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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:48:08 PM | I ask myself the same question at times...the answer is yes! I think we just haven't found the right guy yet. I refuse to give up hope...patience is the key I believe. I seem to fall for all the wrong men and the ones that fall for me, I'm just not interested.
Don't give up, just follow your gut instinct. Someday it will happen.....right? | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:58:13 PM | They do exist. :) Of course, guys like me always seem to get overlooked by the girls. Both sides are totally superficial. All the girls want Mr GQ, and all the guys want the playmate. Those people get all the play and the rest of us are left to think we are worthless.
Dude, life ROCKS!!! How did anyone ever get married before the internet!  | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:59:11 PM |
I guess all the stuff I was trying to say was a round about answer to your original question. Yes there are guys out there looking for a deep and lasting connection, some people are just too impatient to let it happen. It's nothing you're doing wrong at all, it's just the way people are. If you're looking for a reason why you keep on running into the same scenarios just look at how society has changed in even the past 10 years. How can you avoid them, I don't know that you can. Just be patient and hope you run into a guy that feels the way you do.
Problem is, some of us want to let new relationships develop at a comfortable pace, to get to know one another and not rush into things faster than we feel we should, and what do we get? I've seen dozens of posts from men looking for long-term who state quite openly "If there's no sex by the third date I move on." How can there possibly be any sort of comfort level there? It's like you need to pin down the perfect storm....develop interest and feelings and trust that are genuine.....but HURRY HURRY HURRY--HE'S GOING TO LOSE PATIENCE!!! I can fairly safely say I won't be having sex with anyone by the third date, so I guess long-term.....or even short-term for that matter....is out of reach for me. Good thing I like forums, I guess!
 SunnyD | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 8:02:32 PM | I absolutely am. Never been the 'player' type. A quality relationship over quantity is the only thing I'm interested in, and though I know it's a longshot, I'm keeping the faith!
One of life's most beautiful things to me is when I see an elderly couple holding hands and caring for the other. Somehow they made it, despite the odds. Now that's love.  | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 8:30:47 PM |
As I understand it, you've dated several men, and can't find one who wants to commit i didn't say that, and that is not the case. actually, it's totally the opposite, guys ask me to rush into committment, not vice versa. i was married nearly a third of my lifetime. that was my point with some of the other posters too...it totally ignores my actual question, about men seeking true love. thanks anyway.  | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:06:20 PM | | Of course there are men seeking true love, but I doubt you and I define the term “true love” the same way. I am looking for the love of my life. That means to me someone who I am best friend and we enjoy sex, but also someone who I know their faults and love them despite them. True love has, to me, almost nothing to do with dating. A true love to me is when you don't feel in love with your spouse but you keep trying until the feeling comes back. It means sticking with your girlfriend or spouse through thick and thin even if you don't want to because you believe in that person. That's true love. Anything that takes place in the first two years of any relationship is true lust, not love. In those early years all one has are a bunch of body chemicals (adrenaline, oxytocin and testosterone mostly) telling one that this person one is dating is perfect. Once normal brain functioning resumes and many, many years have past, then you might be ready to understand if that person and you share any true love, but not until then. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:29:58 PM | llllllllLeah,
Yes, there are guys out there that are seeking true love! Like the poster above me stated, it is about sticking together through the thick and thin, no matter what it takes! True love to me is about being close friends, but also being close. Their has to be both the physical and emotional connection. It won't always be there, not every minute of the relationship, but it's still there.
It is more important, at least to me, to be able to be best friends with the person I will be with. Not be played with like a toy, or treated like all I'm worth is the paycheck I bring home. Forget the "keep the guy waiting, wanting more, and you will win him" bullcrap! If a woman plays me like that, or waiting too long, I will LOSE INTEREST, and move on... BEFORE we ever find out if their was what it takes for true love to happen.
Remember, true love won't happen on a date or two! You may be falling for them, but that's lust. Wait it out, stick with them unless they treat you like doodie, and see what wonderful things can be in store. If sex happens, it happens. Forget RULES, their are no rules, except the ones you make for yourself.
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:07:51 PM | Leah,
The answer to the original question is "yes" and I am one of them. I understand where you are coming from, as I have had the same problem with women. In fact, the last one broke it off in a text message, which was pretty low. Yes, it hurts, but you just have to "get back on the horse" and try again. That "one" is out there, it just may take more time than you intended. Don't give up, and good luck!!   | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/10/2008 6:28:57 AM | OK, so if I understand it, you've dated several men, and they want commitment too soon for you. So what is it you're looking for? Do you NOT want commitment? Or you want it later? Or you want the 'true love' first, followed by the commitment?
Taking a different tack, the idea of 'true love', commitment, marriage or anything else for a LIFETIME was a very workable idea way back in the middle ages when your life expectancy was about 30 years. When 'till death do you part' was only 10-15 years. Even if only the first 5 years are good, you can put up with an amazing amount of crap for just 10 more years.
Therefore, I would suggest that 'true love for a lifetime' is an unrealistic expectation.
