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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:27:26 PM | California causes more grief for the court systems than any state in the union with their "Government knows best ideology". Take a look at how many times the District court in northern California has been over ruled on appeal. Take a look at the town who threatened to throw out the Military recruiting office but backed down when the federal government threatened to cut off their money supply if they did.
Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Mini, Mickey, Dopey, and Goofy are right where they belong...... | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:29:18 PM | from one person who receives this from my ex-wife well let me tell you that it took three yrs and a lot of money to get it and now after 7 months she wants to quit, she cant handle working and paying,,
i'm proud to be a father and have full custody of my 10 yrs old son, she should be proud just to have a son, and i am proud to take her money | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:35:51 PM |
Would knowing that if He/She calls it quits if they are going to be the ones to lose certain aspects of their "lifestyle", the things they are accustomed to; would this make enough of an impact to effect change in the status quo?
Dunno... maybe ask all your girlfriends. Women file for divorce 2/3 to 3/4 of the time. Clearly, they are doing it for good reasons. Some women take a hit in lifestyle, but just as many come out of it with a pretty nice financial package.
Do guys benefit? I suppose some do, but I've never met one. All of the guys I know who got kicked to the curb have lost a lot and have always met their CS , parental responsibilities and more. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/24/2008 10:44:00 PM | | there are sure a lot of mothers out there who feel unaccountable for the money . Its obvious that the reason's women go after sole custody are greed,revenge and control. ..and for the same reason they and the womens groups object to equal custody in Canada and blocked change even though its proving better for our children ..so why would any person who is aware of this support equality for women in 2008? or support our existing family court system in any way ...no more funding should be handed over to this womens movement that only exists to play the victim in order to gain control and money ..and refused a chance to change our family court system for whats best for our children and equal and fair to all..what is child support meant for you ask? its meant to give the women money ,,the courts and lawyers and civil servants a job and a profitable career going after the head of the family ..its no wonder they couldn't care less so many children end up on the streets and in jail ..just offers more options for the courts and lawyers .Where do our politicians come in ..oh they ride with the biggest group ,,so that might be the womens group.?? church group? family's ? at one time ...i wouldn't bet on it this time.. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 12:40:05 AM | p-trish in your own words
Children have the inheirant right to expect their parents to put them first.
your all about collections ..period..and physical sole custody is all you promote to women on here so they can get the gold ..and always supporting the jail time or lost licence ,,its all enforcment ,,your a real man hater ...how do you feel about mothers who spend the child support on there mortage payment ? should the children make a claim against the property when they are 18? or is that the womens little nest egg? | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:45:42 AM | | CAL has always been wiped out. and I think many in this little thread are too! Which has now turned into a some what if a disagreement thread . It does take money to raise kids . PERIOD. Both should have considered that before they did that deal and had them in the first place. I wonder how many remember that little vow they made that said for richer for poorer. for better or worse,and to me it is completely and utterly stupid to think that your mode of living should even resemble what you had when you were still married . or feel that since you both decided to call this off, that you can in any way possibly think that one OR the other is supposed to make sure YOUR standard of living what is was or what they think it should be. this is now each ones own responsibility. If you in fact ,can not support your children and give them what they need, then you should not have them end of story. Both should contribute to this and if one does NOT legal action should be taken agaisnst them in some shape or form. EVERYONE must try and live up to thier responsibilitys. I also feel for any single parent that was awarded physical custody of thier children there should be some kind of help for the first little while and some kind of oppurtunity to be helped to learn find or otherwise help them to get gainful employment to help them get to a point where they CAN financially support , or help support thier own children. but then it should stop . It dont take but a few years to see, and an Idiot can see it, if someone or anyone is even trying to pull thier own weight and live up to thier own responsibilitys as a person and as a parent. There are deadbeats on both ends of this. PERIOD. The resonsibility is too the kids in this deal. I dont know where you all live and I guess it dont matter, but where I live there are more than ALOT of parents that in a past america have raised 6 to 8 to 12 children in one room shacks, taught them how to hunt to fish ,tuaght them how to be respectful and taught them how to survive. every parent has the responsibility to be thier kids greatest teacher. To think a courtroom and how much money you can sqeese out of your ex is gonna make thier world a great place is down right stupid . a REAL NICE LESSON> so mabey the answer to all of this is too get ALL the deadbeats out of this game of life for the kids. Im pretty stupid. FACT !!! High school education and that is all. but even stupid can see a beadbeat so why is it ,the ones who are so just, and educated, cant see the deadbeats on both ends of this and do what is right. After reading all that is written here in this thread I decided to call my ex and offer the oppurtunity to sit down and try to work this thing out without the involement of the legal assistance???? we are getting from the lawyers involved. She was like I dont think so. I need more money. and explained that her new husband is so far behind on child support that THEY cant make ends meet. The state is taking half his check and if he dont pay they will send him to jail. LIke you mean that aint what you try and do to me if I get behind. L.O.L. and ALREADY know for fact that my support check most times is being used to pay HIS child support obligation and to keep him out of jail ,and all it would take is for someone to see what date my check arrives to them, and what day his goes out. MAN ,woman, or beast, to fix this the deadbeats gotta go, and people are gonna have to start living within there OWN means and not think that child support is in any way something for them. its for the KIDS!!! | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 11:03:10 AM | ""your all about collections ..period..and physical sole custody is all you promote to women on here so they can get the gold ""
we can tell someone here cant comprehend a simple post. if you go back and read, i say ncp or cp,, i dont indicate gender for a reason.
