| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:07:11 AM |
I think the problem lies in peoples inability to understand a post, prefering to cherry-pick at one line. No,
I think the problem lies in people causing their own problems, and then publicly whining about those problems. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:15:32 AM | I so am disgusted by your hypocrisy.
You wanted to play with fire, you did, you had fun with it and now you're all whiny about the repurcussions of your choices.
Is that a baby I hear crying? Or is it a violin? 
You got the free lay and now it's pay day. So suck it up and stop whining. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:33:23 AM | | never claimed to be a saint,and when someone posts like that on here,they are kinda asking to be judged as i said in an earlier post you are all entitled to your opinion but i fail to see where someone who stood up next to a man she "loved" and took a vow of fidelity is deserving of any compassion and gwendolyn i suggest you keep your own post in mind when next you post because from what i see of you,you keep a pretty good pile of rocks yourself | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:00:59 AM | Screw compassion. She is a cheater. There is a special place in hell for people like that. Yes i do have a very strong attitude towards cheaters. She cant even accept responsibility for her actions why should any one feel compassion towards her she CHOSE to ruin her marriage. Also what are the chances she used protection she has n0w put her husband at risk of some serious STDS, especially since he didnt know about her screwing some guy.
As to staying married, you might as well get the divorce since how in the world could anyone really trust that person again. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:37:59 AM |
This site should be called plenty of holier than thou!!!!!!!!!!!
So many people who have never made a mistake in judgement. It must be nice. I have made mistakes, and I more than likely will make more. The difference between the OP and I is that I know my mistakes are mine and I alone are responsible for my actions, not this web site, another person, anything.. it's ALL on me. Admitting the mistake(s) is only the first step. After that you have to own them, accept responsibility, and then learn from them. She got to step one, MAYBE step two, but no further.
As far as showing compassion towards her, I can not do that if she shows nothing in regards to responsibility for her actions. Am I condemning her? Maybe in your eyes I am. As far as showing compassion, if you can show it for an adulterer and chide me for not, you better damn well show it for EVERYONE including child molesters, serial murderers, terrorists, and those that are not as willing as you to show compassion. Anything less is hypocrisy. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:54:18 AM | Ah, but Tallhorseman, there is a difference between you and me: I am not Christian, you are. Your book tells you to love the sinner. It tells you to forgive. It tells you that mercy and compassion are two of the most important qualities that a human can possess and exercise.
Your book tells you not to judge because that is the prerogative of your god. I merely pointed out your hypocrisy. I might have a pile of rocks, but my aim is lousy and I can't throw very far.
She cheated. She is human. She is already paying for her indiscretion. She needs to accept the responsibility for her actions. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:57:17 AM | carpe diem......Actually I was raped and sodomized as a child and as an adult I have forgiven them both. For my own well being I could not carry the anger and continue to allow them to have control. Life is a process.....maybe her coming here and posting is part of that process for her.
Have I said she didnt do wrong? No...she has made a mistake. And to equate adultry with child abusers, and murderers is like comparing someone cheating on an exam to killing the teacher.
Get a grip | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 11:58:38 AM | Sheila, you list "nonreligious" as your "religion," yet you believe in a hell and feel qualified to send people there?
Wow!
Again, she needs to accept responsibility, but damn, the hate poured out toward a woman whom none of you even know is overwhelming.
I bet the most vehement of the people sending her to hell were cheated on. Perhaps you need to find some peace and resolution to your own problems before stoning her.
Remember, it's all about forgiveness--that's what the Bible says, right?
Have I said she didnt do wrong? No...she has made a mistake. And to equate adultry with child abusers, and murderers is like comparing someone cheating on an exam to killing the teacher.
Get a grip
Right on! | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:38:11 PM | We have all made mistakes in judgment at one time or the other. But i can honestly say i have never cheated and i have never lied to my woman. When i was married i never slept behind her back with another woman much less post it on the internet for all to see. Yes we have all made mistakes in judgment but this is really not a judgment call. This is one of those things that you just know you don't do. Theres no rocket science here. You can say we are picking on her but it not that as far as i am concerned. It's calling it for what it is. It is plain disrespect for her marriage'kids and her husband. As for the ones that keep posting to this thread defending her' It makes me wonder if maybe they might be cheaters. Some of the posters i see there point. But some' I just ain't to sure about. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:10:20 PM |
Have I said she didnt do wrong? No...she has made a mistake. And to equate adultry with child abusers, and murderers is like comparing someone cheating on an exam to killing the teacher.
Get a grip I have a good grip on things, thank you very much. You read more into my post than what was required. I did not equate adultery to murder, that was your choice. The examples given were from the standpoint of giving compassion. You had compassion for the people that hurt you more than anyone ever deserved to be hurt, otherwise you wouldn't have forgiven them. You profess to having a great amount of compassion, yet you tell me to get a grip? Doesn't sound very compassionate to me.
