| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:07:20 AM | Geesh time and time and time again I write the rhyme of insightfulness........ does anyone look into the truth here . YOU are nowhere near ready for a sexual relationship with this man because you are still emotionally and sexually and physically connected to a sex partner you are no longer involved with. Everytime you feel yourself in any connection with this new partner you are not " there". You and I both know that your energy is not in the moment and to be truly "into" someoone you need to be into "yourself" first. Communication is being read without any verbalization, and you need to get to your truth which has nothing to do with this guy, believe me he can feel the neurological resistence a mile away. Guys can read this and more importantly feel this, do you actually think he will let down his guard and invest in the emotionally uninvestable. Great sex is cerebral, it is to look into anothers eyes and know the connection on the most intimate level offers no barriers . You do not even need to touch someone to have great sex if it is true. Your new acquaintence does not want to invest all of who he is with someone who has not done the work to shelf a "rock my world" past.
I am curious to know why a guy who supposedly rocked your world is no longer physically present in your life ? I doubt if you took a closer look into where you still are with this "sex god" you would begin to heal and move forward into now, which is where you have to be to make now your moment . A scary path, you know it but hey in order to be in the present you have to put the past to rest .
This guy is also selling himself short on investing here so he needs some insight into why he involves himself with someone uninvolved.
A good book, well two that come to mind are Sheet Music by Dr. Leman , although he is a christian based sexual therapist his work on the emotional mind of both parties in a sexual intimate connection is valuable and very healthy info.. and anything regarding sexuality and your psychological well being by Dr. Pat Berman is awesome info.
You know the only struggle to confront is YOURS not his. Cause guess who the only person is you control............................ YOU . | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:11:49 AM | | Yep is sure is and if its boring it'll wear on you over time to the point that you'll want that excitement from someone else. So many people put up with lousy sex and much of it lies with their own problem of not demanding more from their partner. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:35:44 AM | Are You worth it?
Why involve your self in sex that isn't 'great'?
I second the motion by 'howbigisyourlove'.
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 12:40:45 PM | Great sex is VERY important. Basically its another form of communication with each other. Right? Some may say talk about it... Sure it works if they are willing to discuss it. Most are not comfortable talking sex for whatever reason. It’s what we as humans do! At the end of the day it’s your choice. I wouldn’t hang around though... The toughest part is finding the one that rocks your world. Everything looks and sounds good on the outside. That is until get them behind closed doors. You might as well roll over and sleep. =)
Finally… If you’re still thinking about your ex and comparing your new guy to him… Whoa… Bad combination! You’ll never be satisfied. Maybe you need to go back to the ex? | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 4:49:11 PM | | if you're content settling it's not important at all then. For myself great sex is as important as great chemistry all around. If you're not getting all you want, why cheat yourself? Get what you want. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:42:02 PM | | its all been said before here but it sooo important that I'll leave my 2 cents woth too. If we are talking relationship...sex is incredibly important. From a normal guys perpsective its #1. If you are not compatible with your partner sexually than your relationship is doomed. Its that simple. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:54:14 PM | YES, YES, YES....it is very important.
A complete, healthy, loving, satisfying relationship should be 100% in all aspects. Sure there may be times when 1 area is off...but both definately need to be of like mind sexually.
as always, just my opinion | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:03:17 PM | | Well it's certainly better than boring and unsatisifying sex! I feel for you...is he willing to go for counseling? Maybe he's just going thru some stuff?? Hope it works out for you gf... | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:35:43 PM | If you are concerned about it at this point I can only say it will probably get worse.
Sad for sure. I had to let go a few that I really really liked but they just didn't have the flame and spirit that I know I desire and crave.
Now that I have found someone who complements me sexualy and mentaly I feel confident and comfortable that this will be a very long and fufilling relationship.
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:50:21 PM | | If he doesn't rock your world in every way; not just sex, he's not the right man. You should feel him in your bones!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/11/2008 6:17:32 PM | | In a word "yes" it is very important .....to me it is.....and sounds like it is to you too. You say you have experienced this with your ex-husband, so you know what it's like. And SOMEWHAT I agree with poster "Bethlett" that you can't TEACH a man creativity in bed ............you can't, UNLESS he wants it also. Have you ever tried talking to him about it? You aren't being satisfied as you once were and you will become frustrated in time.........or should I say MORE frustrated. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:04:26 PM | To some folks, SEX is a very important compatiablity factor, if great sex doesn't exist........ one of the two is bound to be miserable or seek a way to remedy that from another source -- IE:: toys or another person to have that *satisfied* feeling.
