| He is still active on POF
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:40:08 PM | | I feel that someone who is on POF themselves has no reason to be upset if the person they are with is also on POF. And if the people have to have each other's passwords, you've got some serious trust issues to go on top of it. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:47:32 PM | | You have to ask? It is very straight foward ....LEAVE HIM! Have some self respect! | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 3/26/2008 2:10:01 AM |
I feel that someone who is on POF themselves has no reason to be upset if the person they are with is also on POF. And if the people have to have each other's passwords, you've got some serious trust issues to go on top of it.
No trust issues whatsoever...it's actually the ultimate trust. I have nothing to hide so I don't...I expect the same from a partner. I allow him into 99% of my life and, again, expect the same from him. There are so many temptations nowadays and so many things that can lend themselves to insecurities why not open things up and make sure that some of them don't cause issues? Guess I'd rather do that than misconstrue something and have it lead to not trusting and causing all sorts of problems.
Again, if you don't speed, you don't mind speed cameras. There's always a way around things and if a person is going to cheat they will...that's the rub we're all up against. I'd take my chances with someone who is willing to open up when things are getting very serious...my thoughts. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:32:16 AM | When a man or woman wants a non-exclusive relationship, run,
don't walk away, just love yourself first, then you can love a quality person
who will cherish you. It is an insult to be non-exclusive, yet we all want to
believe this person cares, we sell ourselves short believing all the nice words,
move on and find true happiness...much easier said than done to find that
special someone. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:39:30 AM | | Hi, this has happened to me a couple of times. It is almost as if they think they are going to find better. I gave up on them and I think you need to be strong and do the same. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:50:03 AM | | Well, it seems that YOU should be a bit smarter by now. He is what he is, and by 55 he isn't going to change. Claiming he hadn't done anything wrong? No apology? Yeah, smarten up, Maria. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:50:07 AM | He is a liar and a cheat, is that what you want in a relationship?
I say, tell him good-bye you are worth more than that | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:53:10 AM |
It is almost as if they think they are going to find better.
There's no "almost" about it, that's precisely what he's doing. Men like him are always looking to "upgrade." | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:10:52 AM | maria, read what You wrote....
We are not young, we are 49 and 55. It seems to me that we should be a bit smarter by now.
the "WE" part is not working....perhaps he think's he is the smarter one, because
week after week the same behavior, yet there are no consequences for the actions. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:14:19 AM | I agree fully with one of the other's that has written in replt to you on this.He is not very smart.But,neither are you.You continue to let him get away with new occurences.
Do you believe somewhere deep inside you that he will stop.Especially if you can get him to move in.If,he has to stop on "POF",he will find somewhere eles to look.Plus,what eles is he lieing to you about? Please,smarten yourself up!! You may end up lonely for awhile again but,you will be much better off in the future.Think of the future heartache you will save yourself.It does get worse to shake off,the deeper you go into the relationship.I sincerely wish you "All the BEST"!!!!
Mike | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:43:34 PM |
I will have to agree to a certain degree with hellofagal about the men, but also realize that women do the exact same thing as well that they say to men that the man is the one and only. Don't get me wrong, there are men and women that screw around with the opposite sex and lie.
But I can only speak for myself that I had to tell one person that we are going our separate ways and to not contact me again because she said that she cared about me but yet she would use me to her advantage (not sexually but in reference in me always paying for things and that she wouldn't buy anything for herself) and that when she put herself in a predicament, she would turn it around and blame someone else (and she tried to blame me for a few things). QTJ
Whoaaaaa. We gotta get your ex hooked up with mine. They sound like a match made in heaven, but they'd probably kill each other. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:50:49 PM | excuse the pun but ARE YOU NUTS get rid of the low life cheating **stard. and right under your nose yet. and you had to ask what to do keep him or kick him to the curb.  | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:52:33 PM | | You obviously don't trust this man or you wouldn't be so distrusting of his actions. I'd move on. Without trust, you have absolutely NOTHING. I see nothing wrong with what he's done. He loves you, but he plays online, not such a big deal. But if it's a dealbreaker to you (and it sounds like it is), then break up. Ultimately, it's your choice. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 8:43:33 PM | Either cut him loose yesterday or start doing the same thing and see how he likes it.
