silken
|
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 101 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 7:47:13 AM | I think Duffy made some valid suggestions but I don't understand how paying a hooker for sex is going to increase a guy's confidence? ;)
silken | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 8:34:47 AM | | Let's test that theory.......Any hookers out there wanna raise my ummm "confidence" level a bit? Hehehehehe | |
|
casino
|
Joined: 4/2/2004
Msg: 103 | |
| |
| Re: Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 9:12:35 AM | | Your appearance isn't what makes you so "unattractive"; it's your attitude and the way YOU see yourself that turns everyone away. Why would someone want to spend time with you when you're just going to make them feel as if they're doing it to just be "nice"? I don't think that I'm the most gorgeous woman in the world, but this is who I am and I have to except that. If I don't like what I look like then I change to make myself happy, not anyone else. If you're happy with you then thats all that matters, but apparently you're not happy, so do something different!! Do you know how many people there are in the world? Why worry about the few who never took the time to get to know you? I bet you're an awesome guy, but with the attitude you have going about yourself no one can notice!! Who cares that you haven't been on a date in 10 years? By saying that you seem as if you'd date ANYONE and act as if you're interested just to have a date. Bottom line- you're sounding desperate. Give it time, the perfect person will come and it'll have been worth the wait. | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 9:33:34 AM | hEY,
I think you are selling yourself short by stopping at 40. I am 40 and nobody knows it. I look 30. I get approached by men from the age of 27 to 50. I get approached by men who are in the late 20's to the early 30’s. If you really want a good woman, just be open to women period.
Also, maybe you have some fantasy in your mind about a beautiful young woman!! Well I hate to break this to you, but most beautiful young women want buff hard body bad boys, or a man with money......You have to be what you are looking for. If you want a woman with a nice body, you'd better have one, or if you want a model, then you better look like a model.
Let's keep it real, most people live in a fantasy world looking for someone that doesn’t exist.
Is that what you are doing? | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 106 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 12:45:43 PM | Duffy:
Thanks for the feed back and sounds like some good advice. However, I have to agree with "Silken" on this one. I don't think a hooker is the answer at all. Sex isn't the question or the issue here.
Maybe I should explain some of my definitions because I believe a lot of people here are confussed about somethings? Now, you may think what you like but I feel that my definitions are more close to the truth than the way some people view their own.:
Date= physcial being in the presence of a girl that agreed to go out with you be it day or night. Spending the night with some girl or having sex with one doesn't constitute a date. But rather an intiment encounter.
Girlfriend= someone you have been seeing regularly and exclusively for more than 6mos. Anything less than 6mos is merely a infatuation.
Women don't go to car shows so that option is out. I don't know why because there are lots of men there and the atmospher is far removed from the bar scene. They don't know what a golden opportunity they are missing out on. Some of the best folks I ever meet was at car shows.
My post are merely to open the door to understanding so that I can learn from this experience. I'm not really down person but in order for me to learn from the experience I have to express both sides of the issue. If I'm to get a true accounting... I think you see what I'm saying, it's not that I'm down on myself at all. Just trying to understand better and ask the tuff questions.
As for the rest of what you said I agree completely...I'm begining to do this very thing but in the real world. I'm not looking for anything from a website any longer. I do love this site because we can all talk and recieve responses. All others are failures because you can't learn a thing from a "deleted e-mail", "read deleted, and "unread deleted." All that says is the other person on the other end saw you as unworthy of a response but that doesn't tell you why your just left hanging never knowing the answer. That isn't a real good message to send to someone that was kind enough to go out of their way to write. It only says that the receiver is a poor individual without manners. Nevertheless, it still speaks only one thing no matter why the reciever didn't reply. It tells the guy who wrote it that he's crap and so he is left to assume a unhealthy attitude which is brutely to his esteem...
But thanks Duffy, stay tuned I'm getting much better and begining to spread my wings. | |
|
silken
|
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 107 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 12:49:11 PM | Hey W6 I'm female and I like car shows. :P
My BIG dream is to go to a BUG OUT! :)
silken | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 108 | |
| Re: Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 1:26:30 PM | luv2fck:
Sure your appearence has to do with the way you are looked at. No not every women is going to precieve me as good looking. Just like you don't precieve some everone good looking. They can either have a great personality or a bad one but that has nothing to do with looks. I've known women that had great personality's but that didn't make them prettier in my eye only more likable. I've known women that had terrible personalties too that were absoultely fine but they still remained good looking even if they were less likeable. The trick is finding some that has a personality that is appealing and also has an apperance that strikes your fancy. These women I call the "Good looking ones" It's a combination of what your saying. Not all one way or all the other but right in the middle.