She made a mistake, she admitted to it but didn't accept responsibility for it, hence the title to the thread. Yes, I have been cheated on in my past, but have I condemned her to hell? Nope... I'm just not showing her any compassion. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:32:27 PM | First of all I NEVER used the word compassion in my original post . You are the one throwing the word compassion around. I said judgement....It is not my job to judge anyone except those that do harm to me or those I love. As for those who did harm to ME. I gave tham forgivness not my compassion.
I admit the OP could have chosen a better title for her thread. But I'm not going to condemn her for her bad choice of wording for her title. Some people are better with words than others.
As for showing you compassion..........why would I. Compassion is understanding for ones emotional state to help alleviate suffering. Are you suffering? | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:33:45 PM | | Just a question, if she cheated and is sorry for it, why post it on the internet for the millions who did not know about it originally to now know? To be sure, there are people in her local who saw the post before she went underground. When something like this happens and you want to rectify the matter, you let it quietly die and repair with the offended party, not tell the world. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:58:00 PM | ^^^^^^^^out ofthe desert.......
Im not entirely sure on this... (but have read to leave pof a few people have said they had to post a testimony of pof)... this thread is under testimonials.
so the(aware) people who were here early.....knew she had left and would not ever read this...... unless she started another account..
The op........ was completely gone on the beginning of this thread.. account deleted.....
the choice to delete the thread was still up... ( I really thought it would of been deleted.. )
And.. maybe it was also her last way to say goodbye to the married guy(and others she had interacted with) who is still ..(maybe) ...operating on pof.
I would assume her husband when he found out.. stipulated no more contact on sites or with any of the men (she had met/interacted with)...(as requirement to reestablish trust)
Op appears to want to reestablish her family.. so I assume she complied.. and maybe her husband was standing next to her ..while she wrote this..
showing him remorse etc..
anyway.. Hopefully they can repair this in their relationship... and whatever issues ..
they get counselling for etc.
And I guess if the married guy on pof... she met up with.. is being honest re hes married.. on his profile... only people willing to date him will..
Because I feel sad for the people who get lied too, date a guy/
woman then find out he/she is married..
I also feel sorry for the wife of the married guy she had the affair with.... his wife..... it would appear she is unaware her husband is on pof... and meeting others for sex..)
(but noones going to judge him/his actions are they?)
smiles/peace
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:09:30 PM | People do this all the time without POF. You screwed up accept it and move on. You have nobody to blame but yourself and that's ok. Accepting your role in your own life mistakes is a part of being an adult and is healthy for yourself and others. Finding excuses and scapegoats is childish and selfish and is your real problem.  | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:44:43 PM |
I think the problem lies in people causing their own problems, and then publicly whining about those problems.
Even if she were to be whining, why would you cast judgement and hurl your stone? When members of your family do something really stupid and cry about it do you condemn them and stab them and leave them for dead? I would certainly hope not. So why would you do it now? What cause you don't know her? Doesn't matter. It's not about knowing the person, it's about not judging and being open when someone tells you their problem. EVEN if they put it on themselves. She isn't right for having slept with someone else during her marriage. That was OBVIOUSLY a bad mistake and decision. But I'm certainly not going to kick her when she seems sincere as she tries to look for a way to be forgiven by her husband. She's owning up to what she did. Forget the title sentence. That doesn't match up to what she's saying at all.
Far be it for all of us to put ourselves on some grandiose pedestal looking down on people. No one's perfect. No one's God. So why act like one? Why pretend to be one on that high pedestal?  | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:47:58 PM |
So many people who have never made a mistake in judgement. It must be nice.
I've made PLENTY of mistakes in my life. But neither cheating nor lying is one of them. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:16:09 PM | "Sin" is sin; wrong is wrong. Thou are truly holier than your brother or your sister.
And if you say you have NEVER lied, you lie.
At least the OP is an honest cheater.
why post it on the internet for the millions who did not know about it originally to now know?
Will millions of people read this forum? Wow, again, that makes me feel important. Maybe I should post part of my novel here. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:23:16 PM | As for showing you compassion..........why would I. Compassion is understanding for ones emotional state to help alleviate suffering. Good point. And using your own words, why should I show her compassion when I fail to understand the reason for the affair? There is no reason for it and I will never understand why people will choose to cheat instead of fixing the issues or ending it.
Hmm.. her suffering? IF she is suffering, it is because of her own doing. And like another poster pointed a few pages ago, maybe she is here spilling her guts at the behest of her husband in order to 'save' her marriage. Isn't that tantamount to coercion? She didn't do it of her own free will, but at the request of another.. if that is the reason behind the post.
Edit:
Some people are mistaking a lack of compassion with judgment of the person. Have I said she is a bad person? Nope, I've said she made a mistake and I feel no sympathy nor any compassion for her. Burnt Toast asked if I would do the same to a family member, I would. You make a stupid mistake/choice, I'll tell you it's stupid. Something my grandfather told me when I asked him how he stayed married for over 50 years, "Never do anything now you will have to apologize for later." That applies to more than just a marriage. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:29:06 PM | Galon
First of all I NEVER used the word compassion in my original post . You are the one throwing the word compassion around. I said judgement....It is not my job to judge anyone except those that do harm to me or those I love. As for those who did harm to ME. I gave tham forgivness not my compassion.
