| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:52:35 AM | No. I get $350 now and then once the back support is caught up I will get $200. The extra $150 goes to the 6 months he did not pay anything.
And I am not whining about the amount. If I were whining and wanted more then I would take him back to court and get an attorney and get more. I don' want more. I don't want to make it hard on him. I hate that he has chosen to make it hard on himself. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:55:04 PM |
^^^eastindyguy,
I do not judge anyone who disagrees with me...I simply debate the opinions they hold from my own personal experiences and from reading others.
You obviously have no grasp of reality. Go back and look at your first post in this thread (#87, I believe). If that isn't judging someone who disagrees with you, then what is? There was no debate in that post, or any of your others. There was simply vitriolic name calling on your part.
My ex pays 50% more in support to kids from a previous relationship with his ex...(not his kids btw)
Too bad, sorry for you. The amount of child support is controlled by a government formula. That he pays more to someone else is not pertinent to this discussion, except showing yet again that you will attempt to use emotional pleas to switch the argument away from a point you can not logically defend.
You have done this in almost every one of your posts in this (and other threads). You are incapable of logically arguing a point, and you continually try to use emotional pleas and straw-man arguments to hide the fact that your position does not stand up to any sort of intellectual scrutiny.
I have earned the right to be a little judgemental regarding subjects like this.
But, I thought you didn't judge others? Which is it - you can't be both judgmental and not judge others at the same time. Yet another logical inconsistency in your argument; of course, I am sure you will come up with yet another sob story as to why you should be allowed to continue your current pattern of behavior.
So forgive me if I am a tad bit pretentious when it is regarding the never ending complaints and various other gripes some men have.
So we are to endure your gripes, and kowtow to your view of the world as being the only correct one? I think not. Yes, you are pretentious - you have an overly inflated sense that your view is the only right one. What makes your complaints about men any more valid than their complaints about a corrupt, biased child support system. Nothing, except your insistence that you are right, and everyone else is wrong.
More and more it is becoming evident that you are a very bitter woman who blames all men for everything that doesn't go her way. I am not saying this to belittle you, I am saying it in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, you will read it and get some help. You need it.
I believe this thread asked a simple question...
Yes, it did. And when men answered the question in a way that you didn't agree with, you denigrated them.
I don't think it is right for men to start a relationship...that will have finacial obligations...until they have satisfied their first obligation of support to the existing children.....
So men are suppose to live as slave wages and not seek personal happiness until they are done being their kid's mother ATM? I am sure you wouldn't look to start another relationship until your kids were 18/22 if your ex had custody (I am sure you will say you wouldn't - but given your personality type that is already apparent, you can't be believed).
If you have a valid complaint or concern about the support you pay as a NCP.....you might want to pose it as a question instead of a complaint....
Why would I answer the OP's question with a question of my own. She asked MEN why they complain about CS but yet will go ahead and start another relationship. The purpose of this thread was not for me to ask a question, but for men to answer the OP's question.
sometimes......it's all in the delivery
ROFLMAO at the thought of you attempting to tell me, or others, how to express ourselves. From your constant misspellings, incorrect use of grammar, inability to stay on topic, or logically defend yourself you have lost any "right" you may have had to tell others how to express or convey their thoughts.
Although, I am sure we will see yet another post from you crying about this or that as some sort of valid reason for you to be the way you are and how you have the right to tell others how to express themselves.
By now, we expect nothing less from you. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:41:12 PM | | Why not just get on with your life? The OP lives in Canada where child support is enforced by the courts..now if your ex falls behind for some reason you can take him back to court if you choose to to get his drivers liscense taken away his passport taken away and his wages garnisheed so the children will be taken care of. Why can your ex not move on to find happiness too? | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/4/2008 4:25:37 AM | You obviously have no grasp of reality. Go back and look at your first post in this thread (#87, I believe). If that isn't judging someone who disagrees with you, then what is? There was no debate in that post, or any of your others. There was simply vitriolic name calling on your part....
