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 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 51
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
This age thing is getting redundant. Its either the older lady asking why men prefer younger women, or a older dude wondering the same thing. There are about 10+ threads going on about basically the same topic. Age is just a number the only reason its wrong if it is underage. Unless they are the same age being underage together. I don't agree with anyone wanting a underage girl/guy. I personally want a woman, now I've said it before it is possible for a 18-25 guy/girl to be mature so why not go after them too. The 18 year old is only 13 years younger than me. There is no difference in a man wanting a 18 year old at 30's than a woman wanting the same thing in a man. What about these posts in which a mid to late 40's woman wanting a young stud in his 20's thats almost double there age. How is that not wrong too. I've always heard that girls mature faster than guys so in that regard wouldn't the older woman be worse than the older guy because the younger guy is more likely to be immature than the younger girl.

This is just for argument sake not necessarily my personal opinion. So please no bashing. Thank you.
 Miss Eyre
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 52
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:24:30 PM
A forty year old woman, going after a boy of eighteen is just as bad in my opinion. There are no special exemptions in this, although typically younger men are only wanting older women for sex, not all, but most,.. so the predatory instinct is still there, but in reverse. Most young men are not wanting an older woman as the love of their lives, so in that respect, older women going after younger men will get what they deserve too.
But saying that a 30 year old man can 'go after' an 18 year old, if she is mature is just a nonsensical statement, because, theres no such thing as a mature 18 year old. they might think they are, but they're not. An eighteen year old will fall in love, or infatuation easily,.. they will be hurt, no doubt about it.. and if the 30 year old is particularly foolish, they may fall in love too, and will be nursing a broken heart when said eighteen year old realises that there is more to life, and skips off into the wide blue yonder.
No eighteen year old can possibly understand what they are giving away when they try to compete on the playing field of a thirty something. Its literally candy from a baby. Hell, I'm 38 and I am still amazed at how sneaky some older people can be, and how manipulative they are,.. its so unfair for an older, jaded person to dump all their bad learned behaviours onto a young un.. it really is.
As a woman, I am tempted by the youth and vitality and enthusiasm, the unspoiled fun factor of young men... but I know that its such an uneven playing field,.. and I dont want to be the person who gives a young man his first heartache, or disappointment.. neither do I want to be someones mommy substitute., or teacher. Leave young people to play in their own fields,.. and dont think for one minute, that you can recapture your youth or attractiveness or vitality, by stealing theirs. Miss Eyre.
 AaronohAaron
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 53
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do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:35:02 PM
Miss Eyre my first post, post 15 has my stance on this subject.
 Miss Eyre
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 54
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:48:54 PM
To AaronOhAaron,
Yes Sir, your first post was duly noted by me,.. I understand your postion on this subject, my disagreement with you was on your misreading of my first post. I am particularly careful on these threads never to say 'all men' this,.. or 'all men' that.
What I do find disturbing, apart from the fact that some men are willing to be predatory and go after young girls, is the fact that as a theme, running through this whole thread, women are either being catagorised as young, and therefore sexually inexperienced, therefore not so good,.. or older,.. and more sexually experienced, therefore, good or bad according to the tastes of that particular man. Its the emphasis on sex and a womans performance and experience that I also find rather distasteful on this thread. This is what I meant by this thread being an example of most men thinking of women in purely sexual terms. Looking at this thread, it hasnt really done most of the men credit, with only a few exceptions.
Its easy to see what is uppermost in some of the mens mind on this thread when they think of women,.. for all of the denials and protestations we see in other threads, from men who say that they are not just about sex, we seem to have a lot of evidence to the contrary on this one thread alone. Miss Eyre.
 rune3
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 55
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:10:38 PM
I am reminded of something the comedian Dylan Moran said about males being born with one finger up their nose and the other hand on their****and basically, he said, they just get bigger -- whilst women have this intense sequence of physical changes/stages to go through and their lives are like an opera with the masks constantly dropping to the floor "who am I? I don't know...". Could it be true that some men just don't mature mentally or emotionally beyond about 17?

