| |
| |
| |
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 4/30/2008 1:26:48 PM | | I would love it if women approached me. I think if more women went after a guy they liked there would be a lot less single people in this world. I'm actually tiered of approaching women & getting rejected. OP if you feel like approaching men you like do it & tell your friends to do it too you might start a trend. | |
|
PeterC
| | Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 130 | |
| |
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:25:34 PM | Anthony6/79 wrote: I would love it if women approached me.
I think if more women went after a guy they liked there would
be a lot less single people in this world.
That would make sense but in practice men who get approached
all the time have high standards and only accept the most attractive
ladies (i.e. the women who have the least problem getting men). | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:00:18 AM | First of all just because a women comes on to someone doesnt' make them confident. Sleazy and arrogant women also come onto men.
I don't know where when someone is so outgoing that's confidence.
Unless it's someone I'm dating, I dont like it. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:54:43 AM | Self-confidence is an attractive characteristic wherever you see it.
People who are timid and appear weak attract others who are timid and weak. People who love life are more likely to embrace life with gusto. They are usually sure of themselves and their approval comes from within so they do not depend of feeding on the approval of others.
They have high self-esteem. People who think well of themselves, without being arrogant or driven by over-inflated egos, just realistic, are the people who are able to give high esteem to others too.
Such persons are most likely to decide what what they want and move steadily step by step towards acquiring it. Those they encounter along the way will soon pick up the signals and know what the person wants, and may be willing to give it to them or at least respect them for being clear about what they are after.
The above remarks express my opinion, and that's all it is, I'm not claiming that there's eternal truth engraved in stone here. But I think it's true. And you may have noticed, if you have read this far, that there's something missing.
What's missing is gender references. That's intentional. It has nothing to do with whether a person is male or female. What's going on in a social interaction is between two human beings. Ideally they will regard each other as equal in rights and obligations. Equal in dignity. They respect each other.
Gender assumptions only get in the way of developing wholesome interpersonal relations. A man or woman who is secure and sure of himself or herself will approach another person with desire - not need! - and accept that others may or may not choose to respond by moving towards satisfaction of the approacher's desire.
So the header question is not really a good one. It might be better to trash the gender-specific element of it and go like this: Do people like it when others approach them to make contact, without waiting to be approached?
So what's then the answer to that? Here's mine. I would try to psych out the motivation of the approacher. If you're a telemarketer attempting to make a sale. or an Amway distributor looking to recruit downlines, my reaction will be - Go away. But if you're a friendly person open to accept as well as offer friendship, or even if you're just horny and after my body, the chances are that an honest desire honestly expressed by your words and your actions is going to get an honest response.
Sometimes it may be the response you were hoping for. Other times it won't. That's life. But there won't be any games - no coyness, no manipulation, no deceit. Neither of us will lie or try to trick the other.
The chances of getting what you want in life are highest when you know what you want and take steps toward getting there. And if you meet up with another person who is going in the same direction, you're on your way - you are both winners. What could be better than that?
So go ahead - approach the person you want to meet, regardless of their gender or your own, their age, ethnicity or anything else. Each person is an individual human being, not just a member of a class of people, and each is special in some way. Maybe you'll find they're special in YOUR way. Bingo!
| |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:24:45 AM | | YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! MEN LOVE IT. I FEEL THAT I LIKE IT BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT USUALLY A CONFIDENT WOMAN=A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS. WHEN A WOMAN IS TO THE POINT AND APPROACHES A MALE SHE IS SHOWING TRUE INTEREST. OH AND BY THE WAY LADIES THIS DOES "NOT" MEAN THAT WE IMMEDIATELY THINK THAT YOU ARE A WHORE. IT JUST MEANS YOU ARE INTERESTED AND THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A CONFIDENT WOMAN. BUT YOU MUST BE ONE IN 5 MILLION SWEETY, I BET IT WORKS EVERY TIME. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:43:43 AM | | hell yeah!although it has never happened to me before becausei have been called the ugliest man alive,but it would definitely boost a guy's confidence and morals! | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:49:20 AM | Ladies: Please continue to take the chance and make the first move. Those of us who aren't so insecure that we need to be in control all the time will welcome such advances (and the others - you're probably better off without anyway).
Guys: Love it or hate it - accept it as the compliment it is and try to show the same graciousness you would hope for if the shoe were on the other foot. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:51:34 PM | yes sandia it is a turn on to be approached by a woman. although the rarity sometimes catches us off guard. the chase sometimes is nice but i wish more women would go after what they see instead of hoping that he will go for them. have a wonderful day everyone | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:42:09 PM | early in this thread, someone said that a woman approaching a man was "an online booty call" and in person it meant that she wanted to "get busy"? well, there was another thread where someone asked if the woman approaching a man made the man assume that she was "easy" and most of the guys there said no it did not......??????
