| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 4:02:34 AM | The girl that is 9 was a total witch, the boy 17, wanted to fight me!
Maybe he knew how you felt about his little sister?
!!!
And don't worry OP... I'm a 51 year old grand mother who's raising her granddaughter and yes, there are men who would
date me, regardless of my having a "rotten screaming monster" at home. Ugh.
I never thought I'd see the day where children were referred to as witches, or rotten monsters, or baggage or drama.
I guess I thought wrong. 
Anyway, good luck to you OP and I wish you and your little one the very best of luck:)
JMHO
| |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 4:33:15 AM | I in no way agree with any of the people who feel children are anything less then a true blessing from God.
Now on to my point..
I never thought I'd see the day where children were referred to as witches, or rotten monsters, or baggage or drama.
Through out my years of dating I believe I have only date 2 women that did not have children. To be honest most of the women that did have children, seem to be nothing more then a door mat for the kids.
Rather then being a parent, most felt the need to be the "best friend"(this is a way to over compensate for other things missing in the kids lives! It is also a way to justify the inability to parent).. In which the children seemed to "do as they pleased" for the most part! They rarely showed any type of respect for their mothers much less any other adult in the vicinity!
This in no way is the child's fault. (until a reasonable age is reached) It is due to the lack of parenting. So I can very easily understand how a "few" can relate such qualities as a witch or a monster in the description of their behaviour!
I would bet my left nut, that there isn't one person on this site that hasn't known or even know someone with children that are completely off the hook!!!!!!!
~Belly~ | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:26:00 AM | I think most men likely do prefer women without young children. I can understand this, because I was the same way when I was in my 20's, a guy with kids or who even had been married before was a turn off. OP, we're the same age and while I don't know what the ratio of women to men is in your area, around Buffalo there are many more women, it's something like 2 to 1 more women than men over 35 yrs. This allows Buffalo men to be much more selective about who they date. I'm not bashing them for that, that is human nature and I would more fussy too if the ratio was reversed.
I originally had a profile up, then got discouraged and deleted it because even on the internet I couldn't generate interest from anyone who wasn't obese or considerably overweight (I am slim, most of the single women I know in my area are either slim or average). I put it back up recently (hidden) so I could post in the forums if a post caught my eye, as yours has.
I have wondered if having a young child (mine is 12 yrs old) has been part of the reason for a lack of interest, it makes sense. Age too is another biggie, I think. Still my son is by far the biggest joy in my life and of course I would not change that for anything.
Good luck to you! | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:05:14 AM | > Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Nope. Then again, I wouldn't date any woman who had a child. I have no interest in a "ready-made family" whatsoever.... I'd much rather meet a nice girl and make a family of my own. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:14:33 AM | I'm seeing the same thing. Many of the men in the age range I'm interested in have grown children and don't want to go through it again. I totally understand, but it does narrow the dating candidates out there for me. But this isn't something I would change if I could, so no whining from me (not saying OP was whining, but I have heard whiners on the subject).
I understand because as a mom of two 9 year olds plus a teenager, it means that I have to schedule time for my work, their practices, games, homework, projects and meals, plus time to be there for other needs. It means that plans can be canceled because of a sick kid or their father needing an adjustment to his visitation schedule. I can see a guy worrying about how I can find time for him. However, I know my capacity to care and include the people around me. It does mean some flexibility and creativity but it can be done. A man has to be open to the idea that many great women have infinite amount of love and that their lives can be richer for having kids in it. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:44:29 AM | I don't care how attractive a woman might be, I just don't want to be bothered by young children. Those years are gone with all their problems, and I don't want to repeat them.
Today I prefer women whose children have left the nest. I suppose a teenager or two might be OK, but it would depend upon their attitudes.
The Eagle | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:51:39 AM | | Frankly, I've found that a 40+ woman with a young child usually had an unplanned pregnancy, or at least a pregnancy outside of an LTR. It shows a bit of recklessness which shouldn't still exist at that age. I might still date a woman in that situation; but I would wrap it up real tight and ask her to use protection as well. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 7:59:14 AM | | As for dating, I'd have no problem. Almost every woman I have had a relationship with over the last twenty years has had two or three kids and their ages ranged from six to 23 years old. If I was to have a serious relationship with a woman who had a young child and it might possibly lead to marriage I'd have to give it some serious thought but not because I don't like kids or have a problem with a woman already having a child per se. I turn 55 years old this year. If a woman has a very young child I doubt very much I'll be playing catch in the backyard with a kid if he is 9 and I am 64. I'd probably be in my 70s when he or she graduates from high school. I'm in pretty decent shape right now but I don't know if I would be up to the kind of activities one needs to do when raising kids. I don't know if it would be fair to either the child or myself to have that much of a generation gap between us. All of his or her friends will have parents in their 30s or 40s and there I'll be, old enough to be their grandfather. Of course this would be something I'd have to discuss with the woman in question and see how she feels about it and ultimately the decision would be ours. But as far as dating a middle age woman with a young child, I wouldn't hesistate. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 8:19:37 AM |
Frankly, I've found that a 40+ woman with a young child usually had an unplanned pregnancy, or at least a pregnancy outside of an LTR. It shows a bit of recklessness which shouldn't still exist at that age. I might still date a woman in that situation; but I would wrap it up real tight and ask her to use protection as well.