^^^eastindy....it is unfortunate that many of my posts have been deleted....(probablie for bad gmaur and pour spelling)
Perhapd I have been a hypocrite...specially would seem so after reviewing the hole theed and the missing posts I made regardin this subgect....i guess all the cussin is why thesy got delted
ROFLMAO at the thought of you attempting to tell me, or others, how to express ourselves. From your constant misspellings, incorrect use of grammar, inability to stay on topic, or logically defend yourself you have lost any "right" you may have had to tell others how to express or convey their thoughts.
^^^^ eastindyguy...you are the one who needs help....Your rage about your own situation is very clear in all of your posts.
Your inability to recognize some of the subtle sarcasim in alot of these posts is pathetic...I do suspect that you are the type of person who takes great pleasure in stepping on others in order to feel superior.
I have the right to express and convey my thoughts (unless of course the POF powers at be delete them.. )....
Too bad, sorry for you. The amount of child support is controlled by a government formula. That he pays more to someone else is not pertinent to this discussion, except showing yet again that you will attempt to use emotional pleas to switch the argument away from a point you can not logically defend...........
^^^^^^I don't know what discussion you are participating in....but lemme give you a tip...my comments are pertinent to the discussion...since I have lived through the scenerio the OP has created with her question.
I have come out of my own experiences a better person because of my kids....not the bitter person I was going into them at the beginning.
BTW...when arguing and debating points with a woman on a subject like this....your only going to get an emotional arguement....it's called maternal instinct.
I do find it funny though that you have the nads to critisize my gramer and spelin....after postin a pic with 3 dbl chins.... | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:21:38 PM | Lizbeth2,
You really are something. We all can now see why you are divorced; no sane, rational person would be able to tolerate being around you for any length of time. Actually, I'm surprised you are only divorced and that your ex wasn't driven to blow his brains out. That would be the only sure-fire relief from having to deal with you. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:10:15 PM | You really are something. We all can now see why you are divorced; no sane, rational person would be able to tolerate being around you for any length of time. Actually, I'm surprised you are only divorced and that your ex wasn't driven to blow his brains out. That would be the only sure-fire relief from having to deal with you.
^^^so does that mean I win ? | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:17:12 PM |
You really are something. We all can now see why you are divorced; no sane, rational person would be able to tolerate being around you for any length of time. Actually, I'm surprised you are only divorced and that your ex wasn't driven to blow his brains out. That would be the only sure-fire relief from having to deal with you.
^^^so does that mean I win ?
So you have this driving need to win? | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:37:33 AM | I guess he does ^^^^ and that sums up alot about divorced couples and child support and alimony and everything else ..
Somone wants to win.
I've watched this thread .. I'm the OP, go from talk about men's parental rights, right back to the old child support financial battle.
Like I said, money is the root of all evil.. Who pays will nearly always pay begrudgingly even when they SWEAR its not about the money.
A novel concept, why not let the support go to a non partisan organization that could distribute the money as they see fit to the CP.
Oh wait, we have that in Canada .. its called maintenance enforcement....
I seriously love my children but I count the days until they are all 18 and done post secondary so I now longer need to deal with ex and money. God help us all when a child gets married. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:26:02 AM | Now here's a thread I can relate to......
I met my sons father when we were both teenagers, and four years later I gave birth to our son.
I gave our relationship another 6 months to see if we could work things out, but we just couldn't, so I left with our son.
Funnily enough we got on much better apart for 5 months until he found a new girlfriend and told me that he was not our sons father and he wanted nothing more to do with either of us.
It is now 13 years later.... Despite numerous court hearings, DNA tests (because he says they are less than 50% accurate - idiot), attachment of earnings orders etc in 13+ years I've had exactly 3 payments - however he now has 5 other children by 4 other mothers, and another one on the way to the sixth mother (his current partner). I only know this because the CSA write to me to tell me that of the £0.00 he currently pays, this will have to be lowered by £0.00 as he has another child on the way.............
According to the CSA here in the UK he doesn't work, and hasn't done so for the last 12 years, so cannot pay anything to support his firstborn child - nor has he seen or contacted my son since he was 11 months old - however he is in the process of buying a house in Scotland with (what appears to be) the mother of his forthcoming 7th child...........