The thing about men is that they really are rather more straightforward than women for the most part. I'm a relatively rational and logical woman yet my emotions still do tend to rush at me in tangled waves at times. And I do find myself changing as I get older in ways that are way beyond reason. In my 30's, although not a mother I have begun to develop the near overwhelming emotions and instincts that I associated with being one. The two people in my real-life world with whom I feel most in tune, are men: the most sensitive and thoughtful men I have ever met, in fact. And can I say with any certainty that they would feel more attracted to women their age than women who were significantly younger, all other things being equal? -- I cannot. And I know of other sensitive, intelligent men who will still look at a 17yr old and instinctively see an attractive woman, not a child. Just think of Buffy the vampire slayer...

It doesn't work like this for me: I tend to see anyone who is much younger than me as a child and I am likely to have all these warm protective motherly feelings towards them and the idea of seeing them as a viable partner is just unthinkable for me: it's totally against instinct. I am not close to many other women so I don't know how common this instinct is, but I suspect it is quite common.

I think that we are more primitive than we imagine and that many of our instincts are very unsophisticated and are also easily influenced. It is not only men who hold up the 17yr old form as an ideal of attractiveness -- women are always trying to look younger, slimmer... many women would much rather that theirs was the body of a 17yr old than the body of a 30yr old or 40yr old and I don't believe that this is solely the fault of men being more attracted to that.

In primitive times, at 17 or even younger, a woman would have been considered sexually mature. Beyond this, if she was still available, there would be some good reason for it (poor health, bad temper) because it was such a strong imperative to form partnerships and to breed. Women sought the strongest male partner to protect and provide for their children and men sought the most fertile female partner (women are most fertile between the ages of 20 and 24, so forming a partnership with a woman over 24 would mean that you missed her most fertile years). This programming is very basic and I think we are deluding ourselves if we imagine that we are too sophisticated for it to exist within us simply because we are no-longer mere monkeys, but monkeys with internet access.

It is very clear that women in general prefer taller men and the reason given is very often that it makes them feel "protected". How primitive is this? How unfair on the shorter man whose heart could be 20 times as passionate and protective? It is very clear that men appreciate curves -- curves, not obesity. Fertility is associated with curves, infertility with obesity. Never mind that the man might be 45 and have chosen to have a vasectomy because he doesn't want children: his idea of what is attractive is guided by instinct.

The media, advertising and film industry reinforces these primitive instincts. Romantic heroines like Bridget Jones are pretty rare: more often it's some doe-eyed waif of about 15-19yrs old. The new trend for the fashion industry is employing teenage unknowns who play a "virginal" role and are then dropped after one season to be replaced with another anonymous schoolgirl. The fashion industry is directed largely by gay men but it still infiltrates our culture and can distort our ideas of what is attractive through conditioning over our lifetimes.

I don't think it is wise to deny the primitive drives that exist within our primitive selves or the effect that conditioning has upon us even whilst we exist in a more technologically advanced society. When my partner puts his arms around me I do enjoy the fact that his arms are strong, not little bony arms like mine. I do enjoy it when he sometimes behaves protectively towards me. These are the instincts of a human female and I recognise them as such because I accept that part of myself. My instincts towards young people are to regard them as children who may need my protection and that is an instinct that I also choose to embrace. These are not rational instincts: rationality tells me that it is prejudiced of me to view a man of say, 25, as a child and to not be able to consider him as a partner -- and my ability to reason would enable me to challenge and override my instinct if I chose. I simple choose not to because I see no good reason to.

This is where the line is, in my opinion. We are a mixture of primitive drives and conditioning overlaid with a limited ability to reason and it is within our power to challenge some of our instincts and to drop those which we consider to be too primitive to be ruled by. Our power of choice is limited by our susceptibility to the media, our level of reflectiveness and our desire to make sense of things and learn rather than rage at the world for not falling in line with our instincts.

How much people choose to challenge their primitive instincts and how successful they are in doing so is a very individual thing. I know men who determinedly refer to the 17-19yr olds as children as if to constantly remind themselves, and partners who were significantly older than me were actually quite uncomfortable about the age difference when they were reminded of it -- it was just that they never thought of it. Maybe, inside our heads we don't grow up unless we have to and women undergo more physical and biological changes that force them to accept that they are not 17 anymore, whereas some men may remain 17 inside their heads until the day they die.

