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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/9/2008 5:31:14 AM | The only reason I am on a dating site is to find someone who is also seeking a long term relationship. I wish I could find someone: I would be off these single sites in a heartbeat! My life is filled with family and friends: why would I want to sit at a keyboard to chat when I can do that in three dimensional space ? These meet sites are great for finding encouragement, but I am not so sure about actually finding someone. If there were a singles group at a local level I would probably do that instead of going on line.
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:47:55 AM |
Absolutely; Do you think it would be healthy that 5-10 times a day as you walk around your job or doing your daily things you flirted with someone? Its disrespectful. Forums are fine, but flirting with the opposite sex is totally wrong. I dont know how many married women try to talk to me and have cyber sex but say its ok cuz their husband knows. Many times they dont. I'm not stupid. Everyone that thinks your just going to do the forums though, please stand on your head. No one is standing on their head.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Too many use these forums as an excuse to stay here. Bottom line is that this is a singles site. I am not standing on my head!! | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:00:07 AM | | I think I answered this previously that I would not, because I was only participating in POF for the forums anyway, and my profile already states that. But now that I am getting serious with someone offline, it occurs to me that I no longer have an interest in talking about relationships. I'm more interested in investing my energy directly into the relationship I have. Also, I find the POF community's tendency to relate about men and women in sweeping generalizations not to be something uplifting in my life. I think my relationship will do much better if I'm not exposed to the cynicism of the POF forums anymore, so yes, I am leaving. I've learned some valuable things from having participated here, and I'm glad the forums exist. You just have to know when to leave. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:55:07 AM | If I found a serious relationship, I would definitely stop all kinds of direct communication through dating sites. I will admit though, that I had a POF account while I was dating and married to my STBX husband. At that time, I had no profile and only read the forums. Every once in a while I would post about a red flag or situation that bothered me. Unfortunately, the advice I received at that time justified my staying. I knew in my head that something was wrong, but others advised that I not be so upset about it, so despite my head, I used the advice as an excuse to forgive my husband. I had a different e-mail and user name then. But a few days ago, I looked up my old posts and felt like a real idiot for ignoring the red flags back then!
My current account, I opened about a week after the first time I saw a divorce attorney. I had already tried to leave my abusive husband several times, and that time I was determined. Then, he apologized and we tried again to make it work. I didn't actually start building my profile until a couple days ago. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:00:09 AM | | Saying you are here only for the forums has about as much truth to it as i only buy Playboy for the articles. This is a dating site. The only reason to stay here after being in a serious relationship is to see whom else is out there. Sticking around after being involved is clearly a red flag. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:15:35 AM |
Saying you are here only for the forums has about as much truth to it as i only buy Playboy for the articles. This is a dating site. The only reason to stay here after being in a serious relationship is to see whom else is out there. Sticking around after being involved is clearly a red flag.
I disagree. I never used POF as a dating site until a few days ago. There are forums here for dating and relationship advice. Why would you need relationship advice if you weren't already in a relationship? I definitely wasn't looking for anyone, but I definitely did need advice on the relationship I was in and I wanted to do it anonymously without telling my then fiancé's secrets to people I actually knew. I searched around for relationship advice forums AFTER I was involved, and this was the most active and helpful community by far. At that time, I was too caught up in my future husband to care about anyone but him.
And oddly enough, I as a straight woman have purchased a copy of Playboy for an article. They interviewed a musician I liked and I wanted to read it. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:32:37 AM | "Saying you are here only for the forums has about as much truth to it as i only buy Playboy for the articles"
I DO read Playboy for the articles. It is a pretty good publication put together by people who know what they are doing. Hugh Hefner's politics are just about identical to mine and the articles address issues that concern me. The pictures are nothing. I have the Internet. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:36:16 AM |
I just have to ask. If you found your "someone", would you continue to send emails, IM, etc. with others of the opposite sex? Would you stop fishing? Come on, let's hear the honest truth on this one. I'm more than a little curious about what people have to say on this.
YES i would leave the dating site. However if i made friends as in really good friends with some of the people here, i would give them my personal emails to catch up on eachothers lives. But id make sure there are no other intentions. Only fair to my new partner. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:45:17 AM | | The Playboy line was an (somewhat feeble, apparently) attempt at humor. The analogy, however, applies as that was the line glibly used in a bygone era - somewhat sarcastically by people who did not buy Playboy for the articles. I would bet that less than 1% of POF users are forum posters so i will stick to my original answer which i think applies to the other 99+% of the people here. I also do not recall seeing any forums on Match.com or other dating sites - which is what the OP specified. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:16:29 PM | | When I find that special someone, I'll definitely hide my profile and change my ''looking for'' status to ''not single - not looking'' but I will likely continue to read and post in forums simply because I enjoy doing so. I'll not deal with an insecure and jealous man so posting in the forums should not be a problem. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:42:31 AM | Hmmm been two months yesterday since I posted my first reply.....still shaking head as to why so many of you do not beilieve that an individual can participate in a "dating site" without "looking for something", I am here posting regularly in the poems and have "single" friends there that feel encouraged by the love and breathing that I share about my life............is that hurting anyone or being deceitful? NO!!! Through the postings I have found, I've learned more about myself of past, present and future situations, that I honestly do not think, I would've if I hadn't continued to stay here!!! It is a matter of importance to me, to relinquish the past pain from my life, so I may have a better relationship that will last with another and self.
Doesn't it take water to grow something or to extinguish a fire???
I am sure that I will never regret staying on POF or that it will cause any problems within my stable relationship.
Good Luck to you All that are still look'n!!! | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:48:36 AM | Well I would only get into a relationship if I knew it was totally the right one, and if I had made that decission then I would have absolutely no need to keep fishing, defeats the object really.
Yes I would miss the forums and gossip and people I have become friends with on here, so if my new partner was agreeable then I would just stay on here, change my profile to NOT SINGLE/NOT LOOKING and then there is no problem, its all a matter of trust, and if I was in a relationship then it would be based on trust anyway.
If my partner was not agreeable then I would have to question the trust they had in me really. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:24:53 PM | | I found someone I love and care for, but the thing is, he is prison til October 2008 and I continue to get 0n this to meet friends. I keep my boundries and know when its a good situation or a bad...If the guy automatically starts talking about sex..I don't reply but if he talks about other stuff then I am fine. | |
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