| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:50:09 PM | I ain't feelin' too Colbie Caillait today
she'll probably soon realize
she's wrong
and sing another song
a little more Allanis Morrisette
I'm broke, happy, and pissed
all at the same time
so rather than rhyme
I think I'll curl up in a fetal position
you'd hafta see the music video to understand the condition
..........................or wouldja?................................
And i'm completely feelin' like Fiona Apple
at any given time
with a bitter twist to every rhyme
because that's life, yanno?
and she let's her insecurities show
so that she can "rise above"
and through understanding find love
of the honest kind
and when Ani Difranco said
"fvck you and your untouchable face"
it made me wanna go and find her
and kiss her on the face
she's raw
she's real
and daring you to tell her
what she needs to feel
funny how we walk around in glass houses throwin rocks all day
when if we'd look through the window and come out and play
we might soon discover
that we're more like each other
than we realize.....
so.......yeah, Colbie.........
I just realized
that we're perfect for each other
not me and he
i'm talkin bout
me and we | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/13/2008 7:28:40 PM | hard to be able to definitively say why circumstances seem to favor some,
while pushing sh1t up the nostrils of others
i realize that part of it is poor planning and lousy execution
bad choices made worse by the duct tape of stupid fixes
where we start and how we are raised if not jerked up and around
like a belt to the legs , some get it ..some get to watch
some never get a damn thing but feel the pain of the loss
as long as they breathe | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:52:20 AM | Theres no guarantees in life
Theres no almost
Theres no such thing as forever
Life is about love and dreams
About fading promises and schemes
One step at a time
Building something concrete
Take my hand
Take my heart
Walk through the maze
Will you get lost?
Or will you find yourself?
Do you dare walk in this labyrinth with me?
Do you think you can handle it?
Have you upgraded yet?
Are you a big kid now?
Pull ups are the best
Just like me!  | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:46:04 PM | I wonder sometimes if the thoughts
i have given time to , have taken on lives
that exceed my original intent
sh1t can get out of hand
and CSI is there for a reason
why can't the devils in our head
understand ?
it isnt real til its all too
then there's that prison sh1t
i don't think i want to be subject or predicate
of that sentence
that one that contains rape
or murder or even severe beating
healing is hard enough
without metal toilets
and plastic spoons | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:03:10 PM | Learning something
Supposed to learn from this
resolve to do it
Back in control
but wouldn't ya know
went for a coffee
and wouldn't ya know
some Joe Blow sitting there
talking like no one was there
so loud everyone had to stare
like he was making some kind of speach
The professor is in
let the lesson begin...
Grinned and sipped
bit my lip this guy is a trip
hes all saying we're a terrorist country..(USA)
we deserve all the killing
cause we've done more blood spilling
says the Jews stole a country and we're
keeping them there using fear.
Just listened and heard
some of my own thoughts in his words.
Opinions like turds...
like we change it that way...
I did hear him say there's no God
not today..
its all made up felt my heart fading away..
tried to think like you get pi$$ed off
and you can't finish the thought
And I just sat there and grinned
a few seconds and then...
Just turn and smiled at him
Because you know
when you really listen
most people are just hurting inside.
Its nothing but their pride
going for a ride. | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:14:59 PM | there's this dude in my head.
He keeps telling me,
that i'd be better off dead.
Now I know I'm no hero.
But I also know I'm not a zero.
I know who I am, I'm Carlos.
Don't know what I want,
but i feel I'm close.
Dude told me why,
I should just curl up and die.
He said I always put my heart on the table.
and say to all "take what you are able".
he says it always makes him wanna cry,
when I give it away,
to every pretty face that says hi.
He says he's got no more glue.
Next time my heart breaks,
theres nothing he can do.
Want to get out of this mess?
there's an easy way,
Take a guess.
maybe he maid many points.
or maybe, i just smoked
too many joints.
What I thought was a man talking.
could of been
my brain cells popping.
Or maybe it's me,
once again
trying to pull myself back to reality. | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:56:09 PM | ^^^^ Like the lyrics to that Tool song Aenima. Flush all of the stupid people away. So many days have I felt like that.
Just me and my baggage
sitting on the front steps
of the train station
debating where to haul my shit
Grappling with the desire
to throw myself on the tracks
and say f*ck it
naw, that ain't me
Doesn't mean I don't desire
to toss all of the crap
on the funeral pyre
and light myself up
Hmmm... train's pullin out
guess I'll sit and wait for the next one
Got a cigarette?
