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GuruAl
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Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 27 | |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 2:49:26 AM | This works both ways, as the last relationship i was in the lady (?), led me on, gave me all the signs to go forward with the relationship, she started the sexy toucking up, encouraged me. Then after we had sex, despite always txting her undying love for me did NOT want to see meet me from Sept until Valentines day, when she told me that we were finished.
To add insult to injury, despite the fact that she led me on. I got accused of using her | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:52:39 AM | I don't understand why he is a jerk, or in the wrong, you both had sex, he is not interested you dont need a phone call to back that up ......
you both made a mistake, Men and women assume to much about each other
Your both equaly to blame and have both learnt something about yourselves.
You were not used, if he was using you he would keep coming back for more, and make up lies and excuses for as long as he could to keep getting sex, their are so many reasons why you havent heard from him and it is probably not all about you.
you dont know him and that is the problem, you just dont knwo enough abou thim to make the assumption.
Be in controll and stop being a victim, don't get into that situation so soon without setting the boundaries up loudly and clearly.
Live and learn, not live and blame | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 3:56:53 AM | | I have seen other posters blaming the OP because she chose to have sex with the man. Well, he also chose to have sex with her too, but you don't see her giving him the silent treatment because of it. Stop with the double standard. The guy is a jerk. Whether or not sex is involved is not the issue, the fact that the man took the coward's way out is the issue. Just disappearing on someone is cruel and heartless. I had a guy do that to me after meeting, no sex involved. I called him after I had not heard from him in several days just to confirm what I was feeling, and he told me it was the distance. If that was true, then he should have not bothered to contact me, or at least told me at the time we met face to face. He made some excuses which I could see through...I knew we would never talk again even though he asked me if I wanted to try to work around the distance. For some men, the distance we had between us would have been nothing. I knew I didn't want to see him again anyway...any person who would take the coward's way out is not the kind of person I would want to know. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:10:07 AM | Emotionally clingy people who have expectations from people they hardly know are scary, don't you sense the lack of chemistry, it kind of means if you contact someone like you you are now obligated and stuck to deal with the person and actually now have a debt to them.
You frighten them off with your attitude and neediness and expectations, most of us can work it out in the first five minutes, and I suppose you would consider it rude if someone got up and walked out after three minutes, but why do people have to waste the time, cant you accept that we are looking and want to keep looking , not all of us will settel for the person to contact us, and certainly dont want to feel obligated, or be put itn thepositon to have to be blunt with obvious emotional train wrecks | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:12:42 AM | | You wold be offended if he told yout he truth, and get offended when you get an excuse, the fact is the fact, not interested and the best way to deal with that is to not make any further contact, because this post proves their is no point, you dont get it..... | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:43:52 AM | I am so sorry to hear that you have been let down... Please track the thread of
"Do you think some people are meant to be alone?" MSG 196& MSG 198. And I hope you will find some thoughts useful... if not comforting.
And yes... unless both of you wanted physical gratification and not much else... it's best take time get to know one another.
* Sod the dhd, you know you deserve better! Kind regards | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 5:05:34 AM | | there was a man who advertize hes wear so everyone can see he was memt for then he cons so fast and as you see he wasnot the man for me he used my child to get to me he said he was my friend and then as soon as he could see the way away from me he took it as you can see he wanted no pArt of me when all he want was the sex and coned me to get it as gullable as me why did i fall why did i care as i thought he was the one for me he disrespected me he f me in front of the open door so everyone to see he said he was my friend and he wasnt to be he just used me like a dirty rage and when he was finished wiyh me he frew me away he could ben honet told the truth instead he lied to get to me it makes it when there are men on here like then it makes it hard for the the reast of the genuine one out there im not being spifull or mean im just telling the truth so if you want to be treated like that then go see whats its like yiou will soon wake up and see he is not ment for you and so beware out there to thee as theres a scammer waitintg to thee he profle name is L.T.P | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 5:21:15 AM | men and women use each other for sex ~ it works best that way
but as far as ~ Your Shared story ~ bummer Kitten ~
One can assume anything here ~ he's a jerk ~ he's married ~ he got all he wanted and don't want no more
He's lost his voice ~ he die ~ his wife found out ~
He became ill ~ he's in Jail ~ he's in the hospital
Watched Dr. Phil last night ~ this woman , for 32 months was scammed by a guy that was suppose to be in Iraq. ~ He was in Flordia all this time ~ milked her some 5 grand.
What can I tell you? ~~ women and men alike need to understand ~ you trust but validate . ~ that the way you should approach all aspect of your life.
