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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:15:24 AM |
Doesn't make sense to me. They hate paying child support, complain about it, count the days til a kid turns 18, then consider starting a new family with the new wife. WTH?
and then suggest that since they "may" be starting a new family they won't be able to pay child support to the first because they will have a family to support. I'm speechless by this suggestion.. and speechless that a man would even consider doing this.
Talk about starting over.. LOL.. Guess they figure new wife, new kids.. It will ALL work out. No doubt. LOL
Men, please answer truthfully and honestly. This isn't about my situation but one I recently heard of. It could happen to me, the ex remarried last year.. Just flabbergasted that anyone would consciously put themselves back into this situation.
I don't know how a man can father a child, not stick around to be in a relationship with the child's mother, not pay child support, and then do it all over again with the next woman, and the next, and so on. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:40:51 AM | Q: I don't know how a man can father a child, not stick around to be in a relationship with the child's mother, not pay child support, and then do it all over again with the next woman, and the next, and so on.
A: I don't support this kind of behavior, but there are lots of reasons for a males to do this. One reason sex, lots of sex with lots of different women, what man does not like that? Well what real man, I know there are some that don't, but not the kind of guy you want to hang with on a saturday night. Smart men wrap the package when doing this, so they do not contract STDs and because of this no children all over. The bigger reason for the no condom guys is simple Darwinian evolution. If your not going to provide a stable environment to bring up your kids in (or all your kids) the best way to insure your genetic line is passed on and continues is to have lots of kids all around. Thanks to modern travel men can have there genetic line spread around the world all most insuring the genetic line will get passed on. Some men do both; the stable home family and children to unwed mothers spread around the globe. Females can not do this so it might be hard to comprehend, but if you look at it from an evolutionary stand point to insure the genetic line is passed on, it is logical. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:35:01 AM | Going along with freetimes concept although I doubt that ensuring the bloodline is the conscience thought. Let's face it the really attractive folks out there tend to get more than the average looking ones. So it is reasonable that the men that are doing this are the ones that women tend to chase after. I won't say alpha male in this forun because not many are willing to believe is scientific fact and surely someone will no doubt refute this theory with I slept with an ugly guy story or I knew the ugly guy who got all the girls bs story.
So in reality it is women who will allow this to occur. I have a nephew who is a father to three different kids with three different women and let me tell you his current SO is too keen on this but was it enough to not marry him - no. She avoids building any kind of relationship with the other ones when it is his weekend to have them but she really has no reason to BIATCH about it.
If you decide to involve yourself with a man who is this type and you are aware of it and still proceed, you really hace no rights to say much of anything.
Taking the other side, I know I got married to have a family but seeing as how that went so great I will never spawn again. Been there, tried that and have sold that t-shirt in my last garage sale. No wait I don't own a garage anymore. Lawn sale and not even my lawn belongs to the building. Isn't life great? | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:04:35 AM | Well, I can only speak to my situation.
I have no problem paying child support, if any of it went to support my child. BUT... where I am barely making it myself,
My ex, (who is remarried by the way and now has a two income household), but works under the table so I can't even prove she has any income at all... (but it's easily as much to twice as much as I make.)
In the meantime, I pay 100% of the child care expenses, I have my daughter more than she does, I pay for all her clothes, all her activities, give her spending money, and pretty much am the caretaker. I GET ZERO HELP WITH ANYTHING FROM MY EX... ZERO!!!
Since I am the one paying for every expense associated with this child, why in the hell should I also be paying my ex-wife "child support." This is not child support. It's adult support. And what I've been supporting are her excesses and her vices, while the money that I would otherwise have to do special things with my daughter goes to her to spend on those excesses, and those vices.
Why would I resent taking my daughter for the weekend while I finance her weekend trip to Vegas with another man?! (Especially where I can no longer afford to take a vacation!) I'm not going to dwell on it, but it sucks.
Who ever told you that life is always fair, lied through his or her teeth! It ain't. Deal with it. Deadbeat dads suck, but so do deadbeat/freeloading moms. And unfortunately, there are a lot of both out there.
So, let me think, if I did find someone, and start a new relationship, and we did finally get to the point where we wanted a family situation... I can't even consider having that until my "other" children turn 18, and my "child support" obligation is over, cuz my support obligation would go down, and you don't want to take less money from me?!
Men should give up all hope of ever having a normal family life, or normal relationship with another woman until their other children are grown?! (Unless of course, they are very, very wealthy.) Is that how it works?!
