|
|
|
|
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/10/2008 1:19:49 PM | Men use woman for sex and vice versa because the other person lets them do it. A woman is lonely, meets up with a guy, they flirt, then they have sex. He likes it because he gets off, and she likes it because a really good looking guy pays attention to her. So he keeps coming back. She sees a possible relationship, and he sees an easy lay. His ego gets stroked among other things.
I hate how some woman try and make it seem like they're victimized after they have sex with a guy on the first date and then he never calls her again. If you let a stranger see you naked and have sex with you the first time you meet him then he will have ZERO respect for you as a woman. It's sad but true. I've had guys leave and not talk to me etc because I DIDN'T have sex with them on a first or second date. If a guy doesn't want to wait, then he is not worth my time. But I did make mistakes by sleeping with guys on the first date. But I learned quickly that I didn't want guys thinking of me as an easy lay. I wanted their respect. So I wised up and got with the program.
As long as there are guys and gals with low self esteem there will ALWAYS be players [male and female] willing to use them to have cheap sex. | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/10/2008 1:38:17 PM | I have to give my head a shake and reach for the vodka and OJ when I read threads like this one, " why do men think they can use women for sex?" give me a break, excuse me doesn't it take TWO to have sex ??
Dont blame the guy for what he is? if you didn't want to have sex you shouldn't of had sex, its nice and simple , no body wants to take responsibility for their own actions anymore its easier to blame the other person? the problem here is staring at you in the mirror
You cant blame the guy for giving you a peanut butter sandwich when you wanted a steak sandwich and only hinted you wanted a steak sandwich can you? | |
|
| |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/10/2008 3:26:10 PM |
Don't jump into bed with men on the first date
I have to wonder about this whole "jumping in bed" thing. I thought that I'd tried just about everything, at least once, but this "jumping" in bed is apparently a new variant, that I've never experienced. I dunno, but I'd prefer to be having sex, rather than jumping, but that's just me. | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/10/2008 3:30:31 PM |
Don't jump into bed with men on the first date and you won't have that problem
So making them wait until the second date will insure that they will fall in love with a women and devote their life to them?
Sorry - I'm being a smart aleck, but how do some women thinking that the longer a man has to wait, the more guarantees a woman has that a man won't disappoint them? A man can still be a neanderthal after he's slept with a woman even if she knew him before that. A woman should be able to choose what she feels and not be blamed for the man's actions. She didn't cause him to be a jerk - he did that, and she has the right to question his behavior. | |
|
| |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/10/2008 7:32:05 PM | ..... because it is circumstances like this that make them KNOW they can!! .. why wouldn't they??? ... move on, just make better choices next time and keep your legs closed, honey, unless you are looking for the same thing which WOULD be your perogative ... it is a free country, but men see two types of women, and two types only.  | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 5:26:57 AM |
It is hard enough to find someone to connect with without having to sift through the rubble caused by people treating each other poorly.
What a beautiful line.
Sorry that happened to you. You don't "deserve" to be ignored because you "gave it up" or whatever. I'm so tired of sex being some prize women are supposed to withhold and men are supposed to try to get at. How can we ever just enjoy sex with someone we love when it's this tool for leverage, a prize, a bad thing that hurts us, something that makes us tramps, etc, etc. I find it worse the people saying you deserve what you got for having sex. We are all sexual creatures. We are not all a$$holes who can't even talk to someone the next day though or who judge other people for doing something natural and beautiful. | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 6:38:12 AM | my theory is.....
people can only do to you what you allow them to do!
men are from mars woman are from venus...jus because you had a 'talk' about what you wanted for YOUR life... and he seemed to agree... doesnt mean you were on the same page.
Perhaps you should of stopped at the kissing on the couch? | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 9:20:04 AM | If u sleep on the first date a man thinks u just lookin for sex same as he is. so no need to reply. he thinks u just hard up is all, wait till second date at least.
MEN GIVE LOVE TO GET SEX,
WOMEN GIVE SEX TO GET LOVE. | |
|
| |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 11:06:59 AM |
He likes it because he gets off, and she likes it because a really good looking guy pays attention to her.
HUH??? They changed the freakin rules AGAIN??? I thought women were allowed to get off ,too! What the hell is this noise about really good looking guys and attention? Where does that leave the average or plain looking guys? They don't get to have sex anymore?
If you let a stranger see you naked and have sex with you the first time you meet him then he will have ZERO respect for you as a woman.
again, HUH???? What if I leave part of my clothes ON? WTF??
Look, gals. Have sex when you choose to do so because it would be enjoyable, and or meaningful for you. Any consequences of careless sex are going to fall squarely on YOU to deal with,so govern yourself accordingly. But keep in mind that the question of when to have sex is a freaking minefield for women, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't...so make it count for something besides the hope that a guy will pay attention to you,or that he'll call you again.
DON'T WHINE.
Cindy O | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 11:15:10 AM |
Men use woman for sex and vice versa because the other person lets them do it. A woman is lonely, meets up with a guy, they flirt, then they have sex. He likes it because he gets off, and she likes it because a really good looking guy pays attention to her. So he keeps coming back. She sees a possible relationship, and he sees an easy lay. His ego gets stroked among other things.
Perhaps at 23, this pov makes some sense. However, the point is, that women "get off" too, and the older a woman gets, the more likely that she wants sex for its own sake, although there is still a cultural norm that she "should" pretend otherwise. It's also true, in my experience, that the concept of "easy lay" is amusing for more mature people. Despite what seems appropriate in the fora, the whole concept of sex being hard to find is not consistent with my experience post divorce.
