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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/15/2008 7:41:58 PM | Part of the equality equation. I heartily encourage women to be the agressor. In many cases we might hesitate to approach because the moment seems inappropriate (i.e.- a woman out with a group of friends) and getting even a hint of a green light helps. Even if the woman in question is someone I wouldn't want to know better, common courtesy shouldn't be so uncommon. I'd do my best to dissuade her gently and appreciate the compliment it implies.
Perhaps if more women had experience stepping up to the plate to take a swing they wouldn't be so likely to be discourteous in the reverse. Some women (emphasis on some) seem to delight in spurning unwanted approaches to agrandize themselves, if they found themselves in the opposite situation on occassion it might foster better social graces. Men have feelings too, despite our best attempts to hide them.
You think they're hot? You think they're not? Either way it's a compliment and should be accepted or rejected with the same grace you'd wish from someone you approached | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:54:38 PM |
Confidence can be ver sexy.
YES , I love it whan you ladies make a move on us men . even if she tells me " let me show you what I can do " TURN ON YES .  
I prefer it that way, I find assertive women a turn on, and in todays legal climate I feel safer that way!
I absolutely love a woman who will go after what she wants, definite yes here...
Well ...
**What if she's not your type?
**What if she's not especially the nicest-looking woman in the room?
**What if she's a tad over-weight?
I have seen such situations ... been out with women who attempted the "approach" and I'm here to tell you that the men can be pretty cruel about it. They don't give the woman a chance to prove herself ... just reject her and go chase after the chick they can't possibly get.
Not only have I witnessed that, but to add to the cruelty of it ... they walk by then and purposely talk loud to each other ... "Yeah ... that's the one ... thought she might be my type ... BLECH!!!!" I'm sure women do the same to men, but have any of you who talk about it being such a turn on done that to women?
Of course, I'm a plain Jane type and cannot afford to be mean to men ... there just aren't all that many looking my way to begin with ...  ... I'm sure not gonna do anything to run them off ...  | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 1:22:07 PM | To be honest, I don't find it attractive. I think if she's across the room and does something to make me notice her thats more attractive then coming right out with it. Brushing shoulders to make me turn around, a glar from across the room; something subtle is great. Then you have the cat and mouse game or the tug of war game as i call it. She tugged on you a bit, now you tug back; buy her a drink, talk to her, something to make her know that the tug worked. The object at the end of the day is to find out who falls for who first. You coming right out with it and saying you like someone or some shit is only gonna kill the emotional excitement that's there in the first place, especially if you have a ego freak who just eats it up doesn't catch the whole point of you coming to tell him what you told him....thats just my small opinion though, i could be wrong..  | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 2:18:48 PM | Agreed on the "Yes".
It tells me:
(A)They got their game together.
(B)They are not worried about minor BS.
(C)They are confident in themselves.
(D)They are actually trying to have fun in this life, and are making a serious attempt to get what they want, instead of "hoping" it works out that way.
(E)They actually know what they want, and are not confused as to what that is.
You can't win unless you gamble, and you can't gamble and win unless you are willing to try. Showing up to the game IS half the work, since you are half the game.
Personally, I find it extremely attractive, they know their spot in life, and are making a run for it, and are comfortable enough to know there is more than one way to crack an egg for that omellete they want to make. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 2:57:44 PM | demanding and impatient  where are those woman . I'll chase after her . I WANT A WOMAN WHO IS IMPATIENT . I want the relationship to start NOW . | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:05:13 PM | | I don't think the OP meant being hit on via email. I don't get tooo excited when that happens. If I am out and about, I am kind of ignorant when I am being hit on. I take it she is just being a nice lady and saying hi, or smiling. That is about to change though, because this really hot brunette gave me a great smile last week at the zoo with my kid and I missed out and now I am piss** I missed out. So after all my rambling yes I like to be hit on. With as much control as women have in this world on this topic, I think women should make the move. JMO | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:09:47 AM | Of course it's flattering.
It's how my previous long-term relationship got started.