I don't think that it is right to be disgusted by the primitive instinctive attraction of men to youth. Part of who we are as humans includes this primitive level of instincts. I do think it is fair to be disgusted by those men who allow this instinct to override their reason and integrity when those higher thought processes clash with the lower one.
 ubkobalt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 56
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:16:25 PM
Rune shows her beauty again. Although, I'm trying to remember if I've ever seen her picture or not.

I for one abandon the world of lies and politeness, for one that is true and honest. I abandon the socially imposed emotional manipulation, the one where you should feel bad if your ideas don't make others happy. If I wanted those things in my life, I'd go to church.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 57
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:17:44 PM
Rune3---that was the best most educated post thus far I commend you. You are exactly right. Thank you.
 Remote Control
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 58
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:51:24 PM
I've always looked at those guys who like to date younger women...well considerably younger women, as guys with a lack in self-confidence, or even worse they are pre-mature ejaculators. Therefore, they want to be with a girl who is 17, 18, 19, 20, because they think that their own lack of ability in bed will compensate for a girl's knowledge of pleasure at that age. This "feel" you are talking about is not necessarily age related. Some women do certain excersizes, the name escapes me right now, that help with the "tightness".

Furthermore, I think alot of guys view younger women as a conquest...they are intimidated by older women. I'm with a woman who is 9 years my senior and it is great most of the time. Sexually, she knows what she likes so I don't have to muddle around with "the move" like Jerry does to figure things out. Its great.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 59
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do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:09:31 AM
Great post, rune.

I think it really doesn't make any difference what my opinion is. I've been on the forums for over 10 months now, and one thing that I've noticed, is that:

When men asked about dating an older woman, the general response was that he was just looking for sex from an older woman and to learn.
When men asked about dating a younger woman, the general response was that he was just looking for sex and someone to manipulate.

When women asked about dating an older man, the half the response was that older men were not worth it, and the other half was to go for it.
When women asked about dating a younger man, the almost unanimous response was to go for it.

Now, I'm not quoting definite stats here, so don't hold me to it. But it convinced me that whatever the situation, men are generally criticised for dating, as they are interested sex and selfish reasons, and women are generally encouraged to date whoever they want, but recommended to go for younger men, for whatever reason.
Please note that this made no difference who did the initiating.
I'd also go on to say I've seen a similar attitude when it came to the issue of marriage proposals, that when a woman posted that she was turned down for marriage by her long-term boyfriend, many women said to dump him. I cannot see anyone saying that about a man posting that he was turned down for marriage by his long-term girlfriend.

So I don't really think if makes much of a difference who is younger, or older, just that if you're a man you're always in the wrong, and if you're a woman you're always in the right, but that younger men are generally better.

I'd also like to say that as a man, I have strong protective instincts, but these days, I am treated as though I must be looking to take advantage of a woman of whatever age, so my protective instinct are usually denied me, and because of "use it or lose it", it that means that my protective instincts don't kick in in the same way as rune's does.

I don't deny that there are many men who prefer very young women for sex, because so many women of that age are easy to persuade to have sex with at that age, and then never see again. But most of those men seem to be the sort of men who would never bother with the forums or asking women's opinions anyway.

As for me, I'd like to meet someone who is attractive to me and "on the same page" as me. But where am I going to find a woman who is my age, still roughly in shape, no kids yet but still wants some, not dated much, refuses one-night-stands no matter how hot or charming the guy is, yet still turns heads when she smiles, still willing to help most people, most people like her as a person, gets told that she'd make a good wife and mother all the time, likes to discuss science, Math, politics and religion, as well as art, literature and the theatre, likes to go out sometimes, and stay in sometimes, and still does new things and is growing all the time, and is still aware that she suffers from at least 1/10th the number of faults that I do?

Most women my age are divorced with kids, and if not, they've had quite a few relationships, and are just not on the same place in life I am. They seem to be more interested in a part-time b/f, for sex, and maybe commitment, but love is hardly ever mentioned. Conversations revolve around shopping, going out, the mortgage, sex, and the kids, not Hawking's latest theory, or the most effective method of criminal rehabilitation. So I usually just listen and take an interest and never talk about my interests.

The sad thing is, that when I have found women who talked about my interests, it was a 16-year-old, or women in their 50s, who would see me as a toyboy.

