|
|
|
|
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 10:08:17 AM | | To fab mom, I already said I got no real problem with what I owe. Some how some day it will be paid , trust me the last thing I would ask for outta anybody it child support is a favor , my meaning was. I know MORE than a few guys just around here that dont pay the support, wont pay the support and aont never going too.Opinions are like you know what, I am doing what I can,and I feel more, and it is for the kids.I just cant fiqure how others can be out here not paying a dime or trying to spend time with thier kids and even bragg the other is never gonna get a dime. I feel once you are in this system they want it all, They take my tax check every year, cool no problem but here is a kicker for you BEfore the ex or kids get the money so despretly needed the state takes thiers first. Imagine that??? so I guess the idea is cons should not be dads or take thier kids to church or talk to youth groups about how not to go to prison. tired of all of this. you win I qiut, gone!!! and I was not in prison for failure to pay. ALways paid!! until prison!!!! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 10:34:28 AM | put them in one of those nice bording school in Africa.And find a new dude that know the meaning of fancy.
Please dont drink if he dump you,dont over eat,instead drop some pound and work some more,change yourself move on.
And run if he said will you be my wife meaning will be my whore beare my kid be my maid for free. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 1:01:07 PM | | Oh and forgot one key issue before I leave. I asked this question to child support on this deal of me being behind. IF I still owe child suppport arrears at the time MY kids are of legal age, WHO do I pay then ??? THe kids.???? The answer was NO I still owe my ex!!! the one who holds two degrees one as a dental assistant and One as a pharmacy tech. and still wont work.Got news for anybody on here or any where, If I still owe 20,000 dollars when my kids are of age, Then one kid gets 10,000 and the other gets 10,000 and this is gonna be a war that is gonna start in about a year.at the time the kid is 18 IM cutting the child support in half. one check to the kid and one to my ex, and when the other hits 18 its one check for her and one check for him and 0.00 for the ex.so the reality is if both kids are of age and I still owe a lasy good for nothing that wont carry her own wieght and they still want me to send the check to HER? you tell me what child support is for. aint for the kids!!! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 1:12:39 PM | | If you don't pay support while the kids are unaderage then you are not paying your portion of the cost to raise them. the other parent is covering your part. Therefore you DO owe the other parent as they covered your part when you did not pay it. Like it or not. | |
|
| |
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 3:11:00 PM | | never gonna happen in this life time ladys.Fact !!!!!kids get it and they will!!! Plus the wiil already in place that gives the kids whatever is there to be split evenly!!!! Bye Bye all !!! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 4:48:29 PM | They take my tax check every year, cool no problem but here is a kicker for you BEfore the ex or kids get the money so despretly needed the state takes thiers first. Imagine that???
if the state is intervening and taking the child support, they are doin so to recoup what is/was being spent on welfare payments to SUPPORT THE CHILDREN! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:18:27 PM |
never gonna happen in this life time ladys.Fact !!!!!kids get it and they will!!! Plus the wiil already in place that gives the kids whatever is there to be split evenly!!!! Bye Bye all !!!
I think this last little exchange between JBR and the women is the epitome of how the two sides see the CS issue.
As a guy who pays CS and has kids half the time, I agree with JBR. Women love to hide behind the shield emblazoned with " In the Best Interests of the Kids " but the reality is that the women benefit just as much. My ex said to me one time that she is completely independent and doesn't need me for anything. Clearly her definition of 'independent' is very different than Oxford, Webster or any other authority defines the term.
Like my ex, many women have a magical accounting system that uses the CS money received from their ex ONLY for the kids. Remarkable. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:23:56 PM | | Well capitano..that covers some of the moms out there.. What about the rest of us?? i really am independant and I really don't need the child support money. How do I know??? well geee..I rarely get it..and when I do I take my son out to the movies or the muesum or something along those lines. Why? Because he deserves it! Example..i actually got CS money and we went to the Franklin Institute this week.. He had a blast and now wants to be a doctor (after going through the heart lol). He SHOULD be paying his part all the time so we CAN go on these little outting just like all his friends do. But he doesn't. Do I hate him? no. Do I wish any ill on him? no. Do I talk bad about him? no. I just went out there and made it happen without his money. And so do alot of us. It doesn't make it right, but someone has to take care of the kids. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:57:58 PM |
What about the rest of us?? i really am independant and I really don't need the child support money.
