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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:09:53 AM | You ask, "Why do men think they can use a woman for sex?"
Allow me to rephrase your question more rationally.
Why do SOME men think they can use women for sex?
Probably for about the same reason an equal number of women shrews think they can use a man for a money tree and to give them a nice nest(home) to snuggle up in. ....Self concern and a measure of sociopath in them both. (Sociopath is not a black and white behavior, it comes in many shades of grey. For a male oriented "BLACK" description see: http://www.sociopathic.net/rants/antisocial.htm & more info http://www.sociopathic.net/rants.htm (The Sociopathic Bible & Simple Overview of....)
I assure you as well that there are a significant number of women who use men for sex as well so don't try laying down the gender specific guilt trip. The sexual revolution happened some years ago now and set women free sexually if they want to be. Some people, women and men, take it as the norm now and recreational sex with someone they find somewhat attractive is as accepted by them as is loving romantic sex. Some other women and men, still seem to feel respectively, that sex is a bargaining chip for women to hold and control and alternately a right men can demand.
However, sweetheart, you played into that date. In your case it sounds like you have yourself to blame more than anyone. You are 32, have been through a marriage, you are not a naive virginal teenager. He didn't rape you, it was consensual. Don't expect me or anyone else to believe that you didn't do it at all because you weren't enjoying it and he must have certainly picked up on your responses from kissing etc. to push it all the way.
Telling him as you say that you weren't, "looking for anything serious", and "making it clear that you were not into one night stands" is not exactly the same as saying you, "don't ever have lustful sex on a first date or not until later when it's discovered you love each other". If that was all you told him, it still leaves the door open for non-serious/casual sex, with the pretense as you seem to have assumed yourself, that it would maybe lead to more dates and love. Be more definate next time, choose your words more carefully and live up to what you say. Your behavior/response must have been consensual as he agressed you and would have given him every reason to assume you told a white lie and have casual sex with men and you perhaps assumed it was blossoming love. Don't make assumptions, they are very often wrong.
Also there is a pervading perception that any woman with any self respect and even some of the most free and easy women will most frequently want to portray themselves as virtuous and intimate that they do not have sex on the first date etc., yet many of them will with the right man who arrouses them enough. It is as if to be saying, "I don't usually do this but you're, ....different,..special, ...overpowering, etc." A man doesn't often know if a woman "does" or "doesn't" by what she says until she physically "does" or "doesn't". You yourself said, "don't", but you, "did", ....case closed!
Why didn't he call you back? ....Maybe enter a bit sociopathic behavior. Maybe you were too easy and he lost respect for you? Maybe you weren't that good in bed in HIS opinion? Maybe he was less interested in, "anything serious", than even you claimed to be and getting your email the next day maybe caused him to assume you got serious overnight so he ran rather than discuss it.(Men are not always great 'discussers' about these things and tend to avoid such discussions). Did you sign your email, LOVE, (Your name) or with a bunch of sweet emoticons? Stuff like that can make a not so serious guy back off.
Only he could tell you for sure. .....Give it some thought.  | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:07:31 PM | | I dunno I am a guy, but I don't need sex. Bc I learned about how to control myself at an early age with my brain other guys know nothing about themselves. The more you study the more you learn. I can literally talk inside my head to give myself a headache if I wanted to. Or put myself into a state of depression for fun. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:31:16 AM | Vix,
Unfortunately you'll just have to chalk this up to a "life lesson", I know this sounds harsh. It's a situation (hopefully) you will have grow from, and (I am not putting you down) you deserve to express emotion over (no one wants to admit hurt) .Yes, there are men out there that just thrive on the conquest, and don't look back. It was a "no strings attached" situation, you take responsibility for your actions (you were an active participant), there was no (desire to have) relationship..it was just an encounter
(been there, done that, got hurt, learned something about myself and am still able to see the sun rise on a new day..).
Hugs Sweetheart | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:12:57 PM | | Get used to the idea that most men will pretend to be soooooo nice just to get laid. But it does not mean that they are nice. It is a WINNING GAME. There is no fault on your part - do not blame yourself for that. If you thought all the time how to make it right with a guy - you would go nuts. Think this way:" I made love to a nice and gentle man, even though it was just one time." | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:22:15 PM | You answered your own questions really chickie..we are all human..and capable of making mistakes.
