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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:14:02 PM | I think most of us are talking about oral sex not penetrative sex
Then you're on the wrong thread because the op specifically stated:
i was wondering if any ladies had to help themselves along sumtimes durin intercourse?
LOL and people wonder why men and women have trouble communicating? Heck, here's a perfect example of women having trouble communicating with women! lol | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:45:13 PM | Kick him to the curb!
He sounds like a close minded bore. Sex should be about sharing and openness. Women are not puppets to dance to OUR strings. I encourage my partner to be a little selfish - tell me what she wants, take what she needs. I want us both to hit that special moment together.
Even if he was afraid that you might scratch his holy pecker, he could have handled it with more grace. A gentle hand touching yours, a whisper in your ear to tell you why. Half of sex is communication and he obviously blew it. | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:20:04 PM |
Hey, I'm all for mutual stimulation but to make the above statement is just a little too selfish if you ask me.....so let me ask: are YOU focused entirely on getting HIM off?
Yes.. actually I am. I derive a great deal of pleasure from my partner being satisfied, and I do whatever that takes to make it happen.
As for the original OP. I used to have a problem with it when I was young and stupid. But now? Whatever floats your (man in the) boat!
But for the ladies: if you're in mish make sure your nails are trimmed and short. Nothing is more disturbing that having some claws scraping along your weiner.....the best position for this is doggy anyways, but still, watch those nails!!!
I agree.. this would be disturbing. I have sometimes caught my nails on my partner, and I keep them relatively short. I have felt bad, offered to change positions, and been told in clear and certain terms that it wasn't necessary.
And for those ladies who automatically assumed he was selfish: did you ever stop to think that maybe you were hurting him? And before you jump all over that, I've had that happen to me, to the point where she tore the condom and scratched me....so maybe THAT'S why he pushed her hand away? The correct way to handle it was to ask if it was bothering him and then reposition so it wouldn't.....
I would not want either partner to continue if it were hurting or one was causing pain for the other. I have had several men do things to me that has been painful, and when they were told to stop they didn't always listen, got irritated with me 'cause they were presuming that what they were doing was pleasureable to me. It wasn't. I laughed at a few of them when they presumed to tell me how close I was to cumming, or how hard I HAD cum, when infact I was no where near climax.
For the record I never called him an ass. Just said he needed to put his ego aside and enjoy the fact she is a sexual being and wants to orgasm and what he was doing wasn't working for her. It happens. Get over it already.
I had more written, but the lappy *ate* it... was good too. | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:28:41 PM | There are times you have to help the guy along during intercourse. Especially, if he didn't do an effective job at foreplay. I def. would have no problem touching myself. My long term boyfriend at the time had no problem with it. He actually liked seeing me touch myself.
I think it depends upon the guy being secure and confident. Hell, if he seems to be enjoying the sex more, I'm def. going to make more of a team effort and get myself off as well.
If a guy ever pushed my hand, I would either slap him in the head or get right off of him. Finish the job myself, as he watches and suffers from blue balls... hehe.. | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:40:18 PM | | For me it depends on the partner. Sometimes it's not necessary cuz the guy just knows how to make me orgasm. Other guys not so much so yeah I've helped out. I've never had a guy who has a problem with it. And one can make it fun by introducing a vibrator...that way no nails get in the way like one guy mentioned ;) | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:01:52 PM |
He sounds like a close minded bore. Sex should be about sharing and openness. Women are not puppets to dance to OUR strings. I encourage my partner to be a little selfish - tell me what she wants, take what she needs. I want us both to hit that special moment together.
Even if he was afraid that you might scratch his holy pecker, he could have handled it with more grace. A gentle hand touching yours, a whisper in your ear to tell you why. Half of sex is communication and he obviously blew it.
Again, and this is what I LOVE about these forums, someone jumps so far to conclusions that he goes onto the next website!
Dude, were you there? Was his****inside you? Were you rubbing your clit? If not, you don't know what was his motive and or reasoning behind it.
Something just about everyone fails to realize in these forums is that there are THREE sides to every story: her side, his side and what actually happened. For all we know he could have reached down and gently moved her hand away but to HER, he slapped it out of the way.