And I'm not saying it's easy for parents whose ex's aren't involved or don't contribute. I know how much it costs, believe me. I pay CS regularly, and have for the past 7 years. I also have my kids half the time.
My beef is simply that there are women who are very cavalier about the CS they receive and never acknowledge that it isn't always easy for the payor to make those payments, but many men do it and never miss a payment.
My ex is independent, sure, AFTER she gets my money. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:24:08 PM |
My beef is simply that there are women who are very cavalier about the CS they receive and never acknowledge that it isn't always easy for the payor to make those payments, but many men do it and never miss a payment.
I am trying so hard to stay out of this discussion because I don't think it can go anyplace good but I HAVE to comment on this.
How many payors acknowledge that it is not always easy for the payee? Even when the payors payments don't come? We all still need to make it work.
For me, if I hear my son's father complain one more time how his pathetic excuse for child support is draining him, I think I am going to scream. I could go into messy details here but lets just say his payments are no where near "his portion" of what it takes to support his son between out of pocket medical needs alone over the past years that his father was supposed to be covering his health ins but wasn't...but yet I always make it work for my kids somehow. If it means some creative finances, finding a way to make more money when it is nearly impossible, myself going without, etc, I and many others make it work. I never take the bills to Domestic Relations to be tacked on because I don't see a need to add to his arrears...or for a re-evaluation because it just isn't worth the hassle (although I would love to see his response as they told him the new numbers), but he keeps on crying broke.
No one ever said supporting a child would be easy for ANYONE. I do feel for the parents who are being bled for it, and the ones that pay it faithfully and are still being bled...I think that is really sad actually. In the end though, there are many payors out there who don't realize what it actually takes to care for a child. They cry because they have to switch to generic cigs, or can't go out to spend what they want when they want. WAH! 
There ARE good and bad on both sides...again, we all know that the system needs a revamp in some way but there isn't a way to revamp it that would be appropriate for every situation.  Hugs to all of us who have to deal with the sucky system, the complaining exes and the headaches of needing to struggle on BOTH sides of the issue! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:45:28 PM | Agreed..I didn't get a dime for years...what did I do? I worked 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meet. If I can do it and raise a child then he can do it and send support. Don't make en ough...get another job to take care of the obligation. What I didn't go was go crying to anyone about how life is unfair and I needed help. why didn't he pay? I don't know. He never told me anything other then he can't afford it. Was I mad HECK YEA. But I still don't hate him or blame him or anything. I still which he'd take an active part in my sons life. But he chooses not to. His loss.
on a side note. The parents that pay are the ones who get the short end of the stick. It's the ones that dont' who get away with everything. The ones that pay faithfully and miss one payment sit in jail. the ones who don't never see any time. It's ridiclous and completely unfair. they are the easy targets...and it's not fair. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 1:30:29 AM | I always use the Child Support for my children. I also set aside a small amount equally to put into savings accounts for them. That way when its time for them to get cars, pay college tuition..etc..its there for them.
I feel so angry when I hear about parents using it as their fun money. I also think if you want sole custody of your children...you better be able to take care of them without having to depend on child support. I believe in being self sufficient. I planned my children's births....so it is my responsiblity to make sure they are taken care of.
Yes the other parent needs to be responsible too....but you should never be dependent on someone else...keeps you from having to tell your kids they are going to do without this month.
The parents who waste the money or put themselves before the kids need to be brought to task. If they don't have enough at the end of the month to buy shoes, coats,new underwear for their children....but they have new nails and the latest new hairdue...something needs to be done.
Clothing, food, medical, necessities....thats what child support is for.