The premise of this thread is rooted in what's true for people in high school, where boys want sex with almost any woman who "lets" him, and girls are "supposed" to play hard to get, until she thinks a boy is sincerely in love. People, post divorce, in their 30s.40s,50s, and 60s who view two people getting together, and meeting each other's sexual need, haven't been "used" if it doesn't lead to "happily ever after". In fact, most mature adults, at some point or another, will have experienced "friends with benefits" without any expectation that it's a great love. | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 11:37:37 AM | | you get what you paid for, You reap what you sow. U allow someone to walk all over you, they'll do it, you allow someone to piss on you they'll do it. Stop making excuses and be responsible for yourself and TELL others the way you want to be treated and if they don't give a damn kick they're asses out the door along with there baggage. | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 12:19:54 PM | Well, to answer the title of thread precisely, uhh, what's the alternative?
Frankly, I am astounded when I hear of experiences like yours. I'm approaching 60, but in your position, I would probably have done the same thing, and had the very same reactions. Overreactions. Many would emerge from that event with the "I'll never do that again!" attitude.
Regrettable as your experience with this guy has been, and rueful as you understably may feel, the important thing is to learn from that experience, and realize that learning is an evolving process, always unfinished (so that you are open to new experiences).
Their is much talent involved in "sizing up" another human. No formal training is available, and you have to pick it up on the fly, IRL.
Seems to me that you invested alot of feelings into this experience (sex is always richer because of it), and you got sold short. Your partner evidently invested little, and walked away thinking that he had profited, at your expense. It is, imo, a mistake for either of you to take that lesson from that experience.
When my daughter was 17, she was dating a very quiet boy who she met in a church group outing. When we had a chance to talk, my daughter and I, the subject of sex just came up. She blurted out that she and the boy had discussed it, and decided that they would wait for marriage before engaging in sex. My answer was that I thought that was probably a mistake, and in any event, not the path I had chosen. I encouraged her to experience sex prior to marriage, certainly with a potential spouse, but with others as well. I told she should learn what bad sex was, and analyse it fully, so that she would then recognize good sex, or preferably great sex, when it happened. I also added that the age of 34, from everything I had learned from my own experience, and had learned and observed from others, is an itchy age. Too many seemed, right about at that point, to be overcome by curiosity about sex with a particularly tantalizing non-spouse might be like. I really believed that I was best protecting my daughter by encouraging her to deplete her curiosity before marriage, rather than after. I still do.
She's married now, to a guy I really like, and they are each 31. I have great hopes for them. | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/11/2008 1:20:51 PM | | I can totally sympathize with this. I have met a few guys off of POF and they all seem to be the same. I was married for 6 years and when I began this dating thing, I had no idea what I was doing. The first guy I met was in my house less than 5 minutes and he had his hands all over me. I did sleep with him, but I felt very pressured to. Then, he couldn't get out of the house fast enough. Never heard from him again. Then, I met a couple other men from here and I thought that they were really great but the minute I slept with them, they avoided me and when I did contact them, they gave me some lame ass excuses. I will never sleep with someone on a first date again. Its not worth it to my self esteem. Some men are just pigs and I think that part of this whole dating thing is to weed out the good ones....if there are any. Good Luck Ladies!!! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/12/2008 6:26:46 PM | Happened to me as well once. I met a guy off here actually, been on not many dates and I vowed no sleeping with anyone. Went out and it happened after a really great date. We got on so well and I trusted him entirely. I didnt regret what I did cos it was natural at the time and felt like it meant something. Following day he dropped me home saying we'd go out that night and that was it. No call , text nothing just silence. I actually thought something bad had happened to him (niavely) and I only reaslised it hadn't when I came on here and he was online and I was calling his mobile and one minute it was ringing then he turned it off on me and I could tell. I didnt know what the hell was going on and even on line he said it wasnt him when I imd him he said it was his mate it was all very bizzare and this was a guy in his 40s!
I text him and said I know where abouts you live, I bet your married and you better hope you never ever see me out to which I did then get a text, sorry got a lot of problems maybe one day we'll see eachother and sort it out?! I was devasted. Really. I felt I was to blame for this situation, I was a slapper but I wasnt. I genuinly thought we had something and it really knocked my confidence big time with guys to this day.
At the end of the day we do as we please. You did. He did though but you feel you were honest and he wasnt. Chances are hes married or he did like the sex but cos of it you blotted your copy book with him. Only tonight I spoke to a guy on here on the phone who said if he slept with a girl on the first night he'd never see her again. Never mind the fact he'd do it too eh? lol
I wouldnt beat yourself up over it. It happens to the best of us! | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:55:23 PM | | Because there are so many women out there that have poor self-esteem and equate sex with being loved. The guys hit-it-& quit-it, and the ladies are left wondering why it didn't work out when all they knew of each other was a first name........ (just the bird's eye view from a bartender, though).... | |
|
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 12/13/2008 1:13:09 PM |
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Because the standards women have set over the years have allowed me to think this way. I agree, women equate love with sex and attention. Unfortunately it is not what love is and that why society is the way it is. Men are men too and need to have some self respect as well... don’t get me wrong.
Men need to learn to appreciate women and women need to learn to respect themselves enough to demanded to be respected by guys. | |
|
| |
| why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 1/28/2009 11:54:14 AM | | Yes I do often wonder about the women who are telling other women to "keep their legs closed" - how many times have they opened their own? ....and how many failed relationships have they had due to using sex as a bargaining tool? ......or perhaps they have never really enjoyed sex or had an orgasm before? So the OP is never supposed to have sex with anyone ever again? I mean the OP seems far from being slutty and her only crime was being a little too trusting and being confused by the guy's behavior afterwards. It's not like she was the Who re of Babylon. | |
|
| |
|
| Page 38 of 40
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 |
|
Home
login 
