| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:50:02 PM | | I think men like that are predators. He probably did it to you and ten other women as well. When a man does that to a woman he is truly demeaning her. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:31:37 AM | larwilliams2, msg 554:
Well, you could be less of a ignorant, man-hating **** for starters LOL. It's plainly obvious why you are still single.
Seconded.
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:50:31 AM | Based on what you wrote I'm not convinced that he's doing anything out of malice. A few things do stand out to me.
The silent treatment sucks. I grew up in a home where the silent treatment was used to gain the upper hand and to manipulate situations. A lot of psychologists agree that the silent treatment is used to establish dominance in relationships. I think in this case the silent treatment is a reflection of how interested this guy was.
I don't know you beyond anything you wrote in the first post. But it sounds like you are not the no-strings-attached kind of person. That is by no means suggesting anything negative about your character. Many people have the ability to form meaningless relationships, I'd suggest that you don't. You are the kind of person who flourishes in meaningful relationships. That means the NSA stuff isn't for you. I think you've learned that now.
In defence of this guy, I don't think he used you, manipulated you, etc. He said he wasn't interested in anything serious right? For a lot of guys that means you will go your separate ways after the encounter. Sex on the first date more often than not suggests a one night stand type situation. Maybe he read things that way. Or maybe he said what he needed to in order to get what he wanted.
Write him off, because his intentions appear very clear. Learn from this. Casual encounters are not for you. Once again, that is not a negative statement towards you. You have the type of personality that is not capable of meaningless relationships. Personally, I think that is a good trait to have. Good luck to you. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:56:16 PM |
Its not your fault but never sleep with a guy on the first date they never call back
Someone posted dont' listen to men? OMG what a closeminded shewoman man hater.
IMHO it is half your fault; you chose this guy; people especially women, acting like you are this poor defenseless mindless person that had no choice, is making me sick. Character is what you do; not your intentions or what you say you are going to do.
Someone even said you did nothing wrong. Sorry, if you want to act without being responsible and respected, then dont blame men when you get disrespected. I personally would not have dated you because I would have wondered why you were so easy on the first date; no offense but that's what I would be saying. I'm not jumping in the sack with someone I just met. I'm sorry but women need to stop banding together and start being real. This isn't a war; and if it is for you then you need help.
Look at the posts on the forums: "he cheated with 5 women; I did nothing wrong; should I stay?; He only is nice when we have sex; does he love me or am I being mean?; He only comes around for money and sex; should I live with him?"
Its to the point of being ridiculous. And I dont apologize for men either. Singer said it right. I dont act that way so I dont need to apologize. But claiming victim when you chose poorly is so out of line. You are an adult; not a 14 year old girl. I'm sure you are a nice person, but you have to be careful. You dont want a relationship; you just want it to be casual. Well that is as casual as it gets. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:08:34 PM |
larwilliams2, msg 554:
Well, you could be less of a ignorant, man-hating **** for starters LOL. It's plainly obvious why you are still single.
Seconded. Thanks bro. I'm still waiting for the **** boys to come to her defense. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:08:12 PM | i dont get it either ive met lots of seemingly decent guys who thought they could hit it the first night..... geesh at least wait till the 3rd ...lol for some reason peoples hearts have grown cold people are afraid of havin feelings for others and everyone seems to be more excepting of this kinda coldness like its normal. should we all be robots? if all a man wants ill say a woman too is sex then maybe a prostitute would do more justice if all you want is sex nothing more then there are no strings attatched for sure. i say dont put out have more respect for yourself so someone else will respect you too. thats hard to do when you want sex too but if we be patient we will be less excepting of someone who isnt for us anyways .good luckfishing   | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:01:10 AM | If you allow yourself to be used, then why blame him? You didn't respect yourself by jumping into bed on a first date, even after you said you didn't do that. Mixed messages honey. Your not a victim, you made a choice. Yes it sucks he didn't call you back but if I were I guy, neither would I. Why? Because inspite of setting boundaries at first, you showed you had none by just hitting the bed so quick, you showed that you don't even take yourself seriously -why should he?
Dont beat yourself up, just take it as a learning experience. I was taught "You get treated the way you act". If I act like and easy lay I will get treated like an easy lay. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:32:34 PM | He didn't ignore you.
You just lack confidence.
I mean look at you. You're attractive.
Ever think that maybe. Just maybe something might have happened to him?
Men who use women for sex are desperate losers. And the best way to show a woman that you're not one is to never pull out your slab the first time you're in bed with her. Kiss her, caress her, lick her **** until she pops. But dont pull it out.
Then she'll know that you dont just want to use her as a tissue and she'll be your friend and sexual funbuddy forever.
I learned this lesson the hard way. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:49:01 AM | Some people, men and women do that. It's not big and its not clever but it happens. Move on and leave him to his life and you get on with yours. Mark it up to experience, not everyone you meet will be like that. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/7/2008 1:12:22 PM | I also think women and men want sex. The difference is women want the emotional connection immediately and men don't. If you have sex on a first date or a fourth date or
the 2oth date, you are not a slut. Do not be so hard on yourself, learn from it and move on.
