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 Author Thread: what not to put in a profile
 CharmWitCharisma

Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 151
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:32:37 AM
Just read this one;

" Profession counciller"


Not sure if she is a counsellor or works for the council. Judging by the intelligence of those that squander my tax money round here I presume she is working in some high profile capacity for her local council!
 r4reliable

Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 152
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:13:28 AM
dont like the word SOULMATE. you dont know there your soulmate until years of happylife together,
and as for saying your bored, you know what they say about a bored person, there boring,
im bored ,going to do my casserole........>
 princessantonia

Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 153
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:57:55 PM
Oh and why put pictures of your dog on your profile?
What is the point??? If I put pictures of my hamster on my profile, I'd be deemed as a fvckin nutcase.......ooooo, good point! I shall try it and report back.
 westv

Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 154
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:26:56 PM
This thread has made me laugh! Some good replies.

(Checks to make sure profile doesn't contain any of the mentioned phrases!)
 r4reliable

Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 155
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:43:50 PM
and ladies, why say no webcamsex,dirty talk and no naughty pics, and then you go putting saucy cleavage pics on your profile,
take them off so you dont attract the wrong type of guy.
 sonyboy64

Joined: 2/1/2008
Msg: 156
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:16:04 PM
native your cracking me up
 gladitssummer

Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 157
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:23:19 PM
'missing that elusive spark' ?????

I should change my profile to say Im a Corgi registered heating engineer
 mouse74

Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 158
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:42:35 PM
il a nice person and chatty ,,,,,,,,,balls that sort never reply to a mail some one has just sat down and took time to write get real if u think profiles are true then the word mug springs to mind sorry all dave
 Earl Grey

Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 159
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:52:06 AM
Don't put mailing restrictions that make it impossible for anyone to contact you.

I was looking at one profile yesterday of a lady who lived local to me, but her mailing restrictions included 'Must live within 75 miles' and 'Must live in United States. She's probably wondering why nobody has contacted her.
 CharmWitCharisma

Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 160
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:08:15 AM
On a slightly different note on what not to put in a profile, I find actually including some form of punctuation helps. This is has one full stop in it (apart from that she sounds wonderful). Can you spot it kids;

"well im 47 blonde sensual sexy attractive fullerfigured woman im very confident in my self and around people love having fun know wat im looking for kow how to get it and keep the interest there with you im loving sincere kind hearted and am jus got the personality to match and voice i love sport and dancing dinning out staying at home with that special someone love flirting . i dont play mind games dont play with people emotions im up front say wat i want to say honest im looking for a man who is passionate caring loves making love slowly sensual a romantic likes to please and im spoil a woman and knows how to please a woman and knows how a woman should be treated must be playfull cheeky like fun and vey confident i have a 7 yr old son but he doesnt stop me from going out im not looking for a dad i think im doing fine im looking for friend lover on a regular basis i dont like sleeping with different men i know wat kind of man i want so wen i find him i will play and hopefully that can lead us in a direction we are both looking for im not demanding and i go with wat ever happens im not moody takes something very serious for me to get annoyed other than that i am a joy to be with"
 mofwtmy

Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 161
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:11:18 AM
Here's your foot in the door, send her a message with these:-
....,,,,,,;;;;;;;;:::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????


Ask her to use them wisely and your sorted!

Hope that helps.
 MsSunshine60

Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 162
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:29:23 AM
Great thread by the way!!

I'm not impressed with pictures of men in giant hats, too short shorts and a pint of beer in their hand surrounded by a group of mates - lager lout!!!

The phrase - "no bunny boilers" is irrating in the extreme - implies the writer believes he's so hot that women become addicted to him - yeah, right!!!

I'm 55 but feel 20 - immature!!

My friends say I'm ... (fill in the blanks)!! Be honest: YOU say!!!

Oh, and ladies, ladies, ladies - if you don't want "pervs" contacting you - cover yourself up and drop the Jordan/Jodie/Pamela/Jenna pout!!!!

Last but not least: English is such a beautiful language: use it and leave the txt spk to mobiles - sad!!!
 Gut_Reaction

Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 163
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:25:40 AM

"well im 47 blonde sensual sexy attractive fullerfigured woman im very confident in my self and around people love having fun know wat im looking for kow how to get it and keep the interest there with you im loving sincere kind hearted and am jus got the personality to match and voice i love sport and dancing dinning out staying at home with that special someone love flirting . i dont play mind games dont play with people emotions im up front say wat i want to say honest im looking for a man who is passionate caring loves making love slowly sensual a romantic likes to please and im spoil a woman and knows how to please a woman and knows how a woman should be treated must be playfull cheeky like fun and vey confident i have a 7 yr old son but he doesnt stop me from going out im not looking for a dad i think im doing fine im looking for friend lover on a regular basis i dont like sleeping with different men i know wat kind of man i want so wen i find him i will play and hopefully that can lead us in a direction we are both looking for im not demanding and i go with wat ever happens im not moody takes something very serious for me to get annoyed other than that i am a joy to be with"


Hey where is she? Doesn't live in the north midlands or north west does she? Nah not a chance.