Half of sex is communication and he obviously blew it. and the OP obviously blew it by not telling him she was going to do it and see if he minded. As for Canuck male, I guess you'd be fine with a lady reaching around and shoving her long nailed finger right up your a$$ without telling you? And then I just bet you'd come on here and complain about it? Would you mind it if I then posted: he was afraid she might injure his holy a$$hole?
Anyhow, my point is he was wrong if he did slap her hand out of the way and she was wrong for not mentioning her intentions and seeing if he was ok with it or not. If he wasn't THEN she could come on here and complain about it. | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:31:30 AM |
I think most of us are talking about oral sex not penetrative sex
Then you're on the wrong thread because the op specifically stated:
i was wondering if any ladies had to help themselves along sumtimes durin intercourse?
LOL and people wonder why men and women have trouble communicating? Heck, here's a perfect example of women having trouble communicating with women! lol
WOuldnt intercourse be the whole thing???????????? Always has been in my book. So oral and penetrative sex would be parts of intercourse, and I just happened to point out most of the womens responses alluded to oral.
Yes a nail on the wang might hurt you, some men love it, just like some men actually love teeth on it. Its all a part of what turns people on or off | |
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Lzi
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 34 | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:53:34 AM | Sorry, hate to be the bearer of bad news but websters dictionary definition:
sexual intercourse
–noun genital contact, esp. the insertion of the penis into the vagina followed by orgasm; coitus; copulation.
But hey, we all know women have their own definitions hence why men and women have problems communicating lol.....
As for pointing out anything: let's leave it to the masses:
Are we talking about oral or penetrative sex here?
Hey, I'm all for mutual stimulation but to make the above statement is just a little too selfish if you ask me.....so let me ask: are YOU focused entirely on getting HIM off?
_________________________________________________________
Yes.. actually I am. I derive a great deal of pleasure from my partner being satisfied, and I do whatever that takes to make it happen.
If this is the case, what's your number? lol....cuz if you are focused entirely on him getting off then I want to meet you.....I mean, you don't do anything that is pleasureable to you? You leave it entirely up to him?
wait, no, I change my mind, cuz I want a woman to be responsible for her pleasure as well as mine since sex is about TWO people. I know I know, sometimes it's all about her, sometimes its all about him, and sometimes its about both of you. But I don't want a sex slave and maybe this is one reason why there are so many people with problems in bed?
One can't be focused entirely on getting their partner off, if they both think that way none of them would EVER get off.....
Here's a perfect example: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? oops, sorry, that's a meatloaf song, so, it was a hot and humid summer night (no a/c) and the gf and I were having hot monkey sex. So I'm working my ass off, sweat is pouring off me as I try everything I know to get her to cum and me not. I try EVERYTHING so I finally get overheated and say I have to stop I can't take this anymore, I'm going to pass out. So i'm lying there in a bed of sweat and finally say: is there anything wrong? usually you've cum 10 times by now? She says: Oh, no, nothing's wrong, I'm just waiting for you before I cum?
I was LIKE OH MY FUCKING GOD lol I'm almost passed out due to heat prostration trying to make you cum and you're trying NOT to???? We laughed about it later but I didn't think it was funny at the time......... | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:02:28 AM | | us men like to know WHAT you want . mary wants it this way . jennifer likes it like this . each one likes it a little differant . want to please your woman ASK WHAT SHE WANTS . there is a good chance you will like what does . | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:05:00 AM | Catman, you SO nailed it .....I think that is something many women don't understand. That every one of them is qutie different in the sack and if we don't know exactly what she likes, then we're bad lovers......
let this be a lesson: tell us what you like, don't wait for us to try something you DON'T like then complain about it...... | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:09:47 AM | Personally it's a turn on while indulging when in fact a woman rubs her clitty and/or my shaft. To feel it as well as watch her do so certainly is stimulating, not that it already isn't at that point. It's simply an added feeling that certainly is always welcomed.
She's going to need a helping *hand* to get there... doesn't matter whose.
And of course a helping tongue before and after....... | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:33:22 AM | | the reason you have sex is to have the big o i am not into toys or other stuff but if a women wants to play with her kitty kat while were doing it no problem with me i dont have hang ups. | |
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| For the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:00:55 PM | OMG! He pushed your hand away? Now that's a first. Most men LOVE to see a woman take part in the festivities!
Maybe his ego was hurt because obviously he wasn't doing something RIGHT!  | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 5:01:52 PM |
the reason you have sex is to have the big o......