You just have to have better judgment next time and keep your dates in public places. Houses and movie dates are a red flag for SEX. Do not put yourself in that type of situation.
I believe guys use the silent treatment and not answer their phones just to be in control. They should answer your questions after being intimate with you. Either it was good sex or
bad sex. Whatever the case, two people should talk afterwards. Be more selective next time
and you have the power to say no or yes if you want. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/7/2008 5:07:16 PM | | BECAUSE WE LET THEM. DO IT BACK TO THEM! Lately, I have been saying "men are good for only one thing' sex, then again, I can do that myself too". LOL | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:32:59 PM | Men want a challenge.
I would never invite a man to my home unless I'd been dating him for awhile. I've been burned and am "gun" shy (if you read my other post). And, I've been known to go for weeks or months without having sex.
Getting to know a man, if you are really into him, is so much more important then sex (although if the sex turns out bad I've got a problem). However, when I didn't jump into bed with a man they pursued me all the more.
I want someone to want me in every facet of the word. And, I want to be respected. I won't disappoint in bed; I just don't head there first. What's that saying, "I've got a brain for business and a body for sex." Or, as Jerry Hall put it, "be a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom."
So, take it slow and perhaps you can have more dates and really get to know the guy. Remember men think with two heads........ | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:11:43 PM | Suspend your concepts of men until you have finished reading this.
First of all, they are males first and later in life develope into men. So to understand their behaviour you have to understand them as males, not men. Typically most women do not understand the nature of males and worse they apply expectations to males that is consistent with female nature and when their male fails to act consistent with their female expectations then they try to feminize their male, often unknowingly. Males often do the same. Males don't "think" about sex. Sexual thoughts come into males' minds automatically on their own. Nature hardwired male sexual thoughts into their mental and physical programs so that it comes into their mind about 30 times a day every day 365 days per year 366 days in a leap year 24 hours a day, they even ejaculate in their sleep without being conscious it occurred. Women have menstruation that effects the frequency of their sexual thoughts and men have no like interruption. Males produce sperm constantly. Females are born with their eggs and begin in puberty to release an egg monthly. Males are compelled by their sex drive to move a female to have intercourse and females are unconsciously programmed to avoid pregnancy by just any male to father their offspring. I am just trying to give you a few biological differences that bring males to behave as they do.
However, as God's creation we are gifted with a higher reasoning capacity to insure for instance that our babies are born into a circumstance that gives them the highest survival rate which means 2 parents. This would normally have been a factor in a females decision to risk pregancy in pre-birth control era and they would have not participate in sex randomly with a male(s) except for those that are unhealthy mental-emotional-spiritually. Pre birth control women has a common reason to not be promiscous against their own female nature programing and sluts who did not care if they got pregnant were not competition for the healthy males then but birthcontrol
caused a level playing field and a male is susceptable to being manipulated by those females because they know that sex is frequently on the mind of males and if she offers him sex then his male nature takes over, as it was designed to do, and his nature will direct him towards the female that wants to have intercourse noowwww! Females that want to have a male in a permanent relationship to be the father for thier offspring are finding less and less males available to this end because birthcontrol allows the males
to be satisfied sexually without the responsibility of fatherhood which is financially and physically burdensome. I would do it again and again because I love my children
but with more and more adults being from divorced families, the males and females are scared of failing at parenthood as a result of their failed marriage. Females also are less and less willing to delay having their materialistic wants NOW as a result of having to financially support children. They are more and more waiting until they are heading towards 4o to have their first child, risking having a down syndrome child.
What you are living in is an artificial reality as current birthcontrol is artificial meaning that nature did not create these devices but Jews only have sex at a point in the females cycle monthly and from what i hear they appreciate it more because it's not like going to a fridge to get a sandwhich whenever you like to, instead their is anticipation and desire is built up over the month and they are excited to have sex
at that time that is best for that woman. Jim, AdvisorX | |
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Dia623
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Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 566 | |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:27:22 PM | I am sorry for your experience, I REALLY am hun...BUT let me also tell you WHY what you did pisses me off.....
I cannot begin to tell you how many dates I have been on this years where I SPECIFICALLY stated the "not looking for one night stand" and "sex is not in your immediate future with me"..yada yada yada....AND sure as SH!T...EVERY guy said that wasnt what they were looking for BUT they ALWAYS tried to get me into bed EVERY one of them!!!!!
I was about to give up on meeting a real gentleman! I kept thinking What the hell???? WHY dont they listen?! NOW I know why! Its because of women like you! They dont think we mean what we say!
Come on lady! You expect sympathy??? You had ONE date! YOU watched a movie and then BAM!!!! He has you in the sack?!
I know we all make mistakes but whatever happened to men being REAL men and women being REAL ladies????
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Dia623
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Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 568 | |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:01:33 PM | uhhh...yes...it sure as heck was, wasnt it?