I can't understand how my area, which is absolutely miles from the Sea, seems to be full of fish wives!
 ~shortwave~

Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 164
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:31:12 AM
Shame on you Mr G...staffs is full of people from groundhog day I thought everyone knew that!

Ageing males who insist on putting I look young for my age...computer says NO. Most of them look older than my 76 year old dad, and why all the pics in the bathroom?
 Non-refundable

Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 165
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:37:53 AM
I've actually just redone my profiel and divided it into sections depending on what people are viewing my profile for.I got fed up of people asking mw the same questions and being apparently confused about why I am here.
I expect I will still get the same daft questions...
 needsahug3

Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 166
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:17:31 AM
lol! I think I have worked out the bathroom/toilet thing! it's the only place these people have a mirror and a decent light?!!

Another thing fellas, don't have a profile photo with another woman, even if she is your daughter! and don't call yourself after your motorbike or car! There aren't that many 50+ females who want to ride pillion I guess, even if it does help your MLC!
 mofwtmy

Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 167
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:49:09 AM
This is from a profile I saw ------------------------

"right im not sum slapper so dont treat me like 1 if u wanna chat then we will if u wanna **** go find it somewere else allso dont ask me 4 dirty pics cos i will say no ok? IM LOOKING 2 FIND FRIENDS MALE N FEMALE N MAYBE MORE IF UR LUCKY IM IN2 FIT TONED SEXY PPL SO IF UR FAT ITS A NO NO ALSO I HATE HAIRS BODY HAIR EH MAKES ME CRINGE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"

Usual suspect posing semi naked - ho hum!

Men are so shallow, must be the conversation that makes us add to favs!
 Non-refundable

Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 168
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:26:54 AM
Given that so many of the profiles I read state how much the chap loves cooking or how m uch of a good cook he is.....whether I should put on mine that I can't cook and I loathe it!
 ~Missy~H

Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 169
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:44:33 AM

What not to put in a profile?


That your ideal date is curling up on the sofa with a bottle of wine, watching a DVD.
Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn, get your couch potato, alcoholic ass of the sofa and go do something productive.
 mofwtmy

Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 170
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:25:57 PM

That your ideal date is curling up on the sofa with a bottle of wine, watching a DVD.
Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn, get your couch potato, alcoholic ass of the sofa and go do something productive.


No, sod off! my alkie ass likes me sofa! infact I don't even want a date....I'm ok for DVD's can you just leave the wine on the dorrstep and I will have summat to pour no me conflakes?
 ~shortwave~

Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 171
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:38:45 PM

There aren't that many 50+ females who want to ride pillion


I think I have figured out the influx of motorbike pics for over 50s, mid life crisis! Cynical little me I thought the bathroom pics were because their wives were home.
 hotfoxy

Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 172
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:00:21 PM
People who post pictures of themselves with their kids, or even worse their dog!!! As if having a dog makes a man more desirable! "Oh I'll shag him he's got 2 kids and great dane""
 Non-refundable

Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 173
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:06:40 PM

People who post pictures of themselves with their kids, or even worse their dog!!! As if having a dog makes a man more desirable! "Oh I'll shag him he's got 2 kids and great dane""


I've got a sea dragon and a double helix on mine... maybe thats where I am going wrong...
 aquaplane

Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 174
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what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:00:36 PM
That double helix really got me going, I had a very small sex wee.

I find "I've got a Lady partner so I'm not looking anymore. " is the kiss of death. I don't get any mail from folk who are interested at all. Come to that I don't get any mail.

I did get folk emailing to say "you show up in my searches, it's wrong, what are you palying at?" They feking emailed me fer gawds sake, anyway I've hid my profile now so I don't get them either.

If you want a quiet life, hide.

And Missy H, long time no see, welcome back.
 Non-refundable

Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 175
what not to put in a profile
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:14:55 PM

That double helix really got me going, I had a very small sex wee.


Sex wee!!


I did get folk emailing to say "you show up in my searches, it's wrong, what are you palying at?" They feking emailed me fer gawds sake, anyway I've hid my profile now so I don't get them either.


Thats because if you have a partner, you are therefore required by 'fish' law to deleteyour profile... burn your PC... and buy matching coats and slippers and never talk to anyone ever again!!
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