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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:45:03 PM | | Take up knitting Zero...Very therapeutic. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:31:14 PM | Here's a more scientific, interesting and condense understanding of the Brain vs Heart debate.
Psychologists once maintained that emotions were purely mental expressions generated by the brain alone. Emotions have as much to do with the heart and body as they do with the brain. Of the bodily organs, the heart plays a particularly important role in our emotional experience. The experience of an emotion results from the brain, heart and body acting in concert. Studies have shown that the heart is indeed linked to our emotions and our health, vitality and well-being.
Recent HeartMath studies define a critical link between the heart and brain. The heart is in a constant two-way dialogue with the brain — our emotions change the signals the brain sends to the heart and the heart responds in complex ways. However, we now know that the heart sends more information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. And the brain responds to the heart in many important ways.
This research explains how the heart responds to emotional and mental reactions and why certain emotions stress the body and drain our energy. As we experience feelings like anger, frustration, anxiety and insecurity, our heart rhythm patterns become more erratic. These erratic patterns are sent to the emotional centers in the brain, which it recognizes as negative or stressful feelings. These signals create the actual feelings we experience in the heart area and the body. The erratic heart rhythms also block our ability to think clearly.
When we experience heart-felt emotions like love, care, appreciation and compassion, the heart produces a very different rhythm. In this case it is a smooth pattern that looks like gently rolling hills. Harmonious heart rhythms, which reflect positive emotions, are considered to be indicators of cardiovascular efficiency and nervous system balance. This lets the brain know that the heart feels good and often creates a gentle warm feeling in the area of the heart. This is what we miss during breakups, stress, and relationship anxiety. Exercise, proper diet, yoga and daily mediations can help counter the daily negativity we experience in Life and help rationalize our decision process. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:57:48 AM | I received this in an email when I posted the same question,
"Do I rely on my emotion or logic to discern if a man is right for me?"
I refer to it before letting my feelings sweep me off my feet.
Is HE the ONE? (THE RIGHT ONE)
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis
before it's made on an emotional one.
“What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?” you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)!
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).
Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in
order to put them together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments -- including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. I s the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.
A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?
This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.
This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!
God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.
So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for free. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:30:06 AM |
I would rather follow my heart, and risk being hurt.... then follow my brain, and always wonder "what if"...
Great post, couldn't have said it better myself! The few regrets that I have in my life were all caused by moments where I used my brain over my heart. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:59:09 AM | its a tough choice to make when your heart says one thing but your brain says different...
the brain brings the common sense to the whole idea
the heart brings the want and need for the idea
i always chose to listen to my brain and gut always cause the few times i followed my heart i ended up in bad situations | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:07:35 AM | 6irlfriend - I love your post! Altho I am not a Christian, I am a spiritual person, and once I took out the references to God and the Bible.... the truth is there.
Whoever wrote it..... kudos!
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:17:17 AM | The heart just pumps blood.
The rational / logical half is "the brain"
The creative / artsy half is "the heart"
my opinion anyway. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:50:34 AM | | I would go with my brain any day over what my heart wants. When ever I have gone with my heart it always ended up being the wrong decision. When I went with my brain it was always right on. Go with your guy or your brain they always know best. The heart gets terribly confused. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:14:00 PM | I went with my brain tonight and now I'm regretting it.
The bottom line is that love is a matter of the heart. The brain and heart need to keep to their own domains. Keep the heart out of things that require logic, such as buying a house, playing chess, etc. and keep the brain out of things that require emotion, such as romance and dating. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:29:24 PM | | I still say the Penis knows best! | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:49:52 PM | | Nice thread. Your phrasing is rough but I take your meaning. It's a never ending conflict. I think you're better off making the rational choice, but I always regret not doing it the other way... | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:51:46 PM | | Ach, you could always get drunk, throw on some Belinda Carlisle/Roxette and roll with it the other way though. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:05:31 PM | When women stop acting out of their deepest heart-felt emotions, us men are out-of-business. Men can Never "convince" a woman to act logically. Our only real
power is in how we ''make" you (girls) feel. Now, that's powerful right there.