Does that work both ways? If a woman were to meet another man, fall in love, and want to start a family, and your ex-husband came along and said "No. You can't have that baby cuz our older children aren't grown and out of the house yet..."
What choice words would you have for him?!
Basically, after a divorce, you have to meet your responsibilities, but you also have to get on with your life. And a healthy, loving adult relationship sometimes results in more children, and tighter budgets.
And you just learn to deal with it! | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:43:58 PM | Going along with freetimes concept although I doubt that ensuring the bloodline is the conscience thought. Let's face it the really attractive folks out there tend to get more than the average looking ones. So it is reasonable that the men that are doing this are the ones that women tend to chase after. I won't say alpha male in this forun because not many are willing to believe is scientific fact and surely someone will no doubt refute this theory with I slept with an ugly guy story or I knew the ugly guy who got all the girls bs story.
So in reality it is women who will allow this to occur.
This is absolutely true. For some reason, somewhere along the way women gave up the gatekeeper role. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:25:12 PM | | I guess I'm lucky... My children's father is FANTASTIC!! He would never start a new family and abandon our kids. He loves our kids dearly, and couldn't imagine life without them. Neither of us understand "men" that can walk away from their kids. Whether they have more kids or not... | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 3:41:26 PM | | What's even worse is the men who claim they cannot afford child support, then take lavish vacations. My friend has a daughter and the girl's dad doesn't pay child support for her, yet takes care of his other kids. He claims he doesn't have money to pay my friend child support, but then he posted pics on his Myspace of a nice little vacation he took to Disneyland recently. I commented and asked him how he has money to go to Disneyland but not help support his daughter. He deleted his Myspace after that. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:11:01 PM | nicol3y,
Did you read this entire article? Do you agree with all of it?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/463940/penalties_for_not_paying_child_support.html?cat=17
Statistics show that 75% of children who grew up with only one parent, have children who only grow up with one parent. We need to put a stop to it now or noone ever will. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:07:50 PM |
What's even worse is the men who claim they cannot afford child support, then take lavish vacations.
Nah, what's even worse is an ex who can afford to do a $20,000+ reno on her house, afford to quit her job and still hold her hand out for CS from her ex.... who happens to be me....
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:40:09 PM |
Nah, what's even worse is an ex who can afford to do a $20,000+ reno on her house, afford to quit her job and still hold her hand out for CS from her ex.... who happens to be me....
That is true. I think if I was in that situation I wouldn't have child support court orderd..I'd just let him pay whatever he wanted, or just ask him for help buying things for the kids instead of a check every month. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:46:55 AM | "It's a sad truth that many men run away from their children"
Do you have any reports or statistics to backup this claim.
The truth is that the courts have long held in Canada for men is that if you can't use the excuse of a second family in order to stop paying for your first family. The rulings make it clear that if you can't afford it, don't start or have a second family even if they are simply step children.
What does this mean for men. For myself, I can't afford a second family (especially if the relationship does not workout), so while my ex is free get married while myself, can't afford because I know that if the relationship didn't work out, that paying child support to a second family would be ruinous to my finances and have an effect on the standard of living for my daughter. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:08:45 PM | Saw this topic, love it and just have to post because this screams my name.
Lets see. Got married, tried to have the perfect little picture perfect life. Wife is college educated, on path to being a lawyer (or so she says) and does music very well on the side. I have just my good ole noggin and a high school education but 15 or so years of IT experience, so I can hold a job. Wife tells me she doesnt have to work, i have to pay mortgage, car notes, insurance, etc.. you know the bills. There is domestic violence in the house. But wait get this, she is the one trying to beat the hell out of me. I stand 6'6" and 300+ lbs and she is 5'9" and 185lbs or so. Why do/did i let her? Because she would scream, throw stuff, cut herself and when the cops would get there, guess who would be asked to leave the house. Thank goodness they caught her in the act.
So in any case, i decided to leave to show my kids what a non-violent household is. Seperate, move out, get my own place, she is forced to live with her mom. I dont care. She has no real income, i still dont care. I lost jobs, houses, health and years of my life because of her. So she does what any other woman angry or not would do. File for child support. I get upset because i went from a great income to living on almost nothing and was homeless for a few months while still working. I deserved it, no biggy. OK,a little time passes, i refuse to go back to her, meet someone else, and get (wife now) pregnant. ex is complaining that the $1,300/mo support she was getting wasnt enough to pay her bills.
