| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:40:10 AM |
It wasnt a clarification, it was trying to push the compassion anaology, however it is still irrelevant as this thread was not about giving compassion, its about being non-judgemental.
Its also about peoples deisire to jump in and knock someone at every opportunity, especially when their lives are not blameless.
This thread is NOT about being no-judemental. You're trying, but you're failing. This thread was started by a person who came onto a site to do what she wanted to do and then proceed to tell us her "sob story". And with that, you get people's reactions. And by the looks of it,,,, all LOT of people don't enjoy people like the OP. Can you imagine?????  Can you imagine people getting tired of people like the OP?????? If you can't, you are not living in this world nowadays. Everyone has a sob story. Compassion is not the answer here,,,,,thinking for yourself is.
I have no problem living my life, making my mistakes, standing up for what I have done, but I have yet to do something stupid and then expect/need/want/ compassion from anyone because I was a dumbass. I would actually question the intelligence of the person trying to give me that compassion if it had ever happened. No,,,,,,really. How bright are they????? | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:51:00 AM | I agree Gwendolyn that talking does not always do any good. I spent the last 3 years of my marriage trying to talk to my husband. Tried to talk to him, get him to do counseling with me... the entire bit. And yes he had no interest in discussion until I told him I was done and wanted to end it. Then he wanted to talk about it.
My ex was not a bad guy either as the OP claims her husband is not a bad guy. There does not have to be abuse for a marriage to be bad. Although I suppose neglect can be considered a form of abuse in some respects.
I also agree that people do rarely stray when in a good marriage. And everyone is different. But my point is that I personally never even considered it. And for those that do and then get caught you can't blame anyone but yourself. No other person or a website because in the end the ultimate decision was hers to make and now yes... she has to live with the aftermath.
The OP may have disappearred after posting this but there are others that may read this forum that are out here for the same reasons she was... maybe they should consider what the consquences of their actions will be if they are caught. Not only what it may do to their marriage but if there are children involved... what will it do to their children.
Maybe they will read these posts and think about it. Maybe not. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:19:38 PM |
I thought I needed someone to tell me they loved me and show interest in me , and I found plenty of that.
Yeah, from everyone *but* her own husband....
What I had forgotten was the 15 years with my husband and that I had 2 loving children that I was willing to cheat on. Instead of taking the time and talking to my husband I found love no, not love , sex with another man. He said everything I wanted to hear but in the end it was all about sex.
Gee, rather than talking to my own husband about how I was feeling, I chose to talk to a bunch of strangers on a website, and then *chose* to have sex with another man...
Yeah, look at "what POF did to you"... hahahahahah... OP, you did it *to yourself!*
You were in a marriage, it was your responsibility to talk to your husband about how you were feeling, not run off having sex with another guy.
Plentyofish was here for me but it will never replace taking the time to sit down and chat with your spouse...
no, POF was your escape from actually having to sit down and talk to your spouse. You chose to escape rather than deal with the reality, and yeah, now you are living with the consequences. | |
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Cazimi
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Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 129 | |
| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:45:46 PM | This is not about throwing stones at a woman who made a mistake .
She confessed here on the forum......to whom ? the husband so he can see how sorry and remorsefull she is ?
The ex lover ........ so that he know what she gave up for that fling with him ?
She wanted people to say , it's ok everyone makes mistakes ?
Perhaps she have regrets, but I doubt that .
It was not a mistake .......it was deliberate, she came here to cheat.
If she was here for a long time and gradually got into the affair , I would say it it was not planned , but for that to happen so soon , I would say she came here to cheat .
She is not the only one who's looking for excitement , there's a large percentage of both male and female , who are in commited relationships doing just that.
Life happens, people get hurt , I admit things are not always black and white ,
but Some people have principles , Some don't ..........
I am sure most of us have made mistakes and done things we are not proud of , myself included but I never planned to cheat , lie and hurt anyone most of all the people I love . | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:00:22 PM | | well op.... one thing that hasn't been said yet, is that for me, this POF site is a lot more interesting then watching that soap opera," Days of our lives." | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:29:15 PM |
but I have yet to do something stupid and then expect/need/want/ compassion from anyone because I was a dumbass. I would actually question the intelligence of the person trying to give me that compassion if it had ever happened. No,,,,,,really. How bright are they???
Based on what I see of you here if you did do something dumbass I doubt you would be able to see it let alone admit it.
As for intelligence.... I know not to argue with a fool, they bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Hence this is my last reply you.
