| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:38:38 PM | As wonderful and simple as it sounds, I think a person can learn from their pain and hopefully not repeat it. There is a saying what won't kill you will make you stronger. A lot of times the most painful lesson can be the most vaulable one. Grow and learn from it.
Hopefully not to repeat it or have it repeated.
Some time you just have to let go and move on but always know how you got to where you are and be grateful for that.and thank your higher being .Life gives you experiences for a reason it will build character within you. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:06:41 AM | ^^^
I don't think all pain is a learning tool. I think that's what abusers use it for.
The only thing one can do is rise above it or cope with its effects. However some abuse is so devastating it can imprint you for your life time. Not in a good way. How do you tell a child his abuse will make sense as an adult? How do you tell an adult all the years of systematic abuse as a child is some blessing because it made them who they are?
its all rubbish in my personal experience.
Higher self? my goodness is that how people are coping these days? ever heard of multiple personality disorder? is it becoming acceptable these days, the norm instead of a mental illness these days?
And what doesn't kill you only leaves terrible scars. what is this a fortune cookie factory? | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:21:17 AM |
Life gives you experiences for a reason it will build character within you
Absolutely!
Seems to be a growing fad to pop a pill for what ails ya anymore. Pharmaceutical companies sure reap the profits hand over fist. I'd rather deal with life than "avoid" it. IMO | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:04:53 PM | Ive come back to this thread,.. something has been knawing at me,.. and after reading Crazy liltings posts,.. I know what it is.
For all my 'concerns' about the possible abuses of such a drug,.. and all my high faluting concepts of life, and what makes us who we are,.. a little nagging voice inside me says 'Who are you to decide who should have this drug, and who shouldnt,' If someone wants to erase memories, and the consquent horror and trauma and nighmarish impact of a memory,.. who am I to say 'You shouldnt do that.
Ach, on this one,.. and against my concerns.. my feelings of compassion, my feelings of wanting pain, emotional or otherwise to be relieved, or taken away. are uppermost.
I could'nt, and would'nt oppose someone who wanted to take such a drug. Sometimes, as crazy lilting said, the things that happen to people are so horrific, so absolutely soul destroying,.. that no amount of rationalising, or pontificating about the 'spiritual reasons' will ever justify making someone stay in their pain. Would I dare to preach 'concepts of self' to anyone affected in the genocides of the Haulocaust? Or Rwanda,? Or Dafur? Uff, no, not me,.. I would'nt dare. How could I?
This is a scenario where, against my more 'distant' type judgement, my compulsion would be to let anyone who has suffered so much have the drug,.. and the 'concerns 'can be spoken about afterwards, ad infinitum.. but immediate relief, where possible, seems to be the way my heart wants to go on this. Miss Eyre. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:41:20 PM |
my compulsion would be to let anyone who has suffered so much have the drug
Actually, people already choose drugs to diminish or alleviate their emotional pain - alcohol being a frequent drug of choice for many as one example. Pain is a fact of life, just as any other emotional reaction to an event or circumstance. Certainly it is personal choice but I question why not use lobotomy as a pain eliminator - one time event, never have to worry about the growing pains of life again as far as I am aware. Of course, who wants to be in effect an emotional zombie? C'est ne pas moi~! Pain does have it's place in the human experience. As for painful/bad memories? Well, got a few of those of my own and I would rather have my memory intact than to have portions in effect like "blank spots". Perish the thought!
To each their own. I personally prefer to live life fully intact, thank you.  | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:45:50 PM | Post Traumati Stress Disorder is something for which there is no cure. Without treatment to lessen the effects as much as possible, it just gets worse day in and day out.
The body is on overload all the time for those suffering from PTSD. It is a constant flight-or-fight response at even the slightest of things. Nightmares are paralyzing, relationships are all messed up, relaxation is almost not possible. Irritation takes over, being startlable most of the time is prevalent. Other people look at these people like they are just hot heads and nuts.
The most effective treatment on the market today for PTSD is called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Studies show an 80% improvement rate for all patients, or higher.
How EMDR works is that it causes both side of the brian to become stimulated and start working together. It causes the patient to relive the memories, BUT, the chemical memory stored in the body's tissues and systems gets released as well. Over time, after a treatment, the brain and body continue to process these memories by taking them out of the stress center of the brain and putting them into the long-term storage center of the brain thereby making them seem far away and ending much of the physical connection to them.
I can tell you first hand that these reliving memories are very real and very difficult to deal with. Pills help with a lot of the symptoms that become very elevated during this treatment, but they don't work on some things...
If there was a pill to help lessen the effects during these incredible and necessary treatments that would not inhibit the healing process, then it should be made available to those patients only. I don't believe you can ever erase someone's memory totally, only lessen the effects. The bodies cells store memories in them, not just the brain.
PTSD caused by family issues has been shown to be worse than what soldiers go through on the whole. So saying that is should not be used to help someone whose been tortured by a spouse or parent is like denying that pain... guaranteed no pill can erase that.