i never said anything about jail time, so im really unclear where you get that from. again the "man hater?" i dont indicate gender when referring to cp, or ncp.
your morgage payment question,, how do i feel about it, if it goes to support what the child needs or is accustomed to, then it should be included in the list of "what child support is for".
you will really have to explain why you used the particular quote you did from my post and then rant on about unrelated matters, because your chosen clip has no bearing on your rant. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:36:30 PM | | i get weekly support and i use that to subsidze my weekly paychecks so that means if one week i need to use x amount of money from my childsupport to put gas in my car i do, or buy tp and whatever i also use to to buy my son books, clothes, maybe take him to a movie whatever also two of my payments are used to pay towards 2 loans that i had to take out to help provide for my son so pretty much i think it is meant for anything that involves keeping the household running smoothly and not spendt at the bar or on drugs it shouldn't matter to anyone but the people involved | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:41:47 PM | You've raised a lot of good points, but also you must consider that most ncp's do not have as many rooms as the custodial parent; ex, I have two children and live in a three bedroom. When they are with their dad he has a one bedroom which he pays a lot less for. Our children are in a variety of sports and since I am the custodial parent, I am the one who takes them to most (95%) of their games, practices, events. I am also the one who takes them to their friends parties (and supplies the presents) and does the baking for their school and so on and so on. Those little extra's add up to a lot.
I guess if my situation was different and the dad played a more active role, I may agree wholeheartedly with your observations. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:45:04 PM | | You should meet my ex...just to be away from him he got the house and myself and my two children now rent. He has no change in lifestyle except now he has to cook and clean for himself. He sees his kids the weenends that the court says he has too and even calls to say he's too tired to take them some weekends. Maybe we shouldn't focus on if the man or the woman benefits, but rather if the child benefits? | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:10:42 PM | As a non-custodial parent the only thing I have a problem with is the lack of accountability in the child support world. I don't begrudge my kids the money, and I cheerfully agreed to an amount above guideline in order to ensure they have everything they need at their mom's house. However, when I am asked for more money for shoes or for clothes or for whatever, my question is: What did you spend the money I already paid on? The custodial parent is not required to account for that money to the court or to the non-custodial parent. Kind of like congress not having to explain where taxpayer money goes, right?
What's best for the kids? That they have their needs met. This requires two mature adults who put the kids' needs before their own wants. How often does THAT happen? :p | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:10:45 PM | Are we there yet?? This will continue ad nauseum.
If your not happy with the present situation take them to court and see what comes out of it. However, dont be surprised if you walk out with nothing. It's as simple as that. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:20:26 PM | coachjfl: "If your not happy with the present situation take them to court and see what comes out of it. However, dont be surprised if you walk out with nothing. It's as simple as that."
I was done with this thread, but I'll add one more comment....if you're not happy with the present situation, contact your respective congresspersons!
~ds~ | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:55:23 PM |
Its obvious that the reason's women go after sole custody are greed,revenge and control.
This thread has gotten pretty heated since I last visited it, and the above comment is only one side of it.
Why are you all arguing with each other? The people on this group are not your ex's who screwed you over? Take it out on them in court, not on the forums.
Yes, all the systems are pretty messed up. I just wish the adults in these kids lives would step up, courts or no courts. My ex and I have a good relationship that took years to get back, but was well worth it.
We BOTH look out for our kids. It was MUTUALLY agreed that they would live with me full time, with him having every other week visitation, and any other times he wants them. He also pays their health insurance, voluntarily, because he makes more than me, and our kids health is important. All other things are split 50/50.
The nasty comments in these threads are why decent single parents cant get dates....because the one's who are full of drama give them a bad name. Not all custodial parents are leaches, baracudas or any other evil thing you can think of. Not all non custodial parents are losers, scumbags, or any other evil thing you think of.