Not true at all. Most of the 40+ women I know with kids under the teen years were in great relationships at the time of their pregnancies. I was 27 and 32 when I had my children, we waited for careers to get stable and wanted to space out our children (twins were a surprise but not the pregnancy itself). It is a fact that many women are having kids into their 30's and even into their early 40's. Advancements in pre-natal care have opened the doors for women to choose to wait for children. Now instead of having a 10 year period (while in their 20's) to have children, many women have 20 years to have their kids. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 8:23:44 AM | | I think dating is a little more challenging at middle age no matter what your parental status is. Try finding a man who likes snakes!!! I hope you don't get discouraged, OP. Just remember, you only need one. There's gotta be one out there who will love you AND your kids. Stay positive in spite of this challenge. It gives the rest of us hope! | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:00:09 AM | Over the millennia, I have experimentally dated women with children. Unfortunately, though, it has never been a good fit.
Maybe that is because I have lived my entire adult life as a committed childfree person.
Or perhaps it was my heartfelt desire to be marriage free.
Life is not about dating and fun. It is about the give and take of everyday life and ordinary, quotidian tasks.
Kids would not fit into my everyday life. So why go looking for a childed woman, if that is not what I want? | |
|
| |
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:19:18 AM | I am sorry....personally I have reached the point in my life where my sons are grown....and I am in a different place...I have tried dating men with kids at home who are my age ...and it doesnt work...they have to juggle two lives.....I cant be an every other weekend girlfriend.....
just my opinion | |
|
| |
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:58:06 AM |
Not true at all. Most of the 40+ women I know with kids under the teen years were in great relationships at the time of their pregnancies. I was 27 and 32 when I had my children
Txriverwillow: Ages 27 - 32 are not middle-aged. If you had your last child at 32, then that child was 10 by the time you hit 42---not a young child, and it doesn't address the subject of this thread. We're talking about middle-aged women (40+) having young children, which would be children under the age of 5. It's definitely a red-flag when you see a woman in her 40s with a young child. Like I said--it was usually an unplanned pregnancy and many women like that were single when they got pregnant. So, it's a red flag, not necessarily a deal-breaker. | |
|
bsg789
|
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 41 | |
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 12:18:51 PM | It's definitely a red-flag when you see a woman in her 40s with a young child. Like I said--it was usually an unplanned pregnancy and many women like that were single when they got pregnant. So, it's a red flag, not necessarily a deal-breaker.
Not always. Some women were concentrating on school and work in their 20s or simply preferred to remain single in their 20s. Suppose a woman got married in her early 30s and wanted to start a family. She had a child at age 34. Then she had another child when she was 37. Her children would only be 6 and 3 yrs old when she turned 40. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 12:40:06 PM | Spitfire, the OP asked if there was hope for a woman over 40 with young children. I'm over 40, so my situation is germaine to the topic at hand as being discussed. And by young children, most posters are referring to non-teenagers.
You might red-flag women in their 40's with young children but to label them as having an unplanned pregnancy or being single when they had their kids is just not a valid assumption because it overlooks how many career women are postponing having children. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:49:29 PM | I'm not father material and I'm not willing to be a surrogate father for someone else's child. You may be the sweetest woman in the world and everything might click but this is the one deal breaker I'm certain about.
Sorry. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:52:14 PM | OK, I'll just answer the OP, then.