Thankfully I've always worked and provided for my son and I, but it does annoy me that he has enough money to spawn half a dozen other children and now be in the process of buying a house, but according to the authorities he doesn't work and can't support his offspring, yet I am the one who wears the taboo of being a single mother......... | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 4/10/2008 2:47:34 AM | | All these comments seem to be about the guys. I know its a majority of men who pay child support, but I have full custody of my daughter and Im supposed to be collecting child support from my ex. Three months after my divorce she remarried a man with lots of money and she quit her job to stay home with his kids. She took me to court to get support reduced to about a 1/4 of what it was and she actually won that one. Now that my daughter is 17 and only a year left for support she only pays when she feels like it. I guess she figures Im not going to deal with court costs with only a year left for what little she has to pay. Lets see, she lives in a 500,000 dollar house, drives brand new cars, goes on vacations but cant make the state minimum payment of 40 dollars a week? And she wonders why her daughter wont talk to her or have anything to do with her. So dont bash just the guys, women are guilty of it also. When a person remarries, their new spouse should also be responsible for any debt that is brought into the marriage, especially child support. | |
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Tika75
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Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 165 | |
| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:05:05 PM | A Court order....don't make me laugh that much...it hurts. We have gone to court no less than three times. And still no child support. Shegot nothing from him for Christmas, not even a phone call, and his excuse....I have to take care of the other kids first. Please don't make me laugh that hard anymore. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:33:32 PM | | In many states, when a parent is ordered to pay child support it does not make a difference if they start a "new" family. So, he does not get to decide on his own to reduce the amount of child support he pays. It does not lessen the amount they are ordered to pay. Additionally, if your ex should father another child and split with the mother, your child support amount will usually remain the same and then a lesser amount is set for the second child. I've seen this happen over and over and over. | |
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Tika75
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Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 167 | |
| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/22/2009 10:19:14 AM | Is it not the same as a custodial mother who complains and laments about the lack of cs or the small amount of cs while she sits at home and does not herself contribute financially towards the rearing of the children?
Is it just my biases or is there any truth to my observation that the ones who complain the most about not receiving enough cs are those parents who are themselves not working or not working full time?
OOOOOHHHHH Man that one got my blood boiling. I work two jobs and we don't receive a dime in child support. Oh wait that's a lie.....I got a certified check in the mail for 25 cents last year. Yep 25 whole cents. The dang postage cost more.
And in TN. the cs laws state that they have to work with what both parents are making.......so to my thinking, and my attorneys.....since I work two jobs(to make up for what he dosen't pay, and hasn't paid in 8 years) my daughter is on;y going to receive about 50 bucks a month. But since I want to be able to support my child I have to keep both jobs. Now explain to me how that works Mr. Wizard!!! | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/22/2009 12:06:19 PM | As much as I hate to say it, a lot of men should never have kids. And a lot of women, should look at a man's character more before having kids with that man. All too often, I think women turn a blind eye to certain character flaws, then wonder why the guy is such an ***hole a few years down the road.
Sorry stole this from m-church but IMO this happens a lot more than women would or will ever admit.
Sadly I am not all that impressed by those men who have easily walked into another marraige hoping that their new wife will do all the "womens' work either.
But they get away with it because another woman will turn a blind eye to reality and bear his kids anyways. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:06:15 PM | I hate to say it Now Serving....but I agree with you. After reading this whole thread, I wonder why women and men aren't waiting for a higher caliber of mate to have kids with. If you choose an a$$hole to make babies with, don't be surprised when he or she is an a$$hole about payments and visitation and such.
And yes, there are "oopses" and "surprises" but I don't really buy into it 100%. I'm a woman who has been sexually active off and on since I was 19. Thus, I have been on the Pill off and on since then because I don't want to have a child right now. I have never been pregnant. If I was ever on any medication that could interfere with the Pill, I would insist on condoms. Simple.
As for the topic - it's a tough one, I support everyone's right to happiness, but people have to learn to take responsibility for who they fcuk, how they do it, planning for oopses and the future, etc... And even barring that, being humane with each other and really trying to do what's best for the children involved.
I was married for 12 years and though I loved my husband, I knew in my gut that he'd be a miserable, loutish father - so I opted not to have kids with him. When I found him in bed with my best friend, I just thanked my lucky stars I didn't have any innocent children involved in the ensuing divorce mess (he did everything in his power to screw with me during the divorce, and I'm just glad no children had to go through that.