Sure, its nice to see an elderly couple holding hands and all. But how many of those are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage?
Good luck.
G | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/10/2008 8:31:48 AM | re the Opost
Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
There are both men and woman looking for true love for a lifetime. The problem is that by nature "true love" does not last "a lifetime", and long term is around 2 years these days.
Thus one can choose "fixed up love" for a lifetime or "true love" for as long as it lasts. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:41:29 PM | Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?...you ask. A man may spend a lifetime looking for true love and NEVER find it. But oh how sweet it is to be in love, at least once in a lifetime...so in love...you find yourself taking flight on wings of faith, hope and trust. For a moment, a lifetime doesn't matter...only the moment. To fall so deeply in love that you laugh out at a business meeting at the wrong time, just because last nights pillow talk caught you daydreaming. You cant find that.....it finds you. So, look, go looking...but dont waste a lifetime.....stop, notice me, smile with me, talk with me. Let's walk for a while and listen...listen with your heart, listen for true love. One Never knows.  | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:39:21 AM | *Leah* . .
Not ALL The Good Ones Are Taken . . !!!
-{My former name, here}-
I've been on the verge of Quitting, myself . .
*Chucking the whole Kit and Kaboodle* ..as it were . . !!!
BUT...everytime that I reach that point . . Someone sends a nice letter
...asking why such a Nice Guy is still Single . .
-{and I'm ALWAYS at a Loss for an explanation...!!}-
Hamg in there . . he'll show up . . !!!
* The last stanza to *IF*...by Bread *
All The Best!! | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:34:24 AM | | been looking for true love . one who WILL want to be with me . when SHE walks in a room . her man is at her side or behind her . SHE is #1 . first you meet each other , then . you know if it is love . can the two of you be out of each others arms ? I want someone to grow old with . I THAUGHT , MY ex-girlfriends was her . BUT , I see it is not . | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:51:59 AM | | Don;t expect everything to work out when you first meet someome that is just puppy love. it takes time to get to knwo someone.Don;t look for mr. Right (the perfect guy) Look for Mr. Right now, a casual realtionship that develops over tiem into a serious one. Be clear on what you want. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:42:56 AM | Hey Leah, I think it is not just men that promise they are different.
I have had the same experience with women, the one I belived most was my last partner, I thought she was different and she said she was, thought I had found my soulmate and would be with her forever, but guess what she was just like the others, no matter how hard you try too please, you just cannot win.
I know there will be someone somewhere who is perfect, and will be true too their word when they say they are different, but its taking a long bloody time to find that person.
So its not just men. | |
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nyre
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Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 96 | |
| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:55:01 AM | Yes you can find true love on a dating site especially POF I found my True one and Only love (took me a little over 2 yrs, ((this is a new acct created just for the forums)) Keep an open mind and talk to guys online for a while before meeting
Good Luck to you
Scotty | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:19:52 AM | | I keep running into men who don't believe in the concept of marriage. I'm not religious, but I still think that the idea of promising to be with one person for the rest of your life is a beautiful thing, and one that really makes a lot of practical sense - how are people going to stay together, unless they commit to working towards that? Otherwise, of course someone will eventually turn someone's head if neither of you promise. Then sometimes, I run into guys who do believe in marriage, but then they seem to be the same type that wants kids. | |
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| Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:23:19 AM | | I think there may be those who might be, however there are plenty of messed up fish trying to find someone to use, just plain liars that type in things that they don't have a clue what it would be like to have in a relationship. I am finding more and more that if they put no games, they have just let you know that is what you will get. Everyone I have been contacted by that has noted no games or head games are the ones who actually do the games. They narc themselves off from the start. So with that said, keep this in mind, save yourself the problem. Most of the people on the dating sites have been hurt, and I guess through no part of their own, but you still have those who enjoy the chase, the lure and their let down to the other person. They feel like they are getting even. It gives them power over something, which they crave for their own sanity or sense of self. Keep looking, pay close attention to what they type. Get a IM going as that is where I am finding they say more than they actually say. You can pretty much tell if they are im with someone else which serves their need to think they are popular, or getting over on you, or that they are just not worthy of a real relationship until they can act like a responsible caring person. If we start taking responsibility for our own hurts, not sleeping with unworthy opponents, and kicking their butts out the door when we know they are not for us, when we make them treat us with respect, and are not allowing them to say hurtful things, make rude comments to us, about us, and about others. When we realize it is better to be alone, with a chance to meet the right person, than to be with someone who can't show affection, and love, and actually adopt that standard in our lives, and with all this said we just need to take better care of our hearts, let them try harder for us, and find the wisdom to figure their game, or their love. GOOD LUCK OUT THERE DATING! BEEN THROUGH THIS PART A COUPLE TIMES, AND ADOPTING THE ABOVE FOR MY LIFE! BETTER ALONE WITH A CHANCE, THAN WITH A LOSER, MEANINGLESS PULL DOWN ON SELF ESTEEM! | |
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