Furthermore: Some of the women the world likes to call the "beauties" usually fall far below that definition in my preception. Anginlina jolie= Ugly, Camron dieaz= Ugly, Paris Hilton= Ugly, Brittney Spears= Ugly.... See my point? Sure other people will see them differently and I certainly respect their right to do so. It all comes down to personal taste. I'll give one example and only one of somone I think is pretty: NBC news reporter "Cambel Brown" Not exactly the super model you may have thought I would have named.
I don't think I have a problem of someone want to go out with me because they are just being nice or feel sorry for me. If that were so one would have to believe it would have happened by now. But not only that even the vicious gold diggers and user types avoid me. Now if I was such an easy target then I would already fell victim to one of them you would surmise. However, that's not the case the " O' I feel sorry for him type, Gold diggers, User types, the Good ones, or any other type." Have never bothered...
I'm not expecting anyone to care how long its been since I was on a date. It was merely a statement of the facts and nothing more. I'm not looking for a date here! I'm looking for advice only, sorry to disappoint an of you ladies but you need not try. My only purpose on this forum is to learn, ask questions, help others, and maybe we can all learn from each other to each improve upon ourselves.
If any lady is thinking I'm desperate then they are mistaken... What's even more funny is if there are some out there that really think that and that has caused them to steer away. It's a very good thing that they truly don't know the mistake they just made by letting me slip away. Soon enough I'll be taken and then and only then will they realise the opportunity they passed up because they thought the wrong thing. We live we learn and some mistakes cause us our greatest losses.
I'm truly a great guy, very happy, very funny, very energetic, even more outgoing than I might appear in these post. But my post are only questions not a true picture of myself, if that's their trouble then sadly they are missing the larger picture...
However, your absolutely right! The perfect person is out there and they are soon going to meet me, but it will be in the real world and not on a website.
Thank you so much for your reply, Best wishes! | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 109 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 1:30:12 PM | Silken:
Your an exception to the rule. There are a few that do go but it's a rare few. I'm sure you too have noticed this at any event you may have attended?
However, that's good to hear!
Obviously your not only wise in words but all so very wise were to shop... | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 3:13:47 PM | I go to car shows too, and I' m in a car club. I go to tracks, demolishon derbys. fyi
I guess you need to go to where more women hang out if you dont see them there, but personally for me, I would like someone that likes what I like. | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 111 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 3:30:51 PM | maidendg:
Good for you :)
I suppose it does depend greatly on what kind of vehicles, what kind of club, and I'm sure what part of the world your in has much to do with as well.
If I have a fault I was always a bit mor attracted to girly girls, tomboys were just friends and nothing more.... O' please don't think I'm calling you a tomboy. I think it's perfectly cool that a women is into cars it sure makes the events much more interesting. I wish more were but you have to agree that its less the norm than the rule. Needless to say, I would never find any of them attactive... It's a personal perferance thing not a macho male thing. So please don't take that comment like a insult or anything, it's not menat to be. :) | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 3:38:18 PM | | tis cool, well where do girly girls hand out? maybe go to a salon and get a pedicure/manicure once a week or so and scope the place out. | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 113 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 3:56:05 PM | Maidendg:
Actually; I have the faintest idea? However your suggestion while a very good one doesn't leave me much luck. I'd be as out of place in one of those joints as a fish out of water. I don't visit "starbucks" I find those places laughable. While everyone else is ordering a coffee with a name so long it needs its own "area code." They really give me a stange look when I order just a plain black cup of coffee and tell them don't put any of that fancy crap in it either... What do I look like a daisy? Those kind of drinks are for girls and candya$$es...
Sorry to say but: I'm a Man-man. A left over reilic from a by gone era but that's the way us country boys were raised. You respect your elders, you actions reflect upon your parents so therefor behave. We have good manners but yet we are sincere and very good natured spiced up with humor and honable values. | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 6:12:07 PM | | hey hey leave the country out of it!!!!!!!! Maybe thats what the problem, U know what they say u can take the boy outa the country but u cant take the country outa the boy lmao j/k | |
|
silken
|
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 115 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 6:18:23 PM | Well W6 I'm a 'girly girl' type I think..... I can't put a nail in the wall to save my life and I don't know much about cars but I do like to look at them. :) However, I leave all the handy type stuff to a guy because I just am not capable in that area.