Have a good day. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:37:33 PM | I could not agree more Wimmer, it has been reported that half of all pp on these dating sites are married! I was married for 22 yrs and never cheated on my wife or kids, so I did not have to tell my kids I cheated on their mother!  | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:06:55 PM | Not that I would hold the site responsible in any way shape or form, I do enjoy what they do and how they do it and applaud their efforts 
I just find that the girls could be a little more polite and honest....and have tea with me before writing me off as unworthy to date them. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:19:49 PM | | Beachsunlover, I have been on several dating sites and have had dates with several men, and chatted with lots. I would estimate that only one in ten are married. Either that or I am phenomenally lucky! Where had that been reported? | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:19:50 PM | Based on what I see of you here if you did do something dumbass I doubt you would be able to see it let alone admit it.
As for intelligence.... I know not to argue with a fool, they bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Hence this is my last reply you.
That's it?????? I would expected a little more than just a personal jab. I thought I would have heard about how you (the one that doesn't want people judging), are able to explain to us, how you are the one that can tell people how they should feel about others and what they do.
You may not like them,,,but really,,,,I'm not asking you to like my feelings or feel the same way as I do. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:59:00 PM | "The price of free will is responsibility. " KM
What POF did to you??? This is simple physics my dear. You do "A" & "Y" happens. If you don't want hings like "Y" to happen, you simply choose NOT to cause "A" to occur. POF didn't "DO" anything to you. You did it all by yourself. Every time you point the blame at something outside yourself, you have 3 more fingers pointing right back at you! Buck up! Take responsibility for your actions! | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:14:42 PM | | The interesting thing about this thread is the intense feelings. I agree POF did nothing to her. When you look at this she was married, shouldn't have been here. I posted to a thread about girl/guy night out when in relationship to clubs. More than half said it was ok. Here 95% say she should be burnt at the stake. Interest ing statistics, if half thinks it ok to go out without SO to a club and almost all think cheating is wrong??? This woman put herself and relationship in harms way. That's no different than the other thread where half of everyone thought it would be harmless. Cheating is wrong, no question. We all have stories as to why our relationships broke up, we don't know hers. There's her story, his story and the truth somewhere in between. If you are lucky enough to find a person to love, you must fight for it every day. If there is a God, I think for my part I'll leave judgement up to him. My 2 cents in. Bob | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:21:57 PM | | well woman, youre a whore!this is a dating site not friend making site.you knew it was wrong from the beginning and yet you screwed another man ,not your husband!you got what you deserve!you need to get off this site!your husband needs to divorce your sorry cheating ass and get someone who is faithful! period! | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/22/2008 6:25:47 PM | | jsanotherguy with that judgemental attidtude are you going to go through the profiles of all the married men and judge them for being here looking for women. And this was posted in testimonials.....the OP is long gone. She left POF after she posted thread. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/24/2008 4:36:10 AM | To me it doesn't matter how this was presented. The bottom line is she cheated. POF is a site where singles meet. I wonder how many are on here because of a cheating spouse? If you get on any forum where there is a lot of people that are single because of a cheating spouse and proclaim that you cheated on your spouse then all your doing is opening the door to get bashed by all the ones that know what it's like to be cheated on. That's what this lady did. It doesn't matter what she said except 1 thing. "I cheated on my husband with a smooth talking man" She deserves what she is getting. She asked for it. Simply by talking to much. Some things are better left unsaid. Maybe she would know this if she was still here.  | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:33:38 AM | | I will bet you that she also blames the bartender for her DUI and probaly blames the Shopping Channel for her shopping addiction... I am sure that she even blamed her ex for her affair all the while htat she was trolling POF - What I wouldn't give to read her initial posting....lol Man, take responsibility for your actions! | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/26/2008 3:46:38 PM |
..judgemental attidtude.. Judgmental or otherwise, did he not speak the truth?
Hmmm... must not be politically correct to speak the truth now... OMG!!! I might offend someone!!! Oh, wait... it's compassion I don't have, my bad.. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 3/26/2008 3:49:54 PM |
What I had forgotten was the 15 years with my husband and that I had 2 loving children that I was willing to cheat on. Instead of taking the time and talking to my husband I found love no, not love , sex with another man. He said everything I wanted to hear but in the end it was all about sex. Neither of us planned to leave our families and my husband found out and now I live with it day after day....
All you women who have made those "All Men Cheat" threads.... take notes right now.
read it & learn something.
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:49:18 PM |
Typical chickshiat,,,typical. 
Hey Walt, don't be so quick to generalize. Not all women lie and cheat on their men. There are those of us who believe in loyalty and fidelity. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:40:17 PM | | I have no respect for cheaters. I feel no pitty for you whatsoever. You lied and cheated to a good man and have potentially ruined the lives of your kids for the sex you were lacking at home. Talking is what you should have been doing. Talking might have made things better. If not then there's the door, the names on the Knob. Don't let the door knob hit you where the good lord split ya. | |
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| What PlentyOfish has done to me?
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:32:58 PM | | POF did nothing to you. You did it to yourself. Why did you even go on a dating line in the first place and you are married? That says something about the state of your mind and marriage right there. | |
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