I am grateful that I am getting child support now....so thats what I use it for...the children. But I never depend on it....I just look at it as a blessing right now. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:18:28 AM | | To the mommy. I said i was gone but just coudnt do it I read your post. Its a good one, in my opinion. I have said this already, this issue is never gonna be resolved. and you said that you put money away when you can. I can tell you right now that everybody needs to do the same in this time. I got guys I know who have worked at places for years and years who are losing, or have lost their jobs, the price of gas, food electric, propane, EVERYTHING is up for both parents , All ya gotta do is pick up a paper to see that things at this time aint good , medical insurance cuts from employers, it goes on and on. This deal is gonna get alot worse,I know guys now who use to make 40,000 + a year that are having to take 10 and 12 dollar an hour jobs. still pay there child support which aint getting paid in full at this time etc. to a woman such as yourself my hats off to you, and I never said that anybody who trys to be a good parent shouldnt have good things happen to them so Im glad you are now getting some support. Its just my feeling that CPs need to also put themselves into the shoes of the NCPS ,money DONT grow on trees but many think ,or it seems, that anytime times get rough I will take the old ex back to court and get more, there aint always more to get. Around here a 10.00 an hour job is considered to be alright, and that is about all you can get unless you drive like 70 miles one way to a chance for a better paying job and look at what gas costs now compared to a couple of years ago. so say a guy or girl makes this 10.00 an hour at what is considered to be a good job . I had an attorney look at my personal income and what I was paying to see if he could come up with a figure of what my Child support should be and what it is , and see what the difference would be, wasnt much, a few dollars. anyway. 10.oo and hour times 40 = 400.00 right ? take the normal taxes out and you will have a little over 300 left per week. right. Chid support is in this case or most cases for an income of this range is about 500.00 per month, per the chart they use to determine what is to be paid by the state. so thats 125.00 per week now you are down to 275.00 a week. at most places I know of around here to add a family plan to your insurance there is an additional charge mine is about 130.00 dollars a month.take that away and you are down to 250 or a little less. it is a law you must have car insurance, you gotta live SOMEWHERE, rent ,or cheap rent around here is 350.00 a month , you also then have the same bills that the cps have and evrybody else has, electric, water , gas, food , clothing etc, so do a little figuring of your own and see what you come up with on whats left.Things are tough all over, and getting worse, FOR EVERYBODY,CPs and NCPS. but nobody can get what isnt there in the first place, I dont have a figure to see how many NCPS are behind on support, Which I did. but I bet the amount is unreal and its going to get worse if something dont change. Everybody in this deal of love gone bad and TRYING to raise kids in the middle of all of this DOES need to try and work together, in years gone by a good job was a pretty good gaurentee of a pretty good life for everyone involved, It aint like that no more , nothing seems to be gaurenteed anymore. so to anyone who has kids you need to start planning ahead, anyone and everyone could lose there job tomorrow ,and two jobs is getting to be the norm for Lots of people just to make ends meet, Problem is NONE of them pay to great. and the one thing that really bothers me is when I hear its his or her responsibility to make sure that his or her kids live in a place that was as good as they had it when we were married ,is a real joke. I aint living in as good a place as I was, and I got a pretty good feelong that most NCPS that pay thier child support and try and take care of there kids aint either. and alot of people are wondering where they are gonna live. and I just cant help it but I THINK that way too many CPS feel in more than one way that for some reason they should have it better because They were awarded the kids and if they give there kids this nice place to live ,dependable car etc. that since they are in control of things there life should be made easier and ride that train of I need more money and things are too hard for poor little old me, and he needs to pay more, in most cases ,more just aint there no more>>> just an opinion. I bet I take a beating on this one but go ahead L.O.L. Being as serious as I can there are many NCPS with jobs that do pay more than enough money to support everyone involved ,and for the people who are more than capable, and many where born with silver spoons in there mouths and could easily pay more and make thier kids life a better place in which to live, and if they can afford it, they should, and shame on them if they dont or wont,but for the normal working guy around here things are tough and again you cant ask for more than what is there to start with. I got my bullet proof vest on, helmet ,etc. so throw the knives and shoot the bullets L.O.L. and THERE are more than afew Cps that dont work wont work and wont ever, between the child support , and lots of other benifits if the cards are played right, There is no need to work!!! Thats the ones that pi - s this dude off , not the ones who are trying, but for some reason the state dont screw with them, but does give them energy assistance, food stamps, it goes on and on, and to get or be elligible for all this free stuff the first thing ya gotta have to get it is KIDS!!! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:32:13 AM | Yea..and you have to make under the poverty line and be under age 25 and you can't live with any family members nor can you have a car that you can sell for money, or any saving or stocks or bonds, because all that counts towards your income level. It's not that easy to get goverment assistance. Oh and any child support ordered also counts towards your income level, whether or not you receive it.