However, I do do one thing that some men can't do.... I drive standard. Seems I meet a lot of men who almost gasp when they get in the car and see that I drive a standard. To me that's not tomboyish, it just means I can handle a manual transmission and I think that is a good skill for everyone to have. :)
silken | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 6:19:38 PM | | Damn, no one answered my request for a hooker! LOL Hello everyone! | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 117 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 6:27:05 PM | forthebeauty:
Nice to hear from you I hope all is well with you. I heared its going to get cold?
Unlike popular culture I'm not ashamed of my roots. Sure society says I should be but They really dispise people like me that reveal the lies they tell. They'ed much rather us set back and not point out the ruse they have been pulling over the people of this nation.
Actually, I try to keep my accent polished up for I don't won't to lose it. It does have it's advantages and the women seem to like it. Nothing more skin crawling than wispering into a sexy girls ear that she one sweeeeeetie pie.
 | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 7:37:38 PM | | I AGREE WITH GEOF3369,LOSE THE SHIRT,SO NEXT TIME U POST PLEASE SHOW A NEW LOOK ,NO OFFENCE | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 7:45:00 PM | You are far from the elephant man! Unfortunately the women on this site tend to be on the EXTREME side of gorgeous and are either strippers or models. You have so much to offer the right lady...don't give up you are handsome, intelligent and humble and in my book that goes a long way!
michelle | |
|
silken
|
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 120 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/7/2004 7:55:57 PM | Luvgoddess, I haven't seen a lot of supermodels on here. ;) But I must say I just sat through about 20 minutes of the live chat on here with one woman in particular continually (every few seconds) posting up pictures of different parts of her body... that was pretty sickening... she didn't have a lot to say, just wanted the compliments and drooling I think. ;) Oh and the men did drool like Pavlovian dogs. hehe
silken | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 121 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/8/2004 2:00:28 PM | luvgoddess:
Your post really cheered me up... Thanks for sharing your opinion.
I don't know about the strippers or models being here on this site? I would have thought one of the "strippers" would have already contacted me by now. So, many on here have constantly stated that I looked desperate? When in fact I was only trying to be objective in my questions, not that I actually believe what I say sometimes. But for me to understand how others are viewing me the questions must be asked and I feel some have missed that reasoning...
I think I often like some have said over anylaze things which I feel is true. Even more so the last few years than in my earlier lifetime. I suppose what I'm saying is I should re-learn to listen to my gut and less with my brain. Your points were very valid and brings to mind some bizarra behavior I misread far too often in the past. I can remeber seeing someone and just got the overwheliming feeling they were interested in me but I would convince myself that was impossible because I was not good looking enough to capture a womans attention of that caliber. So, I would miss out simply because they would try everything they could and I'd just keep saying: "there is no way this girl wants me..."
I often think back to one particular young lady many years ago. That in my job postion I was forced to have to visit her every evening. I escourted her to the vault with the money that the gift shop had made for that evening. Thinking back on it I realise I was attracted to her and this is why I dread having to do it but the job gave me no choice. Soon however we started talking because I would have to wait around sometimes while she finished closing up the store. We became friendly and joked around a lot she would even ask me to help her sometimes move something or hold a ladder for her which she was on (you can only imagine how that felt having her "assets" right there in your face: HA HA). She even had me many times help her in the back room which was extremely small and difficult to manuver around in without having to rub against one another. But I just didn't get it I was completely dumb but then again I wasn't I did know but always seem to discount everything about it. Eventually one evening I was with her and when I came in there was some other co-worker there most diffinetly trying to make an impression on her (to be honest I felt a bit jealous). He new he would have to leave once I came in, for the store had to be closed. After he left I very openly said to her: "Do you know what he was trying to do? She said no what? I said: "he's trying to put the move on you." and she replied: O' yea I know that. Then I said: "well?" she replied: He's cute I'd go out with him. That of course stuck me in a way I didn't expect and I said something real quick without giving it any thought. Which was: "Hey, I'm nice guy?" I didn't know that was implying to her that I was interested in her more than him.? Once I said it she immedaitely reached over the counter upon which I was resting with my arms and she grasped both of my hands with hers, smiled and was looking me eye to eye... It freaked me out and I quickly pulled my hands from hers and stepped back.... Yes, I was stupid to do so but I had not seen that coming and it caught me off guard. We continued to be socailble to one another afterwards and just ignored it ever happened. She didn't bring it up and neither did I. Eventually we went our seperate ways in life but I still think of her and how dumb it was for me to not realise I liked this girl and had only found reason to not like her instead of accepting the reasons I did like her.
