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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:37:24 PM | soulmate08.. I agree with most of you comment. Age does not = knowledge, unselfishness or experience. Maturity and a willingness to become more in tune with ones partners, wants, needs and desires helps immensely. Being unselfish, uninhibited to whatever extent and thinking of the partner first is imperative. I feel, that if I make my partner experience utopia, my partner, most likely will want me to feel /experience that same Utopia.
It might be possible to find a man with the knowledge/wisdom/experience as
you see in tantric.....
but usually we older people.. (hes 17 yrs older than you)..... know what we do from exactly/age/experience...(that dosent mean all older people do have wisdom from experience though)
When people learn that the second largest organ is the brain (the first being our skin) it makes sex, relationships and everything better.
Both showing love and sexual experiences, require a person to be unselfish and willing to think of the other person 1st!
dree>>>> I'll be glad to let you know when I know a younger person with the insight and knowledge. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:52:04 PM | ^^^^^^ It might be possible to find a man with the knowledge/wisdom/experience as
you see in tantric.....
yes I left out .......
It might be possible to find a man ' your age..'..(Forgive me.. by the time I noticed I couldnt edit..)
with the knowledge/wisdom/experience as
you see in tantric.....
but usually we older people.. (hes 17 yrs older than you)..... know what we do from exactly/age/experience...(that dosent mean all older people do have wisdom from experience though....... (and i was alluding to this as included...lol....knowledge/wisdom/experience)
and it dosent mean younger people cant.....
But I would say 17 years in the adult life cycle.. including certain age cycles...
can be important.. to recognise...
smiles/peace | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:55:08 AM | When is a man in love with you?????? The easy answer is, when he remembers to put the toilet seat down EVERY time he uses it 
Ray | |
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dirigo
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Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 104 | |
| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/22/2008 1:12:55 AM | | You could first know when a man is in love when he tells you so (other than during sex) and then seems surprized at what he just said. It's at that point he is speaking from the heart without his mind/ego/sexdrive getting in the way! :-) | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/22/2008 1:42:10 AM | When a man is truly in love with a woman he shows it in everything he does concerning her. Sometimes it's the little things that matters more. Like watching after the kids even if they are not his when your sick. Talking to you about everything in his life and never make you feel like a outsider in his life. He is suppose to share everything in his life with you. He should make you closer to him than anyone. That includes Mother' Father' Sister' Brother and most of all friends. He shows affection to you everyday. He loves you when your at your worst. He loves you when your up and he loves you when your down. He will never take advantage of you in any way and will get very pissed if he thinks someone is trying to. His words to you are always kind. He never talks down to you. He always talks you up. When you argue about something he will argue his point but he will do it with respect to you.This is just a small part of the relationship with the right man with the right woman. I could fill this page full and tell you how a man is suppose to be with the woman he professes to love. I will stop here because most of this you learn by being with the wrong person. That's why we all have to go through the duds to get to the right one. If we didn't go through the wrong ones first we wouldn't know the right one when he/she came alone. All the things i have mentioned here doesn't just go for the man. It goes for the woman to. It works both ways. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/22/2008 10:29:34 PM | | I think that every love is differant, I ve been in love and I know when a mans in love with me. But keeping the love is another thing. I know for me I don't play head games and when Ive been in love and the games begin, or I feel taken for granted then Im the one who lets go first. I don't chase , nor do I have a jealous nature , I am who I am and for myself havnt been loved the way I wanted to be loved. So I think its not when is a man in love ? its more like does he love you they way you need to be loved? we are all differiant we all love one another the only way we know how, is it going to go the distance , over time.. I think the older we get the harder it gets to want to bother going the distance , change , bending to make things work. I don't do any of those things anymore. I have accepted the fact that having a man in love with me is not important anymore. Its more like can a man be a true friend first. | |
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LUSTRE
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Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 107 | |
| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/23/2008 1:34:53 PM | | Hi OP,speaking for myself on this matter,i know when i'm in love because i want the lady in question to be the centre of my world,i want to spoil her everyway i can,treat her like she is the only person on the planet,give her everything she needs but most of all give her unconditional love and respect and try and make her feel special every day of her life and she would mean more to me than life itself.I have only felt like this twice in my life so when true love comes along you should be able to tell the difference.I just hope you can find someone who will feel this way about you.lots of luck in your search. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/23/2008 1:49:03 PM | I don't know, but the wondering can make you crazy.
Wonderfully crazy!