When you let someone in ~ make damn sure it's your decision to do so.
There is few things more exciting the passion ~ you enjoy something the rest of us didn't ~ and now how are we suppose to feel about your adventure?
Life is given to each of us by the minute ~ I hope those few minutes of joy are not offset by the realitys of the next day.
and if they are ~ don't do that again. dar | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 5:46:49 AM | I cant believe all these OUTRAGED MORALISTS tearing strips off you !!!!
Like none of them have ever made a mistake & regretted it later................?????????
Even if he never wanted to see you again,he could've said "Thanks" to you,too.
It wouldn't have killed him, | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 5:56:58 AM | I totally understand why she felt like she did, sex or no sex, no-one should be treated like that. I have been on the receiving end of this and its not nice, a quick sorry but I just don't feel we are right would be nice and then the other person doesnt feel bad.
I wish men would wake up and not be so rude, and yeah maybe we should take some responsibility, but how many people meet someone in a pub/club and end up legless and sleeping with someone they havent even spoken to sober! Most people just won't admit that its happened.
I have now met someone from pof and had met and gone out for meals etc. 4 or 5 times before sleeping together, we are all adults on the site and to be honest when is the right time! | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:02:39 AM | Why should you be mad at him? You chose to change your policy about 'no one night stands' after a few kisses and him being a normal male was more than happy to comply with your new found enlightenment. You just expect something more from someone you had sex with whereas he treated it as casually as it appeared to be.
PS: Why would you state your policy in a phone call? It's the same as people that post a 'No Soliciting' sign on their front door. Most salesmen regard that as an easy mark that can't say no. Why didn't you insist on a few real dates before inviting him to your home? Meet men at restaurants, movies, parties etc drive yourself, do not drink more than one or two have some good conversation and become friends. Think safety and get to know someone before you bring them in. If you are really not into one night stands then don't set yourself up to be one. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:22:16 AM | Agreed! You said you didn't want anything serious. You invalidated your no one-nite stands by sleeping with him on the first date (actions speak MUCH louder than words). So he is totally blameless. You wanted casual; you gave him sex; end of story. He doesn't owe you anything. You're not in any kind of relationship. If anyone has a right to be mad, it's him because you lied. Apparently, you do want something more. Next time be honest, never meet a man in his home or yours, and if you want a callback, get to know the guy first.
Women get used because they allow men to use them. This is exactly what anyone who gives out sex on the first date should expect. If you get anything more, consider yourself lucky. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:39:45 AM | I'm always amused how many "I'm not looking for a one stand night" women end up having a one night stands. And it's always because "he said the right things and made all the right moves." They were powerless to resist! It's not their fault!
Ladies, there is nothing wrong with having a one night stand if that's what you want. But be prepared. The old "hump and run" is not an uncommon practice among some males (as I'm sure most of you are already aware).
And yes, after the fact it often seems unfathomable that a guy could be so cold and heartless. But some can. Life ain't a romance novel. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:38:05 AM |
starting ~OP~vixenette Wrote:Now i made it clear to him I wasn't looking for anything serious at this time. But i also made it clear that i wasn't into one nite stands. We agreed that our relationship wouldn't be either of those things./But totally ignoring you, like you were the scum of the earth. That is cruel and inhuman. Is it my fault for sleeping with him on the first date? Should have i expected such treatment because of it? Well not to be so blunt,but if you didn't use protection I would sugest going and getting tested for STD's. An it's totally mean of him not to respond back to your emails. As far as him never talking to you again? Well when he's feeling frisky he will get in touch with you. Unless you continue pressuring him. He will be giving you some sort of an excuse like he's been busy or some other lame excuses when he does contact you again. But rest asure. He figures your a for sure booty call so he will get in touch with you.Invite him over again.Don't give in to temptations.This will keep him coming back. This is not just a man thing.It's a people thing. Women these days are just as guilty as men.
