:(), and I never get any messages or any responses. Even from women who have similar interests with me. I get nothing... The must except me to be Tom Cruise or some big player who will lie threw his teeth to get into their pants. My mother has had better luck then me on dating sites. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:28:19 PM | OP I agree your reaction and expectations are completely in line. He is wacked and not only that I think suspicious if he won't put up a pic.
Chemistry DOES matter.
I'll tell you though, I'm contacted by lots of guys with no pics, and I don't even bother responding to them, and if they get to be a pest I block them. It's not worth my energy.
just my .02
liz | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:35:36 PM |
I recently had a guy get very mad at me for telling him I don't do "coffee dates" or "drink dates". If a man can't spend a few dollars buying a woman a salad or some type of dinner, what kind of investment will he make later in a relationship?
So for you it's all about the guy's money?
He wrote me a few scathing emails thereafter
Ok, he wasn't being very smart there. He should have just moved on.
I pointed out that there are many, many women here who would love to have a coffee date with him.
I don't understand why you'd even bother replying when he became rude. | |
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Juder
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Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 60 | |
| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/6/2008 5:45:26 PM | | Everyone is different and responds differently to e-mail notes on POF, so if your not digging it, end the correspondence, no hard feelings right? But damn...this guy sounds like he's got issues. Why am I posting on here? | |
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Juder
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Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 61 | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 62 | |
| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:22:39 AM | mr ex...
cantankerous??? really?? c'mon, u can't feel that bad a need to prove urself smart, esp to a foreigner whose first language isnt even english
u need therapy hun. first i was pissed, now i see u got serious problems, so i see why this thread HIT A SORE SPOT
I have a problem with people who initiate a conversation, then dont have anything to say. or answer with only a "yes" "no" or "ok".
Or the one who accuses you of "cheating" by talking to other people, if you take too long to answer back. Because they email you, your life now has to revolve around them.
i had that too, people who wanted me to commit to them before i even met them.
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:44:49 AM | Yes, some people have all of the excuses in the world, you did the right thing, if they are too lazy to read a profile, or too insecure to post a photo (gee, I wonder what the real reason is... ) and yes looks have a lot to do with chemistry, some of the pictures of men, (sorry I dont look at the womens photos, so I dont know) show a man that looks seventy and it says he is 49! What a joke.. yes people lie on resumes, profiles and post old pictures but not everyone, so that is why the fishing theme is so right for dating, you dont want to be attracted to everyone and you sure dont want to be attractive to everyone either. There is one person above the others that has the personality, physical appearance, humor, passion, intelligence and lifestyle that suits you just right, and it takes looking at a lot of fish to find the right one in most cases... so make sure your bait is good and drop a line...
BL | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 8:56:40 AM | I believe people do tend to dismiss others online a bit too quickly.
Take the same person face to face & have a completely different view on who they are.
They might even like them and even overlook some of their preference's they have listed online. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 11:24:29 AM | hehehe its the simple fact many are too stupid to actually read the profile so they know what to ask and who the hell asks someone on a date right away?? thats the most retarded thing i've heard....buddy should at least take time to know a little bit about you before asking you out on a date...both these boys sound pretty useless then cause one is too dense to read a profile and one expects women to date him right away.. i laugh at those ppl so much...there comical...and laugh even harder at there lame excuses... | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 11:36:24 AM | | I just say things like sure if you tie you d1ck to your balls until they turn blue send me a picture and then I will consider meeting you. Once I had a guy do it!! Then I said now get a dildo and shove it up your a$$....send a picture! I tell you that was the funniest week I had on the net then I got a little freaked out so I blocked him. He really did want to meet me. I thought that was a little needy and dependant and since he lived 8 hours away that would be a long distance relationship....who wants that??? | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 67 | |
| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:18:55 PM | ms not-4-u,
that dude wasn't needy and dependent but a total freak. most likely someone into bondage and sado-masochism. u didn't cool him off w those demands, u were his dream come true! that was what he wanted! i betcha he would have come to the date w a chain on his genitals asking u to pull it till he turned purple and red w pain. if he likes pain and torture, he was just escalading.
i meet those all the time (must be the horns, or i must look mean?), the type that wants u to beat them up, treat them bad, humiliate them etc.they are submissives and bondage slaves, baby doll :)
for more such fun turn to bondage dot com :)
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:23:18 PM | op. it's people who feel free to let their whiny feelings of being annoyed show when they can't get their own way, because it's the safety of an anonymous reply behind the glass screen of a monitor... i'm sure that if it were to happen in real life they'd be much more *cool* in their responses...
or maybe not... in which case, you're doubly lucky not to meet them | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:37:39 PM |
No it isn't just you. I recently had a guy get very mad at me for telling him I don't do "coffee dates" or "drink dates". If a man can't spend a few dollars buying a woman a salad or some type of dinner, what kind of investment will he make later in a relationship? I'm not the "meet me for coffee" or "meet me for a drink" type of girl. He wrote me a few scathing emails thereafter. I pointed out that there are many, many women here who would love to have a coffee date with him. I don't care what anyone expects, I know what I want, and I go for it. Best just to ignore the guys who get angry because you don't do what they want you to do.
