| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:57:07 PM | Opinions Vary, 'Phoe' . .
I'm honest enough to show to anyone that is equally open to an LTR that I'm willing to go Straight into a relationship . . and not 'Window-shop' in the dating market . .
~ Stir your kettle in any direction you choose . . ~ | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:23:19 PM | I personally don't want someone who claims to never want to be married, or committed to a person long term. All the dating, have fun, live for today only stuff will eventually get boring, and you will want more, then there you are, with someone who looks at you and says, but I thought you only wanted good times?
On the other hand, you don't want someone who wants to get married the first 3 months..they look at you and say, but I thought you wanted a long term relationship?
I wish they had a box to check that said: Wants to talk, meet, date, have fun, and see what happens...with a person not afraid of the idea of long term commitment. | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:46:54 PM | I've had both friends and long term on my profile. At times, I've stated that anything long term begins with friendship. But I've never had dating or hang out or activity partner or any of the others because that's really really really NOT what I want. Simple, eh?
I've been practicing on this long term thingy for fifty years now, and have just about got it down, lol! Now is no damn dime to quit.
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:50:54 AM | How can anyone go straight into a long term relationship/commitment with a person, without dating them first?
This sounds like the age old question " Which came first the chicken or the egg?"
I'm not interested in serial dating. I'm not interested in casual and non-committed sex.
I'm also honest enough to say that I'm also open and willing to pursue an LTR, here and in my profile.
But, to say that anyone who has DATING listed on their profile sounds like they're
" out to get laid", seems pretty degrading and judgemental, to me. | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 8:26:31 AM |
On the other hand, you don't want someone who wants to get married the first 3 months..they look at you and say, but I thought you wanted a long term relationship?
 I just had to laugh when I read this. I confess, in my happiest relationship, he really did want to get committed that fast! But I think that was a unique situation. He had been in a long term relationship for over 25 years and when it ended, he knew he wanted another one, he hated living alone, he was a great judge of character and knew right away when he met me that I was what he wanted.......... That doesn't happen often!!!! It took me a lot longer to be sure that I wanted a committment there!
My parents married after 3 months and it lasted 37 years until the day they died. I've always felt that it had to be a year of being together, then a year of engagement..... but who knows? I've known other people who waited 3 to 5 years and they got divorced a year later........
Even though I always felt that people should wait two years before getting committed, I felt comfortable doing that with Wayne after six months because he was so steady and reliable and dependable and honest..........so I think it's hard to have hard and fast rules............
It's scary to take a chance but I won't let fears from the past keep me from taking that chance in the future...........it's worth it! | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 10:49:34 AM | ~ One Step at a Time ~
'Dating' can be understood as One night, only . . or a few days/weeks . .
I suppose ..whatever the choice in 'What you're looking for' . . it can be explained/expounded upon in the body of the narrative . .
Those that know that the Egg _Did_ come first, though .. can explain their choice locically ! | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 11:15:14 AM | I put long term as that is the ultimate goal - doesn't necessarily translate into marriage - just someone special to enjoy life with.
The problem is like that like "Dating", everyone has their own definition of "Long Term", so you might want to ask the person who has it on their profile - what it means to them.
Even if they put a choice like "Serious Relationship" - everyone would have their own interpretation - best way to know is to ask someone what they mean. People love to explain themselves. | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 11:51:10 AM | | I found that having the commitment, makes it something worthwhile. It takes effort to keep a relationship working. I personally feel that is one of the big problems in our society today, fewer people care about making things work and work well. If it breaks, just get a new one. No attempt at all, in fixing it up or learning to deal with a few "little things" that might be wrong. At our age, I'd think you would feel just the opposite. I'm not about to waste time finding someone new, when the one I'm with is just fine, if I get a grip and deal with the little incompatibilities. Nobody is perfect, and we could spend an eternity attempting to find that perfect match. Simply discarding the imperfections and moving on to another imperfection, seems like a waste of energy. | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 11:59:10 AM | | I'm 46 in may.At this present time not looking for commitment.Due to a resent situation. In time I will move on..but you can never have enough friends to help you through it | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/23/2008 12:08:26 PM | I know that in my happiest relationship, there were lots of things he did that I didn't particulary like or love but they weren't bad or evil things and I learned to live and let live when it came to things like that and I believe he felt and did the same with certain things I did that he didn't like.
To me, a committed relationship, a home, is a haven from the stresses of the world out there. I may have to behave this way and that way at the office but when I get home, I want to be able to let my hair down and relax and maybe NOT be so great or perfect all the time............ To me, it's important in my home and in my committed relationship to be accepted even with my imperfections............ That's what makes love love and a home a home in my opinion............ Home is a refuge where I can relax and love and be loved and not have to be perfect, where we can play and laugh and stand by each other through the tough times and have a ball during the good times.......... | |
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| long term/commitment
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:13:53 AM | Hi Everyone! Long term/commitment for me means that i wish to be in a monogamous relationship. The emotional security, with all the ups and downs, and the sharing that goes naturally which such brings out my happiest self. Time is what breeds this though. We all have to climb the ladder before reaching the top. Trust and mutual respect will bring long term.
Does long term mean marriage? I don't know. The way i figure it, what is meant to be will. I am not adverse to marriage again, but you can be damn sure i will give the relationship time to find out.......with the grace of God. | |
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