And my take on approaching a man in person is that it's a waste of time, for reasons stated in other threads. Like one guy in this thread said, in a social setting it is a big turnoff to him. That is my experience. If a man wants to talk to me, he will. If he doesn't, he won't and there's no point in me trying to start something he doesn't want. Even if a guy gives a nice conversation, then the next time he sees me he acts like i'm not there????? for real. no, i only make first contact online because otherwise the guy would not know i exist. And most like it online, even though I look the same and talk the same offline. go figure. | |
|
| |
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:29:47 PM | This topic has been done, overdone, well done and broiled to death!
Which man would not want to simply sit at the bar, look handsome, make no effort whatsoever, and get approached by women?
Geez, the questions some women ask! | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:37:12 AM | All i can say to this is when i first came to this site i did just like i did face to face. If i saw a woman that i though might would be interesting i would walk right up to her and start talking and see if i could get something going. But when i found POF i found out the the approach i used all my life didn't work here. Just to much read /delete / ignore. So, I started letting them come to me. I finally figured if they wanted to talk they would talk. So, I guess what i am trying to say is, Out here in the real world i like to be the one who approaches the women and starts the conversation. But on the POF cyber world it's different. Or, well, seems to be. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:22:25 PM | | I can't speak for all men, I like it when a woman is confident and asks for what she wants. I see it as a compliment. For me it is not about the chase. The only problem I have is when a woman makes a move and I am not interested I feel a little uncomfortable saying that I am not interested or telling her she isn't my type or I am not physically attracted to her. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:27:11 PM | Yeah right.
All these guys are saying they like it, but everytime I've been that confident, I have been shot down.
Yes, they SEEM like they like it. They're probably even flattered. BUT.. are they going to get that phone number and call? No. They never call when you're the brazen one.
If you want to go on a real date with the guy, introduce yourself, or have somebody else introduce you to him, but never throw yourself at them. They might say they like it, but deep down they want to be the one who asks you out.
SOME men may be different... | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:11:20 PM | | This topic was recently discussed in the "Ask A Guy" forum. Look at: "Do Guys Like Girls Who Ask Them Out" for some interesting responses. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:56:56 PM | I think it's fantastic when a woman makes the first move. Mainly because I've always been just a wee bit shy ( a tendency I'm really fighting to overcome  ) There's the added bonus of being occasionally approached by someone that you'd never think was interested in you.
The last time it happened to me, I completely hosed it all up though.
I had gone out to a club ( a rarity for me) and had drank far too much that night. I don't drink often, and I'm a really cheap drunk. I was sitting across the table from a "couple" who are friends of mine. I'd evidently gone into "thousand yard stare" mode and had target fixated on a TV on the wall, behind the bar.
An extremely attractive lady was seated directly between myself and the TV, and thought I was looking at her. I probably would have been, had I been coherent, but I wasn't. She got up and walked over to the table, leaned close to be heard past the music and said, "And just what you you looking at", in a very nice tone of voice, just inviting more conversation.
I replied with, "I'm actually not sure what's on".
Simultaneously, she shook her head and walked away, while the girl seated across the table from me kicked me like a mule on my shin.
Sigh. | |
|
| |
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:12:33 PM | I don't think I've approached a guy since high school. I get too nervous, which has made me appreciate the courage they have to muster up on a regular basis to keep approaching us, even after we reject them again and again. (dating must seriously suck for guys sometimes)
I guess a part of me wonders if I'll be seen as too aggressive if I just go up to someone and ask them out. I do have a stronger personality anyway, so I have to temper it a bit sometimes.
It's a shame because maybe I've missed out on a lot of great guys by being too chicken to make the first move in person if I see or meet someone I feel an attraction to. I did try asking a male coworker out to a movie recently, and he said he was literally "shocked" because he never gets asked anywhere by a girl. He always has to do the asking. LOL. Poor guy.
Maybe I just need to grow a pair and get brave enough to go up to someone. (in the real world, online doesn't count) | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:23:26 PM | That depends on what the guy is into. I would have to say that I believe more and more men are looking for more aggressive women, those who will take the initiative. I see this as a trend in younger women and ladies in their late thirties, early forties still expect the man to make the first move.
Personally, I want a woman is can take care of herself and goes after what she wants. Me being hit on is usually my first indication that I am not dealing with a woman that takes things lying down. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 2:34:44 AM | Yes, I love to be approached first by a woman. I love it when a woman is confident and assured, that she will take such a chance.
It is extremely flattering; and, really unless there's no compatability, these have been the opportunities I've lasted longer with in terms of relationships.
To des angel...I won't speak for anyone else, but I for one would call. I have no issue with taking a chance. You never know where love will come. | |
|
| do men like to be approached first?
Posted: 12/29/2008 3:05:40 AM | I'd *never* reject a woman hitting on me. The very fact that she's that confident shows she has something going for her.
I'd be very interested to see what kind of advice you get on how to start a conversation. | |
|
Home
login 
spelling mistakes 