Relax people, go hug your kids and play a game with them.  | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:00:25 PM | | yea simplelady I think you are right this aint going nowhere, and what you say you do with your ex is respectable as far as seeing his ,hers or our kids, and I can see all opinions come from what side of this legal fence you sit on, if you have the paperwork that says you can do whatever you deem nessasry at anytime the feeling hits you.ITs a great deal,if you sit on the other side and have no say in decisions that are in , or what you think neeeds to be done in the everyday living of the children , its a bad deal. I am not trying to be rude, point fingers or say who is right. but if you will ,answer this one simple question for me. NOT saying you would just saying you could,with the power you hold with being the CP. here is the question!! COULD YOU MAKE YOUR EX HUSBANDS LIFE A LIVING HELL ANYTIME YOU SO FELT LIKE IT AND USE THIS POWER OF THE PAPER TO YOUR ADVANTAGE AND LEAD HIM DOWN ALMOST ANY ROAD YOU CHOOSE, IF IN FACT HE DOES CARE ABOUT HIS KIDS AND WANTS TO SEE THEM??? this aint never gonna end with the fighting and battle of the exes so I guess thats why so many fathers just give it up and dont want the hassel of seeing thier kids on a regular basis, as long as we give one parent the right to do as they please and in more than one way have to be controlled by the one who has the kids ,NCPS are gonna continue to run off from this ,Im ready to, cant handle this much longer, and as far as hugging the kid thing, I will try and remember that in a week or so when and if I see my kids ,if MY loving ex dont decide she wants to do something else control, greed and, and the ability to be down right nasty to your ex anytime you so desire to is the prize to be one in these court battles, must be nice to be on the winning end of things, i just wonder how many CPS could handle it if the tables turned tomorrow ,if mine dont turn this time in court the money will still be paid. Period . but this daddy is done. gone ,and had it. done everything I can even think of to get a fair shake in anything to do with my kids, they aint my kids ,they are her kids, Im just a means of support, Simple answer for a simple lady. and I guess im just a weak ass dude but 12 years of this ,I gotta kiss somebodys behind just to see my kids has MADE me start looking for other options and the ONLY way I see this fight EVER ending is if one walks away and since she has the kids I guess that one would have to be me. and easy too, I got no bills of my own, no kids to tie me down, and no one that could really give a S**T!!! | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/26/2008 2:24:33 AM | Johnny B: To answer your question....no I couldn't make his live a living hell. It just isn't in me. Even when we were first split up, and I hated him for cheating, I couldn't do it. In the end they are still his kids as much as mine. He was busy for the first year we split up, with his new gf, and enjoying his freedom. He didn't see the kids hardly at all..I had to beg him to have visitation, and he would often cancel.
When we went to court, my child support was actually reduced from what we had orally agreed on. He didn't want to be married anymore, but I had to file (using legal aid), because he refused to file. He and I had an oral agreement of $50/week/kid...So I got $300 every two weeks. The courts dropped that down to $262 every two weeks and it has been that way since then (about 10yrs). I could easily go back to court and take him for more money, he makes much more now than he did back then. But what would be the point. It would ruin the friendship we have built back up and worst of all, my kids would suffer the most.
I am sorry you have had to go through all that you have. No parent should be subjected to that. Sadly, the courts don't always see both sides like they should. And you are not weak. After 12 years, I think I might give up too. Just make sure you always keep that door open a crack so that when your kids are of age, they can come find you and build a relationship with you. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/26/2008 3:27:24 AM | To simplelady. thanks for answering the question, and it is nice to meet a lady of your caliber. trust me the door is open extra bedrooms, food in the box etc. but i feel you more than see where Im coming from as far as what can possibly come out of these deals. the money is one thing, yea it hurts, makes things a litle harder but that aint the fight i got going. support money is needed but through this years of fighting ,Im real suprised that the kids dont hate both of us. I Know they hear your dad is a worthless piece of doodoo your mom is that, grandmas, grandpas, friends, everybody seems to have to put thier two cents in and some of the things that ARE said should never be said in front of the kids. they are like computers say it ,they got it.L.O.L. Im just seriously wondering if being adult enough to end this fighting and just walk away from it all would not be the best option, and then hope for better when they are of an age which they can make thier own choices, but I can hear the statements already, see now your worthless daddy has run off too. L.O.L. and Im sure I will here that from many here too . OH WELL what else is new!!! | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/26/2008 4:27:40 PM | | my x has a new partner now and would rather keep her kids than the three he already has, he has never paid a penny toward their up keep and when the csa contacts them he subjects them to a tirade of verball abuse yet her kids have all the things they need! child support is for the upkeep of them until they leave full time education its not their fault that their dad keeps going off and starting new families at the expense of the ones left behind | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/26/2008 4:35:45 PM | "" I Know they hear your dad is a worthless piece of doodoo your mom is that, grandmas, grandpas, friends, everybody seems to have to put thier two cents in and some of the things that ARE said should never be said in front of the kids.""