How about a lighter? | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:11:01 AM | If you dare to dream I will follow
all the way down with my shoes untied
While hearing a reverbration of dead legends in my head
and a whloe lot of not caring
I will follow
Blindly
whole heartdly
I will sing a raspy song of tomorrow with you
But dare
Dare to forget
forget your purpose
Forget these lines
we are just living dirt
shaking ,begging for another to hear our hurts
let me be,along side your dreams
A bottle of booze in my hands
a head full of well you know
Diazapam
I can be your echo
I can be your heart
I can be the bleeding veins of humanity torn apart
See?
I feel
More than any one would care to admit
I know I am nothing but a pile of....................
So,let me be there
along side your dreams
of money
silicon,false
fake
skin enhanced indentity
I dare to dream as long as they are yours
so sweet
so sweet
I had a person in my life who was lonley
Even though I felt sorry
the animal in me reaked survivial
Your hand sculpted smile
your thousand dollar bags
I am thankful god put me here for you
atleast someone can take an easy intake of air
So perfect
let me fall in your shadows | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:27:19 PM | Life is a b*tch
And so am i
Life is sh*t
So give me a f*cking shovel
Bury it six feet under
Pull up your shirt
Pull down your pants
Take the underwear out of your ass
And smile
If you meet someone with puppy breath
Offer them a mint or tell them to shut the f*ck up
Spew sh*t talk smack
Nothing makes up for the things you lack
Grab life by the horns
See red, charge with all you got
Karma is your friend
To those who deserve it in the end
Just remember life wouldnt be anything without penis' and vagina's.
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:56:59 AM | If I get drunk and fall of my bar stool it is because I refuse to believe in gravity
I enjoy staring straight up in a downpour like a burnt out rooster
There are to many stories to believe in
So I will just collect road side trinkets and chronic haloatosis
Showers are bad for sunday beliefs
Let's meet behind the stained glass
I'll make you feel dirty while the preacher purges us of our sins | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:24:21 AM | Thrust yourself inside my warmness
Moist and dark
Stain the air with me as you push me against the wall
Crush me with kisses
The heat awaiting in the center of our gravity
Grinding, writhing in defiance
Wild horses are ready to run
Roaming pressure of your hands all over my curves
A challenge
A grin
Demons drawing a picture on your face
Head pulled back, hair pulled tightly
Tease me with your lips and teeth
Growling from both of us
Your eyes are gleaming
More than mine
You roughly guide yourself inside
With a sinister grin
You take what you crave | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed....Dear Diary thoughts
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:38:57 PM | Love Five Revisited
I open the door, and walk in.
I hang up my jacket, and baseball hat, and walk passed the dining room into the kitchen.
I see you standing there, but I don't say anything.
I see that you did your hair, and f**k you are beautiful, but I don't say anything.
I look to you and say "the medical treatment center is built, it will be up and running tomorrow"
damn, all I think about is you. in between every push, pull, and heave, your on my mind, but I don't tell you that.
I'm tired, and everything hurts.
you cooked? I'm just going to have a bowl of reese's cereal.
I take the milk out of the refrigerator, and set it down. I walk to the other side of the island, reach in the cupboard and grab the box.
it's more than half full, and in attempt to tell you your everything to me I ask you if you want a bowl.
I reach to open the cupboard to get a bowl, and you step in front of me, and look up into my eyes.
I love you, but I don't say it.
I kiss you gently on the lips, and rest my face in your hair.
I kiss your ear, and keep kissing along cheek until I get to your lips.
I kiss you, and with my tongue try to tell you I want you to open your mouth.
we kiss deeply, and passionately.
I lift you up to the counter, and start to kiss your neck, along your collar bone, to the center of your chest.
my hands move down your body to lift your shirt off,
you let me.
I start to kiss your breasts.
I love you, but don't say it.
my hands move to your hips, and I pull you closer.
my hands move to unbutton your jeans
you let me, and I begin to remove your pants.
I kiss your lips, andjust can't say what I'm thinking . . . | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed....Dear Diary thoughts
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:44:34 PM | | hi visualdisortion..just had a few minutes to read and luckily stumbled in and saw your writes...Great to see you writing again girl! Now I have to see if I missed any..I have always loved your 'energy' *smile. | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed....
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:21:29 PM | I just had a 'rant' here
But decided not to after all
I will simply say
Those who don't learn from history
Are doomed to repeat it
And I'd rather not be doomed to that particular history
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| Raw and emotionally exposed....
