| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:23:56 AM | | After reading the posts before mine I have to conclude almost any of the arguments could be valid. It seems he could range anywhere from being a jerk, to changing his mind, to being incredibly shy and going into panic mode when you approached him. If it had been me, and I did not buy you the drink, I would apologize because you were told the wrong person but I also would have said I wish it had been me and the mistake was my good fortune. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 11:09:06 AM | I'm with uglybetty on this, the drink was an anonymous gesture and he didnt expect you to know it was him, too shy i reckon  | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:03:32 PM | Whether or not he bought the drink, he should have been nice and not walked away. However, I would not have done anything. I would have realized that he is socially impaired and given him a pass.
I too have a mild form of dyslexia which I learned is more common in countries with complex writing systems.
The United States has twice as many dyslexics as Italy. A new study says complicated English spelling is to blame.
A new study of the brain disorder that causes difficulty in reading and writing shows that simple languages, like Italian, are easier for dyslexics to decode than English and French. That's because Italian words are spelled the way they are pronounced, unlike many words in English and French.
Eraldo Paulesu, a professor at the University of Milan Bicocca who directed the study, says there is an argument for making spelling more uniform in complex languages. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:53:29 PM | | Maybe the staff mixed up either the sender or the recipient. Maybe he was shy, and was just expecting the smile and nod. Maybe the drink was drugged. Maybe he was short-sighted and changed his mind when you got up close. Maybe he changed his mind because he likes the shy type who wouldn't come up right away. Too many possibilities. By the way, if guys ask girls to dance, and they say no, I know from my own experience that sometimes it's not about whether I find the guy attractive or not, it's just a matter of not wanting to dance. Do guys get this, or do they assume it's a rejection? | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:06:15 PM | I think the "drink being drugged" theory is a bit far fetched. He did not deliver the drink himself and he was not sitting next to her. I seriously doubt the bartender or server drugged it for him. Geeze... | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:25:01 PM | Me, again. I am just going to be the bad guy here. Lots of possibilities were given but here is one that hasn't been mentioned:
The OP was probably sitting at the bar or at a table, across the room from him. He saw her beautiful face, hair and smile and sent her a drink. When she approached him to say thanks he realized she was a bigger woman than he prefers (we all have preferences, right?). Instead of being a gentleman about it he acted like a rude jerk and ran.
My intent is not to be insulting here...just to introduce another possibility.
Edit: I just realized I never answered the OP's original question...What would you have done?
I would have done exactly as she did...ask again about where the drink came from, nothing more could be done, he left. Drinks are expensive, I would have drank it (remember what I said in the above post about the posibility of it being drugged). | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:45:33 PM | Message 31, Naughtical yes sadly you may be correct.
I don't think she did anything wrong, since (ok, I don't go to bars except to sing Karaoke from time to time, so perhaps my idea of etiquette is all wrong) someone ordered you a drink, you thanked him. Geez, if he wasn't into you, he still could have said your welcome and left it at that.
Since several have said "drink it" did you?
What ever the case Ms. I would let it bother you much, any guy that behaves that way is questionable in whether they are worth knowing.
 | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:00:13 PM | I did drink it and enjoyed it. My friend called me last night and told me that (she went out last night) the bartender told her that the same guy had tried to buy me a drink a few weeks before but was to shy. I guess the bartender and the guy are friends.
I was just wondering because well I'm just getting out into the dating world after my divorce. And I'm very not shy, I figured he made the first move by sending me the drink. That and I say thank you to every for every thing almost, thats just the way I was raised. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:03:02 PM | it basically means you looked more attractive from afar. sorry to be blunt but that's the truth.
ps - free drink :D | |
|
stless
|
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 35 | |
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:08:55 PM | I am a waitress at a bar and I have this kind of thing happen all the time. Usually though the girl is not polite enough to thank the guy in person and nine times out of ten, the girl wouldn't be interested in the guy that sends the drink to her. I end up being the go-between telling him thanks but no thanks.
