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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:32:22 PM | | there isn't anything wrong with a little competition. if you're the best guy for her, in the end, she'll pick you exclusively. if you're not the best guy for her, she won't. if you truly like her, you should want her to find the best one, regardless of whether its you or not. recently i had a guy ask me to be his exclusive girlfriend after only a week. this happens to me all the time, and i knew i shouldn't do that. i agreed anyway, and as soon as i gave in, he didn't even want me anymore. i think guys really prefer the conquest anyway. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:34:53 PM | Are there any men that are truly looking for a deep & lasting connection with a woman? If not, I want to know so I can just give up. If so, any ideas on why I keep running into the same scenarios, and how I can avoid them? I'm tired of ending up feeling used. I deserve a good man! - lllllllLeah
> I don't understand you.
> You state in your profile that you are not looking for anything serious romantically, that you only want friends, that you are "not single, not looking".
> Your profile heading also screams "Destined to be Alone". Your subconscious is listening to you and providing you with the situation you are asking for. I would point out an important feature of your subconscious - that it does not know the difference between fact and fiction. It does not take a joke, either. It simply works according to what you say and do and believe to be true.
> Destined to be Alone is what your subconscious sees every single time you open your profile. It is also what every other person sees, including the men, when they open your profile.
> I guess you know what you're doing.
> Good luck.
> PS You say in your posting that you are tired of feeling used. Note who is tired - after all that work of feeling used? You are. It is you and no one else who is doing all the work here. No one is 'using' you. That is a projection of your ego upon your circumstances. Change your mind and you will change your life.
> Soul Union. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:38:24 PM | | ahh that "destined to be alone" thing is only from today, and is meant for one particular person. i am not looking for anything right now romantically. i'd love to have some friends. what's so confusing about that? | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:42:36 PM |
> PS You say in your posting that you are tired of feeling used. Note who is tired - aftger all that work of feeling used? You are. It is you and no one else who is doing the work here. No one is 'using' you. That is a projection of your ego upon your circumstances. Change your mind and you will change your life.
> Soul Union.
what's that mean? | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:44:30 PM | ahh that "destined to be alone" thing is only from today, and is meant for one particular person. i am not looking for anything right now romantically. i'd love to have some friends. what's so confusing about that? - llllllLeah
> So why are you asking for everyone's advice in the first place, if you are not looking for anything romantically? You are wasting people's time and effort. You are not constant here, changing colour like a chameleon. Why did you not state that you don't want a serious relationship? You didn't say that in your posting. You said the opposite.
> Soul Union. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:46:34 PM |
Mc, I really think that good people experience so much upset that they end up saying "if I can't beat them join them", and then turn into jerks. I haven't done so yet, but I have to say, it's occurred to me that I should just throw in the towel and join the masses. yuck
I agree Leah, but then if you do that could you or would you be truly happy? Doubtful, besides, think of the types of guys you'd most likely be attracting, not the ones you'd like to spend time with. I agree, it does get frustrating, but if you/we just keep on fishing then in time fate has to bring the right one along at some point. I'll admit, I have had that same "if I can't beat em I'll join em" thought, but then I feel that would be selling myself short and I'd be compromising my standards and beliefs. So I'd rather be alone and keep trying than to lower my standards and go against my beliefs and go for someone that will ultimately end up treating me like crap in the end. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:48:43 PM | | The answer to the initial question is yes - I am one of them. Sometimes, some of we men on this site ask the same question about the women. There certainly can be a sense of futility, esp. for the true hopeless romantic. I wish I knew the answer. It seems we are all faced with the same question; either continue to put our heart "out there" with the possibility of it getting broken again and again, or we can shut down our heart and simply close ourself off emotionally. Some people have chosen one answer, some the other. I may have to occassionally take emotional breaks to keep from burning-out, but for me, love is worth finding, even if I spend most of my life finding it. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:48:44 PM | | i would think that someone your age would understand that what a person wants in general may differ from what they want at one specific moment in time. it's like, i want to be skinny but now i want a cheeseburger. think about it. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 1:52:44 PM | i would think that someone your age would understand that what a person wants . . . - llllllLeah
> What does 'my' age (compared to, say, yours or anyone else's) have to do with you changing your mind about your posting in the matter of a few minutes?
> Soul Union. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:10:34 PM | blah. why do postings in forums always end up beating up on the person posting? feel free to give constructive criticism, but this ruthless bang-em-up sucks. - llllllLeah
> I thought that was coming.
> So not only are you tired of being used, you now state that people are beating up on you.
> Soul Union. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:18:28 PM | Yes there are men who want this, like myself for example, but most of the women I meet have such a fixed idea of who they are looking for, that they miss out on us mere mortals. Perhaps you are, without realising, looking for more of the same type of guy, or maybe even you are somehow consistently attracting the wrong type.
I noticed your profile says you are a Christian, maybe matt 6:33 might help you here? Or failing that, try taking a short break from dating and even from your home town, to do a bit of travelling, maybe help at a youth activity centre for bit; this will renew your vitality and give you a dresh perspective on all sorts of things.
it's like, i want to be skinny but now i want a cheeseburger. think about it.
I know what you mean there, but can't resist saying, If we were in the same country, I would be very happy to take us for a cheeseburger, and get chatting :) You seem like a lovely person, and you deserve the _best_, not "the usual". | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:57:39 PM | It is just as possible to meet a good person on the dating sites as it is possible to meet a bad person.
Unfortunatly, you only have your instincts and what the individual tells you about themselves. I feel that sometimes we are so desperate for love and acceptance by others, that we let down our guard completely and allow ourselves to get hurt.
I have had the experience of several predators who have contacted me and within 3 or 4 messages, have demanded to know how much I had in my bank account. Several attempts have been made to jack the info off my computer, but I don't keep personal info that could damage me here!       | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 3:06:56 PM | | Yes Leah there are men looking for true love. Just the odds are so high against you. From what I have read about internet dating is you have to have contact with 1,200 to 1,500 persons before you may find your match. Now I am not talking about meeting face to face but getting to know someone well enough by emails and by phone. But hey hang in there I have been at this for four years with no luck. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 3:25:10 PM |
It seems like I keep going through the same cycle all the time.
That is your answer.
Guys all say "I'm different" but end up doing the same types of things
And you keep choosing them ......... the only constant here is you, figure that out, take some responsibility stop blaming the guys you choose, then move on and it will get better. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/8/2008 3:52:55 PM | If you read my entire post, you would see that accept that possibility that it is me that is the problem. The point is, that if I am doing that, I need to know how/ why, and how I can recognize and stay away from them in the first place. Your reply was not very helpful, you're just a basher.  | |
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