And I guess after she talked to him about how she is "not into one night stands"........her judgement was clouded by....what? Gimme a break...     | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:16:56 PM | | the facts are women will lust for the aka bad boy this is not just men who do this it takes both. its selfish to think its just men who are at fault here. maybe men and women need to rethink how they date. to me it sould be friends first policy. what happen to old fashion morals. i think of one thing people are all dults here wake up smell the coffee. we conclude that the feeling of chemisty is really just lust and selfish feelings. this is why you see a lot of divorces and moms and das=ds single on here because they rushed it. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:53:30 PM | Dear LibreComoElViento:
I like the way you expressed your views here to make the girl who posted this question feel better, because it does happen. Sometimes it is hard to resist a very attractive man & put the brakes on when you want to "go for it" and you are totally into the guy. But, it disgusts me when the guy blows you off & ignores you & makes you feel badly. Sometimes they will continue to call & want to get together, but with time, you will see their true colors; many times it is still to "just hook up with you again, especially if the sex was good", so this type of guy is still a frigging coward! We live & learn the hard way sometimes; I am guilty as well. I have done the 1st date mistake before too. Don't beat yourself up for it; you're an attractive woman, as I am too, and life goes on. He's a coward, and only interested in sex. Move on to others, but we do need to remember to value ourselves & "get to know the man better as a person spending more time on dates/get togethers before giving into our sexual attraction to the man, no matter how hard they are too resist". So funny how he has the movies in his bedroom; I had a similar experience with a hot charmer who was all over me on the 1st date; I wouldn't be surprised if it is the same guy from POF!!!!!  Don't sweat it babe; he's not worthy of you or myself. Go slower, take your time & get to know them better no matter how cute & charming they are so you're not upset with yourself later. Take care pretty lady. Love yourself.  1Caligirl | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:31:45 PM | Dear PrairieChick2,
Sometimes it is hard to resist a very attractive man & put the brakes on when you want to "go for it" and you are totally into the guy. But, it disgusts me when the guy blows you off & ignores you & makes you feel badly. Sometimes they will continue to call & want to get together, but with time, you will see their true colors; many times it is still to "just hook up with you again, especially if the sex was good", so this type of guy is still a frigging coward! We live & learn the hard way sometimes; I am guilty as well. I have done the 1st date mistake before too. Don't beat yourself up for it; you're an attractive woman, as I am too, and life goes on. He's a coward, and only interested in sex. Move on to others, but we do need to remember to value ourselves & "get to know the man better as a person spending more time on dates/get togethers before giving into our sexual attraction to the man, no matter how hard they are too resist". So funny how he has the movies in his bedroom; I had a similar experience with a hot charmer who was all over me on the 1st date; I wouldn't be surprised if it is the same guy from POF!!!!! Don't sweat it babe; he's not worthy of you or myself. Go slower, take your time & get to know them better no matter how cute & charming they are so you're not upset with yourself later. Love yourself; respect yourself; don't rush it & don't take less than what you deserve & want! There's no rush for sex. If he pressures you, than you know what he's after; just sex. Take care pretty lady. 1Caligirl | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:21:28 AM |
Sometimes it is hard to resist a very attractive man & put the brakes on when you want to "go for it" and you are totally into the guy. But, it disgusts me when the guy blows you off & ignores you & makes you feel badly.
If you act as an one-night stand, why are you so disgusted if he treats you as an one night stand?
I had a similar experience with a hot charmer who was all over me on the 1st date; I wouldn't be surprised if it is the same guy from POF!!!!! Don't sweat it babe; he's not worthy of you or myself.
If she sleeps with the "unworthy", what makes you think she's worth of the "worthy"? | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:24:44 PM | beware of men with scripts on here. most of the badboys will write a intelegent script that stands out amongst the rest. this script might be anything from i wish i could find a way to get your attention away from the rest of those kats guys ect to get you look my way.
this how they do it and i know this beacuse im writing a book on players. No im not trying to sell it here. but im here to help woman out with these gut less sex pervs who only has one goal in life but to screw woman over for sex. they are male whores that should have a vigina. scumbags that are lower than the worms in the ground.
ok maybe im just going over board but its true. i know this being around them and how they are as a study for my book. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:29:36 PM | LawBug69, msg 566
BECAUSE WE LET THEM. DO IT BACK TO THEM! Lately, I have been saying "men are good for only one thing' sex, then again, I can do that myself too". LOL
Yea, cuz you should totally make your future boyfriends pay for all the nasty things your exes did to you  . Christ, some people should have been drowned at birth.
Tamara719, 568:
Men want a challenge.
Never in my life have I known a guy who actually wanted a "challenge" in dating. But yea, keep playing hard to get and wondering why you keep meeting users and liars = ). | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:56:27 PM | Why is this thread still open? Everyone's had their say. Give the woman a break. I'm sure in the same situation a lot of the people whoa re showing off in their avatars would do the same damn thing.
I honestly think, yes, you made a mistake, but if he was any kind of man, he would've not only brought up the agreement you both made, but stuck to it. The way I see if, you just found a bad guy. The point is you learned your lesson. End of story :) | |
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