| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:03:32 PM | | Ah, the joys of online dating! Sometimes that connection you think you feel is just a smokescreen, and doesn't translate into the real world. You did everything right OP, did your best to make her feel comfortable and try to find some common ground. There is nothing wrong with her not feeling it between you, although it was incredibly rude the way she blew you off like that. She didn't even have enough courtesy to tell you thanks but no thanks; doesn't sound like you missed out on anything special there. Lesson learned, and good luck next time. | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/10/2008 4:19:12 PM | | One more thing, that's why having a web cam is a great thing. You BOTH get to see who you are talking to. Even if you are talking on the phone, you can show off your best dance moves or something, anything to give a real impression of who's on the other end of the conversation. I use it in business on occasion if I am signing on for a long trip with people I have never sailed with before. You think a blind date is scary try having to be stuck on a boat for 2 weeks with an incompatible crew member or owner. Fool me once, shame on you . . . | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/10/2008 4:33:42 PM | There is just no good excuse for being rude, insensitive and ignorant. She should have been an adult and just said it out straight.
Also, Mae I had the same experience and it is humiliating!! Good Lord, if you walked in and thought I looked like Shrek at least call me and tell me you can't make it (as you make your way back out to your car!!). | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/10/2008 9:18:06 PM | Well again, I looked exactly like my picture and so did she, so no surprises there.
I also sent her a few samples of me doing some of my "voices" I used to be pretty good at doing voices of some different cartoon characters, though now that I'm nearly 30, the voice doesn't quite do what it's told. | |
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Posted: 3/10/2008 9:26:20 PM | | Sounds like she is probably on meds. Movie on dude she isn't worth worring about. | |
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Posted: 3/10/2008 9:42:27 PM | | In my oppinion... You did nothing wrong... That is the kind of first date that I prefer... No pressure... Just getting to know each other... Don't worry about it... I seems that she just did not click with you and picked a very foolish and immature way to handle it... Good luck to you and don't change your ways... | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/10/2008 9:56:25 PM | She didn't feel the spark. So what? Usually you have good luck at Starbucks. Keep doing what u r doing. | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:14:14 AM | I wouldn't meet at Starbuck's (it's a bit trailer trash) but that's just me. And talking for hours on a phone means nothing. Only face-to-face means something. And not all ladies like fine dining, I don't.
She didn't feel chemistry when she met you. That's it. Go find someone who will. Best wishes (sorry it didn't work out). | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:35:33 AM | I don't believe its where you met. No sparks , do you resemble your photos.
I met up with someone and there was an instant unattraction as they looked NOTHING like pictures | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:05:00 AM |
I also sent her a few samples of me doing some of my "voices" I used to be pretty good at doing voices of some different cartoon characters, though now that I'm nearly 30, the voice doesn't quite do what it's told.
Maybe the thought that you might roll off her in the middle of the night with a Porky Pigesque "th th th thats all folks" or doing a Daffy Duck/Sylvester the cat impression during oral sex just didn't float her boat? | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/11/2008 7:22:41 PM |
MSG#26~OP~wrote:my phone buzzes. It is a text message from her that just says "no" and I asked what that was and she said she was responding to a friend and must have hit my name by mistake. She was in the bathroom so long I thought she had ditched me. I even mentioned that when she was gone and I couldn't find her I had wondered if she bailed.
It's possible she could be married and hubby is out of town and then someone she tried to contact before making plans got with her during the date and she split to go meet a different guy. I hope she met him and he was a dirt bag lol.
People are strange.I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most likely her phone was on vibrate and she got texted and she headed to the bathroom and made plans with a different Joe. | |
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Posted: 3/11/2008 11:11:28 PM | | Aw I am so sorry to hear that. I don't know why someone would do that to someone else. It seems so mean. I could never do that to someone. Even if it seemed like a bad date. I'd stick it out until the date was over. | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:26:21 PM | Well, I'd have to give her credit for at least agreeing to meet up with you. She obviously thought there may have been some chemistry while you were chatting online or on the phone, but didn't feel it when you met in person. She certainly could have been a little more diplomatic as to the way she ended the date; just shows how very immature she must be. I'd consider yourself lucky it didn't go any further; nothing worse then investing a lot of time on one person, just to get shafted in the end...
