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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:03:58 AM | I'm not on any "dating sites" besides PoF.
If I were in a serious relationship... I'd maybe still come here for the forums, like I do now, BUT BUT BUT BUT it would only be with him sittin' here beside me... a joint profile.... entertainment we share together. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:07:28 AM | To the OP - yes I would leave. What would keep me to stay?? I don't think it would be reasonable to stay. There are plenty of other forums on the Net so why would someone hang around on a dating site with dating being the main topic of discussion?
I do find it interesting that people who are not single (it's mainly women that i've seen) on their profiles say, "I'm only here for the forums", yet have a multitude of flirtatious photos up. Hmm... | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:22:03 AM |
*Jimmy-the-Cat* wrote: I do find it interesting that people
who are not single (it's mainly women that I've seen) on their
profiles say, "I'm only here for the forums", yet have a multitude
of flirtatious photos up. Hmm...
If a more desirable person comes along than what they've got,
presenting themselves in the most flattering light is smart.
It could help them achieve the life of their dreams. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:32:10 AM | What when they are already in a relationship? How does that work? It's not smart it is deceitful. Because deceitful is really attractive trait in a person isn't it?
I am not saying all that are on here - in a relationship - who have the flirty photos up etc are on the look for someone else, but I do tend to judge people by their actions not their words. It does no harm to read between the lines and not accept what someone says at face value.
The forums are hardly that interesting, and there are plenty of forums on the net for all different interests? Catching up with friends? I thought that is why God gave us email adresses... | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:21:51 AM |
*Jimmy-the-Cat* wrote: I do find it interesting that people
who are not single (it's mainly women that I've seen) on their
profiles say, "I'm only here for the forums", yet have a multitude
of flirtatious photos up. Hmm...
David Lewis wrote: If a more desirable person comes along than what they've got, presenting themselves in the most flattering light is smart.
It could help them achieve the life of their dreams.
David - This is exactly what I feel is wrong with people keeping a profile on a dating site after committing to a serious relationship. Thanks for the admission! I would hope all the women with whom you make contact stand up and take notice of your statement. You have basically told every one..."yeah, I'll tell you we're serious and go through the motions, but I'm going to keep on looking for something better". Aren't you a catch for some gal! hahahaha I haven't read your profile, nor do I care to, but all I can say is......WOW. Talk about putting a foot in the mouth. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:32:13 AM | I look forward to the day I leave this dating site for good (no offence POF), and that will happen the moment I realize I'm serious about the person I've become involved with. I enjoy the forums and have met some decent guys, but I'll be SO very happy when the quest ends!
SunnyD | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:36:21 AM | In a heartbeat...once I knew we were officially dating. I dont believe in the games that people play..but on the other hand going out for a couple coffees does not make you a couple...some might disagree...but if I had strong feeling that he could be..the delete button would be pressed in no time...
Now the reason I said , I had to make sure we are a couple is because lets face it girls, we usually are head over heals from the getgo but is the guy...I was in a relationship with a man who after for months found out from a girlfriend was on this site...when checking it out his profile pics were ones that I had taken of him...so dont always assume your in a committed relationship.....
Happy fishing
and no not all men are eels..but dont kid yourself they are out there to and they can be so charming...
Previous experienced | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:47:05 AM | I would yes. But here is a curve ball for the team..... what if your ex offered to "do anything to smooth the waters" just so that you could get back to being friends and you asked him to get off of POF. Not get off of LavaLife but just POF so you didn't have to look at his profile etc.. all the time - you know - fish in another pond. Is that unreasonable?
PS: He has extensive history with LL and only entered into POF pond after we broke up. Just as a wee bit of a perspective. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:55:34 PM | | Isn't that what we are here for to find someone? I love to be able to close my account and be done with online dating. I think thats the problem with online dating it becomes this quest for the perfect person. We let a lot of the good fish that didn't met up with what we wanted go. When in truth they might of been a great fish to date. I think sometime during your life you have to settle for "almost perfect" otherwise you'll be alone forever. I know this guy who been on hundreds of online dates. He said he had this addiction to online dating. He would meet a girl then that night another girl would write him and he lose interest in the one he just met. Because somehow she just didn't measure up to the next girl. He became addicted always thinking the next girl be better. He's online dating became this quest to find this perfect girl but in reality no one is perfect. I think you really need to stop looking for perfection this isn't online shopping where you can keep sending them back. Stay in focus why your here and the real reasons your here. Once I find that guy that really wants a relationship and makes an effort to have that. I won't think twice about leaving the ocean of fish for mine. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:27:39 PM |
I just have to ask. If you found your "someone", would you continue to send emails, IM, etc. with others of the opposite sex? Would you stop fishing? Come on, let's hear the honest truth on this one. I'm more than a little curious about what people have to say on this. ...my profile would disappear. At the very least I would change the personal status of looking for someone. I think I would be more than a little uncomfortable if I continued, even if my gal was completely aware of it.