Anyway. there is some good that can be done with most things in this life. If a pill will help a person do the necessary reliving to get the memories to process to the correct part of the brain, and make a person's life better, then it is worth giving it a try after proper studies are done. The mode of action and method of effect should be considered individually for each patient.
~Cindi | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:06:48 PM |
can tell you first hand that these reliving memories are very real and very difficult to deal with. Pills help with a lot of the symptoms that become very elevated during this treatment, but they don't work on some things...
Yes, Cindi - it is very difficult and I absolutely agree that medication in these circumstances is warranted to maintain the brain's chemical balance - else one would in concept drown in the emotional aspect of reliving such traumas. Much different scenario than the OT of an easy way to purge bad memories. Bad memories still have to have resolution - purging them, IMO, won't result in resolution nor realistically leads to healing. I see it more as an interruption or disruption in the healing process which is crucial, also IMO, in working through PTSD. Yes, I would agree that PTSD resulting from family trauma is must worse in that it's roots are generally in childhood, compounded further by traumas experienced in adulthood. The journey, however long and painful, is one well worth taking in the bigger picture of having a better life. Also, IMO.
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:15:05 PM | Sounds like a cop out pill to hide from your own feelings. Just what Americans want.
I bet they sell millions then the pill company gets sited in huge law suites for causing an Alzheimer's epidemic.
I'll keep my trauma, thank you.
J Mac | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories or is it?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:31:31 PM | Miss Eyre,
Your compassion for the human condition humbles me. For anyone who has suffered we can only console them with the adage that endured suffering creates a strong Character or without that suffering we would be a different person. We often assume that it is the suffering that has made a person as compassionate or as gentle as they are, but we do not know this nor can we. The person who suffered has lost something, the freedom to 'be' without the scars that now define them. Who knows what one would do without those, but one thing is certain, those scars do change a person.
A person is not free when they are coping. They cannot 'be' but only be shadows of themselves. They have been indoctrinated by pain and have an intimate relationship with pain and all that triggers it. Sure spiritualists try to give meaning to such things by providing structure and ritual however i have found such a path to only add to the pain.
By taking a person out of any cycles that trigger such memories and states of mind a person finds a sense of self beyond but even then we do not live in such a vacuum and we once again live in a state which we seemingly cannot escape. Would we be different without our experiences? Are we our personalities (predictable coping skills)? Or are we beyond these things and can only access our true nature without being in coping systems?
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:05:55 PM | i don't think it be healthy but to help understand how to deal with it could be good...but medication is turning out to sugar coat issues causing them to become worse the longer your on them....i rather not forget my bad memories...those memories make you who you are now...they have taught you what not to do and whats the best for you....why willing take that away just to learn the hard way again??
wouldn't be me...i have all kinds of bad memories but never would want to forget them since they have taught me a lot about whats best for me now....i'm sure others would rather take the bad memories as a learning experience as well depending how serious it is.. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:17:58 PM |
Why in sam's hell would you suggest something as ridiculous as this? o.O
Either you 'get it' or you 'don't'
you 'don't'.
You obviously watched Matrix in reverse
You are obviously a "Think INSIDE the box" thinker.
Your type is about as rare as cookie dough in a cookie factory. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:19:10 PM |
The person who suffered has lost something, the freedom to 'be' without the scars that now define them
That person has also gained IF they have the courage within themselves to heal. I disagree with this concept of "victim mentality" which is how I perceive the quoted statement. It is precisely that kind of thinking that keeps the victimized victims as it empowers the perpetrators of the original trauma far beyond the scope of the original traumatic event, long after the perps as such are dust in the wind. | |
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| Twenty ways to purge melancholy
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:19:35 PM | Sydney Smith, Letter to Georgiana Morpeth (Feb. 16, 1820):
Dear Lady Georgiana,
Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have done—so I feel for you. Here are my prescriptions.
1st. Live as well as you dare.
2nd. Go into the shower-bath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75° or 80°.
3rd. Amusing books.
4th. Short views of human life—not further than dinner or tea.
5th. Be as busy as you can.
6th. See as much as you can of those friends who respect and like you.
7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.
8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely—they are always worse for dignified concealment.
9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.
10th. Compare your lot with that of other people.
11th. Don't expect too much from human life—a sorry business at the best.
12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy, sentimental people, and every thing likely to excite feeling or emotion, not ending in active benevolence.
13th. Do good, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.
14th. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.
15th. Make the room where you commonly sit gay and pleasant.
16th. Struggle by little and little against idleness.
17th. Don't be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.
18th. Keep good blazing fires.
19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.
20th. Believe me, dear Lady Georgiana, Very truly yours,—Sydney Smith | |
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| Twenty ways to purge melancholy
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:38:07 PM | Yoodle what a lovely letter that was. People wonder sometimes why others keep feverishly busy, and become driven "high achievers"; I think distraction has a very positive effect in managing melancholy of any cause.
I also favour learning the ability to disassociate, a severing of experiencing the emotion or physical pain by learning to self distance and observe. It is very effective, it becomes stronger with repeated application and becomes easier to do over time. Apparently even disassociation techniques have some sort of drawback, it certainly numbs pain but I don't know what the downside actually is.
