| | Re: what do cheaters feel?Page 3 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | | this does not surprise me none.this guy most likely have women love him like gold.i see this all the time.we live in a srew up world.it is pitifull | |
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arets
| | Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/18/2005 5:08:44 PM | They feel other people!
Seriously though, I do think that it's a natural, nomadic impulse to wander, and feel like you've conquered as much territory, as possible. This includes women as well, not just the guys. It goes back to the wild animals' most basic instincts. I'm not sayin' it's right......it's just probably the most easy way to explain it. Plus, I think that most people need to feel needed, so when they're going through a rough patch (or even NO rough patch) in their relationship, they show affection for those that show *them* affection. And considering that alot of couples aren't straightforward with what it is that bugs them or what is wrong in their relationship, they figure that it's easier to hide some of that baggage, by having someone on the "side", that they can present their best side to. 'Cause it's pretty easy to present your best side, when you're not living together.
Workplaces are the worst places. Man, i've seen sooooo many girls and guys flirt that could be considered "aggressive flirting"--or by some people, cheating. Look at how many Hollywood actors and actresses get together after the movie's over.
Never marry into Hollywood.  | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/18/2005 7:41:10 PM | I cheated once in my life.....and that is enough.
I was 22 and in love for the first time. The crazy thing is I didn't even do it for sex. My girlfriend and I were having a rough spot in the relationship, nothing that good relationships don't go through. Well I was working with this tall redhead at the time. She was ok looking, again nothing special. We had been flirting with each other for a long time, but nothing serious.
Well one day my girlfriend tells me that she has something to tell me. She confesses that she went out with this guy when we had our last fight. Nothing serious she says, just a kiss at the end of it. I told her I forgave her and that it wasn't a big deal, but after some time this really started to bother me. I started wondering if she would run to another man the next time we had a fight.
Well, being the mature 22 year old I was I reached a decision. I was getting to 'close' to my girlfriend. So close that a little kiss was driving me crazy. I decided to take my co-worker to bed and have an affair. She was willing and came over to my place. My girlfriend even called while she was there, to wish me a good night. I hung up the phone and went back to making out with this other girl. At the time it seemed so cool. I felt so good about what I was doing. Then after we finished it was like someone threw a switch. I couldn't believe what I had done. I asked her to leave and cried the rest of the night.
I felt as if I had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I had. Although I knew I could live with the burden of what I had done, it tainted the relationship from then on. When she'd look at me with love in her eyes, all I could think of was what I had done. I loved her just as much as I always had, but I didn't love myself anymore, and I know it showed.
Guys if you EVER meet the woman of your dreams, DON'T **** around on her. It isn't worth it. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/18/2005 8:48:54 PM | Having cheated on a few of my ex-bf's I feel the need to pipe in here.
I cheated because I felt a crush on someone other than who I was dating, and while it seemed like they were better than the one I had at the time...after cheating, I realized it was pure hormonal, that what I had was better. And that I didn't want what I could have so easily, but that I wanted what I had worked so hard to maintain.
Did I ever get caught? Hell no, I am better than to be so rude as to shove it in his face. The guy I see now, he not only knows I have sex with others, he has said that as long as when he comes back to town after working on the road, I am there for him...then there is no problem with it. I think he rather has a fancy for the image that he has me in ways no one can, they may be lucky enough to get a part of me..but that my emotional connection is his. And that they can never attain it. And yes, before it is asked, he can cheat as long as she is hotter, thinner, and sexier than I am to him. And she better be gone before a wet spot dries.
