| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:21:06 PM |
If you STAY on a dating site, that tells me you are definitely STILL checking out the 'merchandize' and wondering if there isn't someone out there that's better then the person you are currently involved with.
Not necessary. I am not single and I am not looking, and I am positively not wondering if there is someone out there that's better than the person I am with.
If you ONLY go into dating sitess for the forums, be VERY clear about that also. It will eliminate any misunderstandings others may have as to why you are here.
When I was single, I was on this and another dating site. When I was sure that I've met the woman of my dreams, I promptly deleted my profile on the other site (which was straightly for dating only) and changed my status here to 'not single/not looking'. I have no misunderstanding why I am on here, and I don't expect others to either.
If you muddle it up with continued visits to dating sites, regardless of the reasons, you'll never succeed in having a serious relationship with any one other then your own PC. Is that what you really want?????????
We all have different hobbies. Some like to browse the flea markets while others may like to hang out at book stores. I like to come here to the forums and read about other people's ideas and opinions. This is my hobby and I find it entertaining. In fact, I often invite my g/f to come on here to check out the ridiculous things that people have to say. When it comes down to it, it's really all about trust. I trust my judgment and I trust my loyalty towards my g/f, and so does she. If a person has the intention to cheat, dating sites are not the only avenue to do so. And I certainly would not make the statement that frequent visits to this site will cause one to never succeed in having a serious relationship with anyone other than your own PC. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2008 2:00:58 PM | | Doesn't hurt to look. However, people may have a few dating sites online that are old and dusty and may forget to take them down, or log in from time to time to delete it. I believe that instead of taking it completely off, you should just add in that you have found your SO. That way, if you've come accustomned to the forums and chatrooms etc. you can pop in and say your peice, talk to friends and move on til next time. You don't know how long the relationship will/can last, so you don't have to put up the trouble of making a new one. I highly doubt that one relationship will change you too much. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2008 3:30:45 PM | Of course and I have. I was using a few dating sites and have since closed my accounts. I'm still with POF simply for the Forums and I have it in my profile that I am currently dating and have No desire to date anybody else.
With POF you can't say you're just looking for friends without having to choose male or female for your friends. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:12:35 AM |
ubetimreal wrote: If you STAY on a dating site, that tells me
you are definitely STILL checking out the 'merchandize' and
wondering if there isn't someone out there that's better than
the person you are currently involved with.
It certainly could mean that. Some people keep their options
open and don't call off the search until they're engaged to be married.
Nothing immoral or improper about it as long as they're open and
honest with everybody about what they're doing. | |
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jlynnh
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Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 336 | |
| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 8:40:10 AM | I would stop fishing and I did when I was on here the first time. My man suggested that we both do that and I had no problem with that. I didn't miss anything about this place! Sad part is even though it was his idea, he was still on other dating sites checking his emails!!! uughhh!!!
I ended our relationship and after a few months came back and made a new profile. Then I ended up deleting that. I am mainly here for just the forums now. I do answer emails that I get from men and have actually met a couple so far.
The whole thing is, after what happened it does make me a little leery to be on here and meet men. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:05:49 AM | Anyone - and I mean anyone who remains on a single site after they are hitched into a relationship
IS STILL LOOKING AND STILL HOPING TO FIND LOVE.
Why would you put yourself through this if you were happy and secure?
NOPE THEY STILL FISHING AND HOPING AND SENDING MESSAGES AND POSTING THREADS HOPING SOMEONE WILL SPOT IT AND MESSAGE THEM.
Just a thought.  | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:45:32 AM | I would absolutely..no questions asked, leave the site if I found someone special. I believe to stay on would be an indication to the other person, I wasn't serious about the relationship...so, out of respect I would let POF go. I would have to ask myself which is more important, the forums, or the person I'm involved with.
Sunnie | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 1:35:10 PM | I think the operative word in the OP's question is - SERIOUS relationship.