Personally, I like the idea of meeting at Starbuck's, or better yet, Timmy's. It's very low key, and one could always make a fast exit if necessary..
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Posted: 3/11/2008 11:28:04 PM | OP : sounds like she judged you for your looks (what woman doesn't do that nowadays?) as she was fine with you online but upon meeting, she totally turned out to be a self centered douchebag.
I guess you just gotta find one that IS attraced to you. If that was me and she started acting that way, i would have made her more uncomfortable by openly asking her for a blowj*b just so the date would be over and done with upon that request.
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:48:34 PM | Maeflowers has it right, I think.
The chemistry thing is just that. Men give of pheromones that some women find attractive and others don't. It's all subconscious and no amount of cologne will
change it. No one guy appeals to all women.
So, she was probably disappointed and sad that she didn't click with you. Some people just clam up and don't have the skill or trust to just tell the truth when they're disappointed. Then too, who knows what abusive jerk laid into her after being "rejected" in person. Not a whole lot of trust over on her side of the fence.
So, unless you started talking about how you'd like to screw here sister or something, you didn't do anything wrong and have nothing to worry about. You just didn't smell right. However, you do have a clue about why she's still single! LOL!!!
What I'm taking away from your story is this: if I get the impression that my date isn't having fun and she won't tell me what's up, it's probably time for me to wrap it up. We don't have to be doormats just because we're guys! Heck, if I'm gonna get rejected anyway I might as well collect a few more in the time I'd otherwise waste by sticking around for her!
LOL! Women call it "kissing frogs" and tend to resent having to do it. But guys know that it's always a numbers game. Collect enough rejections and eventually you can turn them in for a really nice prize! | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:02:28 AM | | Wow!, sorry that happened. She was just immature and rude. But, that is the chance we take with online dating. You can have chemistry with someone via email, chat and on the phone but when you meet, it sometimes isn't there. Chalk it up to experience. | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:04:38 PM | OP: Yep! It's a good thing that you found out about this gal's immature & rudeness now rather than later. Never give up & keep on fishing! All the Best!  | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:44:59 PM | I'm guessing she didn't feel the connection when she met you face to face. She should have been honest with you up front, but then again, sometimes that can be hard too. I try to be as honest as I can in these situations, but after a bad experience, I am more careful of doing it face to face. Some can take it and some can't. At least she backed out before you spent anymore money on the date and I give her credit for that.
I met a guy, had dinner, he paid. Our first "date" we went to a social event, then dinner, I paid. I didn't feel the connection and was honest with him about it and he cried! saying I lead him on.....WTF, it was two occasions we spent time together. ugh!  | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 5:54:37 PM |
I wouldn't meet at Starbuck's (it's a bit trailer trash) but that's just me.
Hey bailame, how is meeting at Starbucks "trailer trash"? Should he have treated her to a lobster dinner? They met off of the Internet. No previous meetings. No physical attraction established. I think meeting at a Starbucks for 45 minutes to test physical attraction is a GREAT idea. No offense bailame, but if I was told by a lady that meeting at a neutral place for some coffee was indicative of "trailer trash", I would head for zee hills!
Just my two cents  | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:15:50 PM | "Looks like my old standby of meeting at Starbucks and chatting for hours didn't work in this case. "
It did work! It helped you identify and rule out someone who wasn't interested or capable of being a respectful companion. Aren't you glad you didn't have to invest in a second date to find out?
Cheers. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 6:43:53 PM | | Wayne maybe you're right. I didn't think of it that way. Good point. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2008 7:33:37 PM | | Ya, if a girl shuts down, its her way of saying shes not physically attracted to you. takes a lot to overcome that. | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:51:40 PM | How old was this girl anyway? 14?
I think you should have gotten your cue to end the date when you first noticed her turned off behavior from the beginning rather than trying to extend the date with lunch and walking around the mall.
She certainly was rude and immature in how she handled things though. | |
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| Ditched during the date
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:42:41 PM | Consider yourself lucky..... you found out sooner than later.
She could of used you for a few lunches, dinners and movies etc...but she didn't.
Cut your losses and move on..... there was no spark that she was looking for and at least she told you in her own childish way....got to love text messaging as a form of communication eh?...very childish.
lots of other Fishes out there that are going to be more forthright with you.
inexpensive lesson. | |
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