FINALLY, something we can agree on. These are the types of things that should never be said to children or within earshot of them. FROM ANY SIDE OR ANY PERSON. sure we all say $hit in anger,, but its what you do afterward that defines you as an adult. Yes we are all supposed to be adults, but sometimes even we make mistakes. admitting that to a child is one of the most powerful and empowering things you can do. imagine if the only negative stuff they heard from a parent was that which your ex says about you, but never heard you say anything negative about her or other family members. think for a minute how they would process that information and situation. i am of the school of thought that says, all children should be allowed to make up their own minds about both parents and all other family members without being swayed either way by anyone.
presuming you are referring to things you have said along with other people, lets say,, just for spits and giggles, that the next time you see your kids, you admit that talkin smack about their mom (etc) was wrong and that you are sorry for ever doing that. Dont include anything like, "she pushes my buttons sometimes", thats just blaming her for your actions instead of taking responsiblity for your own mouth and actions. lets say you promise to not do that anymore and to keep whatever issues you are having with mom, between you and mom. imagine what sort of impact that will have on them and what sort of impact it will have on your relationship with them. who do you think they will look at as the more responsible, more decent and more in control of themselves? who do you think they will believe is putting them first, after hearing you say these things to them?
this emotional tug of war is detrimental to the decent development of a child. regardless of if the tug of war is over money( child support ) or anything else. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:32:54 PM | | To trish. yes finally we agree. I have to watch myself at all times NOT to say things that should not be said, and do a pretty good job of doing that. I dont know the answer to what child support is meant for but I do understand the reasons some just walk away from thier children. in this deal anyway you look at it the kids lose something. and in away so does everybody else. I just wish, but I can wish all I want and it still aint gonna help. until the cps try and put themselves in the place the ncps are . it aint never gonna change. It sucks to be the one who has limets on time of when they can be parents and when they are just providers. I hate being a provider ,but love being a dad. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/26/2008 8:17:10 PM | I don't know..my ex has not and probably will not pay a single dime. Yes, it's court ordered...this is just a joke. He's getting away with it too! I get forms all that time from my child support worker to try to locate him...I put the exact information on there...yet they can never find him. Child support is a joke!!! | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:15:56 AM | | To Knee2oo7 I am soory to hear about your deal Not bing able to get ANY support. I dont really want to take this thread off track but its been there many times already so here I go. Some kind of child support is needed Period. But my feeling is here is what is going on. Child support enforcement Dont always do their job.and it is much easier to continue to screw with the ones they got that are paying than it is ti FIND the ones who aint. I have explained much of my situation, here in these threads. the one part I did Not explain was my prison stay. I screwed up PERIOD. I had to pay for that. I got ahold of Child support enforcement even before I went to jail about what was possibly going to happen. and it did. also got with them when I was in there.and kept them updated on my status, and the very first people I got ahold of when I got out was Child support enforcement to tell them I was out and had found a job, gave them the address of my employer. my address etc. and asked them what I needed to do to start to get this all squred away. they said they would get back to me , with imfo, NOT a garnishment came into my employer within 3 days taking half my check, to verifie if I was able to get medical insurance etc.considering my personal situation,of being in prison, there is no break in what you owe or are suppose to be paying,so I was mabey around a thousand dollars behind before I went in. I came out oweing over 30,000.00 dollars. No biggy, I guess ya gotta pay your bills and meet your reqiurements, but not only do I have to pay that back, I gotta pay more for some kind of support that was givin to my ex by the state as the whole time in prison she did not work and still dont, In Missouri if you are behind more than 5,000.00 dollars that is e felony charge so you see I was let out with a felony charge when released. so thats a constant deal I got hanging on me any where I go or try to work, again no biggy the bill needs to be paid. but I cant miss a day of work without getting a threatening letter because a payment was a little bit short since I missed one day.and with the insurance I also pay, the kids cell phones, the truck insurance I pay on the truck I bought my kid and evrything else, this is a rough road. and work two joibs to do it and make it all work, now they want half of my second employers check too . AM I crying ???Waaaaa!!! a little bit. I think your problen is it is MUCH easier for these people to push buttons on there computers inside a nice cushy office than it is to get out on the streets and find the ones who are schucking their responsibilitys as parents. I dont know what to tell you to do. Lasy people do as little as possible in thier jobs. and I think that pretty well somes up the people you are dealing with at child support enforcment. L.O.L. Good luck!!! | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 9:36:14 AM | To feed the bird I think
To hire a other couple that will raise your offspring
If you dump the dad you should also dump the kids or stop complaining. | |
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| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 9:51:16 AM | | Johnny- you kind of made it sound like you think you should have got a break while you were in prison? Why not just give all NCP the choice to work or not and cut out child support? Just because the NCP stops working or earning income it doesn't mean the children stop needing things. How is it fair to them? And yes, I understand that you were IN prison because of failure to pay but I also not a lot of prison systems that allow the inmate to work and pay towards child support. | |
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