I'm still trying to get used to the idea of dating someone who seems to be more interested in sex than in love.
 AdrianEsquire
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 60
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:07:17 AM
Women the age of 17 were considered old maids not so very long ago. Before modern medicine extended life spans, marriage at 14 or so was commonplace and children by 16 or 17. You need to read some history.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 61
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do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:28:55 AM

we are no-longer mere monkeys, but monkeys with internet access.


Best quote of the day...BY FAR! Now where did I put my banana?

Rune, that was an incredibly insightful and spot-on post. You have articulated the TRUTH in such an eloquent way that I must just applaud you.

Now for MsEyre, I would highly recommend that you read Rune's post, probably more than once. In general, men prefer younger women. It just IS. There is really no reason to get upset over that fact although I find many women our age do. It is just a fact of life. Young men want sex. Middle-aged men want sex. Older men want sex. And once again, in general, they ALL find young women more physically attractive and therefore more desireable. It just IS that way.

Also, trust me, I feel your pain. At my age I have to work damn hard to maintain myself so that I can possibly be attractive to a woman. God how I wish it were as easy as it was when I was 20 but it's just not. What I can't do is blame women who look at younger men as physically desireble because it's not "fair" or somehow judge them as being wrong.

What I find interesting as I read through this thread is the lack of younger women chiming in about feeling "objectified" or "disgusted" etc. Many can claim that it's because they are either ignorant or naive but to me, that is a fairly arrogant approach. My guess is that either they're not present or they simply don't feel that way. Everyone likes to feel desired whether it's for one person's "right" reasons or not. You will occassionally hear a young person make a half-hearted complaint about an old person hitting on them but the truth is that even that is somewhat flattering.

You ever notice how nobody cares about the rules/officiating of a sporting event until the rules/officiating starts going against their team? Well once you get to about 35 the physical rules/officiating of the game of life almost always start to go against you. You can't hate the players; you just have to figure out a way to personally accept the game. The good news is that the wisdom rules of life start to swing in your favor but in the end most everyone would still like to occasionally jump from the free-throw line for a windmill slam-dunk.
 rune3
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 62
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:50:29 AM
Thanks for the applause, but I think one point may have been overlooked: we can examine our primitive drives and our conditioning and make a choice as to whether to accept that as something that should be guiding us, or whether in fact it may be misleading us.

In my final lines I said that I don't think that it is right to be disgusted by the primitive instinctive attraction of men to youth. Part of who we are as humans includes this primitive level of instincts. However, I do think it is fair to be disgusted by those men who allow this instinct to override their reason and integrity when those higher thought processes clash with the lower one.

Don't jump to assuming that Miss Eyre and I are putting such different perspectives. I believe she has simply suggested that your integrity and reason *should* override this primitive drive and that you should be above it: something a little more evolved than a monkey.

I often notice people getting in their own way with perceived desires that seem to mislead them from what they truly desire. I think we all do it, perhaps because we can only guess at what will make us happy and don't know for sure until we experience things. Those who persist in pursuing certain characteristics or features without examining the true root of their desire - chasing youth without acknowledging that the instinctive attraction towards youth is based in ideas of fertility that may actually clash with their true priorities are likely to remain unhappily alone.

Those who cannot find anyone would be wise, in my opinion, to spare a little time to examine their preferences and the root of each.

Some primitive instincts need examining and laying aside or adapting, as they are not relevant in today's world in their primitive form. If the root desire is to feel that your partner could protect you then there are more sane indicators to consider than height -- attitude being the main one. When you realise what it means that you are searching for a particular, apparently superficial characteristic, you have the opportunity to challenge that, to think: "does that fact that he is tall really mean he is a better protector: no, so that is a stupid thing to want, I now understand what drove me to want it and I can now leave behind this childish thing...". I use height because it's such a simple cliché. And because my special someone was afraid I'd not consider him cos he's not so tall as me (heart goes cold at the thought).

Why must she share all your interests? I wanted to be with another mathematician because I wanted to feel understood and connected with my partner, to be intellectually and emotionally intimate. This "root" was what I needed to be aware of, not my idea of how this might manifest. The idea of how it might manifest was a red herring -- my first boyfriend was a mathematician but I feel much more intellectually and emotionally intimate with my non-mathematician partner.

