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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:22:51 PM | and dear,, Way is it some Women, just like to find fault,, ... sorry that irks me too..
So please,, if I wanted my spelling or English grammar corrected,, I'd turn it in for a grade,,
if that male, knowing the female is too naive to recognize a one-night-stand intention, still goes after her even though it's obvious she's infatuated with him, that's just wrong.
Like I said a mature man would not do that...therefor if what you suggested was the case,, either the man is at or close to the same age as the girl,, (it's also my understanding women mature faster then men).. and each should still take responsibility for their actions,, If however the man is older and he seduced the girl that would be wrong.. Again,, some girls like older men,, and use what they have (assets) in a naive way, ( yet they certainly have a clue what they are doing) because it could be she is looking for what an established older man has,, boats, cars, money,, influence in the community,, etc etc.. then when she is dropped like a hot potato,, she feels used and scored,,
Lets face it,, men and women can make excuses for anything they want to.. just to feel good about them selves,, as for me,, I only clap at the pity party....There are real cases I'm sure,, but I think that is called rape..
As a side note,, when I was in my early twenties,, I spent a lot of time with Women in their late thirties and early forties,, should I say I was stupid, should I say I was seduced by the older woman,, or taken advantage of,, I think not,, even though I was not a mature man back then,, I still knew what I was doing.. as they did too...
Furthermore, I'd say it's lack of said experience that can lead to misunderstandings, rather than stupidity.
That may be true,, to some degree,, however,, Women in this day and age are exposed to many things,, their sexuality is at a level where they invite new experiences good or bad.. The sames hold the for men,, However once they experience life a little,, I would think in a short period of time, both men and Women,, know exactly what they are doing,, and their trump card is stupidity,, by suggesting the man used her,, | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:42:26 PM | | I personally think men hear the same rigamorow from women all the time. I think women want to be perceived as respected so they offer this information up front and too soon. I personally believe any man has the potential to be a one night stand or a long term man-- depending on the woman. I also think that it's part of their instinct to 'try' you out to figure which type of woman you are. You're the type who says what you mean and sticks to it-- or you're the type that says what you think sounds good and don't live up to it. I think it would have been better if you just said you were open because you like him instead of setting boundaries so soon. You don't have to talk to set boundaries. Not going to his house for a date is establishing who you are. You've heard the term "actions speak louder...". Well say little next time and act according to how you feel. He's not to blame that he's not interested. And the sex isn't either (I don't think). I think you messed up in your first impression. Dust yourself off babe. If you said what you weren't about-- then acted like that's exactly what you are about (or willing to go along with) what incentive does he have to keep investing to getting to know you for you? And here's a rhetorical question for you-- would you really feel secure in a man who keeps coming around after you had a fast first night encounter? | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:53:37 PM |
and dear,, Way is it some Women, just like to find fault,, ... sorry that irks me too.. no offense meant, my apologies .. I'm such a rogue about it, thanks for reminding me there are greater things in life.
Anyway you're correct; a mature man would not coldly take advantage but, that said, maturity and age are not always in sync. I had this happen to me some years ago and it really burns ~ and the scar goes deep. I'm a basically trusting person who wants to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I met one guy(read: one too many) who was out for his jollies and that's all he cared about. I met him at CHURCH, and he was a master charmer. My stupidity was in thinking if we were physical, it must mean something because I thought his faith was genuine and that he'd never mistreat someone on purpose. Mind you ~ he most likely didn't think he was doing anything wrong, and he as much as told me that I was to blame for thinking he liked me as more than a roll in the hay.
That R.I.T.H. didn't happen on some first date or anything. I'd already known him & spent time with him socially, so I was feeling fairly sure it was mutual. I didn't know very much about guys in general anyway ... had no boyfriends in school, etc, and had to learn everything the hard way.
Okay, this isn't a *whaaaaambulance* for me. I'm just relating this episode to make the point that just because a guy is older (mid-thirties) doesn't mean he's got the wisdom or character to merit confidence.