Being picky is good.
Good luck to all! Do what is best for the kids. :) | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/22/2009 8:10:46 PM | Hmmm....
I do believe that men should pay child support. I also believe that the woman should be
just as accountable for how it is spent. It is CHILD support, not wife or g/f support. A man might be frustrated about the fact that the FOC hands out pamphlets for fathers to be involved with their children, yet the court awards him 17 percent of the available time with the children. That is a joke. Many women have guys over or move in with them. That is what happened to me. I pay over 1000 per mo. for a 4 and 5 yr old and she has a live in boyfriend. Her standard of living is much higher than mine. As for starting a second family,
if he makes his child support payments, he is accountable to no one and she should mind her own business. Maybe she makes a good living and can afford it. Maybe he just misses having his own family full time instead of the crumbs that fall from the masters table. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/28/2009 12:41:10 PM | | Well I can't speak for all other guys, mainly because most of them are mindless, self-absorbed deadbeats, but I joined a new family, after my son was born and my divorce from my first wife. I did just fine, for the most part. There were times when I got behind, but not one time did I ever relegate myself to being a complete deadbeat dad, nor will I ever. My past wife, the second of my two marriages, knew up front that my son was the most important thing to me. I pay my first wife a monthly child support payment, and my son lives with me 186 days a year, because I can't imagine a Christmas, Fall, Spring, or Summer break without him staying with me, much less every other weekend, and every weekend he wants to come over besides that he knows he can. The reason this marriage failed is because I didn't get along with my 16 year old stepson who thought he ran the house, and decided that he was going to try to fight me. I called the police, walked out the door, and because my soon to be ex didn't say anything or discipline him one bit, I haven't looked back. So, NO, there is no reason not to pay child support, and there is definitely NO reason not to want to see your child! | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/28/2009 6:33:31 PM |
Additionally, if your ex should father another child and split with the mother, your child support amount will usually remain the same and then a lesser amount is set for the second child.
See, now, this is something I've never understood. Why the second child would receive a lesser amount? I'm not suggesting in any way that a pre-existing court-ordered child support schedule should in any way be altered....but why would a second child in a following relationship be treated as "lesser" in that same regard??? Hmm...while I don't agree with cutting a previous child's support payments in any way...but food for thought...if one knows that any possible future children with someone would be treated as 'second-rate' court-wise if a split did eventually occur....then why even bother in the first place, hoping for a family and children with a single parent if one's children in said relationship would only come out as 'second-best' anyway? I'm just asking...... | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:13:46 PM | Sweetness-one, that doesn't happen everywhere. My son's Father pays support (as per table amounts) for two children from his previous marriage. He pays support for our son, and the support he pays is ALSO per the table amount. Our son recieves the same amount of support that he would if the other two children did not exist..........
I completely agree with your statement. The child from the second relationship is defintely in no way shape or form a "lesser" child than a child from a previous relationship..........If you can't look after your children, you shouldn't be having them, from any kind of relationship, first, last or in between. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/28/2009 8:16:19 PM | See, now, this is something I've never understood. Why the second child would receive a lesser amount? I'm not suggesting in any way that a pre-existing court-ordered child support schedule should in any way be altered....but why would a second child in a following relationship be treated as "lesser" in that same regard??? Hmm...while I don't agree with cutting a previous child's support payments in any way.
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I'm not 100% sure but I think it is because the money for the first child(ren) has already been set aside so it is not considered available income when considering future child support. However, many states have different divorce/family provisions and I think it depends on what state you live in as to how it is determined. Jaxi, you are very lucky. | |
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| Men who ?@#*& About Child Support and then go and start a new family???
Posted: 1/29/2009 7:11:47 AM |
Jaxi, you are very lucky.
Nope. She lives in Canada. Her ex is one of the reasons many men are hesitant to get back into marriages and have more kids. Because we live in Canada there is also the real possibility the guy will have to pay the full amount for any bio-kids from a previous relationship AND full amount for non-bio kids of a second relationship.
It's a very cool setup... unless you are the guy having to pay or who is stupid enough to let himself get into a situation like that....
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