Why must she live near you? What's the root of that? Fear of too much change or loss of control? Do you honestly see yourself as so average and ordinary that just anyone is going to truly be able to appreciate you? What if you considered for a moment that you are actually far from ordinary, that you stand out as being someone different and special and that yes, you may need to travel around the world, as I did, to find someone who actually matches you.

Why must she be attractive in the eyes of others? What's the root of that? Do you not trust your own judgement enough to dare to love a woman in whom you could see beauty even though those around her would shun her -- probably for not fitting in. You don't fit in yourself, so why do you want a woman who does?

Why must her experience of life match yours? Is it the feeling that you cannot be on the same page without matching experiences? I think this is untrue. I led a very sheltered life with loving parents and a secure environment whilst my special someone experienced the polar opposite in his life -- yet we are demonstrably in harmony, on the same page, with very similar beliefs and outlooks. We can stand in each others shoes and feel that we would have chosen/acted the same if our situations had been reversed. Experience is not what puts us on the same page.

I am not saying that all desires are superficial and should be set aside -- but that it is worth finding the true root of each desire associated with something you are searching for -- in life or in a partner. Acknowledge the want that lies at the root of the superficial ideal and I think you'll become much more free and able to find what will actually make you happy rather than getting tangled with restrictions that are not reflections of what is in your heart. Don't just be led blindly by instincts that could be out of tune with reality...
 AdrianEsquire
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 63
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:58:15 AM
Remote Control -- "I've always looked at those guys who like to date younger women...well considerably younger women, as guys with a lack in self-confidence, or even worse they are pre-mature ejaculators."

Hardly the case. Some younger women don't want older men, and it takes quite a bit of self-confidence and charm to overcome their initial reluctance.
 Miss Eyre
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 64
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:58:48 AM
To textodd,
You presume to have me all worked out Sir, you presume to know my motivations for writing these posts. You presume incorrectly. I understand the current rules of the 'game'.
I also understand what Rune so eloquently explained. men, AND women can be attracted to younger people,.. but what Rune3 also explained was that some of us, are trying to overcome those instincts. I do always read Runes posts very carefully textodd, as I have always found Rune to be a very wise and very smart lady. Rune is one of the very few people that I do listen to, very carefully.
I personally feel those types of instincts to be morally reprehensible,.. I also admitted to feeling attracted to younger men in my posts,.. but know that younger men are not people I should be trying to pursue, because emotionally they are way behind me on the maturity scale. I try to do no harm in this world. I do not selfishly give in to those instincts which I feel to be potentially emotionally harmful to the recipient.
I am not an older woman who feels pushed out of the game because of my age. I am not in competition,.. in fact, as the 'game' stands at the moment.. I have disqualified myself. I have no wish to participate. I have not been married, divorced, or had children,.. I have not been hurt, or jaded,.. I have not even been in a serious relationship. I do not feel used, or abused, I have not been around the block, and I certainly am not envious of younger, more innocent or hard bodied girls. In fact, without revealing too much of my personal life on this Forum, I would say, apart from my age,.. my naiviete is rather intact, due to a sheltered and protected upbringing,.. so I have no axe to grind from the point of feeling inadequate to younger girls. I am in the same position as they are, apart from my age.
I am not jealous of the attention younger girls get from men,.. as I am not in the 'game'.
I just wanted to clarify that my posts are from a point of view that is unaffected by my own personal feeling.. I am trying to protect younger women from predatory men.. and I am calling out those men who seem to think that because their instincts drive them towards younger women, that this somehow justifies them trying to 'get' one. Miss Eyre.
 Heathenistic
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 65
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 8:00:36 AM
They definitely weren't grown like they are today when I was a kid. Doesn't matter - I'll take a woman. I see the girls of today, and I'd say 25 or younger I still look at as children. Since I was 18, every relationship I've been in has been 30+ with the exception of two women. Most of them older than me. I want experience and I want the person I'm with to know who they are and be comfortable with that. You don't find it in <25 y/o's.

I suppose some guys like the young girls because it makes them feel better about being old. Hell, I don't know - I don't really get it. ~shrugs~ 30's + for me.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 66
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do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 8:35:41 AM

I personally feel those types of instincts to be morally reprehensible,.. I also admitted to feeling attracted to younger men in my posts

At least you admit to being a judgemental person.