I deleted my profile when I found a guy here on POF that I truly enjoyed spending time with. I kept my profile active in the beginning stages. Later we talked about being exclusive and I understood that we would be, so I deleted my profile at that point. It didn't feel comfortable at all even just getting emails from other guys on the site, because it felt like I was cheating...and it wasn't fair to the guys who were emailing me because I'd have to tell them that I was in a new relationship.
The relationship didn't work out and I'm back here fishing, but I would do it again..this time, though, I would just hide my profile instead of deleting the current one, until I knew that the relationship was solid.  | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:37:42 PM |
David Lewis wrote: If a more desirable person comes along than what they've got, presenting themselves in the most flattering light is smart.
It could help them achieve the life of their dreams.
I have to say that the guy I met here on POF...and that I'd deleted my profile because of...had kept his profile active and I noticed that he visited the site often even when we were supposed to be exclusive.
I came up with all kinds of excuses for why he'd be visiting the site even when he was supposed to be with me - that he liked the forums - that he lost his pictures of me and was logging on to see me while he was work..lol (I liked that one best)...but I kept returning to the same unsettling thought: he was going out with me until he could find something better.
So I have to agree with David on this point.
And, guess what, the guy did find someone else... maybe not better, because I know I'm a great catch!...but at least someone closer in distance and more convenient.
C'est la vie! | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 5:09:11 PM | I recently confronted a male aquaintence about his being back online, after placing his profile on hold.....he had met an "amazing woman"....so he said, so he placed his profile on hold while they got to know each other. They met in person and have spent some time together at her place. Now I see he is back online (though she is not), and he is chatting it up with other women. He said he does it because he "likes the attention when he is traveling, and enjoys emailing" I think this is HUGE pile of bull, and he is full of it.
WHO in their right mind would stay with someone who continued to surf/flirt/email after committing to a relationship????????
Can you say unfaithful?
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 5:10:08 PM | *Jimmy-the-Cat* wrote: I do find it interesting that people
who are not single (it's mainly women that I've seen) on their
profiles say, "I'm only here for the forums", yet have a multitude
of flirtatious photos up. Hmm...
If a more desirable person comes along than what they've got,
presenting themselves in the most flattering light is smart.
It could help them achieve the life of their dreams.
It has NOTHING to do with finding someone better and EVERYTHING to
do with having fun here chatting with your friends, and participating in the forums.
Here we get to read together and discuss whats going on. Its
Like sitting in a bar watching everything that is going on without the
dating part for us.
You go to a bar, you have a drink right- so does everyone else. Its a single site, yeah
and when I came here I was single and because of this nice site Im not anymore.
And the picture thing- yeah thats me and Im proud of me and thats how I look-
they are not meant to entice, only to show people what the hell I look like and
who I am. If I had no picture it would be another problem for another thread
now wouldnt it.
This is my story- I know crap goes on in life. I have been knee deep in it but dont
start judging and making assumptions that are not true about everyone. | |
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| Would you leave the dating sites if you got in a serious relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:26:44 PM | No matter where you meet someone you choose to be involved with, being here or not being here isn't going to change them or you.
It's just the internet, whether it's a dating site, a chat room or a hobby site. IMO many give the "internet" or a dating site some inherent quality, when it's just a means for people to make contact, interact or gather info...all the other things people do on internet sites.
The internet has never molded or changed anyone's inherent qualities. If anyone thinks so, they're giving a "thing" too much power or using it for an excuse.
People never lied or cheater before there was an internet?  It only facilities certain behaviors, it doesn't CREATE them if they never existed before.
People choose to do what they do, no matter whether they're involved or not. I've been here a few years and involved and not involved, and I'm still the same person.
I do understand that people choose to leave here and devote more of their time and attention to their partners than their friends here or the forums. That is their choice, those that are involved and change their profiles to reflect that, IMO that should be respected and just speaking for myself, I don't think any differently because they do.
What the internet has done is made the "world" a lot smaller, that's neither inherently good or bad it just IS.
But don't mind me, I don't follow the "pack" I think and do what I feel is best and right for me. Being on the internet has never caused any relationship problems for me and has never changed or shaped my inherent character, and never will.  | |
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