I hope he'll tell me when he knows......... | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:48:39 PM |
(Why did you break up with him?) He broke up with me because 1) we had some minor conflicts that instead of working on he chose to run away from and 2) I think he was feeling the pressure of settling down and having kids. A lot of that pressure came from me, which I really didn't mean to impose on him, and it's not like I wanted them NOW I just wanted them in the future. Between my family and his, there was a lot of pressure for both of us. That scared him off.
No actually, I don't know what you mean. Why would another's anguish give you pleasure, joy and satisfaction, particularly if you once loved this person? Please expound. It's always nice to know that even though someone breaks up with you, you're still attractive to them. It kind of made me feel like I had control over a certain situation. I had no control over the break up, but I have control over my actions. And no, I don't like to see him hurt, he is and always will be my best friend. It's not a matter of joy and satisfaction, it's that I have the power to control my own actions and I'm sure we all know how hard it is to turn down someone you love for sex. Yes I do still love him.
So why in rat hole are you asking? Methinks a part of you still does care, or you wouldn't be curious in the slightest. You are right on the money. I do still care, and it bothers me that I still care. I haven't been able to let it go yet, and I know I need to cut off communication with this guy, but we are getting along so well, joking like old friends, and we care about each other so much that its hard to just turn around and say 'see ya'. So yeah... I guess I do give a rats ass. Some days I don't... but for the most part I do. My head knows what needs to happen but my heart is fighting it.
Maybe you should stop dragging him through it and dissolve all communication (block him from your msn, and in public, flip on the "cold-hearted aloof b1tch" switch every woman has innately and intrinsically integrated). I once read telling a lover you can still be friends is like having your dog die then being told you can still keep the carcass. Send him a final message saying "Sorry" and nothing else, then move on and leave the poor guy alone already. But then, I bet you're not sorry for anything, seeing as how you take comfort in his suffering... Hmm, "Sweet and bubbly", what's that like? Melon-scented body wash?
For the record I HATE melon. ick. Gimme some vanilla or coconut and we'll talk.
I'm not sure what you think I am dragging him through. He is the one who keeps messaging me on msn, and I have no problem talking to him on there because we keep things light and friendly. He is also the one who invited me over for some you-know-what - I would think that's him dragging ME through it. At least I had the self-respect to say no. And I certainly cannot turn on the cold hearted **** switch - in all honesty I am not that kind of person. I just can't do it. Even to him. He did nothing wrong, he had his reasons for breaking up with me and I can't hate him for that. I have to respect his decision. He's the one who keeps saying maybe we need space and maybe we shouldn't talk so much, and everytime he says that, I tell him whatever he needs, that's fine with me, I will totally be respectful of that (this is where sweet and bubbly comes into play - I have no reason to be hostile or ****y, so why not be nice to him??). But then after that's said and done, he changes the subject and keeps talking and even flirts. Move on and leave the poor guy alone?? The 'poor guy' is the one who broke up with ME, and the 'poor guy' is the one who keeps making contact with me. I am not playing the victim here, but I don't feel I am doing anything inappropriate here.
Am I sorry for anything? Damn rights I am. I'm sorry we broke up. I'm sorry I didn't treat him right. I'm sorry we couldn't have worked through our issues together. I'm sorry I lost sight of who I was when I was with him (as did he). However, life goes on, I have no regrets, and I look forward to whatever the future holds for me. I hope he continues to be in it as my friend. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/23/2008 10:25:01 PM | Definitely the way he looks at you. The eyes are the window to the soul. Long, deep looks. And if he kisses your shoulder or your back when he thinks you're sleeping. And sometimes you may hear him whisper that he loves you when he thinks you're sleeping.
We women KNOW these things! We just need confirmation & the odd AMEN sister!!
Just telling you isn't enough. If he's really in love he'll SHOW you himself!
Dee | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/23/2008 10:29:43 PM | Never..
True men don't fall in love.. That's for sissy-boys and emo's.. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/24/2008 12:14:31 AM | When he gets goose bumps sitting next to you in a movie or dinner, when his palms sweat with the thought of holding hands in the park, when he takes long looks at you while you are reading or sitting across the room or sleeping;
When he talks about you by your first name instead of 'my wife/girlfriend is...', when he can't wait to kiss you on your neck or cheek when he gets up in the morning;
When he remembers things from conversations and does little things for you such as delivering flowers personally to your work, even though he has a very busy day, leaves a note for you to find where you least expect it, thanks you for the thoughts you share with him.
Let me know if this is enough or you need to know more. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/24/2008 12:57:12 AM | hola....some excellent feed back to the OP and some....well and that's all i will say to that.....