That said, a person absolutely must back up words with behaviour, and not blame someone else for the impressions created. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 5/24/2008 2:26:35 PM | Men and women use each other for sex.!!
It's not a one way street...
I would like to know why there are so many women that try to use a man for a free ride through life? | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:43:24 PM | | Perhaps because so many women allow themselves to be deceived into believing that it means more to him than it does. Face it, the guy was good, despicable perhaps but good, he played your heart strings like a master violinist plays a Statavarius and you were swept up in the moment. Where I think you might have made a mistake is by emailing him the next day to say how much you enjoyed the experience. Some guys, like myself might appreciate that and reply in kind only to receive the silent treatment from then on ... huh??? ... but other guys who are better at the game,will wait and the effect is obvious ... you're thinking about him and wondering what he thinks of you and it's making you crazy with desire and confusion and no amount of logic can defeat those yearnings for validation from one with whom you've shared what felt magical. A week or two later he'll call with excuses of how crazy everything got and how sorry he is and how much he wants to see you and of course you'll go running off to him because this is your chance to capture his heart or wreak your revenge but you'll just wind up broken and naked on the floor again listening to Alanis Morrisette music and cursing him in one breath while yearning for him in the next because he's exciting and romantic and unpredictable and challenging and infuriating but you love it you love the drama and he'll be able to get you to do anything to ease the pain of imminent heartache. He may not even be aware of what he is doing because it is a pattern of behaviour that what genetically acquired and environmentally inspired but it works for him as you are probably not the only woman in his life but even knowing that can be perversely exciting to you as you feel the need to compete to be the best. The best thing for you to do is to see someone else and try to ensure he knows it and be aloof he'll feel the need to be your only one. But that's all games and most people on here claim to dislike them even though most people play them, consciously or not, to some extent because they trigger the emotions of desire in the other person and isn't being desired what it's all about. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:17:23 PM | so sorry this happened to you. you have needs and you satisfied them. don't beat yourself up. forget about him, he's not worth even one tiny memory cell in your brain. purge him.
forgive yourself and learn from it. you'll be much wiser next time. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:47:51 AM | | First of all did he put a gun to your head and say have sex with me? And why is it ok for women to act like what they have is the holy grail? You brought that one on yourself sweety. There is this new word in the english language called "NO" Your an adult you have control over the choices you make and if you didnt want a relationship in the first place, why do you care? Some guys its like hanging a carrot in front of a horse. You should have sex because you want to not because your expecting something in return. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:47:57 AM | I agree with the "because women let men do it" standpoints.
I think time is an easy thing for many women to use to see if this guy is really into her, or really into "mastering" her.
Most of the time when I see the "playas" get girls into bed and these girls are pushing and struggling to get more out of this guy than just rolls in the hay, it screams out more at her self-esteem and how this guy can see it and use it to his advantage.
I personally don't care if I had to wait 10 dates before sleeping with a girl I really like, because, well, I really like her and I see her as worth waiting for. I think if I was just interested in sex, I wouldn't wait 10 dates.
BTW, I picked "10" as an arbitrary number. Feel free to select your own set of time that would determine how much this guy values you. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:02:41 PM | Op I am truly sorry this happened to you. There is absolutely no excuse to be rude or cruel. As a man I feel the guy is a pig and never considered again by you unless his reason for not at least calling was a major disaster like an accident or death. Unless you are unconcious you can make a 2 min phone call.
I replied to another post about "why there is so much men bashing". The answer in part lies here in your post. Because guys do crap like this and it does hurt.
If we all truly treated others like we want to be treated it would be a better place to live at large. I apologize to you for my gender. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:10:34 PM |
And just FYI
it's 'Stradivarious'
Actually, for the record, it is " Stradivarius "...
The violin's creator was Antonio Stradivari, however, Stradivarius is the usual correct spelling... | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:01:47 PM | I am a woman and want to give you my thoughts... I hope you are open ....
what happened was either one of two things.. he was looking for just sex..