And all of this stuff is available for people without kids as well. The income difference to be eligable is negligable.
I'd love to have rent of 350...I can't find get anywhere for less then a grand. Count your blessings... | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 6:03:55 AM | | Count my blessings ??? Trying to, i got two kids so thats two blessings i do have, I dont know where you live ,I live in Missouri out in the country but things seem to be a little different here. I know some places if you get state aint it dont last forever . and they will only help you for so long and then you gotta either sink or swim, and Im not saying you are wrong and the last thing I relly need is too get into another disagreement with anyone. got more than enough of them going already L.O.L. and Im not bashing anyone, or trying not to. I could however give you a mess load of names of people who are CPs here that have never worked and dont really need to because of all the free stuff that is available here, and in this local court I cant think of more than a couple of guys that have actually been awarded custody of thier kids, Small community so verybody Knows everybody.but anyway i am always open for a learning expience or some fresh imformation, Fact is ,HERE if you do play the game right a CP can survive and the kids can survive. I would not call it living. its survival at its lowest level. but its an everyday thing around here that does go on. If you can win custody of your kids here ,even if you are a beadbeat you can survive ,but ya gotta have the kids to do this and I think that is why the fight for them becomes as bad as it does. and its a real shame. we got some and please hear me when I say SOME that somehow turn this child support, which means you support the kids into since I got custody of the kids ,into they help support me as the CP L.O.L.and that is a real deal ,sad as it sounds it is real. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:06:47 AM | | If you can't make ends meet....get a second job. Get an education so you can make more. I put out 3 to 4 times as much money as I get in child support. I have had second jobs and did not bother to ask for more money. 350 a month! Wow! That would be awsome to get a rent payment like that. I shell out 1200 a month for a 3 bedroom. Most guys who get behind on their child support always have their cigarettes,beer...pot...misc. drugs. I don't feel sorry for them. I don't have the option to tell my kids....sorry...I can't feed you today or give you what you need cause I am broke (while smoking cigarette and drinking a beer). I have guy friends who pay 1100 to 1300 a month...don't complain about it...and still get extra's for their kids. They are never behind. I know guys who only have to pay between 300 to 500 a month for a couple of kids....and they are behind. Why you ask...and this is just speculation....there order was based on their income. Their income is low because they won't educate themselves to do better. BUT...they have their cigatettes and beer! They have their bag of pot! My ex owns a huge stereo system and big screen TV. Matchng dishes and expensive cook ware that he loves to brag about....and he is behind at times. I guess its priorities....where are yours? If you cant pay with one job...get another to supplement your income. I do it all the time as the need arises. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:11:04 AM | 
Thank you the mommy. I'm so sick of hearing I'm broke cause I give the greedy b*tch all my money. Suck it up. Pay your bills. You didn't mind making that payment on that bike so you could ride it. Maybe you should have worn your "helmet" on that other "ride" you took.
PS- If she is being so bad to the kids like you say then stop whining and get them and stop using the excuse that you can't because you have no money cause the EVIl one is taking it all. Make more money! | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:24:49 AM |
If she is being so bad to the kids like you say then stop whining and get them and stop using the excuse that you can't because you have no money cause the EVIl one is taking it all. Make more money!
The trouble is if the guy makes more money, he has to pay more money. There is no cap to CS. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:28:38 AM | | That is true. But she would have to take him back for modification and by then he could have already retained the lawyer and they do not backdate it to the point of the new job hire- they back date it to when the modification order was placed. There are ways to get things done. Saying I can't because of this or that is just an excuse. If you truly want your children then nothing will stop you. My thoughts are is Johnny there just wants to get them so he won't have to pay her support anymore. Which is sad and really not in his best interests financially. It cost a lot more to actually raise children then the child support amount he is sending. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:28:51 AM | Also..I keep the child support in a separate account that itemizes where it ALL goes. So if he wants to see....he can have a look.