In my experience love is a two way street......for me to love a mate it will be mutual .....how can one love and call it love and not be loved back(keeping in mind loving a mate and loving your child are total two diff kinds of love).......that is the foundation for sick love to me........when i do something for her i will do it unconditionally....just the light of her face is good for me....Yet there are many variables in LOVE ...I wont go out of my way just because i feel she will get mad if i dont.....I'll go out of my way for her just so i can feel the warmth she will exude of what i did...yet at the same token I'll step in front of a bullet just so she wont get hit not because i am hoping to see her smile , I'm doing it because it is my responsibility.....I believe men are more to do with being workers.... that is why we were built different.....and women to be care givers....i am not saiing men dont show affection... yet they can never show as a woman....for if that was so men would be able to give birth as well wouldn't you think......For love to last COMMUNICATION is the key.....without it a relationship is sure to fail...but bottom line that would be where both understand the acceptance of give and take through consultation....that is the foundation to a good relationship to me..... | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/24/2008 1:20:00 AM | a man is in love when he fancies your mind not just your arse.... | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/24/2008 1:47:34 AM | | You just know...the way he looks at you (biggest indicator)...kisses you at opportune times/cuddles you...calls you pet names...the little things he does for you...you naturally become priority...makes future plans with you...incorporate you into his life/work...proposes marriage and tells you he loves you...and cry when expressing their feelings for you. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:36:41 PM | dreeinthet
He broke up with me because 1) we had some minor conflicts that instead of working on he chose to run away from and 2) I think he was feeling the pressure of settling down and having kids. A lot of that pressure came from me, which I really didn't mean to impose on him, and it's not like I wanted them NOW I just wanted them in the future. Between my family and his, there was a lot of pressure for both of us. That scared him off. To stay on thread, a man's in love when the idea of marriage (with the person who's wondering if he's in love with her) doesn't "scare" him like a milksop twit, inducing him to bolt.
It's always nice to know that even though someone breaks up with you, you're still attractive to them. It kind of made me feel like I had control over a certain situation. I had no control over the break up, but I have control over my actions. And no, I don't like to see him hurt, he is and always will be my best friend. It's not a matter of joy and satisfaction, it's that I have the power to control my own actions Careful what you speak - "he is and always will be" your best friend? Girls usually reserve that for another girl. It will be quite an obstacle any prospective boyfriends will have to deal with, and I'm certain not many will fathom nor fancy the idea, let alone tolerate it for too long.
...and I'm sure we all know how hard it is to turn down someone you love for sex. Yes I do still love him. A statement made on far too great an assumption. I'm sure "ALL" do not know how hard it is to turn down someone they love for sex - many don't even know what it's like to have sex with someone they love.
You are right on the money. I do still care, and it bothers me that I still care. I haven't been able to let it go yet, and I know I need to cut off communication with this guy, but we are getting along so well, joking like old friends, and we care about each other so much that its hard to just turn around and say 'see ya'. So yeah... I guess I do give a rats ass. Some days I don't... but for the most part I do. My head knows what needs to happen but my heart is fighting it. You are obviously very confused, and it's clear that neither of you have let go - you just said you want to continue being his best friend, and now admit to know you need to cold turkey contact. Perhaps you should do the latter, at least to think things over until you know what you want. That or listen to your heart.
For the record I HATE melon. ick. Gimme some vanilla or coconut and we'll talk. Hmm, how about giving ME some vanilla and coconuts, and we can skip the talking.
I'm not sure what you think I am dragging him through. I meant that he has feelings for you, and you are teasing him with your "bubbly" behavior. He longs for you, probably yearning to kiss your lips each time he sees them move, and you are happy to get things your way without giving it up, stringing him along in a sense, by upholding hope. Unless he knows you'll cave, I wonder how long he'll stay in the ring.
