| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 6:28:05 AM | I was asked by a man on here to be exclusive so I did take my profile off. This was the wrong thing evidently because he kept his on the site. Not only that but was attending events and telling me he was working out of town.
When I realized the relationship had changed I asked what was wrong and got that he was tired from work. Then 4 days later I ger an email saying he was breaking up with me. Continued with the lies and didn't tell me the truth.
Now I really don't want to have my profile on the site. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 2:55:12 PM | YES!! I understand that people make friends that they want to stay in touch with on here.
But for myself if I started dating someone my profile would be gone. I have a hard enough time just trying to not be confused by 1 woman. Staying in touch with several would most likely cause a brain overload LOL.
One good Woman is all I request. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 3:20:50 PM | I wait for that day.... patiently.... ya right. Hell yeah, i'd delete faster than you could say delete. All he has to say is I want you and you only, then delete his, and im gone, see ya never, im taken, hallelullah!!! To be honest, I don't understand why men stay on here if they are interested in a woman. Get the heck off of here and make it work. You can never develop anything while on a dating site, it creates mistrust, jealousy, and for sure you are showing that you aren't ready to commit to one person.
I do not want to be here, and I don't want him to be here, but what can you do if he stays. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 5:10:00 PM | I guess that the thing I wonder about....Let's just for the sake of clarity say that you're in a relationship with someone and it is NOT a long-distance thing so, you actually do spend a fairly large portion of your free time together okay? (I had to put that in there because you know that someone will say, "But what if we live really far away from one another...blah, blah, blah") I'm the kind of person who puts a lot of time and effort into my relationships. I want to spend my free time WITH that person, getting to know one another even better, doing things WITH them even if it's just sitting at home watchin' a movie!!! I don't see where I would have the time OR the inclination to be hangin' out with my computer when there's a real, live, flesh-and-blood MAN who wants to be with me.....that just doesn't seem to make sense. And while the forums are great and can be fun....why not grab a handful of those same questions and ask the person that you're falling in love with (or already HAVE fallen in love with!) those same questions??? I think that could be a lot of fun....some night when you're just sitting there and talking about "things" to ask your SO what they think about some of the sorts of issues or questions that you maybe used to enjoy posting in forums about. It just seems to me that there are a dozens of different that you can do so that you're working on forming a lasting relationship rather than keeping your typing skills in top form!
I guess that means that my answer is you bet I would either delete or hide (or whatever it is that you do, having never done that before?!...lol...) my profile because I'd have no need to be here. And if I felt like I was really going to have computer withdrawl or somethin' silly like that??? Well, gosh, how bout writing emails to the new love in your life? Or writing letters to your friends and family or whomever.....those people that you might start to neglect now that you're in a relationship? (You know, if you always used to go out with your other single friends on Friday nights and you don't do that anymore....write to them! Or, for the fuys ~ if you and the guys always got together to play poker and you don't anymore cuz you're with your new g/f....well, send them a darn email with a bunch of jokes you've heard or ANYthing) Use the computer for all the things that you thought you would before you became obsessed with finding someone and try using it for that once again! Try using it for creative things that might be fun for BOTH of you....Or am I the only person who thinks like that??? I sure hope not...best of luck to eveyone though, right?!   | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 5:15:31 PM | and um.....maybe I'd learn how to quit making typos too, while I was at it???...lol...(sorry about all the typos in my above posting....when there's a topic that I'm really getting into, I tend to forget all about making sure I've fixed and mistakes! Heeheehee....)   | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 5:52:13 PM | I think you are right Lekitty.
I am here mainly for the forums, if I happen to bump into someone in cyber space, then lucky old me... just think that it opens up the chance of meeting someone. The internet dating thing is great because lots of things can be understood about someone from the outset.
I think what I find tricky about that internet dating stuff though is that it is like going into a massive sweetie shop, and sometimes it is difficult for people to stop looking, just incase something better comes along.
I find that if I am talking with someone, about serious stuff, getting to know them, well I can only do that with one person... at a time,... and I don't mean talk to one for half an hour ... and then shut the chat window and talk to someone else... I wouldn't do that in real life, so I try not to do that here.