But DONT lower yourself again and go looking for something you dont want to find. Its more embarrassing to admit that you were checking up on him than that he is a dog. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:06:24 PM | I could stay on POF and maintain an exclusive relationship, if I were to delete my profile and share one with him for the forums.
We could use the same account. That would be one way to make it work, I think. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:16:25 PM | | leave him sweetheart! Before it gets harder to get out of the relationship! His taking you for a ride! ..... No respect for you what so ever! | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/11/2008 9:19:41 PM | I think you should protect your heart.
He is still looking for what.. something better, like most guys do.
Its your call, you have to decide for YOU. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:52:20 PM | speaking from experience (ex boyfriend, four yr relationship)
he won't change
he'll continue to lie
you will tolerate more and more the longer the relationship continues
Making the decision to break it off is the hardest part, once you decide, it will all fall into place. Aren't you worth more than what he is giving you? | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/13/2008 5:21:36 AM |
Somehow I feel if you get involved with a guy you have to check up on whose fault is that?
Good that someone picked up on that. The way I figure it is this: if I feel I have to check up on my dating partner's activities behind their back, then I have a problem with trust that I own. If I go into a dating relationship expecting to have my trust compromised, that's exactly what:
#1 I am going to attract
#2 is going to happen.
It's not the partner's ownership, but my ownership.
Also, go into any relationship no matter how many indicators may seem justifiable to check up on the dating/relationship partner's activities behind the scenes, one is likely to find what they are looking for as #1 No one is perfect and #2 one's focus is on finding what's wrong rather than what's right.
If a partner in direct experience is behaving in a manner that is questionable, first step is discuss one's concerns with one's partner. If there is no openness in communication, then one knows all they really need to know, don't they?
Furthermore, everyone proceeds at their own speed when dating and, if an LTR is the objective, no one has the right to impose their urgency to commit on anyone else. It's actually quite disrespectful, IMO.
 | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:51:16 AM | | Well...you like him more than he likes you. Time to jettison him. He's dishonest too. Plus, he's selfish keeping you on the string if you're not really the one for him - and worse yet, while he's still looking around. I honestly never get why people do this. What's wrong with being by yourself until the right one comes along? At least, you're not using someone else in the interim. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:01:32 PM | | i'm pretty new to this internet dating. i find a lot of the people on here,women,men,who do this on a regular basis because they are hooked on the whole concept of impersonal contact. it becomes an obsession.my advice to you is to realize that you can't change the way a person grooves. i'll be damned if i would let a person i cared about hurt me. i love me to much for that and so should you. ice him.you will probably have better luck of meeting someone in the grocery store or any other place than here. i like the forums alot,however,i'm not kidding myself.i'll do better out here on the planet than sitting here on the comp.as a matter of fact i think i'llgo to the grocery store now and let karma have its way.the last time i was there a sexy woman walked up to me and asked me " hows the meat look today". i said pretty good.do yourself a favor and ice him .HE'S NOT WORTH IT | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:16:05 PM | | Good one mortal coil! And I agree, but I am not new to this internet dating and have still (or therefore) come to your conclusion - its better to meet in real life. Some people make computers their whole evening entertainment now - and they have so many so-called on line friends. People they've never met & never will. Friends? Not to me, but eh, to each his own. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:34:04 PM | "I explained how to hide his profile and he said that he had done so."
Regardless whether a profile is hidden or not you can still contact/email other people, only IM is disabled. | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:12:47 AM | OP.... I think you answered your own question and you know what you need to do. Some men like attention... lots of it. And, there is so much temptation here. I am a firm believer that when you're in an exclusive relationship, you get off the dating sites. There is no reason to be here.
He's doing things behind your back, hurting you, apologizing for it and then continuing to do it. All the excuses in the world can't mask a cheater.
Get out now before you spend years of your life with someone who isn't really in a committed relationship at all.
Sharzi | |
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| He is still active on POF
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:56:12 AM | | i think its clear from what ive read that any attempt to find a rational excuse for this guy is probably to be left found wanting.Id move on or at least know what u r dealing with:) | |
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