To many guys, it raises red flags when a middle-aged woman has a young child. I've actually had a discussion on this topic with my buddies a while ago. The fact is that many women in their late 30s and early 40s find themselves pregnant under less-than-ideal circumstances. Biology influences some of them into making choices they wouldn't otherwise make, and an unexpected "bundle of joy" is the result. I've known many women who got "caught" in this way. Therefore, when guys are contemplating dating a 40+ year old with a toddler, red flags go up and the guys often look elsewhere. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/15/2008 4:57:41 PM | | I totally agree with "breathlesshush"! And yes, I would date a man (if I liked him) irregardless of whether he had children or not. I felt the need to respond to this subject because I am also a single mom of a ten year old son and I am 50. I have been on this site for about a year and I have already experienced many negative replys from men saying that "they don't want to be a daddy" and "they want alone time with me" and even had one email recently where a guy told me that he didn't care about my having a young son "because he could take care of himself". I am still trying to figure out the meaning of the email because my son is only half grown. This is my opinion on the subject, as woman & men it is our "free choice" as to whether we want children or not. I'd much rather see people not have children, than have children and not take care of them. However, since I already have a son a potential mate would have to accept my son in order to have a relationship with me. Period!!!And I would be accepting of a guy that also had children living at home. I also didn't plan to be a single parent but it just turned out that way due to circumstances beyond my control. Another thing that I've found out about some of the men on this site is that they don't want children because they want 100% of the womans time and are unwilling to share. In my opinion, only a selfish or very self-centered person would feel this way! I also see a "red flag" when I read a man's profile that says that he doesn't have any kids and that he also doesn't want any. I "won't" respond to this guy's profile. However, for the guys of you that are open-minded and have a big enough heart to allow someone else's child into your life-my hats off to you! You are a "rare & special" guy and that is the man that I'm looking for. I, myself, want the "family thing"! If you don't- then it is your loss! Just my two cents on the subject! | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:31:33 PM | Hello spitfire6844, I don't think that it should raise red flags when a middle-age woman has a child and becomes a single mom. Because I was married to my son's father when I had my ten year old son and we got divorced when he was only two. I never planned it that way-sometimes thing between two people just don't work out. My son wasn't an accident and he was "planned for" so no mistakes here. And my first husband made me a widow at age 36 and he couldn't have children. So I had my son when I was 39 and turned 40 the next month. Sometimes things just happen!  | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:49:49 PM | Spitfire
I call bull
I had my daughter when I was 32.. I waited that long because I wanted to be a good parent and not be one of those people who has a child and resents it because it gets in the way of their "socializing". I wanted to be mature enough. It wasn't an "oops" (other than I got pregnant while on the pill.. but my partner and I had been discussing having a child...he was 46) or a bad circumstance. Most women now a days have education and careers in their twenties to establish...and women are having children later in life (statistically true)
So I have a "young" child at home and I'm 42. Of course I'm not looking for a dad for her though... but if a man isn't into kids then he's not for me anyway (kids are a blast, difficult and challenging, and many things.. but worth it). I appreciate those men who are honest about it. But it's kind of sad that some seem to think that a woman is only looking for a daddy for her kids.. an older woman probably is NOT primarily motivated by that. She is looking for a companion beyond her role as a mother...at least I am.
More lovely stereotyping... | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:52:41 PM | Smileforme49: Your explanations make sense, and I believe that you would be "good to go" with many guys. It doesn't change the fact that most middle-aged women with young children have had more problematic circumstances than you've had.
Ravenstar: You fall outside the definition of "middle-aged woman with a young child". Becoming pregnant at 31 or 32 is well within the normal range for women. However, your quote
It wasn't an "oops" (other than I got pregnant while on the pill..)
Getting pregnant while on the Pill is an "oops"!!
It's generally a no-go. Smileforme49's situation would be the exception, not the rule. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/16/2008 11:41:14 PM | And speaking of steoreotyping...Is their any unwritten law that we all have to procreate at a certain age to be considered "normal"? Sheesh...Give me a break.[Becoming pregnant at 31 or 32 is well within the normal range for women.]
Children are human beings, that deserve respect, not an oops. Giving selfless love to a child at any age will create a loving, selfless and hopefully useful person when he or she grows up. Being a young parent does not garantee that a child will be nurtured and protected by both, or even one parent. How many children experience their parent's divorce or separation?
[It's definitely a red-flag when you see a woman in her 40s with a young child. Like I said--it was usually an unplanned pregnancy and many women like that were single when they got pregnant.]
Now that sounded judgemental, don't you think? You must be seeing red flags waving all about...How about a married woman that lost her husband in an accident? ASSuming is usually useless and really limits our choices.
I do appreciate your feedback, and hope there is someone out there for all of us. | |
|
| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:14:04 PM | I seem to have better luck with men in a range of approximatly seven years younger.
My experience is that we have been closer in interests, outlook and energy, as opposed to my own age group. I can only speculate why.
Happy Fishing!
I Smell Chocolate and Jelly Beans Already!
 | |
|
Home
login 