I am trying to protect younger women from predatory men.

OK. You seem to have already concluded that all men who prefer younger women and choose to act on that preference are somehow predators... uh OK. This despite the fact that many of these women are perfectly capable of making their own decisions and have chosen to participate. I want to qualify everything by saying that I am not advocating anything regarding 17 year-olds and personally don't think 18-21 year olds are probably making sound judgements themselves, but they are making those judgements themselves and have every right to do so. It is not my place to judge them

I recently (2006) dated a lovely 22 year-old and we had a great time but ultimately I found what many have stated; we didn't really have much in common. While it was fun I probably wouldn't do it again and I'll be damned if I'll allow ANYONE to try and label me as a predator simply because she was 16 years younger than me. She was very attractive to me but she was the one who pursued ME and I reciprocated her advances but she knew exactly what she was doing.

I respect your honesty but I can honestly say that any discourse on this subject with you will be fruitless because you feel that you are basing your judgement on some set of morally superior principals. That's the problem with religion and morals; people tend to think in absolutes. Therefore, I will have to simply agree to disagree with you.
 Miss Eyre
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 67
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 8:50:33 AM
To textodd..
Quoting me on saying that I find this instincts to be morally wrong,.. and then using my words to try and imply that I'm being hypocritical is unbecoming.
I make no apologies for being judgemental,.. and at least, I admit to the same failings as others,.. believe me,.. I judge myself just as harshly as I do others.
You may have had 'fun' with your younger companion,.. and Oh what a surprise, you're no longer with her.. so, it took you to get into a relationship with her, sleep with her, spend time with her, before you realised you had nothing in common eh? Hmm,,, not a lot of forethought there, was there, textodd,.. still,.. you had 'fun'.. and thats all that matters eh? I'm sure she knew 'exactly what she was doing',.. yeah right.. I wonder if I could speak to her, wether she feels the time spent with you was 'just fun'.. and wether she was able to just walk away from it all, emotions intact. I wonder.
Yes, people who think in a moral way are rather rigid in their thought processess, I cant speak for religious people, as I'm not particularly religious,.. but it must be very annoying for you to find that some people will call others out on their selfish behaviour. tut tut, all these judgemental people, trying to stop people from having 'fun'.. what is the world coming to. Miss Eyre.
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 68
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do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 9:29:01 AM

You may have had 'fun' with your younger companion,.. and Oh what a surprise, you're no longer with her.. so, it took you to get into a relationship with her, sleep with her, spend time with her, before you realised you had nothing in common eh? Hmm,,, not a lot of forethought there, was there, textodd,.. still,.. you had 'fun'.. and thats all that matters eh? I'm sure she knew 'exactly what she was doing',.. yeah right.. I wonder if I could speak to her, wether she feels the time spent with you was 'just fun'.. and wether she was able to just walk away from it all, emotions intact. I wonder.

I think you're just projecting, perhaps from how you personally were at that age. I know that when I was 22, I was already two years into a relationship that would last for another 23 years, was two years into my career, and had a VERY firm grasp on my emotions. If I'd been single, I could well imagine having had a "fun" relationship with an older man - and yes, fun would have included sex. And since I was the one who found older men attractive, and would likely have done the pursuing since men are legitimately gun-shy about expressing their interest for fear of being considered pervs, I guess by that logic I would have been the "predator."

Here's what I believe: there are some natural born predators out there (the nasty, criminal types), and there are also some people who are born "prey." That doesn't change with age. Many of us are neither. It was impossible for me - at any age - to have been prey, "used" or abused (again, not counting attacks from true criminals).

Some people will never believe that, but it doesn't make it any less true.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 69
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do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 10:14:37 AM
Miss Eyre, I'm sorry but you continue to sound incredibly bitter. Are you sure you're not projecting? Are you sure you're really judging yourself as harshly as you do others? It doesn't sound like it from your posts. Anyway, at what point did I imply hypocrisy?

I'm no longer with any of the women I have been with in my life except my current SO who I love dearly and have been with for 1-1/2 years. Some of my partners have been older, some younger and guess what, I had fun with the older ones too but I sure as heck didn't go into any othe relationships to "use" anyone, yet you imply I did. You have no intimate knowledge of the individual situations. That's just wrong.