You can also teach yourself to erase memory on a daily basis, in my case my intentions were selective and have remained permanent. I did ten years, there are gaps lost but I remain glad they are completely missing from any recall. Sometimes our concious intentions are the best friend we can ever have. One very simple method is to repeat on any unwelcome memory or trigger the mantra: "I wish to heal". This method recognises you cannot think two things at once and directs a "reprogram" for your mind.
A pill is wonderful for the more extreme examples of those who have suffered horrific experiences, thankfully few of us can imagine real life horror. Thank God some poor people will have an opportunity to restart their lives with a simpler plate. I disagree negative events are "character building", they are only "character building" where the person has seen themselves overcome something successfully. Some things are actually insurmountable, they just damage and destroy. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:49:13 PM | Regarding the memory erasing pill... in spite of the overwhelming desire to forget the bad relationship, I would forego the pill.
Not because I didn't want to forget the bad... but because I choose to examine the relationship to decifer what 'good' I could take with me. If we can take the 'good' from our experience, romantic or otherwise, we continue to grow... and growth is good and vital to being a healthy individual.
So the guy lied to me, said he loved me, would love me forever, yada, yada, yada. Who knows, he may have convinced himself of that fact, he certainly convinced me! But when it is all said and done and I am standing there holding my broken heart... I am best served by examining the entire situation to discover what I have learned by the experience.
It could be that 'what sounds too good to be true, usually is,' or it could be that I needed to take a long look at this guy to see what it was that left me with an uneasy feeling deep inside... he was too convincing, too soon, too controlling, too eager... and I need to keep that lesson with me as reference for future relationships. Don't let the experience be a 'total loss.' Prefer to learn from it so you don't keep repeating the mistake.
So I realized that I needed to accept responsibility for buying his lies... it could be that I needed to hear that I was still loveable, I needed too much, too soon, just as much as he was dishing it out. In retrospect I see that 'I needed to value myself more.' For how is someone to love us if we don't feel we are 'loveable?' It ain't gonna happen! So, in my anger, I realize that I am 'worthy' of love... that I am of value and I need to give myself credit for that.
However, it could be that we need to reinforce boundaries in our lives, or that we need to loosen them, depending on the situation. It could be that we aren't quite as ready for 'the one' as we had fantacized. It could be that we are quite happy in our 'single lifestyle,' or that we realized we needed someone who wasn't as 'clingy,' as 'domineering,' as 'suffocating' in our life.
You get the message... it helps deflate the negativity and allows us to examine the situation to determine something we can take with us so that it is not a total loss.
JMHO (just my humble opinion) but it works for me! | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:52:35 PM | Either you 'get it' or you 'don't'
To quote a sage man, once again:
Mr.Incognito:
you 'don't'.
....get sarcasm.
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:54:59 PM | Msg 68 - Very well stated, IMO.
Too often, it is forgotten that life and learning is a process - not an event. We learn or we don't. We don't learn - we tend to repeat until we are willing to learn and accept responsibility for our portion of contribution.
Well said. Tex Angel. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:56:29 PM | what would happen to country and western music ..??
no pill ,,there are enough people on anti depressants who have no up and down feelings ,,add the ones with no memories and you have zombies..no thanks .. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 3:12:50 PM | | A pill to heal a broken heart, sounds almost to good to be true. I would hope that it was used in the ways it was suppose to be, but I can say I may be tempted to use it to heal my broken heart if that was ever the case. Loosing a loved one in death or after a very long period of time can be very painful and it is something I have wished i could forget. So a pill that can help do that would be a good thing | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:34:11 PM | | There is a form of therapy called REDT that is highly successful with this and only takes a very short time. I have seen it work for many, and not work for few. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:14:38 PM | | Forgive the pun, but I am not buying it. I remember a case from the late 60's in which a man would have occasions of uncontrolable sobbing for no reason. He was also have trouble functioning in normal life. He could give no explanation for his sudden mental illness. It turned out that he was a holocaust survivor and he had forced himself to forget the horrors he had seen. He lived in Europe so his psychiatrist could and did prescribe LSD to help him remember. It was not until he began to remember that he was able to deal with depression. | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:21:56 PM | Nope. Me would not takey takey the pill to "purge" memories of a relationship gone bad...You see if I did not have the knowledge of what made that relationship go south which is actually a good thing in retrospect then I would be destined to repeat the same mistakes ~ and then what take a pill for THAT relationship and the one after and the one after that? Nahhh, no thanks I think I will choose learning from my mistakes and making things better the next go round.
Now mind you, I am only answering the last part of this question - the one where the OP asks: "Imagine this pill does become readily available...would you take it to help you forget about a relationship gone bad?" | |
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| an easy way to purge bad memories
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:29:50 PM | LMFAO @ ~Myth~ and look at me getting all deep...ya, an easy way to take care of bad memories of a past relationship is like a 6 pack - BOB - and fresh batteries!!! HEY NOW! LOL...
We will continue with our regular scheduled programming...This is test...this is only a test... | |
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