I'm so glad she made the first move because I didn't really notice her before.
I only knew her as the quiet, shy girl who wore glasses.
She was one of the most beautiful, attractive women I've ever known.
Three years ago we broke up. Last May she passed away.
So go ahead and make the first move. You have nothing to lose, and so much you could gain.
Happy  out in a "social atmosphere." 
Cheers,
afishcalledjack | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:24:39 AM | Some men are turned on by being approached and some are turned off. I have made the approach first in the past and found a mix of reactions from "ok who put you up to this" to very positave reactions and greatly appreciated. I think it all depends on the parties and the technique used. I must say the best results have been from making eye contact and a smile. Opening the door gently and sweetly seems to work far better than flinging it open and boldly walking in. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:34:08 AM | | Good post Jack, I've regretted not going up to someone who was def looking at me in a way that makes you think they want to be approached by you. Then some other guy walks over like 20 minutes later and you watch them hit it off. It should go either way, if you are out and someone catches your eye why not just go up and say hi? I know its a bit embarassing esp if they are non-responsive, but its probably better then taking it out on your steering wheel when you get back to your car when you do nothing. ;-) | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:39:10 AM |
What if she's not your type?
Excellent point, Cotter! How did you know that she isn't the one I was imagining as I pondered (very briefly) this question?
That does make it a little less black and white! | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:58:31 AM | Here - (email, IM) definitely. Surprised that (according to the site) only 26% of first contacts are by women. Wish there was a "flirt" mechanism here. Send a flirt - get one back - send an email.
Out socially - I expect to have shown some interest before I am approached. Then, it is great. This is the same rule I have before I approach a woman. Eye contact, smile, (flash of cash j/k), etc.
An approach out of the blue would bug me unless she was irresistible. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 12:02:55 PM | | I hate the chase and think it's pretty juvenile. If I have to chase something, especially something that might give me more grief than anything else I hardly see the point in going after it. If you like me, tell me. Chasing gets guys tired and we lose interest. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 12:45:30 PM | I will approach a man in a heart beat or send an email saying HI. What's the worst that can happen?? He will not be interested. Move on then. I have no problems sending a shot over to a man in a bar or making first eye contact or whatever. Maybe he is to shy? Who knows but I am definitely not shy..
Hope it does not offend you guys.. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:39:29 PM | | To the guys who are saying what if she isn't your type? We don't know if she is our type when we make the move, so what it the difference? | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:13:49 PM | | Never approach a man first. The thrill of the hunt is what intrigues them the most. I even read a book on this very subject and the guy who wrote it polled 1000 random guys and not one of them said they ended up marrying or committing longterm to a woman that has approached them. Besides you're a cute girl why would you have to do the approaching? In this age of equality it is one of the last few things that a man is responsible for doing. If you see a guy you are interested in just give him a smile and a little eye contact so he knows you're interested and if he's interested he'll have no problem approaching you! | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:21:46 PM | | Definitely Yes. The only thing I should mention is a lame approach is not good. If you're interested, be confident and well, use your words. Communicate what you're interested in such as a phone number, a dance, whatever it is. Confidence is the best, smile... I prefer a woman to pick me up but I've had some lame attempts by girls which was a big turn-off. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/21/2008 10:47:35 PM | | i would have to say most assured. as a man, i think its sexy and shows me a woman believes in herself. its also a very big turn on | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:23:46 AM | | i've never been the agressive type, just tried it recently and it didn't work out too well for me. maybe i came on too strong, i don't know. i'm going to revert back into my underground cave now. | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:53:46 AM | | Relative to the class or tastefulness of the situation; I'd see it as flattery and embrace the opportunity for conversation ONLY if I'm single and not involved and interested... | |
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| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:41:35 PM | A woman who approaches men first, who does it the right way,
i.e. in a way that makes men feel comfortable and attracted,
is going to enjoy more success than a woman who waits for
men to come to her. However, if you're meeting enough quality
people by letting them come to you first, I don't see any need
to change what you're doing. | |
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