He is the one who keeps messaging me on msn, and I have no problem talking to him on there because we keep things light and friendly. He is also the one who invited me over for some you-know-what (No, I don't know what, please elaborate with lucid details - Vanilla Ice cream and Coconut shakes? - do guys really do this? "Hey, wanna come over for a quickie? - Wow, I need to brush-down on my manners...) I would think that's him dragging ME through it. Really? All you have to do is demand he not solicit sex ever again or that's it - problem solved  At least I had the self-respect to say no. And I certainly cannot turn on the cold hearted **** switch - in all honesty I am not that kind of person. (I stand by my postulation that every woman is "that kind of person" somewhere deep in their loving heart  ) I just can't do it. Even to him. (Methinks you mean "especially" to him) He did nothing wrong, he had his reasons for breaking up with me and I can't hate him for that. I have to respect his decision. He's the one who keeps saying maybe we need space and maybe we shouldn't talk so much, and everytime he says that, I tell him whatever he needs, that's fine with me, I will totally be respectful of that (this is where sweet and bubbly comes into play - I have no reason to be hostile or ****y, so why not be nice to him??) I dunno - "because he's playing you" comes to mind. But then after that's said and done, he changes the subject and keeps talking and even flirts. Move on and leave the poor guy alone?? The 'poor guy' is the one who broke up with ME, Fine - poor shoot-from-the-hips judgment on my part. and the 'poor guy' is the one who keeps making contact with me. You know, all this talk about being in control, you'd think you would have some volition to make a decision I am not playing the victim here, but I don't feel I am doing anything inappropriate here. I didn't say you were playing the victim, nor do I think I implied it.Am I sorry for anything? Damn rights I am. I'm sorry we broke up. I'm sorry I didn't treat him right. I'm sorry we couldn't have worked through our issues together. I'm sorry I lost sight of who I was when I was with him (as did he). However, life goes on, I have no regrets, and I look forward to whatever the future holds for me. I hope he continues to be in it as my friend. (...and from knowing you must cease contact, now we are back to wanting him as your friend)
Let's account - You still love him, he's your proclaimed best friend, you always want him to be, you still deeply care about him, you are sorry you broke up, and you hope things only get better between you two. Hopefully for you, no one who considers your profile will stumble across this thread, ey? Not to be rude, but I recommend you get over him before you start dating hapless others.
Hey maybe you can help me out - where can I get an obsequious lover?
- Excog. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:58:35 PM | | When he slaps you on your bootitie screamin "how do you like that baby?" He loves you. If he paints your toenails...he loves his sister... or has some sort of fetish. I prefere to slap booties. Is this going to become public knowledge? Shit!! | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:41:16 AM | All people are different. So i think all men are different. But I think some of the tell tale signs are:
In the eyes- there's a certain look they give you- its especially noticeable when you're in bed and he's ALREADY cum (sorry to be crude there but someone once told me the few minutes after a guy has cum is when he is at his most honest regarding these things because he is of course, NOT trying to get his leg over, at that very moment, for once in his life!) I also look out for over cuddling, excessive eye contact, (eye contact during sex and/or orgasm is more of a clue, though obviously not foolproof, as many men will do anything to convince you if they think seconds are on the cards!)Hmmmmm, what else?....Kissing- and i mean, on your hand and forehead and stuff, NOT just ramming tongue down your throat or er, merely 'kissing' you down there in your special place either! ....yes, and referring to you both as 'we' and 'us' and a reduction in the 'I's and the 'me's! Make sense? 'Consideration' basically starts to kick in- they call or txt everyday- or wana see you everyday or near enough. Jealousy becomes a bigger factor- You notice a slight possesiveness starting to happen!......Erm, also, they STOP talking about you in like, a crude way to their mates, and you become less of an 'object' and more as a person in their eyes. What you both got up to on that rainy Easter weekend suddenly ISN'T the top of their discussion list down the pub next day anymore, neither is how 'skilled' you might be in the oral department!!... They start to care about you wearing too short a skirt out when you're not with them. LOL.....they actually TELL you they love you! (although for the love of god, beware here, because where the act of poking willy is anticipated they may simply just SAY this to you....it is a common phenomenon, many of the male species utter the words 'I', 'love' and 'you' in the hope of getting a slice of pie. Whether these words are expertly said in that order of syntax may also depend on the degree of either a) their drunkeness, or b) their IQ level!!!) Er.....yeah and I think maybe also its a giveaway when they begin to forget what football/baseball/formula1/porn/the pub actually is!! (However do not be downhearted if you NEVER experience THIS much love from a guy. For most normal ones, letting you have the last slice of pizza and apologising after farting under the sheets is something you should be grateful enough for!
Any man here disagree? | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:46:00 AM | ^^^ "Any man here disagree?"
Disagree with some, agree with some...
~ds~ | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:04:14 AM | Usually, a man acts on what's in his heart, regardless of his words.
Some men say it and don't act it.
Some men act it and don't say it.
Some men may love and still not know any effective ways of showing it.
The tricky part is finding a man who both loves you, and shows you in ways that are meaningful to you. | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:07:34 AM | STOP talking about you in like, a crude way to their mates, and you become less of an 'object' and more as a person in their eyes.
LOL I just kind of scanned all that but this really made me laugh.............so, love is supposed to transform him from a crude, disrespectful loser into a "keeper"? | |
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| when is a man in love?
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:11:19 AM | Interesting question... I have no clue
<div class="quote">Its pretty simple, really. If a man says he's in love, that means he's in love.
I agree with the above post, saying, showing and meaning it???
I had someone say it but then broke up the relationship after a few weeks of not seeing each other. I always wondered whether he meant it or not!! | |
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