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| Sexual issues in the older male population
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:51:52 PM | shimbo, most people who talk a lot about anything do more talking than doing. but has been pointed out you are half the equation in your sex life. my first aa meeting, when i was obsessing over a cheating wife and a ton of other self pity issues god hit me between the eyes with a two by four and said "rich every problem you ever had you were there". it was then that life started on a different track. maybe you need to look in the mirror and see your part of the problem. even if what you say is 100% true think of it this way. why do women who dont like sex get attracted to you? what is it about you that makes a woman talk sex and then not do it? i have had one "sexless" relationship in my life and that gal told me up front she had that issue. i cared enough about her to hang in there a while ( about 2 years actually on and off) and try and work through it. why do these gals pick you out of all the fish in the sea to pull this one on? dont have to answer in the forum but at least give it a thought. the grateful and sober old parrothead | |
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| Sexual issues in the older male population
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:35:02 PM |
why do women who dont like sex get attracted to you? what is it about you that makes a woman talk sex and then not do it
I'm gonna talk real plain here, so brace yourself.
Since my husband died in early 2001, once the shock wore off( which took about a year) I haven't been just hiding in my house behind a computer expecting God to drop a man down my chimney. I've had a little bit of experience in "Adventures in Dating for the 45+ Crowd."
This is what I have observed.
Men who are great sexual performers don't have to deceive or play games to get women to have sex with them. Now, unfortunately there's kind of a dichotomy, it seems like guys who are impressive sexual performers are often NOT the best candidates for longterm,committed relationships. Now, don't get jumpy, I'm not automatically equating great sex partners with poor relationship partners. I've had reports from reliable sources that good men who are good lovers haven't all been shipped to some other continent. But maybe having it easy when it comes to getting women, some of the high performance loverboys don't work on the areas that would make them better LTR partner candidates. I can tell you that magnificent sexual performance that isn't backed up by some good qualities,or at least some compatibility in other areas CAN get old. But these men DO NOT have to lie, deceive, make false promises.whatever, to get willing and good sex partners.
But I think the women that have some substance to them move on,because they want some steak with their sizzle. That's always been my issue, anyway. And all to often if you keep having sex with these men, enjoyable as it is, they tend to get underfoot, in the way, and it gets more difficult to connect with other guys who might bring more to the table,because Mr Dynamite FWB always manages to butt in.
One example;
...I had one of these FWB great lovers that shared the commonality of occupation,(auction/fleamarket sales, a GREAT way to meet people,BTW)and we were often pursuing that occupation in the same venue.One day he yelled at me "I don't care if you have other boyfriends but not in front of me!" I yelled back " well then turn your back!"...
This is not the only experience I had along these lines, so I think I have a basis to comment that if shimbo had to practice deception or subterfuge to get women to have sex with him, it was probably because his sexual performance couldn't stand alone, he had to at least APPEAR to be offering other benefits.
And the "great sex"he claims to be having now ,IMO,is either paid for, or he's stumbled upon one or more of those women who'll do anything for any kind of male attention, or one whose clitoris has sucked all the blood away from her brain.
Just my thoughts on that subject.
Cindy O | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 127 | |
| Sexual issues in the older male population
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:05:04 PM |
maybe you need to look in the mirror and see your part of the problem
You must have missed the part where I'm not having this problem anymore.
I quit goofing with the non-performers.
Sex.
Up front!
It works! | |
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| Sexual issues in the older male population
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:09:17 AM | An older friend of mine was dating a guy in her peer group and she said they hit it off. She was maybe five years younger than him but still the same gen I think. Anyway, they started getting serious and falling for each other so they go to up the intimacy ante and winds up he couldn't perform. She tried to be understanding till she realized he had never once indicated to her that he had an ED problem. He waited till he got her all hot and heavy and then basically 'blue balled' her. She tore into him about it and wanted to break things off because you don't lie about stuff like that. But she said he got all weepy and and she felt sorry for him and tried to be understanding. So they kept going out but now she made it clear he needed to see a doctor because expecting her to go without sex was just too much. She said he complained about the cost, but meanwhile expected her to continue being unssatisfied like it was her lot in life or something.
Long story short, he never had ED. From everything she said, most of it was emotional issues he had from his wife having cheated on him years and year earlier but he had such a massive ego that's all it took to break his machinery. What he needed was a shrink, not a girlfriend. So she broke it off and her next boyfriend benefitted from her pent up frustrations 
I think she was crazy to have put up with him for as long as she did. As soon as she found out about him being deceptive about his physical ability, she should've dumped him without looking back. Hopefully none of you old dudes do this to women yourselves. It's not right. | |
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| Sexual issues in the older male population
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:04:00 AM | | With me it's the other way round, funnily enough. I think someone else was right - could be psychological - the mind plays funny tricks, and sex takes place partly in the mind, after all. | |
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| Sexual issues in the older male population
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:13:17 PM | It's wonderful to hear all the varied responses and digressing conversation since this topic began. Since I'm not having sex, it's good to know that there is still a 71 year old man out there who is! I've given up on finding someone to date who is still interested in having a mutual sexual relationship. Maybe I was only allowed to have one really good partner... But I fish on.  | |
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