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:36:05 AM | Good Morning K,
Just a song I'm humming
Well hello sir, we look for monday,
Confident we'll get there someday,
Pushing all the papers to a wealthy man,
Might I say, a beautiful tie you wear,
and how do you find such lovely polka dots and stripes these days?
[bridge]
Break all my thoughts hit the floor,
like im makin the score,
im the king of the world,
im a popular man
count by zero's to ten,
if you cant, well i can,
dont let any one wake me
[chorus]
Im dreamin out loud,
dreamin out loud,
and all at once its so familiar to see,
Im dreamin out loud,
dreamin out loud,
cant find a puzzle to fit into piece of apart of me
[verse 2]
Curtain calls a sanctuary,
Actors in the cloth, they freak me out,
Mockin my purpose, in the magazines,
Famous how they make you feel grand,
they're always there to hold your hand,
in times of trouble, they're best of friends
[bridge]
Break all my thoughts hit the floor,
like im makin the score,
im the king of the world,
im a popular man
count by zero's to ten,
if you cant, well i can,
dont let any one wake me | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed....
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:17:31 AM | Apathy and gluttony always made a good team
Another perf*cked day ahead of me
Some people say i am must losing it but
When did i really have it?
From the past i own nothing
From the future i want everything
From the present i want something
It never hurts to dream
It just hurts to wake up
But even out of chaos
There comes beauty | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 7/31/2008 12:18:15 AM | | I've nothing to contribute per se. I just wanted to tell Distorted that I appreciate her poetry. Thanks for putting a shared darkness into words. Somehow it helps to know I'm not the only one . | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/1/2008 4:55:55 AM | raw ...emotionally exposed....i like
Never done this before. Be gentle
dear diary
Sat with rage today….rage that broke
not mine……it could have been,
but that was another time and place
I sensed it ....early in the telling
pain...lips tremble....broken control...then gone...
unexpected .....forked lightning
across a cloudless sky
in a brutal face
a face for his world....survival kit.
Pause……avoided nerve revisited….and the
mask turned nimbus…..glowering….
a flash of hate in eyes….his familiar friend
pricked me for intruding.
A storm was coming.
Slowly…. the rumble of distant truth
a thunder…..buried deep…..deep
so deep…needing to be dead….but alive
corrosive….only bearable and almost forgotten
in the fix…. venous hiss……..intimate
and back to the womb.
He knew I knew….locked eyes held and held
defiant….scanning…… for treachery,
and finding none…..risked his soul…
and broke ……broke with eyes that
now unseeing turned inward back…
back.
I listened,
still…. so still, to the spilling,
cold ….robotic…..expressionless
the telling of another’s story
but it wasn’t……. it was his
became his…… rising into
the vent of hate and rage
I ……imagine …….and shudder…
comprehend …how…I cant ...but can
In silence following….. his quiet…
a soothing silence…he is heard and spent
and somewhere between the journey
back
from there to here
he has the face of a child….. and tears
for the first time….just a few…….since childhood
so do I…just a few
…….tears instead of rage!
I have been moved by a lot of what I have read from you all on this thread …Thank you
Love Shay | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/1/2008 4:02:10 PM | barefoot and walking
down the cobblestone path
away from the porch
towel, and bucket in hand
the birds song becomes the backbeat
of your walk
tracing the outlines
the curves of your body
caught in the sunlight
and the fabric dances over you
watching as a dog from the frontsteps
every footstep, and rock of your hips
I follow you down to the river bank
take a seat on a waist high rock
and watch you wet your hair
slipping the dress down over your shoulders
and tying it at your waist
soaping your arm with your hand
and looking back over your shoulder to smile at me | |
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| Raw and emotionally exposed, welcome to my world.
Posted: 8/2/2008 4:42:10 PM | It has me, it wont let go.
tighter it squeases, till i cant take a breath.
all i can see, all that I know.
Is it teases, and brings me to the edge of my death.
There'll be no doubt, I'll sell my soul.
Eventhough, I know what's instore.
I'll seek it out, through every seedy hole.
'Cause it leaves me shaking, wanting it more.
Ah i found it, in me it flows.
It's induced uforia, inside me grows.
Through my veins, through my head it blows
and it does, what it knows.
my eyes get a cloudy haze,
I'm again in it's grip.
I have not slept for days,
Ahh, into darkness i finally slip. | |
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