At the risk of sounding shallow......to me YES sexual compatiability is VERY important to me. I cannot forsee myself spending any chunk of time being miserable sexually and if I were in the OP's shoes I'd move on and find a more exciting partner. :) | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/11/2008 10:50:17 PM |
I've tried to lead the new one into doing some more adventureous stuff but he just isn't into it. he seems uncomfortable when he even tries.
So, is sex that important to a relationship and should I just move on and find a more exciting partner. I still have a lot of years of sexuality and don't want it to go to waste.
Either it's in him, or it isn't. Can't teach an old dog new tricks.  | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/14/2008 4:14:47 PM | All I could do was wonder whoever asked such a dumb question... What color the sky could possibly be in their empty little world lol
Has anyone said "the MOST important" yet?
or do I have to go back and read the whole thread ? | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/14/2008 4:32:18 PM | Sex? Absofrickinlutely!!! Great sex? If we’re so frickin’ fortunate!! 
But, since when is love and sex mutually inclusive?!?!?!? Quillandink, you surprise me. There is nothing wrong with the fact that your man is boring in bed. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you’re still in your sexual prime and desire it. (Btw, my number is 555-…. ) The situation is obvious: he’s not THE one. Nor are you the one for him. And I only base my opinion on the fact that something important to you doesn’t seem that important to him… and that sounds like a case of incompatibility for a deeper relationship. Continue being friends, even continue your intimacy (but why?) – at least be honest with him and tell it like it is. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/16/2008 1:29:52 AM | I was just thinking about funny 'bootycall' stories and checked the whole thread and notta one.
I guess maybe bootycall stories have nothing to do about 'relationship sex' but the way I look at its STILL a type of relatioship.
Those are the ones where SEX is the main deal.
You know. Get off work late, you know your bootycall is up, dont wanna go home.
OR you just got out of the bar partying it up with your friends and you end up knocking on your bootycalls door at 2 am in the morning on a wkday.
heh.
My last bootycall relationship came to an end but I guess the best are yet to cum.
If Sex isnt the main attraction.... what the hell else would it BE?
Oh lets go antique shopping, thats the best!
ohkay why dont you take YOUR car and ill meet you there.....
hop in your vehicle and hit the nearest stripjoint have a few beers and watch a hockey game.... lol
Maybe go for a rub n tug cuz you know youre not getting any when you get home?
YEAH im ALL over THAT!.... | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 70 | |
| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:08:30 AM | OP, i would tell him exactly what u said here. truth hurts but it is necessary to clean a wound that will otherwise be infested w gangrene
and to everyone bi*tching about her comparing the exes sexually.
us women do that when sex gets bad. it's natural. if this marriage was working, she would have mad sex w her current partner, only, it seems, as wonderful as he might otherwise be, he is dangerously oblivious as to what being unsympathetic to your partner's sexual needs does to his marriage.
baby doll, it is not ur fault, rather his for not listening to what u r trying to tell him. he needs a wake-up call, give it to him. it will never get better otherwise. tell him ur sex life isn't satisfying to u anymore, and would he agree for u guys to go, together, to a swingers party, just to watch.
if he refuses, tell him u r going with me!
LOL | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:33:54 AM | He probably thinks he's having great sex.
You're probably the best he's ever had.
You need to give this dog an education pretty quick or you know where things are heading. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/21/2008 2:45:26 PM | If you are in a relationship there shouldn't be anything you can't talk about, expecially sex, how you like it, when you like it, where you like it.....and if the other is really into you they will get out of their comfort zone to try and learn what you like....otherwise then they aren't the ONE.
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:26:33 PM | quill, Great sex starts w/ a partner whom you trust 100%, and who trusts you as much ...if not more so.
Yes, both aspects of an intimate relationship are very important or you'd not have posted this thread, but you might have to educate your new man before lead him into some of the finer points for the whys and hows to go about it w/ you. "Short of leaving scars" was good, but then the ex is history, and I sense that it took y'all a few years to learn for your idea of good sex w/ him ...and most likely also for why y'all are no longer together. Don't let your "Dark Side" 'cloud' what you went ISO since. Good men are a rare breed.
[We also have our little quirks when it comes to sex ...and not necessarily ones already acquired, even if I have yet to hear any complaints for those that I have.] Don't be pushy or aggressive, but rather 'tune in' to him assertively for what he'd be willing to do differently. If he loves you, he'll care to 'tune into' you also. | |
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| Is Great Sex THAT important?
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:46:38 PM | | Love ≠ sex. Your lack of a great sex life will permeate the rest of your relationship and resentment will build. This is fact. Don't believe the whole "love will make typical sex good." NO, IT WON'T. | |
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