Take it as a lesson learned and go from there. Chances are you'll probably make that mistake again..but we are human. He'll probably contact you out of the blue again at some point..what are you going to do??? | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:48:30 PM |
I have said it before and I will keep saying SOME MEN ARE FREAKING PIGS
Hmmmmm,, I would think those same men,, are in bed with the same,, just a thought,, it does take two,, to play in the slop,,,,,,,,,, | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:23:38 PM | | IMHO Unless you say no (which is considered rape and a whole nother topic) it is consenting and therefore you had sex with him as much as he did with you | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:35:03 PM | really there are only two easy steps in finding out if the guy you just met will dump you or not.
1.sleep with him immediately
2.don't sleep with him immediately.
either way,if sex is all he's interested in,he will be gone .it's just that number 2 hurts you less AND let's you keep your self respect.
most men will not fall in love with you because you put out in the first few dates,but for some reason we girls start out pretty young subconsciously believing one might. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:25:25 PM | | Men use woman for sex because its easy for them to get away with it. Guys like that have no guilt and seem to only think about getting themselves off. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:48:35 PM | | life goes on...amd you need to as well. it happened. he didn't call. oh well. he's the one losing out. you deserve better. and trust me, you will find it. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:49:52 PM |
Men use woman for sex because its easy for them to get away with it.
Just another statement that amazes me,, women in my opinion are not that stupid,, yet you suggest they are,,
Guys like that have no guilt and seem to only think about getting themselves off.
again,, what is there to be guilty about,, it takes a man and a woman to have sex,, if she has sex with a man,, why in the world would she feel guilty,, unless she failed, thinking she could seduce a man with sex,, for her own benefit, with a motive in mind, yet she may have failed,, therefore,, guilt, will come in to play,, so lets just blame men,, | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:48:06 PM | I know exactly how u feel darlin! This is how I handle that stituation......I NEVER EVER meet a man at his home....PERIOD! Make it public.....make it where there is no chance in hell u would be even TEMPTED to make that move. I put it out there from the get go that there will be NO SEX on the first date. If they can't or don't want to except that? Then they aren't worth the time of day. Some think that its ok these days to jump from one bed to the next. Men or woman!
I have made up my own set of standards for dating and if someone doesn't want to except these? Then I won't even go on a first date. Sex is not just for the purpose of pleasure....>I think that this world has changed so much about sex? They forget what sex is about.....Ok, now I'm probably going to get my butt chewed for this but I'm going to say it......Men think with the wrong head! lol I've actually had a man tell me to my face that "U know? We have to sleep together on the first date.....just to see if we're compatiable!" R U KIDDING ME???? SERIOUSLY???? I also tell men that I won't sleep with them until I'M READY and not one minute sooner. If they still want a date? Fantastic! If not? Oh well.....move on girl......it's not something to hang onto......There r still some gentlemen in this world.....
HE'S OUT THERE WAITING FOR U : | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:16:59 PM | You chose to sleep with him, so it is something you both decided to do.
I do not know how SOME men can be so "cold." I find it annoying...
Apparently you are not a very good judge of character.
I just had to ask this question......Have u ever met a coniving man that knows how to "play the game"? Then u have not a clue what she had to deal with.....PFFTTT!
Until the day u walk in a womans shoes? U have no RIGHT to judge her or know what the situation consisted of. Men with ur charming smiles.....ur words u use to "make ur moves"......ITS PATHETIC! It's all about the player......they learn how to play it well and run amuck on every woman they can!
U contradicted urself.....u find it horrible how men treat woman but then u turn it around on her....blaming her judgement! ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It makes a woman wonder ALOT whether or not to even get involved with men anymore....U wonder why we live with toys then having to deal with this BS!
"NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING SERIOUS" = Been burnt enough to know better now.....protect ur heart!
"NOT INTO ONE NIGHT STANDS" = IS EXACTLY THAT!
Woman have needs just as much as men do but men (NOT ALL) think that it's ok to take advantage of the situation and make the moves ....then move on to the next victim. I feel bad for the good guys out there......This is what u have to deal with in the dating world today....Players that burn woman and the men that deal with picking up the pieces.....
IT'S A DOG E DOG WORLD OUT THERE. | |
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| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:24:08 PM | | Not all men use woman. What happened is what both of you decided to do, but he should have still called you or emailed you. What he did was wrong. The sad part is that both men and women do that. I saw one night at a bar where it was a ladies stagg. At the end of the night I saw the bride to be walking out of the bar with a guy. The maid of honur was telling the bride she could not do that, and the bride to be said to her I am not married yet so I can have one last fling. The hard part is you can never tell what someone else will say or do. All you can do is keep your head up and remember there are good people out there. Also dont restrict your self to your area. Your best friend and lover may not live just around the block or even city. | |
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