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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/20/2008 12:15:02 PM | | If I date a woman that has a child I would prefer the child to be young. When you date someone with teenagers theres more drama added to the normal drama of dating. I like young kids and heck I act like them too. I am going to be 40 this year and I am hoping to still have a child of my own. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:24:35 AM | I just made the acquaintance of a 44-year-old woman who is pregnant with her first child. The background info. is just what you might expect. The woman recently got pregnant by an old "boyfriend", whom she had only known for a few months, and that boyfriend subsequently skipped town. So, it is an unplanned pregnancy with no father or male parental figure in sight. Unfortunately, this is the case with many, if not most, of these cases.
When you see a middle-aged woman getting pregnant, or who has a toddler, there is usually a chaotic back-story---unplanned pregnancy.....absentee dads......drug/alcohol abuse. Nothing good. Most smart guys are going to avoid getting involved with a woman in that situation. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:35:55 AM | | Personally, I would not. Not because there is anything "wrong" with them, necessarily - just that their freedom is limited by the responsibilities of a child, and I do not want avoidable restrictions at this stage in my life. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:45:58 AM | I will be 40 in a couple months- and don't consider myself middle aged, but I have a 7 year old, when most people my age have teenagers at the least and then possibly younger child as well. I was reading a post on this thread about 40 something women and small kids being druggies or absentee dads or whatever- I would like to comment on that post- I lost my first pregnancy at 24 and my first child at 30- then was fortunate enough to carry my last pregnancy full term and deliver a live baby. SO, not everyone has kids late in life due to stupid lifestyle choices. There is a full spectrum of issues at large here- just like any other situation. I am not looking for a daddy for my boy- he has one of those- but a man who is respectful to me would be nice- it's hard teaching a boy how to respect a woman- when there aren't many respectful men in the picture.
And his dad is respectful when he is around- just a trucker and gone a lot of the time. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:57:08 PM |
I will be 40 in a couple months- and don't consider myself middle aged, but I have a 7 year old
Shari, you're not in the subset of women which is covered by the topic. You got pregnant at 31 or 32 years old with your child, right? That's not even close to what the thread topic is about. We're talking about, for example, a 38-year-old woman getting pregnant with her first child. Or a 41-year-old woman with a 3 year old child. Or a 48-year-old woman with a 6-year-old. So, any woman who got pregnant in her early to mid-30s (which is extremely common and normal) is NOT the subject of this thread. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 5:55:27 PM | 'yall betta listen to mr. spit.. now 'ya heah? cos apparently he's the self-appointed, self-annointed OP, Moderator, AND authority on THIS AND ALL OTHER TOPICS/THREADS on POF.... puleeze.. spare us your holier than thou and knowitall superiority... makes me need to go ... like a pregnant.. middle-aged.. woman.. and barf... somebody really needs to send this guy to a new solar system where he can reign supreme... i'm so tired of his put downs of just about anyone who dares to offer a point of view outside his blinders....if you doubt my sincerity here - just read his posting history...  | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 6:27:40 PM | live2ridenh
Young Lady, why mr. spit needs to do what he dose is beyond me, It's odd he has to defend his opinion on why he wouldn't date a middle age woman with a young child.. with other posters. I think the question is simple and the answer is as well,, either you will or you won't..and many have valid reasons why. However, as you can tell not everyone is of the opinion as mr. spit.. and if they are, their voice was heard and then they let it go..
I'll re-posted this again, because those who have similar ideas as mine,, most likely won't change their opinion because of the negative responsive of some...
OP
Their are many men out there who asked to same question. I am one of those men, I have a son who is 8, I'm fifty. Your not alone in your thoughts. To answer your question, I would rather date a woman, my age, or slightly younger with a young child,, The reason are almost endless, Just to mention a few,
1) both the man and woman are in the same place,, meaning raising young children,
2) our goals of the golden years are different from those who have already raised their children,
3) I would love for my son to have a sister or brother that they both can grow up together at or near the same age
Just a note, I will never settle for any of those reason, If I were not in love with that woman.