Actually it was me who first used the word compassion. not in terms of excusing the Op or justifying, but as an alternative to kicking someone all the time.
However its much easier for people too lazy to read the thread to accuse you of saying something that I had :o)
I admit the OP could have chosen a better title for her thread. But I'm not going to condemn her for her bad choice of wording for her title. Some people are better with words than others.
Yup. All it is was a titel choice, the rest of the post is crystal clear with the meaning. This has been pointed out numerous times to other posts who continue to cherry-pick but still they carry on unable to reason their way of of the argument or indeed to acknowledge they are wrong.
carpe diem......Actually I was raped and sodomized as a child and as an adult I have forgiven them both. For my own well being I could not carry the anger and continue to allow them to have control. Life is a process.....maybe her coming here and posting is part of that process for her.
Yeah mate I hear ya. Healing personal wounds makes you a stronger and more able person, you know that already. I know it because my journey is similar to yours.
I do often wonder at the people who get a kick out of spitting bile at others on forums... I do wonder if its their own wounds that still haven't healed.
Have I said she didnt do wrong? No...she has made a mistake. And to equate adultry with child abusers, and murderers is like comparing someone cheating on an exam to killing the teacher.
Get a grip
Yup. You know tha arguement is lost when people start bringing in uncomparable and irrelevant examples. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:43:46 PM | Burnt toast,
Forget the title sentence. That doesn't match up to what she's saying at all
Ah but its much easier to cling on to that title when its the cornerstone of an arguement :o)
Far be it for all of us to put ourselves on some grandiose pedestal looking down on people. No one's perfect. No one's God. So why act like one? Why pretend to be one on that high pedestal?
Wise words indeed. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:45:36 PM | | Maybe some of the married people who are on her playing with fire will learn from your experiance and go do the right thing. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:54:26 PM | ...christian or not,when your actions hurt the emotional faith and well being of others then YOU should be held accountable....tossing around bible quotes, talk of compassion and the analitical thread equation.....are just tangents on the same idea!
if you want to get a piece of tail outside a union ,just go to the local pub on a fr.night!
she said she just wanted to make friends....well, making friends with someone of the opposite sex when your marriage is weak because of your boredom(or ?) is just plain dangerous.......live with the consequences I say......
for me,POF has given me an out let for my frustrations, caused frustrations,brought some idiots and gems into my life ,and brought me countless hours of fun reading! I can not and will not blame anything or anybody for my shite anymore......maybe it was the cancer,getting hit by a truck,my husband leaving,etcetcetc....lol
it has been my experience that people that have seen death and lived are far more mature about about blame,guilt,loss and how to sort and toss!!!!!!!!  | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:00:14 PM | Well said Non- Refundable i totally agree with what you wrote in response to OP.
I use POF just for fun as i have no desire to meet/date/sleep with anyone from a dating site or any other such form of cyber interactives. However although i chat to many here it is good for just that, chatting. Please don't get me wrong i am not knocking the people that do, it's just not for me. Each to ones own i say. But mistakes get made and not always on purpose there are always two sides to a story and many people live in marriages and relationships where they just arn't happy for a number of reasons. I don't agree with affairs but that's just me but i do think that OP was very brave in the respect that first and foremost she met someone from online and that can be very dangerous, which leaves me to believe she must have been very unhappy to take that step in the first place, secondly to risk her childrens happiness, and thirdly to post it on here knowning full well that she ran the risk of such like comments against her.
I hope you are much happier now OP as it's just not worth the risk. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:11:27 PM | Kally,
Well said Non- Refundable i totally agree with what you wrote in response to OP.
I use POF just for fun as i have no desire to meet/date/sleep with anyone from a dating site or any other such form of cyber interactives. However although i chat to many here it is good for just that, chatting. Please don't get me wrong i am not knocking the people that do, it's just not for me. Each to ones own i say. But mistakes get made and not always on purpose there are always two sides to a story and many people live in marriages and relationships where they just arn't happy for a number of reasons. I don't agree with affairs but that's just me but i do think that OP was very brave in the respect that first and foremost she met someone from online and that can be very dangerous, which leaves me to believe she must have been very unhappy to take that step in the first place, secondly to risk her childrens happiness, and thirdly to post it on here knowning full well that she ran the risk of such like comments against her.
Thankyou!!
Affairs are very much the symptom of something underlying that is wrong rather than the cause of a break up. Happy people don't have affairs, simple as that. Apportioning blame is a bit irrelevant in that circumstance. Happy in themselves or happy within the relationship... both important factors.
I actually viewed her post as a closing chapter to what had happened on here, the end of a part of her life on here and a need to clarify things to herself, as much as anything else.
Posting on a public forum can be quite cathartic, it makes you look at yourself on a deeper level.
As for you not wanting to meet/date/sleep with anyone from a dating site..... looking at my own dazzling array of matches.... I can see what you mean.... he he  | |
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