SOrry dude, maybe that is YOUR reason but it isn't always mine. Many many times I enjoy sex just to be infinitely closer to my partner and an O doesn't necessarily add to that. As I always say: sometimes it's all about her, sometimes it's all about me, and sometimes it is all about us.
(for the record, and not to brag or anything, but quite often my partner has such a big O, that it feels like I have, even though I haven't. I guess I just revel in her's so much...) | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:28:54 PM |
If this is the case, what's your number? lol....cuz if you are focused entirely on him getting off then I want to meet you.....I mean, you don't do anything that is pleasureable to you? You leave it entirely up to him?
wait, no, I change my mind, cuz I want a woman to be responsible for her pleasure as well as mine since sex is about TWO people. I know I know, sometimes it's all about her, sometimes its all about him, and sometimes its about both of you. But I don't want a sex slave and maybe this is one reason why there are so many people with problems in bed?
One can't be focused entirely on getting their partner off, if they both think that way none of them would EVER get off.....
Here's a perfect example: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? oops, sorry, that's a meatloaf song, so, it was a hot and humid summer night (no a/c) and the gf and I were having hot monkey sex. So I'm working my ass off, sweat is pouring off me as I try everything I know to get her to cum and me not. I try EVERYTHING so I finally get overheated and say I have to stop I can't take this anymore, I'm going to pass out. So i'm lying there in a bed of sweat and finally say: is there anything wrong? usually you've cum 10 times by now? She says: Oh, no, nothing's wrong, I'm just waiting for you before I cum?
I was LIKE OH MY ****ING GOD lol I'm almost passed out due to heat prostration trying to make you cum and you're trying NOT to???? We laughed about it later but I didn't think it was funny at the time.........
Once again a prime example of lack of communication. K.. let me try to explain how it works for me. I'm very fortunate that right now the one I'm involved with is very much a pleaser, just like myself. For me, my primary focus is making sure that he's pleased by the things we do. Oddly enough that is his primary focus as well. Without a doubt I orgasm everytime... because my reaching climax is what pleases him best, as his climax is what pleases me best. He likes to watch, so it goes without saying that I'm a hands on girl. So in a twisted way, my helping myself to climax is what pleases him.
If I weren't focused on his climax, I'd be a dead f*ck. If I were a sex slave, he'd only be concerned with using me for HIS pleasure, not mine. Fortunately that isn't the case... but we... wait for it... *GASP*... yes... we TALK about things. This just seems to be the pattern we've fallen into. I get mine, he gets his... we're both happy. | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:49:01 PM | Yeah, you're right, lack of communication. I"m glad you and your partner communicate so openly, if more couples did that there'd be a lot less breakups!
But honestly, if you really didn't focus at all on your pleasure, you'd never have an O...ever. I tend to explain by example so imagine if you will a conversation like this:
Guy: honey, do you like it when I do this?
Girl: No, don't worry about me, I don't care, do you like it when I do this?
Guy: I don't care, it doesn't matter, do you like it when I do this?
Girl: I said don't worry about it, do you like it when I do this?
See what I mean? | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:03:33 PM | | While I don't claim to be the best lover you might ever find I do think I am better than average. If I'm not doing what gets a woman off I welcome the help or her telling me what she likes. After all it's all about satisfying your partner isn't it? | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:23:08 PM | | 70% of all women do not orgasm with intercourse . So if you have figured out what it takes to get you there then communicate that with him and enjoy yourself. If he is not willing to participate in such a way that makes sure that you orgasm too then that is where the problem is. Sex should be mutually enjoyable.There is more than one way to skin a cat. | |
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| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:25:23 PM | | 70% of all women do not orgasm with intercourse . So if you have figured out what it takes to get you there then communicate that with him and enjoy yourself. If he is not willing to participate in such a way that makes sure that you orgasm too then that is where the problem is. Sex should be mutually enjoyable.There is more than one way to skin a cat. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| for the ladies, do u mind havin to help him make u O
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:37:44 PM | | Some women have apparently gotten very used to having to do this. I have been with women who started working on themselves before I hardly even had a chance to start on them. While I am sure some guys are just lame, I think some women are put together in such a way that it is difficult for the in/out action of a penis to get them there unless they help out. It does not bother me. In fact, it is kind of a turnon at times. | |
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