She has a degree, can get a decent job, chose to move to an apartment that was $1,200/mo and then ask for more from me to pay the rest of her bills. IN the same apartment complex she had the choice of a 2 bedroom apartment for $900 or 2 bedroom Townhouse for $1,200. Same size places, btw. She demands I am responsible for her well being, i am responsible for 100% of all costs of the kids, her car, etc. Funny thing is, the judge said no to any alimony because of length we were married and because of her potential to make more money than me, but she refused to work.
So back to the topic, with my girlfriend I was living with now, we thought it would be a) funny b) vendictive c) nice to raise a family with 2 parents. So we wound up having 3 more kids (4 total) together. Now I still pay my child support and have only missed payments because of being out of work for a month or two here and there. But when women like my ex REFUSE to allow me to see or spend time with my kids because I wont give her more money, or because i left a black woman for a white woman (you heard me, its documented with the courts), she would refuse to let me see the kids. She made death threats to me, new wife and kids, so i moved out of state. About 6 hour drive from her and the kids. I try and call the kids and have to hear her mouth for hours or she blows up my cell phone. Finally got a restraining order on her. And now she will let me see the kids when she feels like it, but i have to come all the way back to where she is?? Thats BS. she wont let the kids stay overnight with me, because she knows i would enjoy that too much. she wont meet me 1/2 way. Were talking violation of court orders left and right. How about recording her when I am on the phone talking to her and she yells at the kids and slanders me.
Oh yeah, these women are great. Not all of them, but i sure picked a winner. So when i hear about a woman complaining about a man with child support, i think back to all the damn women who are nothing more than money hungry or vindictive and not looking at the kids best interest. One of my sons flunked out of school on purpose because he wanted to live with me. Your liek what? His mom told him that if he keeps misbehaving she would send him to live with me. So he kicked the teacher, didnt do his homework, is disrespectful to his mom and sister. Then he says, OK, you need to send me to live with my dad and I will be better. She tells me, "oh i just told him that to scare him into acting correct".
I firmly believe a child deserves to see and know both of their parents. Regardless of the other parents disapproval or dislike. Just because the parents cant get along, doesnt mean you horde the kids from them. And btw there is Joint physical and joint legal custody. Case is out of California (lol they barely know what fathers rights are), and it takes money to get there, money to file paperwork, and loss of money from leaving work to go spend a day or more in court.
If I could convince my wife now, i would ask her to put a child support order on me, which will modify my ex's child support order and make her payments even smaller. I could be a total ass and work under a different social, i could work under the table, i could move out of state/country to places where they wont bother with child support, but i dont. The money is supposed to be for my kids. Which btw goes to fund her hopes of being a musician. My kids clothes are messed up, torn or ragged. they need shoes, school supplies, but mommy can be gone all the time and out with friends or trying to hookup with new people. Then tell me the kids need this and find out, she wont even buy the stuff anyway. I send the kids clothes, they dont wear them. I send them a computer for school, she sold it. I send them a cell phone I pay for so they can call me anytime, she used it as her personal cellphone until i got wind of it.
Vent vent vent vent vent. And more vent. Whhoooooooooo. Sorrry | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:31:56 PM | I agree OP! I have one child with my ex and I pay 25% of my income. 25% is the max in texas... I could have had 8 kids and it would still be 25%.
I keep telling her I want a Two-fer but she will not go for it. Even offered to pay for AI.
So now I am in the situation that if I want more kids and a wife I have too find another woman that I love and wants to have kids.
I know, only women are allowed to get get remarried and have kids, and men should stay single, suffer, and pay money. But I am just a rebel like that.
tl;dr - some guys gladly pay child support and want more kids because they enjoy being a parent. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:41:47 PM |
It's a sad truth that many men run away from their children. Take my daughter's father, for example.
men run away from their children. Take my daughter's father
Take my daughter's father
Where do you want me to take him? Swim wit da  's?
I had to force my ex to take child support from me. She (admirably) wanted to do it on her own. I am lucky because she never tried to TAKE my money, nor does she blow it.
I have a better question foro you... Why would a woman go out with a man that does not support his child and cannot get along with his ex? Why would most women prefer the "bad boy" over a nice guy that takes care of his family? And if a guy does not want kids why not go get snipped?
entire thing, for both sexes, really dissapoints me. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:04:43 PM |
Did you read this entire article? Do you agree with all of it?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/463940/penalties_for_not_paying_child_support.html?cat=17
Statistics show that 75% of children who grew up with only one parent, have children who only grow up with one parent. We need to put a stop to it now or noone ever will. I did read it, thank you for asking. I do agree with it. I wish my daughter had a father figure more than just a grandpa. However, that's beyond my control. He is an adult and makes his own decisions. | |
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