Actually, any woman that places that much importance on "what to buy her" on a first date, obviously has her priorities messed up...Man you're an older 50+ lady, I figured you'd be mature enough to have it together.
Just curious, how much did you shaft your ex-hubby for in the settlemen, with you being a legal secretary and all that, I bet you had the upper-hand, right? | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/7/2008 6:53:19 PM | Its not just you, some of these people are nuts.
I recently had a situation that didn't amke any sense.
this guy I've talked to several times emailed me and said my picture was not visable on the site. I hadn't realized I had taken my picture off by mistake. I thanked him, reset my picture and I made a comment that I had gotten some wierd emails from some guys , I wondered why anyone would contact someone without a picture, I said they may have been desprate, well he got very angry and sent back a email calling me shallow etc. and saying these men may have been just looking for honest women etc.
this guy totally went off on me even though he had a picture. the guys I was talking about not only had no picture but thier profiles really had no information about who they were, and on top of that they had sent emails that were sexual in nature on the first response. I'm thinking by his response I must have hit a nerve. I even said to him with so many gorgeous women on here why would a man even choose to contact a woman without a picture. does that make me shallow? I'd love to here from a guy on this ?
what isss wrong with these people?  | |
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hb111
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Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 71 | |
| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/8/2008 9:43:31 AM | Some people on POF are too picky. For example I saw a profile where a woman was looking for a man who is 6 ft tall, athletic/fit, white, between the ages of 35-40, never been married, has no kids. She is certainly entitled to look for what she wants, but IMO she has unrealistic expectations. Most men aren't 6 ft tall with an athletic build. Many men between the ages of 35-40 yrs old are divorced and/or have kids.
I think some people will reject a person too quickly after a date or a few email/phone conversations. I'm not stating you should date a person that is completely unappealing to you. However I wouldn't reject a woman just because she isn't exactly my ideal type or because there wasn't instant chemistry. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:20:42 PM |
Some people on POF are too picky. For example I saw a profile where a woman was looking for a man who is 6 ft tall, athletic/fit, white, between the ages of 35-40, never been married, has no kids. She is certainly entitled to look for what she wants, but IMO she has unrealistic expectations. Most men aren't 6 ft tall with an athletic build. Many men between the ages of 35-40 yrs old are divorced and/or have kids.
Picky maybe...unrealistic no. It might not describe me or you...but I'm sure there are some that it does. Many times I see ppl on here throw around 'picky' soley because they don't fit that profile. I'm sure that women has a good reason to want someone like that to her. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:03:38 PM |
and i am thinking:
1. justifying why he doesnt step up to the deal table by passing on guilt about what other people might or might not do
2. doesnt take responsibility, rather gives bunch of excuses,
3. tries to make me feel bad about having a sorting system and boundaries about who i am meeting
4. disregards chemistry as a dynamic in choosing a partner, which means he can email me because he is attracted to me, but i better not dare need the same.
5. can u say low intelligence?
6. doesn't have enough self esteem to show his face. or has a reason to hide
so i kinda let him have it
Amen to that! And then if for whatever reason you don't feel a connection, they just revert back to the same tired bag of trips to convince you that you are wrong for not wanting to deal with them. | |
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hb111
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Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 74 | |
| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:22:28 PM |
Picky maybe...unrealistic no. It might not describe me or you...but I'm sure there are some that it does. Many times I see ppl on here throw around 'picky' soley because they don't fit that profile. I'm sure that women has a good reason to want someone like that to her.
I wouldn't call someone picky because I don't match their requirements. But IMO I think it's unrealistic to have requirements that very few men will match. The height requirement itself will eliminate 80% of men. Not having kids and/or never been married will also eliminate a lot of men in the age group that she is looking for. | |
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| outrageous expectations from online daters
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:27:38 PM | | I always comment that the expectations are to high and their is no need to be nasty if we are not interested we are looking for a serious relationship and we can only do that with person, and only one person will fit the criteria........ | |
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