DAVID LEWIS wrote: Some people keep their options open and don't call off the search until they're engaged to be married. Nothing immoral or improper about it as long as they're open and honest with everybody about what they're doing.
In my opinion if it's serious, that tells me both parties have found in each other that which they have been seeking in a mate and have now moved onto the next step of being 'exclusive'.
Whether their intent is to get engaged then married, isn't the issue here. It simply means they have found what they were looking for in a partner, NO longer feel the need to continue their search and are intent on making a wholehearted effort to see if this relationship can or will lead to something permanent.
When people keep their "options open", that only tells me they are almost EXPECTING something to happen that will cause the relationship to fail, or perhaps subconsiously, they hope it does.
If 2 people are serious about making a relationship work, both need to focus on the 'task at hand' and NOT let outside influences get in the way. That's how I see it anyway. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 4:32:45 PM | ubetimreal wrote: In my opinion if it's serious, that tells
me both parties have found in each other that which they
have been seeking in a mate and have now moved on to
the next step of being 'exclusive'.
Nothing wrong with that. However, some people who are
in serious relationships aren't exclusive. As long as you're
not harming, manipulating, misleading or deceiving others
you're free to pursue whatever relationship format works
best for you.
When people keep their "options open", that only tells me
they are almost EXPECTING something to happen that
will cause the relationship to fail, or perhaps subconsiously,
they hope it does.
Something might also happen that improves your relationship.
For example, an upgrade or addition to your harem. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 7:42:34 PM | Absolutely. This is a dating sight.
Dating is not something one should do when in a relationship. To do so means that you are not serious about the other person at all.
I know many of us get hooked on the forums etc. but there are plenty of other hobby sites to socialize on that aren't based around dating.
To continue on a dating site when with someone would also have a tendancy to cause issues with trust in most people. While small in the begining, this can have serious problems later. Aren't serious relationships all about trust, respect and mutual caring after all. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:01:42 PM |
syscojoe wrote: Dating is not something one should do
when in a relationship. To do so means that you are not
serious about the other person at all.
I'm glad your way works for you but it may not
automatically be the best thing for everybody else.
The topic question asks what YOU would do.
Telling others what they should do is a different thread. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:47:43 AM | | Yes mostly definitely I would leave this site! There would be no reason for me to be on here! No I would mostly certainly not have personal contact with other men. Again there would be no need to do so and besides it would be cheating. I'd have my significant other to talk to thus no need to chat with other men. I would expect the same respect from my significant other. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:21:57 AM | gorko wrote:
****** Myself, I would say an absolute yes on the personal contact, but I would really miss the forums and all the interesting questions and answers that are posed. I can't say for sure being it has not happened as of yet, but I do believe that if I did find that special gal, my profile would disappear. At the very least I would change the personal status of looking for someone. I think I would be more than a little uncomfortable if I continued, even if my gal was completely aware of it. ******
The men I've dated in the past who I've been exclusive with, never got off the personals. That was a HUGE slap in the face. It denotes you're still looking and even if you change your status or what you're looking for, you're still leaving yourself open to meet people. If I ever get into an exclusive relationship again, either his profile is gone, or I am. I'm not into playing those kinds of games.
The moment myself and the other person decide to be exclusive, my profiles on the personals are gone (not just hidden or status changed), and any website I have will have a pic of he and I, and you can bet everyone knows I'm taken.
It's only fair. In order to give a relationship the best chance, the last thing you want to do is make the other person feel insecure by staying on a dating site.
Sharzi | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/11/2008 3:35:44 AM | Dating site? What dating site? I'm on a dating site? 
Now that I've discovered the forums, I really would like to stay. Although, I would read/comment from time to time, I'd hide my profile and change my status. I'm extremely monogamous, so being here wouldn't tempt me. Of course, all of this is provided I have time to be messing about online. Between my other responsibilities and my social life with and without my SO, I doubt I would have as much time...so I'd be here less, I guess. *shrugs shoulders* | |
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