I agree....if you wuld have worn a condom....you would not be paying child support.
Of course you have no problem with what you owe...because you don't have to tell the kids they are not getting their new coat today....wear an extra shirt. I would have a big problem if I left my kids in a lurch like that. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:39:45 AM | I think that depends where you live. I make more money than my ex. They based the child support on both of our income. I always consistantly earn more each year...so they won't raise it much if I go for a modifcation. Which you can only do every 1 to 2 years here. My order was set in AZ....their laws mimic Washington State I think.
Child support is not about screwing the "guy" or mom for that matter....its about making sure our kids are well taken care of. Its hard enough growing up....why make it harder for them because they don't have what they need and the little extras that make wonderful childhood memories.
Hats off to all the parents who don't have their kids all the time but never miss a payment regardless. That is love. Its about he kids right? To bad so many make it about themselves... | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:33:21 PM | "feel so angry when I hear about parents using it as their fun money. I also think if you want sole custody of your children...you better be able to take care of them without having to depend on child support. I believe in being self sufficient. I planned my children's births....so it is my responsiblity to make sure they are taken care of."
I think we all can agree that self sufficiency is a wonderful thing, we all want it, some of us have it. but that word, its meaning, doesnt come into play when you are talking about child support. its not about weather or not you are self reliant or self sufficient. One has nothing to do with the other. The attitude that it does makes it acceptable for ncp's to shirk their finacial responsibilities to their children. with the exception of invitro babies, or adoption, it is the moral obligation of BOTH PARENTS, to financially support the cost of raising the child(ren). this obligation does not end simply because the relationship between the parents ends. part of the problem is the social and legal attitudes toward those ncp's who dont pay their "moral obligation". when society makes excuses, and generally accepts non payment as the status quo, then it becomes ok, in the collective conciousness to not pay your ordered support. as well it becomes acceptable to otherwise neglect your relationships with your children. its the easy way out to recoil from the situation than it is to stand up, and not tollerate cp's who use your children as pawns in the emotional tug of war. If the cp is giving you a hard time and denying you access to your children, you have options other than giving up. personally I dont support the notion that says "i can give up on my children", or "they will understand when they get older". Thats the cowardly way out. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:38:56 PM | "To fab mom, I already said I got no real problem with what I owe."
no,, he has no issue with THAT he owes, he, along with countless others, are vague on the concept of WHO they owe when they havent paid consistently and in a timely fashion. they easily bypass that someone else has been paying their "bill" all this time. They dont understand that this "bill" must be paid back to the person who covered their cost for them while they couldnt, wouldnt, or simply didnt. it is because of the built up anger and hostility toward the ex that leads them to this justification for their actions and attitudes. the simple fact is, that if, someone else covers your portion for a time, you owe them that which they paid on your behalf, or that which they covered while you didnt. | |
|
| what is child support meant for?
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:52:39 PM | I agree...it is both parents responsibility. I think one does have to do with the other. Our children should not be made to suffer because a parent is a dead beat. Most that don't pay their child support are also abusers or criminals of some sort...ok...maybe not most...but a good deal. So the non payment of child support is just a symptom of something worst many times.
If CP are just being asses and not letting someone see their children.....take it to court. I believe if at all possible, both parents should be in their children's lives. Unfortunately that is not always in the best interest of the children. No easy answer here!
P trish the dish....I agree....giving up on your children or thinking they will understand when they grow up is cowardly and cruel. This is our mess...we should make it as easy as we can for our kids to go through this mess. CP's who use their kids like that aer just as bad as the ones who refuse to care for them.
We could probably go on for days about this...unless some people out there grow up and pull their head out of their a**, our children are going keep suffering. Bottom line....the children are really the ones suffering. Being self sufficient is just a tool to try and ease their suffering, when the child support is not coming. | |
|
|
| Page 11 of 15
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 |
|
Home
login 