OR
you told him you were not looking for anything serious at the time. But also made it clear that you were not into one nite stands. You agreed that your new relationship wouldn't be either of those things.
then you let him have you in bed...
so he may think you are not a woman of your word and you just say that to peek his interest in having his way with you.. cause the game for guys is winning (getting to the finish line) he won you with over with his charms and passion... he won you over and my advice is to be strong next time and don't kiss the guy on a first date and dates thereafter - only kiss him good-bye... he will think about you and you will increase his interest to come back again and again to get to know you. You can get to know him and see if you even want him in your life and then move closer in a more wonderful and faithful fashion.
I know it is hard but good guys want good girls... because if they can win you over easily - they think you are going to be like that with everyone - and then they don't feel special - they feel more special when they have to wait for it!
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:44:07 PM | if they can win you over easily - they think you are going to be like that with everyone - and then they don't feel special - they feel more special when they have to wait for it!
I'm not like this, and I don't know any guys like this. But then, I don't hang around with any insecure guys. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:50:51 PM | As per normal - the messages dry up from friday to sunday, so after reading a forum thread, I am changing my profile to read sexual encounters only, and will get back to you as to how many messages come back in a week.
Last week monday to friday 20 messages, so lets wait and see.  | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:16:29 PM | | Its not your fault but never sleep with a guy on the first date they never call back their jerks when you give in they get the idea well if its this easy with her lets try it with someone else their cold and heartless alot of the time.. but then there are good ones havent met on of those on here yet to actually have something with. but dont give up theres as many good ones on here as there are anywhere else. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:28:25 PM |
They are uncaring, unfeeling . men that have nothing better to do then use woman just for sex and they will die alone. and they are pigs
I wondering why, some women will not grow up and take some responsibility for what they do,, are your hormones so screwed up, that you can't say no to sex,, some woman act like their body is some sort of temple,,and we as men are so lucky to have you,, get a grip,, if women didn't like sex/ and want sex, you wouldn't do it... and if your doing it to capture a male or just to comply with a males desires/ needs,, them women are the fools then,, so you might as well quit complaining,, you need to step up and say no sex,, and stand by it... .....are you that easily manipulated by men,, I think not,,, women know what they are doing,, it's just the outcome some desire,,, doesn't happen the way you expected it,, therefore all men are pig,, look in the mirror.... | |
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scrufy
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Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 546 | |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:41:28 PM | above post is right on.And its just sex,thats all it is.Not a big deal.Just as a kiss is just a kiss.....sex is only sex.If a woman doesnt want it,she doesnt have to give it....... | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:45:08 PM | Forget what men think and be true to yourslef. You have the opportunity to stop and say no.
Now, hold your head up high and learn from the experience. You both were in that bed. It does not matter what he thinks but what you think. None of us are prefect nor do we always make the right decesion.
The best first date or until you get to know someone is to only be in a situtation where this does not or cannot happen. At your place, don't make the bed, don't shave your legs, don't be ready..... don't be at your home or his. Only girls will understand all this...(smile) See each other in a public place until you really know each other. Then what you do as adults will be up to you.
Ever happen again and he does not respond, it is his loss. Send a very light hearted note thanking him for the evening, not for sex. Or before you part ways make a date for coffee or a drink somewhere in the next couple of days. Then remember that you cannot control what anyone else does, only yourself. A jerk is a jerk all day.
Just learn from your mistakes and just keep moving forward. Stop looking back and judgeing yourself.
The other little thing..... remember you made a choice own it and love yourself. Don't beat yourself up. What's done is done. Just learn from it. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:06:58 PM |
They are uncaring, unfeeling . men that have nothing better to do then use woman just for sex and they will die alone. and they are pigs There is SOME truth in yet another blanket statement from you. Most of the time, it's likely that she just did something to turn him off. It's sickening how acceptable man-bashing has become in society. I'm sure if we put on a TV show where the woman was the bumbling idiot, it would be called sexist and a hate crime. But it's perfectly okay for some women to bash men, because they have been "oppressed" and "used" by men.
To quote your headline:
Sexy and Smart,What else could you ask 4
Well, you could be less of a ignorant, man-hating **** for starters LOL. It's plainly obvious why you are still single. | |
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