Needless to say all of you really need to be commended. I'm improving and learning and being far more friendly in public. I'm begining to be more flirtatious in public and less critical of myself. This means the spark is returning to my soul and my cheerfulness is being seen more openly. I think some day soon I will be starting a new thread that says: Hey everyone I have a girlfriend now...
Thank you so much hearing your voice inspires me to believe a beautiful woman just might see me as better looking than I have given myself credit. Maybe that is partly to blame why so many girls have been unwilling to approach me? Just maybe what your saying is that it was never that I was sending negative signals but rather I looked uninterested and they where thinking I was far to cute to ever want them...
It's a thought! I don't know if it's true but it is a possibility that can't be ruled out unless everyone agrees that I'm ugly and that theory is a bust... | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 122 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 10/8/2004 2:23:43 PM | Hi Silken:
I haven't seen any supermodels either? However I'd have to say luvgoddess is very ease on the eyes...
I can only imagine how that chat room went with the PIC's you are referring too. But I've got a good idea? I really don't see anything wrong with a woman being appreacitive of own her looks but to that extremes is a bit much and very vain. A cute woman with a sense of modesty is far better looking in my eyes than any supermodel can every hope to be. Thus the supermodel falls below my standards of what is good looking and the cute woman rises above her in apperance...
Sure, I'm a guy I would have looked at the photos too. However I'm wise enough not to want to be viewed in the same light as those other fella's. I don't go chasing every pretty skirt that walks by. You ladies aren't stupid about guys like that and I know it too. This is why I prefer to be put in the group of men that are few and in between. You tend to notice us and ignore the dogs that are at your feet... It's one of those things: "The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence" If we appear more in control of ourselves then you all tend to become more intrigued to pursue what seems the better man. | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 11/12/2004 9:12:47 AM | First off, I'm new here, so: Hello, everyone!
WS6TA:
Sorry to hear about your situation there, man. Believe me, I've thought the same thoughts as you do, and still have those thoughts more often than I would like. However, I am doing my best to get rid of them.
But I know how you feel. You are alone while other men who you may feel are in some way (phsically/mentally/emotionally) less desirable than you are out with their girlfriends. It just doesn't make sense some days, does it? I'm much newer to this game than you are (trying to date again after my wife cheated on me), but I am already feeling the emotional stress of it all.
However, there is a part of me that contains a glimmer of hope, if only to rebel against the stifiling feelings of emotional destitution and desperation I feel crushing down on me sometimes. It is that glimmer of hope I am trying to build on.
Something tells me though, that you have heard this all before.
I'm doing the online dating thing, and althought the results have not been great, they could have been a lot worse so far. I wish I could give you some encouraging words, but I don't think I'm in that type of position to do so. What I can say is that you are not alone in having these thoughts, and there must be at least some kind of comfort in that.
By the way, if anyone could look at my profile and critique my image, I would appreciate it. Mostly because I took it myself, and I have had some people say it is a bac picture.
Thanks! | |
|
WS6TA
|
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 124 | |
| Unattractive?
Posted: 11/12/2004 1:49:43 PM | EdgarRice:
Yea, I know what you mean but I am doing much better. Haven't got any dates yet or able to get a woman to speak with me more than two minutes. However I'm very confident that I'm on the road to recovery. I've received lots of good advice from various people on here which I'm extemely greatful. I hope they and I can do the same for you?
Don't get discouraged and ask the tuff questions. Sure some will will say your being too hard on yourself or negative. However I'm not one of them... So ask away!
Your Pic isn't bad but hey a better one is always out there; so keep trying for something that pleases you. We all feel the same about our pics; so your not alone in that thought.
Be funny, Be serious, and be honest in your profile. Most improtantly be a MAN and make no apologies for it... It won't do you much good in the begining but in the end it will land you a woman that you want and one that wants you... Then the rest won't matter will they? They should have acted sooner or not been so picky. Just remeber it's their loss  | |
|
| Unattractive?
Posted: 11/12/2004 3:23:09 PM | WS6TA:
Thanks for the response and the advice. I'm happy to hear that you are doing better. That is good encouragement. Though, out of curiosity, what is it in your life now that makes you feel on the road to recovery?
You know, I've always been this way (on some level), but returning so strongly to these feelings has only occurred due to my ex-wife's infidelity and our subsequent divorce. I think its only bad so much right now because it was such a shock. But if I am not proactive about it, I could see it easily sliding into a bad habit.
Not having had to ask anyone out, or "date", or even try to catch someone's eye for 5-6 years, and a guy can get out of practice. I'm not even completely sure how to act on a date anymore. Well, I guess it is like they say--practice, practice, practice. | |
|
Home
login 