I never feel regret, I have made mistakes, but I have learned from them. They are lessons I need, not things to whine about later. | |
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Genia
| | Joined: 4/5/2005
Msg: 55 | |
| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/18/2005 9:36:30 PM | | Cheaters feel nothing because they felt nothing for you for some time. A human being would not cheat on someone they were truly in love with. Why remain in a relationship that is kept together by one sole party? Regardless of who cheats, both parties do deserve to be happy. I certainly wouldn't want to be miserable in a relationship just because I didn't want to hurt the other's feelings by ending it. Cheating isn't admirable either but think about why they cheated in the first place. | |
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| bi polar
Posted: 4/18/2005 9:51:43 PM | I have a friend in onterio ,and he is bi polar ,and he is taking the medication for it,and boy let me tell you ,he will have sex with enething in a dress ,he used to phone me regular , I thought it was a bit to much seing that I am a guy also , un till this day when i was talking to him on the phone ,about some "none inconsiquuenshal garbage" and he was playing with him self over the bludy phone, the dirty "so and so" . Well a number of years ago the birchwood foundation diagnosed that I was "bipolar" and thay wanted me to take the same crap that my sex maniac friend form onteria was taking ,and when thay asked me to take the same crap as my friend, I told them ,in no unsertain sircomstanses was I taking that crap, not to mention that my buddy in onterio had bloond out, and he is "big fat and lazzy" plus he will shag eney thing in a dress,and inconclusion,I know of other peopl who are taking that bi polar medication, and thay are the same "moraly bankrupt" | |
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| It depends on the cheater
Posted: 4/18/2005 9:54:23 PM | | and the circumstances. Some cheaters are sociopaths. Others are deeply troubled and are hopelessly trying to fix some broken part of themselves. It won't work, but they don't know it. Sometimes someone really wants out of the relationship, deep down, but doesn't have the nerve to just end it cold, so they have an "exit affair." Sometimes, they have so much self-doubt that they cheat just when the relationship gets serious, because they can't handle the fear. Someone told me once that "I wanted to break your heart before you broke mine." Congratulations, sugar, you succeeded. That was almost two years ago and I'm still so angry and hurt that no matter who I date, I can't figure out how to fall in love again. | |
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| It depends on the cheater
Posted: 4/19/2005 2:18:26 PM | | @sassyass. i have news for you.you are not in a wholesome relationship.your in a fu--king relationship. in other words.who he has sex with is alright.and who you have sex with is alright. have you ever heard of stds .dose that ring a bell. we live in a screw up world | |
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| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/19/2005 7:28:10 PM | | My ex cheated on me once, made me really feel she regretted it. So I forgave her and pledged never to bring it up again cause I didnt want to make her feel worse. Well apparently that was a mistake, I found out 2 weeks ago she cheated on me for months, with a girl. | |
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arets
| | Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 61 | |
| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/20/2005 10:29:42 PM | "What do cheaters feel?
Other people I'd imagine. "
Heh, great response, but I beat 'ya to it if you look a few posts back..... | |
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| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/21/2005 10:30:52 AM | Depends on whether or not they got caught or not.
If they don't get caught, it's business as usual.
They made their decision a long time ago whether they care to admit it or not.
If they get caught?
How can I get out of this one...
Maybe he/she'll finally get the message...
God, I hope she doesn't tell my mistress...
or what most won't admit...
I'll have to be more careful next time. | |
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| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 4/21/2005 10:36:34 AM |
Heh, great response, but I beat 'ya to it if you look a few posts back.....
touche Arets... touche.... | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/9/2005 1:49:59 PM | | You said it right there swtn, I just got out of a 15 year marrage to a woman who stole cheated and lied.... not a drop of remorse. In fact if you ask her, I was all to blame and she was victimized. The weak minded can only feel better about themselves by lowering others. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/11/2005 3:23:41 PM | i cheated and it ate me up inside, so i had to tell him. some may see that as cruel, but i felt the need to confess my sin and be forgiven. i never did it again, but i do think that it was because the relationship had become routine, which made me think "this is it, we're stuck like this forever" and i just broke loose.
i've been cheated on, too....it didn't hurt as bad as the way i felt when i cheated. maybe it didn't hurt as much because i've been a cheater too, so i felt i had no right to be that hurt by it.
the way i felt after i cheated: you know the feeling you would get in the pit of your stomach when you had to bring home a bad report card to mom and dad?? it's a sick, worried, i'm in deep sh*t feeling, even if they have no idea and no way of finding out. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 3:07:32 PM | I've posted about the two times I cheated in another thread.
How did I feel about it?