Now that said again,, to keep a fire burning it needs fuel,, stop feeding the fire and it will go out,, the same holds true with people,, they then become bored and move on to disrupt other treads.. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 6:31:14 PM | i was not stating my opinion pro or con about the thread topic, merely stating that those who have done so before me - should not be bashed or put down by that other poster - that was my only intent, and now you have turned my 'well-intentioned' opinion into bashing me back.. does that make you feel better, YOUNG MAN??? | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 6:57:45 PM | | I would. But then again, it seems like MOST women whatever age they are these days has a kid or 2. It can't really be avoided anymore. Not that I would avoid women with kids ( I have no problem with dating them) I'm just saying. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 7:06:50 PM | Well i'm almost 40 and a single father. I would have no problem with a woman near my age or older that has children. But my preference would be that the child be close to my child age, regardless of the moms age.
My child will be an adult when I get close to 50 and i want to be able to enjoy free time with my soulmate when that happens.
So, in addition to looking for parents without partners, try making sure that any man you meet has a child near the age of yours. That should pretty much eliminate the problem.
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 7:25:39 PM |
I HAVE to say, Mr. Vitamix, you sir (used very loosely) are an ass, plain and simple..
Perhaps your children were rotten screaming monsters, but to ASS ume that all are is just plain ignorant.
Oh, and, on behalf of all those single mother's out there who won't get to date you, may I just say... PHEW!! Dodged a bullet there..
As for the rest of you, you are of course entitled to your own opinion. I have young children, because I wanted to be at a responsible and mature age when I became a parent..I did not intend to be a single parent, but that's how it has turned out. Some day I will find a man who accepts me and my children...until then, I thank all of you for being open and honest about your feelings on the subject. If you haven't already done so, I would suggest that you put it in bold type in your profiles, to avoid being contacted by single mothers.
Why waste time?
Amen, sister!!
I have met a couple of very nice men who were up front about the fact that they were at a phase in their life that they didn't want another turn at raising children. I totally respect their feelings. No need for anyone to be an a$$ about it! | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 7:44:21 PM |
Through out my years of dating I believe I have only date 2 women that did not have children. To be honest most of the women that did have children, seem to be nothing more then a door mat for the kids.
Rather then being a parent, most felt the need to be the "best friend"(this is a way to over compensate for other things missing in the kids lives! It is also a way to justify the inability to parent).. In which the children seemed to "do as they pleased" for the most part! They rarely showed any type of respect for their mothers much less any other adult in the vicinity!
This in no way is the child's fault. (until a reasonable age is reached) It is due to the lack of parenting. So I can very easily understand how a "few" can relate such qualities as a witch or a monster in the description of their behaviour!
I thought I was the only one to go through this.The women wanted to be their best friend instead of being a parent.Two serious relationships were ended because of the way the kids treated the Mom. I'm not one to stand around and hear the kids call their Mom very, very foul names and mean it.And neither one did anything about it.I believe it's not necessarily the age of the kids but the relationship between the kid(s) and the Mom.But still haven't found a Mom with a GOOD relationship with her daughter yet. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:29:16 PM | These women deserve lots of respect, because they're going through great challenges in order to raise toddlers alone. The fact remains that most middle-aged women with young children have had some chaotic or unusual phases in their lives. I knew of one woman who was 37 and got pregnant by an acquaintance. The guy split. There was another woman who was 36 and got pregnant in a one-night stand. The guy left town a couple of weeks later. It was the first pregnancy for both women. I already mentioned the 44-year-old pregnant woman with whom I just talked. So, if you see a woman who is, say, 45 years old, with a 5 year old child---you can bet there was life-altering chaos.
When you see a woman getting pregnant for the first time in her late 30s or 40s, there is usually chaos in her life. Here's another tip: when a woman is married long-term with teenaged kids, and then suddenly becomes pregnant after not having had any kids for over 12 or 13 years--that's also a sign of chaos. Most marriages where that happens will split up shortly afterward. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:32:12 PM | Thank to all for your responses. Some responses are truly thoughtful and kind.
I respect personal preferences. We all have life experinces that make us unique. I believe that anyone that truly has the capacity to love and nurture should share that gift with others.
There are so many children from "ideal" situations (parents in their twenties are immature and selfish) that receive so little nurturing, so little attention. Isn't it better to love deeply and to give a child a good start in life, even if we miss out being grandparents? No one knows what deal life will hand us. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:50:01 PM | Spit fire: Whaaat an attitude. Cut us some slack...You are making very broad assumptions based on two women. There are all sorts of situations in any age group.