I think you did the right thing and it's his loss. He didn't have to be rude. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:28:06 PM | | stless: isn't it a shame that guys buy drinks for girls at all? I find it to be a huge waste..damn good thing I don't pick up at bars/clubs nor drink alcohol myself :D | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:48:54 PM | From the OP:
I guess the bartender and the guy are friends.
...and then there is always the possibility the bartender was playing a joke on his friend and was too much of a jerk himself to consider the feelings of others. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:16:04 PM | vitamix made a good point, however that wasn't the case. The "guy" didn't mix the drink himself so I don't think that applies here.
The guy just seems weird if you ask me...Perhaps it was sent to wrong person, who knows...Next time either waive thank you or decline, no biggie | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:43:42 PM | | nope wasn't the bartender shes cool, and she likes me because I tip her well. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:45:58 PM | If no one accepted a drink from a bartender in a bar they'd go out of business. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 5:08:28 PM | | You're kidding me. A t0tal stranger sends over a drink with God knows what in it and you not only drink it you go looking for the guy? You Americans are nuts. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 5:59:32 PM | That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. Well, I go with the other advice. Next time nod and let him approach you.
But I probably would have gone back to sit down after he said that.
In the end it's simple:He was a rude fellow. | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 6:48:15 PM | (1) he was totally socially inept
(2) bartender made a mistake (in which case, the guy was still totally socially inept)
(3) he was shy (in which case, he was still totally socially inept!!!!!)
Pick your favorite!! | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:16:05 PM | i suppose it's possible that he did buy it, but meant it for someone else..
...for me, usually i'd just nod my head and smile and raise my glass to him as a way of saying thanks, whilst staying in my seat... maybe he hadn't expected you to come over...however, i think it was polite of you to go and thank him, no reason for him to get up and walk away like that, even if it was a mistake, unless he was shy, that i can see... | |
|
| |
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:25:15 AM | | Op, well firstly i wouldnt have drank it, it may have been spiked or anything...please tell me you didnt drink it.... | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:31:21 AM | | naughtical, what if the bartender was his pal, and could have easily spiked her drink on his behlaf, i think you should be very wary unless you actually see the drink being poured out..some ladies are just too trusting | |
|
| What would you have done?
Posted: 3/17/2008 4:16:30 AM |
I'm dyslexic (Dyslexia is a learning disability that manifests primarily as a difficulty with written language, particularly with reading and spelling. It is separate and distinct from reading difficulties resulting from other causes, such as a non-neurological deficiency with vision or hearing, or from poor or inadequate reading instruction.
Evidence suggests that dyslexia results from differences in how the brain processes written and/or verbal language. Although dyslexia is the result of a neurological difference, it is not an intellectual disability. Dyslexia occurs at all levels of intelligence; sub-average, average, above average, and highly gifted) so some times I miss spell "simple" or small words. I didn't use my spell check, I won't make that mistake again.
How ever, even if I can't spell, I can be nice. Spelling isn't a carictor flaw how ever being unkind and rude is.
i think i love you... that is beautiful. ( i really don't love you ....but you do seem nice )
i detest the input of the gramer nazis. " you made a spelling mistake...ha..you're an idiot!' ...what's next, make fun of the guy with the lisp?
even if the errors are not due to dyslexia, this isn't a spelling bee championship. Most people try the best that they can to get their message across as clear as they can so that everyone can understand: some achieve it while others fall short. But the message is still there.
about the drink.
as much as you do seem nice, you may be a little naive in that you had to even ask the question.
1. YOu were the wrong person.
2. you were the right person but didn't match his expectations.- you weren't good enough. Good from afar but far from good " sort of thing. doesn't seem possible tho...
3. you were the right person but exceeded his expectations- didn't think that he was good enough.
4. Drink was spiked and the two were in on it then decided not to go that way.- off chance but possible.
5. he was shy and didn't want anyone to know. he was doing a random act of kindness.
6. it was a bet with his friends.
7. who knows what evil looks in the hearts of men?
hard to tell.
good luck. | |
|
Home
login 