Naturally, from time immemorial, women figured out how to make men feel attraction for them. Is it any wonder that when a guy reciprocates she's all ears? Women are always going to keep men on their toes. But don't they lift their toes & high heels when we kiss them sometimes? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Game of Love, friends. Never take it for granted. Stay on your toes, relaxed. I don't say it's easy, I say it works & it's right.
It's sometimes difficult, but never impossible. Women give men all the hints possible,
most of the time. Pay attention. I know, I'm too poor to pay that too (yolk/joke).
No offense to anyone, but if us men would just be our real selves, lesbianism would be
diminished to a tiny %. Am I right, crossroads "Liz"?
XOs to all. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/9/2008 5:33:11 AM | Brain vs Heart
I use my brain to determine if I should invest whats already in my heart.
Ive always been optimistic but the older I get and the more men I come in contact with...the more I think the truth is... there's really no other option.
Most people are fickle as a general rule IMO. I am not.
*shrugs*...that's life I guess. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:03:13 AM |
My brain is just the bouncer at the door to the party in my heart
Absolutely. And he's a tough one too; the heart really, really wants the party girls to come in, but Nooooooooooooo, "Get out, you'll just f*&# him over!" says the brain. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:57:14 PM | | I will go with my heart for quite some time but eventually my brain wins .... I also call this going with my gut. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:19:51 PM | Easy:
Filter using your brain first and foremost.
If it passes, then filter with your heart.
The heart is too stupid to make a decision based on logic. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:46:14 PM | This is what I struggle with often.
I use my brain to determine if I should invest whats already in my heart.
Right now, I'm letting my heart win. I hope it's steering me in the right direction this time. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:03:33 PM | I tend to think logically when it comes to matters of the heart. I'd say brain first and then my heart, actually I sprinkle a little of both into the thinking.
It depends on the person you're with. Someone who makes your heart soar when you're with them. When you have that deer in the headlights look, because they just leave you in awe.
Sometimes though, you shouldn't overthink things too much.
If you're with the right person and click and it goes so well and you really get to know them...you will know if everything will fall into place.
There are few and far between who can make your heart soar and make you believe love still truly exists. Maybe it's because, I'll admit it, I'm a romantic at heart. But I will still try to always think straight with my head first. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:13:41 PM | What's wrong with a duet? Why the insistence on either/or? I have many more parts than just two anyway. If any one of them says, "Hold on there pardner!" I listen pretty close and think about it pretty hard before I jump into something. Sometimes my accountant wins the day with, "Dude what are you thinking? You cannot possibly afford that lady!" | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:08:08 PM | "with age and experience, one realizes that you do not have to stay with someone that from the beginning just makes things too difficult."
Packagedeal, couldn't have said it better myself. ;)
And me personally, I'd follow my brain. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:29:58 PM | Love, is not exactly a rational state of being. One doesn't simply decide to "be in love", ie: a rational decision. One accepts the feelings one has for another, intuiatively. What makes it difficult, is that too often, people mistake lust, infatuation, or dependence for love. All three of which, generally lead down the wrong path.
If you're main interest is in avoiding pain, follow your brain. The only way you'll ever have a chance to find all you seek and wish for though, is to follow your heart. | |
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:12:43 PM | In my experience, it's not so cut and dry/black and white as being simply a matter of brain vs. heart.
I do use my brain as far as noting red flags in potential partners so as to avoid getting involved with toxic people (both dates and friends). But I primarily follow my gut feelings. In my life, the only times I've gotten myself into situations I regretted were when I ignored my gut feelings. Those visceral reactions are there for a reason; to ignore them is to sabotage yourself in a big way. On the other hand, I think when people follow their brain solely, it's a means of avoiding intimacy and possibly getting hurt. I don't think this is healthy, but I certainly understand why some do it.
When faced with important decisions, I take time to ponder it....as many days as it takes. Eventually, I find myself leaning more toward one thing and not the other. So if I can just stay out of my own way, the right choice usually presents itself.
I use my brain to determine if I should invest whats already in my heart.
Perfectly said.
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| Brain vs Heart
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:25:30 PM | I've done both, but it didn't do me any good. 
I do know one thing, I don't chase very well. I'll let them walk out of my life before I have to prove my love by humiliating myself. If I love them so much that I have to chase them, obviously, they don't feel the same. So the "want" I felt, just goes away.
Hey, "no" means "no" right? | |
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