But many people.. men ... seem to. If I am getting into someone... then I can only do that exchange of personal stuff and ideas with that one person.
I am not saying that it should be totally exclusive, if someone messages me about the forums then that is just a contact due to that, but I could not manage to seriously chat with someone and then move on to do the same with someone else.
Maybe I am old-fashioned in my approach... but I just think that is would get messy if I am trying to chat with many people quite seriously throughout the day. I know it... cos I did it a couple of years ago... and it didn't make me feel very good either... felt like an internet tart. Not that I was... just think that I was not serious, and so it was not fair on the other people.
As for when to remove your profile. Well I think that if you meet someone and are seeing them and your relationship is growing well... it is a must to remove your profile... unless you clearly show them what you are up to, if you were to be involved in writing on the forums.
Think that there is too much temptation for all involved... and a bit of self-control is required.
There are so many strange people on the internet and I think if you come across a good person, and you hit it off... get on.. and something substantial is happening, in the real world, then you should keep that special relationship, cherish it... and get off all dating sites as soon as possible!
Why would anyone continue to be on a dating site, unless they are looking to meet other people.
Here is a temporary place, nice to exchange ideas... but not real life. It is a great place to try and bump into that special someone that we may be looking for... but it's not real life... unless you can feel their breath on your face, and see the whites of their eyes!
So off-line is best, and a must if you find your soulmate... any how you will have too much to do with your new found friend to be online! ...Lucky you! | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 6:29:59 PM | Seems as though this is a hot topic as there is one similar on this forum. In any event, if you "find" someone and you have discussed or words have been said to the effect that the two of you are going to give this new relationship a chance and BE exclusive to each other, I have a difficult time understanding just WHY either one of the parties would want to stay on a dating site. At the very least, you should post something in your profiles, at the very LEAST, at the beginning for ALL to see when they "veiw" you that you are suspending "fishing" due to the fact that I wrote of above.
To see, the other person "fishing" causes feelings to be hurt at the very least. Tell me? What would think if you saw the other person there with IM functioning? When you have JUST discussed pursuing a relationship? I'd like to know? -tilts head-
Now, that being said, maybe this person was clearing out their email box, or doing some such other "housecleaning" there. Possible and probable. But the fact remains it can put a knot in your stomach just seeing that (IM functioning especially). Then, if you ask the other person about it they might THINK you have trust issues or are "spying" or jealous or whatever the case might be. But you're not. When you witness that, it's more of a "feelings hurt" type of emotion.
Now, as far as wanting to BE on here for the forums? That's a "crock". Unless you are addicted to these sites. Why on earth would you even want to be, when you have finally "found" someone. These sites can become addictive to some people I have heard. Find another forum to "be on" somewhere on the Internet. Not a dating site. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 8:22:40 PM | | Although I love the forums (honestly it's my fav part of the site) I would so be gone from here if I found my special someone...but my hope is that the interesting conversations I get on here would be replaced by interesting conversations between us. Or perhaps we could log on together for conversation topics - then both would know when and why the other is doing so. I never wanted to meet someone online because I didn't want someone who was savy at it...it's hard to tell if they are loyal and not looking for others without becoming an online stalker! I'm a very loyal person and a one-man woman so when I find someone I like I don't really care to chat with others even if it's not at that relationship stage. Some say I am limiting myself and perhaps missing my "Mr. Right" but I think it's hard to really give a relationship a running start if you are entertaining other offers. Now having said that, during my last relationship (who I met from here) I did continue to log in for the forums and didn't change my profile but I had a bad feeling about his level of commitment all the way along so something inside said not to do so. I did however gave it all of my attention and lots of effort to see if it was something - but in hind sight I should have listened to that voice more, it's almost never wrong. During that time though I did not have personal contact with others and told new suiters that I was seeing someone and not interested in pursuing something else at that time. Personally I can't wait to get off this site and have someone to spend my time with rather then reading other peoples opinions on random topics. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/23/2008 8:38:46 PM | | I like the forums but if I were in a committed relationship, I would be gone. I thought it was kind of crazy when someone added me to his favorites after he changed his profile to reflect that he was in a relationship and the new pic was of both of them. He didn't have me on his favorites before. We had never talked and still haven't and of course I wouldn't now anyway. | |
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