This is the way I look at it. Would have been best not to have went any farther than kissing. Just would have made it better down the road at later meetings. Actually my long term relationships(7 & 11years) from my past went months without much more than kissing going on and wowser was it great for both of us when it finally did happen. Those that wait tend to become along term relationships and lots more than a tumble in the sack. Just remember,, most not all men are a cross bread between a dog and a pig. Women are like cats. They can live with or with out it. It's usually the womans choice.If she wants it she gets it.Unless she's not a bit attractive. Don't be so easy to get along with next time.Make them wait just for the simple fact of getting to know them better. The guy might have been with a half a dozen other women the weeks before he was with you. Sounds like he was a smooth operator to me. Sounds like you was pretty smooth too. You got what you wanted. He must have performed pretty good for you to be hurt or feeling jiped. What if he would not have floated your boat in the sack? Would you have emailed him the next day? I'm thinking not. Then it would have been him feeling cheated. Sex is always best when you wait till there's some kind of feelings for the other person. It's just cheap when it's with a stranger and only happening because you had a physical attraction for each other. A mental relationship is always best. But then if your mentally compatable with them and then add physical attraction with it then it gets wayyyyyyyyy steamy then. I prefer to wait till everythings right.. But I've been in your shoes. I'm sure there's lots of men and women in this posting alone thats had the same thing happen to them. I know it's certainly happend to me. But not on the first day.Well maybe a time or two years ago. Suks to be burnt like that. I feel for you. Learn from this. I know I did in the past.Makes ya feel cheap doesn't it? Is a one night stand worth it? I'm sure he feels a bit cheap too. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:48:11 AM | went on a date with a man awhile ago. Now i made it clear to him I wasn't looking for anything serious at this time. But i also made it clear that i wasn't into one nite stands."so u said nothing serious and u got that but then u say no 1 nite stands and u folded on that one,tad bit confused about what kind of a reputation u want to put out in this world?He agreed with u before hand to let u know he was not going to call if u gave him some.Guys will go as far as u let them and no matter the game piece the game is still the same.You seem to have a little more maturing to do mentally and prayer should be in with brushing ur teeth because it can help u to understand ur life a little better.Be respectful of urse;f hun and don't rush things. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:50:30 AM | so how did he use you for sex?..did you not participate willingly?
Did you not enjoy yourself??...(you thank him for a nice evening)
I bet you would feel differently if you hadnt slept withhim..I mean..It would still suck that he is ignoring you. Its just rude!
However....If you had left that night without falling into his bed..at least you would still have your dignity.
Live and learn. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:54:16 AM | Sucks, but when you say you're not into one night stands, you have to back that up with not having them...you sort of said one thing and did another, and you didn't get upset with him for trying after you told him you're not into it. Mixed signals there. If a guy storms off after I tell him no if I hardly know him I figure I dodged a bullet.
It's just better to know who you're dealing with before you sleep with someone - true, you may never know someone, but sleeping with them in less than 24 hours guarantees you'll know nothing.
This guy could be a total jerk to everyone he knows, but you can't avoid that type of guy if you don't know enough about him...in most cases, that's what it is.
I also suspect a lot of guys hate having a conversation with someone they don't want to date the day after sex because they think it leads women on. I've heard that a few times. I am sure he'll call or text again eventually - most likely when he's looking for more sex.
I wouldn't respond.
Never have sex with someone like that unless you're taking and he's giving, you're safe about it, you don't expect anything to come from it, and you set the terms. Set your boundaries and stick to them if you're not comfortable with it. Don't worry that someone won't like you if you don't sleep with them...that shouldn't be what it takes. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:55:09 AM | Yeah...
I'm assuming you freely cooperated otherwise it was rape.
Seems to me he's hardly to blame since you chose NOT to stick to your "moral code" of no one night stands. Given the opportunity for sex, men will take it. You offered the opportunity. He didn't drug you right?
You wanted nothing serious. You got that. I do not see where you can rightfully complain.
Sorry.
Lesson learned perhaps??? | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 48 | |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:55:38 AM |
...because having sex with a goat is illegal still!
IT IS? OH SH*T!! 
From what I see...the only "jerk" thing this guy did was not have the coconuts to talk to the OP afterwards, that was very cowardly. Doesn't sound like he lied/promised her the moon or anything to get her into bed....unless she left out those details. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:59:30 AM | | i'm not blaming 'men' . yes totally my fault for being stupid and thinking he'd still like me after sleeping with him. i control myself very well thank you. i'm not a dog in heat. i've never done that before and have learned my lesson to never do it again. i just can't understand why he couldn't be man enough to talk to me the next day and say i had a nice time with you but i don't want to pursue a relationship with you. i would have appreciated the honesty. anyway we used protection because i insisted on it. something i did right, i guess. but yes i am planning on getting tested because he most likely has done this before. even though he said he hadn't been active sexually for 6 months and didn't have any STD's. but obviously i can't trust what he says. | |
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jurupa
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Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 50 | |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 3/5/2008 11:01:46 AM | Why do men think they can use women for sex?
Because they let them. But I don't think its so one sided, because the female has to say "yes" to it so really the male is not using the female for sex as it is a mutual agreement. | |
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