Anyway, thanks again for judging me. I find that to be THE most "unbecoming" trait a person can possess.
 HEALING WITH THE ANGELS
Joined: 11/13/2007
Msg: 70
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 10:41:15 AM
lETS SEE THE real question here,women fancy,want to sleep with younger men,to butter up there vain egos that there still wanted,WRONG

men who want to sleep with gorgeous young women an who fancy? them you get jealous an hate it we blokes dont want to sleep with women our age, one up to the men
 Cort1295
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 71
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:34:39 PM
Eh? I'm 21 and I can only think of one 17 year old I know that I'd even be remotely interested in, and I wouldn't date her because she is below 18...
 AdrianEsquire
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 72
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:37:00 PM
Miss Eyre -- "I personally feel those types of instincts to be morally reprehensible,.."

This sort of comment does not even deserve reply.
 pandabollocks3000
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 73
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:47:08 PM
I doubt that any man does not find an attractive, happy, fun seeking teenage girl sexually alluring. It's nature. May not be the law in some states, but it's nature.
 WonkaBar
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 74
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:51:03 PM
I just want to clarify, since we're getting into the topic of pedophilia, that my comments in no way indicated that I would actually date a seventeen-year-old. Age of consent or no, she's still a minor. 18 is iffy... I'd probably do the ol' "half your age plus seven" thing if I really had to put a number on it. But to be honest, I think the OP is offering an exaggeratedly loaded question - most of us are discussing the appeal of "younger" women, which is what she implies, but what she actually *says* is "17 year old girl", which is a not-so-subtle slam at men who like younger women, implying pedophilia.

It's like how all overweight women have "Curves" and all thinner women are "Barbie". All younger women are "children" and all older women are "mature", and never the twain shall meet.

I don't think any man here, who is in favor of dating younger, is actually interested in children in a pedophilic way.

But that's just me. My current girlfriend is 33. Youngest I ever dated was 17 (I was 21) and recently, 25 (when I was 34).


I am trying to protect younger women from predatory men.


The thing is, it's not your responsibility to protect other people from themselves. This applies not just to dating, but to all aspects of life, really... the government (oy) says that minors cannot legally be trusted to make their own decisions, hence anyone who's still a child in the eyes of the law is not allowed to do so. (Whether or not some people are every truly ready to do that is a matter of psychological debate.) Following that train of thought, what if I analyzed your actions and decided you weren't mature enough to do something you wanted to do? What right do I really have to make you not do that? All I can do is say "hey, you probably don't want to do that", but the decision is still entirely yours. To borrow an old adage, you can lead a horse to water...

My point is, eventually you have to turn the reins over to the individual in question and let them live their own life, regardless of the decisions they make. If these decisions turn out to be mistakes, then they can, and will be made. And in some cases, *have* to be made - otherwise, we do not grow, or mature, as individuals.

WB
 Miss Eyre
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 75
do men in their 20's and 30's prefer 17 year old girls better than older women?
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:02:03 PM
Adrian Esquire said 'Some younger women dont want older men,.. it takes quite a bit of self confidence and charm to overcome their initial reluctance'
Well, that sounds quite predatory to me. if a young woman is showing reluctance, why would you push the case? if not to fulfill your own selfish agenda. Obviously Adrian Esquire, you have no reply to my moral objections, because morality in this case, is something you seem to have no comprehension of.
It seems to me that this boils down to wether a person believes or even cares that a seventeen, eighteen, nineteen year old person is as emotionally mature as their bodies are. If you look at a mature body, and think that that is all that needs to be taken into account,.. and provided that grown up body is above legal age,.. then you will have no qualms about trying to engage that person in a sexual relationship,.. if, on the other hand, you see young people of that age as being emotionally and mentally still half children,.. with bodies that are grown before their emotional maturity,.. and if you CARE not to be a method of hurting them emotionally,.. then you wont want to go there.
Young adults will of course enter the world of sexual relationships at some point.. I just feel that its better to leave them to start their journeys with people of their own age, or there abouts,.. on a level playing field. I have often heard people use a saying... 'Act your age' or 'pick on someone your own size'.. I think these sayings apply rather well to this subject. Miss Eyre.
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