Is being a parent "life altering?" You bet...At ANY age. Different or unusual can be positive, or negative, depending on attitude. What attitude do YOU want to choose...Wait...let me guess...  | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:00:49 PM | With my luck lately I keep meeting men in their late 40's with young children. So a middle aged woman with a child has a great chance to find a date! In fact they can have my luck, not feeling so lucky about it!  | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:04:03 PM | Fairsong: Calm down. I said in my previous post that I respect middle-aged women who are raising young children. Relax.
I did want to list some examples of real women in life and the circumstances under which they found themselves at middle-age with young children. We have to be honest and realistic. You're not going to find many LTRs which result in a 40-year-old having a baby--especially a first child. It just doesn't happen that often. Most often, these late babies are conceived under unusual circumstances. That's part of the reason guys often avoid women as dating partners who are facing these challenges. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:23:35 PM | I have to respond to this. I am a single mother with 3 kids. My children would not even think of fighting with a man i was dating since i would take that child in the ring and beat him myself. There is also the fact that it would be a long time before the man i was dating would even meet the children.
I am not their friend i am their mother. I do not accept bad behaviour from them especially towards adults.
As to screaming monsters- hey everyone has their moments. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:33:42 PM | you need to look at it in another way (paradigm shift). by your weeding out the ones who won't date you, a more selective dating pool is established so you won't waste "your" time.
i was 57 with three teens on my plate--recently adopted. it took a while to recuperate from the ex. he left and the divorce took another year plus some months. i started looking to meet someone before that. the first pof date turned out to be a great talker, but did not walk his talk. then soon after i met a man two years younger than i am (oddly also online from another site) and we've been dating for over two years. i've been approached by a number of other men. but i can only do one at a time!
you need to focus on your interests and what you can offer to a relationship. if you have ninety five percent of your time, unavailable, then what do you expect? start kid sitting pools with other single moms, etc.
actually we've gotten a kick out of playing board games with the kids. only being teens, it's doesn't happen enough. we've also triple and double dated with them. both my girls' boyfriends like the man i go out with.
that all being said, the most important thing with kids is to really check out your men. if it were me and my kids were young, they'd be investigated by a private eye if they were to get near mykids for any length of time, sleep over, or ever get to be with them alone. i've heard WAY too many molestation stories. so that is my only concern-- especially if you feel undateable by being a mom and along comes a debonaire, "interested in your kids", sexual predator. you might be so relieved, your usual radar may not be up enough.
also, dating is just the beginning. with or without kids come the relationship issues and older people being set in their ways. many people are not willing to fully trust even once they are free and clear of any concerns and they certainly cannot seem to "love" enough to change any of their habits--even if the habits don't serve them anymore. i have only recently realized that it is a process and i've got to trust my "higher power" in the culmination.
ps i forgot to say that the man i date NEVER wanted any kids. he is finding them interesting. he supports me with some of their antics, but clearly they are my responsibility.
psp regarding the "opinion" that older women who have children have had something wrong in their lives, i would mention that it depends on your educational and professional bracket. i know many women who have given birth to children while in their 40's. as to seeing your grandchildren, remember that life expectancy is way longer nowadays. | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:11:55 AM | Of course...
I'm 46 years old.. months away from 47 and I have a 6 year old, a 9 year old and a 14 year old..
I'm "searching" for those gals that are mid 40s with young children.. and I'm finding some of them right here on the fish...
Just hang in there.. set your age range to YOUNGER men.. who are more likely to have young children of thier own...
I think Paul McCartney has a toddler right now.. eh?
It's all about who wants who..... and I tend to pass by the gals that are over 40 who have checked the box, "all my children are over 18" | |
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| Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child?
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:37:18 AM | If, as you say, your 'intent' was 'support'.... then please tell me why it was necessary for you to begin by utilizing my username and then saying, 'Young Lady' Hmmmm?
Believe me, neither I nor anyone else in this thread 'misread your intent' there....
Yes, and please do convince us that mr. spit was 'justified' in addressing the OP by ordering her to 'Calm down'...
You two musta fallen from the same nut tree... | |
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