The first time I felt great until I realized that the guy I cheated with sucked, and that the guy I was engaged to still wouldn't want to end the relationship. So it really wasn't worth it, although I still like the fact that he knows.
The second person I cheated on still doesn't know, no matter how much he said he'd always be able to tell if I cheated on him. I have a sense of satisfaction knowing that he has to live with all of the things he did to me, and I get to live knowing that I did something that would hurt him a great deal more than anything he did to me.
Evil? Perhaps.
Do I care? No.
Will I do it again? No.
How do I know? Because I no longer enter into or stay in abusive relationships. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 3:48:23 PM | 
I don't cheat. Cheaters and liars suck. However, I am open to some mutual swinging. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 3:50:47 PM | Hi , I feel for you on the bipolar wife cheating, bipolars do have an elevated sex drive
when they are in their hyper stage. Bipolars are awfully hard to keep on the straight and narrow because they dont like taking the meds they need. Good luck to you and the kids. | |
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Darma
| | Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 70 | |
| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 4:48:30 PM | Cheaters are proffesional liars. The only difference is they don't get paid.
If they will lie, they will cheat. And if they will cheat, they will lie. Why ask why? liars won't answer honestly. They don't know how to be honest because they expel so much energy making their lies their reality. | |
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| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 5:28:36 PM | People cheat for alot of different reasons. The one thing they all have in common is a lack of respect for their spouse.
I hope all you men and women out there that have been cheated on don't take it out on the rest of us. There are some good single out there still. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 7:54:25 PM | | I know how it feels to be on both sides. My ex of 5 years cheated on me 3 times it was the absolute worst feeling in the world. I never want to feel that again. I cried for days. unfortunately recently I was seeing someone who said him and his girlfriend had broken up and I believed him. I found out it wasn't true. I saw him a couple of times after that but I ended up telling his girlfriend because I thought about the way I felt and I couldn't hide it. I told her and she hates me but I felt she deserved to know. Unfortunately she is still seeing him but I know I did the right thing. | |
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| Re: what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:34:00 PM | Bottom line: If someone cheats on you they don't love you because if they did they would'nt
want to do anything to hurt the one they love. So if they cheat it should be strike one and they're out!!!! | |
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| what do cheaters feel?
Posted: 6/14/2005 2:17:14 AM | I've learned a number of things in my life about this issue, having been cheated on, myself.
One thing is that EVERY situation is unique. Another thing is that Cheating ALWAYS has an underlying cause that precipitates the actual act.
Sometimes someone will cheat on their mate because they feel they are not getting the attention and affection they need from their mate (hence, the cause is the failure in intimacy and possibly communication in the relationship).
Sometimes someone will cheat on their mate because they learned that the behavior is OK from their parents (hence, the cause is the failure in a proper upbringing).
Sometimes someone will cheat on their mate because of a compulsive need for sex (hence, the cause is Sex Addiction).
Cheating is ALWAYS a symptom of a problem. It is NEVER the problem itself. It is the manifestation/end result of a deeper, underlying issue.
Despite these facts, CHEATING IS NOT OK OR ACCEPTABLE!!! Make no mistake. What I discussed above DOES NOT excuse cheating. But for the cheating to be successfully stopped, the underlying issue DOES need to be addressed.
Even if the relationship ends following the act of Cheating, the party responsible for the cheating NEEDS to address their issues and face responsibility for their actions if they are to ever heal and learn how to have a healthy relationship.
So, to answer the question...................What do Cheaters feel? The answer is, it depends on the situation. Each situation is unique. Some do it because they've been hurt. Some do it because they want to hurt others. Some do it because they don't care. Some do it because they've learned it's OK to. Some do it because they can't control themselves. Some do it because they are totally self-absorbed and don't care about others.
What's important is that the person who is ABOUT to cheat stop themselves before it's too late, and learn that they need to address the issues that are prompting the temptation of the act.
This is what I've learned in life. I hope this helps all who've been cheated on to have a better understanding of the act of Cheating. Cheating is not acceptable. But it is NEVER the total issue. It is ALWAYS a result of another deeper issue. Without exception.
Sincerely, Mitch | |
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