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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:33:31 AM | I have deleted my profile a few times already now. When I meet some one, and we start to date and see each other on a regular basis, I politely email anyone I may have been chatting with at the time and tell them I am no longer on the market and wish them luck on there search.
Though I have yet to meet a girl that extends the same courtesy.
And I must say, that once you email a girl and tell them you found some one, they will never talk to you again. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:45:37 AM | Bralda,
So seeing as how you've done this a few times aren't you shooting yourself in the foot? You not only scare away any future prospects but also any friends you made unless you were emailing them and then I think that'd be really rude on your part. If someone I was friends with and not making any romantic advances at emailed me and said "I met someone, so I won't be emailing you anymore......sorry" and then just quit I'd be a little perturbed. I'm a friend, not a fcuk buddy! Why not alter your profile and/or just stop checking it but continue emailing your friends? Email friends or real life friends are really no different, and if a woman had a problem with me having friends I'd have a problem with her being my gf. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:07:18 PM | deuce,
It's just a personal preference. The conflict which arises is the nature of the beast...just is what it is. People want to trust their partner and be trusted by their partner. Some will go so far as to say, "Well if you can't trust me with this, then you're not for me." That's understandable and their choice. Others would just as soon eliminate it altogether as a potential issue for mistrust and ensuing conflict. Understandable as well. To each their own and whatever works for them and they're comfortable with.
My reason would be because this is "Plenty of Fish...the only, free on-line DATING website". If there were friends I gained, I would email them from my aol account...not through a dating website. Too many horror stories of on-line affairs, etc. I would make that sacrifice for the one I love and for myself, as well. I know, I know the potential still exists as long as there's a computer in the home. If a person is going to cheat, they'll find a way (computer or not). It's a hard one to call. The only right answer is the one that works for each. But that's JMO. 
~ds~ | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:38:29 PM | I've found a wonderful man 7 months ago here and the relationship is very serious, but I do still pop in now & again to read the forums. We both still have our PoF accounts, as we use it to get messages to each other when he is at work. He's unable to access his regular e-mail at work. We both have our profiles on 'hide' so neither of us gets messages from any other users.
A friend asked me this morning IF it came down to it & he ever proposed marriage to me (not that it's my goal - I was of the mind set to never marry again until I met this beautiful man!) but IF he did (and I am pretty certain I would say YES!) I would delete my profile altogether! Then I would activate a new account JUST to continue being able to contact him at work. Hahaha!!
I am not interested in any other man, so I am not here fishing these days. Just reading the forums, which I did get a little active with for a short time.
Honestly though, as far as sending e-mails to men on here, I stopped after I began seeing this man & I think it's only fair to expect that he has also stopped messaging other women or receiving emails from them through PoF. So I would say that it should stop & the only activity you should expect to see from the person you are seeing would be the odd posting in the forums.
Just my two cents worth!!
Hope this helps! Good luck fishing!!
 Dee | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:55:32 PM | | Yes, I would. On my profile I mention that I found someone that is looking for the same type of relationship. I plan on giving this sometime before I totally delete my profile. But I will hide it so that no one new can contact me. I would expect that person to at least hide their profile as well. I would not ask them to delete their profile just in case it did not work out, however would be very happy if they would hide their profile from being viewed . It shows that they are not looking anymore and I find that just being respectful and giving that relationship a chance without tempation per say. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:09:19 PM | ABSOLUTELY!!! Faster than a speeding bullet.
....and not just hide it...but DELETE IT. I actually did just that when I thought I'd met Mr. Forever a few months ago...he deleted his as well. Obviously that didn't work out, but at least we knew during that time that we were exclusive and there was no other fishing going on.
In terms of the forums...there are a lot of great groups and forums on the web that aren't dating websites. In terms of any friends on the site, I would send them my direct email if I wanted to stay in touch.
You're either out or you're in....there is no halfway IMHO.
Rose Mary | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:48:10 PM | Okay, the way the question was stated: "Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?"
I would have to say "Yes & No".
When my boyfriend & I got together 2 & 1/2 years ago, I was on over 40 other free sites. (my list now has over
100!) I changed my profile here to "Not Single/Not Looking" & specified looking for: Friends. They don't have a
category yet, "for forums only". Maybe someday
I deleted my profile on all the other sites except myspace. One thing I really like about chatting with people here,
is if I am having a problem remembering them, I can click on their profile & refresh my memory. Yahoo & MSN
have profile pages yes, but in my experience, very few people bother to fill them out. And not everyone has MSN
or Yahoo messenger.
My boyfriend knows I am here, quote often we will be sitting on adjacent computers, him working on something,
me chatting away with a friend. He has no problem with it. And I did discuss it with him first, to make certain he
was okay with it. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 3:10:13 PM | | It would only make sence that one you have found your potential mate that you would not want to be on a dating site, or continue to date. I can understand keeping friends that you have made, but other than that I think it would be a good start to delete your profile on any dating site | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 3:39:51 PM | | Definitely would, if I am ever to find that special someone I would have no problem. Now, mind you with his permission I might keep up the profile only as friendship and clearly state that it's friends. He can have my password as well. Or is that didn't sit right, I would arrange through the many friends I have made on her to get alternate contact and delete my profile. Now I sit and wait | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:03:53 PM | | I finally met someone after a year. We are moving in together. I updated my profile accordingly. I hope it lasts, and I don't feel a need to talk to anyone else on a romantic level as long as we are together. On the other hand, she is a bit young so if the relationship ends, back into the dating pool we go. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:23:06 PM | I would Absolutely, without a doubt, stop fishing. I love the forums so I couldnt stop those.
If we were brand new, I think Id leave the profiles up but I would NOT visit them. If we were committed, Id pull every dating profile online. Period. The End. Im a one man woman and I would not do anything to jeopardize 'us'. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:02:33 PM | | haha funny! read my profile! I met the love of my life off here! I left and closed my account. Opened another just for the forums. I dont get tempted, I dont have pictures up which pretty much keeps all men away. No one bothers me with no pictures. I dont look at anyone I just read the forums. So its possible. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:23:51 PM | All the rationalizations from people against removing their profiles are disingenuous at best.
1. There are other non-dating sites which have forums (for you forum-addicts)
2. Use regular email to keep in contact with your "friends"
3. If it doesn't work out, you can re-create your profile in 10 minutes.
Why would you risk your and your SO's peace of mind by staying here? Use that time to create a REAL RELATIONSHIP with a REAL person. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:50:07 PM | Yes, I would leave the dating sites because I joined the dating sites for meeting a person to date. As soon as this has happened, staying on the dating site is of no practical use any more. It might even anger the partner or make her/him jealous.
You wouldn't go to the auto repair after you sold your car, would you? ;) | |
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