| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:40:56 PM | I'd say your girl is not ready to settle for the attention of only little ole you, and by remaining on a gazillion dating sites, proving it.
She is not ready to be in a committed relationship. You make the decision of if you want to be in a line up and fight to KEEP her. Sounds like a lot of work to me to hold onto an immature woman. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/26/2008 8:48:41 PM | | She is still looking for someone better---she doesn't get it. There will always be someone better--but eventually you have to stop the hunt and enjoy the kill | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/26/2008 11:14:29 PM | Not a hard one; this happens often; you figure she has 8-10 contacts per site AT LEAST that she keeps in contact with. Times that by 8 and she has at least 80-100 guys she keeps in contact with.
She is not into you. she does not care about you. You need to be strong and move on. Dont even ask her to delete her site anymore because she wont; just move on. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:25:58 AM | Oh My ! Without a doubt , this woman wants her cake and eat it too.
Red Flag Here - She's shopping for something better and is not as committed
as you like to think. 8 plus sites - hmmm if she has you why is she on them in
the first place ? Ask her that.
Before you go on any futher into this relationship perhaps you should take
a long look at her actions and communication on the sites she's on. Don't ask
her to give them up , let her know your feelings on this and see just how much
she does want you if she will give them up on her own push comes to shove that
it's the right choice and she chooses you.
You have alot of time and effort into this already if it's worth fighting for give her
the or else or move on to something better and one that will be more committed of
you , I'm sorry this woman is selfish and trying to have her cake and eat it too!!!!!!
It looks like your more committed to her than she is too you , if she loves you and
you two are together she will give up the sites including this one too , make a go of
a relationship with you. However if she does not then move on baby , cause she is
not happy with what she's got plain and simple , it's unfair of her to lead you on
and toy with a good man like you wake up smell the coffee and give her the or else.
8 dating sites no nomal person would do that !
For your girlfriend watching honey
I have this to say
you have a great man pouring his heart out to you
look at what you have in front of you , the grass
is not greener on the other side ,
what your doing to him is totaly selfish and damage to a great guy.
"SHAME ON YOU"
Wake up it's not fair !
do the right thing by him , if not let him go and find
someone who is totaly into him
and will not play the shopping games on dating links.
He deserves a fighting chance
at some peace of mind & happiness in his life ,
he chose you so you do whats right!
LEAVE HER TO HER 8 PLUS DATING SITES
YOU GO AND MOVE ON BE HAPPY .....ENJOY
LIFE HONEY, IT'S TOO SHORT FOR WOMAN LIKE
THIS THAT WANT THERE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!
I wish you all the best hope it works out, with whatever you
decide weather it be to stay with her and allow her to keep having
her cake & eat it too or if you two can work it out and if you decide
to move on whatever you do , hey do it for you whats best~
Brenny | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:56:24 AM | Wait a minute! Did anybody read the update? The OP said her lady has left the sites and they are getting married! He was the only one she has ever met from online and now has committed to him!
So far, looks like there is a happy ending...And we are still telling him to leave the girl!
   | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:06:03 AM | Awww Congrats , Happy for you both
See it worked out well after all you proved
you love her and deep down she knows your
the one .
All the best to you both Congrats be happy
Proves love does win after all !
You are more important than 8 sites wise choice
On both parts , Happy mediums do work .
Brenny | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:24:56 PM | OK, Msg 83 is Update No. 1 and Msg 105 is update No. 2.
The OP isn't coming back because his girl got off the net and committed and they are gwon be hitched. It's so funny, all the cynicism that existed in sooo many posts. There weren't many who said to talk with her, etc...no wonder why we are still here.
Cynicism is the absence of hope.
I like to quote Superman, Christopher Reeve, "When we choose hope, anything is possible."
Best of luck to the OP and to the rest of us. Apparently, we are the ones who need it. It also serves as a lesson for seeking advice in the forums. Sheesh! | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:44:19 PM | | Committed relationship? Not so sure about that. Have you proposed yet? Then, get over yourself, she's still a free agent, no matter how you look at it. I see your point, I would feel the same if I was in love. Can this be a control issue on both parts? | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:50:44 PM | The only thing that matters is a woman's level of interest and the ONLY way
to determine that, is through her actions! Not what she says, or what
a mans Ego wants to believe!
Women are flattered and amused when guys chase them, but it doesn't
promote attraction! | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:12:53 PM | The OP isn't coming back because his girl got off the net and committed and they are gwon be hitched. It's so funny, all the cynicism that existed in sooo many posts. There weren't many who said to talk with her, etc...no wonder why we are still here.
Cynicism is the absence of hope.
I like to quote Superman, Christopher Reeve, "When we choose hope, anything is possible."
Best of luck to the OP and to the rest of us. Apparently, we are the ones who need it. It also serves as a lesson for seeking advice in the forums. Sheesh!
**************
Why are you ripping on everyone Lois? In fact you should be applauding those that said its wrong for her to be on these sites and dont' get serious until she does; she realized what she was doing was wrong and changed it. Happy ending and we were right. Not getting your hostility and anger. People were honest and upfront and even though it wasn't flattering to give the advice it was real, and the couple appreciated it.
Yes Lois we all suck and are jerks; I hope super super much that I make a billion dollars and live to be 200! Where there is hope anything is possible. lol
With your mindset we should only think good things and good thoughts and only see the good in everything and everyone. Well that is your thing, but to some of us, we feel we should be real. We were real and the couple agreed with us and everyone is happy. ah.
People are just giving their opinions to try to help the person posting; they give their own point of view into what they think is right. Everyone's opinion is different.
And just because someone is single doesn't mean they are miserable and terrible. I am very happy and enjoy my life and who I am; when it happens it happens; when I want it to and during the right time.
He asked people if they thought it was ok for her to stay on 8 dating sites; most said no; so if she's off all these sights and are married, then great; they agreed with us too. Being real Lois Lane, isn't a crime. Not even to Superman. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:21:07 PM | I think Lois was just making a generalization of the forums in general and not necessarily this particlular thread. And I do think after a certain amount of time on dating sites people do tend to become cynical..........and some get DEFENSIVE.
I think Lois is just letting us know that staying positive with hope is a good thing. JMHO | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:28:11 PM | | Thanks Galon; maybe your right but I just dont like being painted that way; people gave great advice and were not being cynical in the least. Lois is probably right people are cynical, but in the world today many times you need to be; thanks for clearing it up. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:30:16 PM | So what are you expecting her to do. Lock herself away from the outside world and future contacts with people? And what's with you? Why don't you show some leadership and delete your account? Frankly, you're a hippocrite, and you're beginning to show the ugly signs of jealousy.
This relationship won't last. And please note everyone these are the beginning signs of control and dominance in a relationship. Little girl if I were you, I'd split this scene!
The Eagle | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:32:59 PM | If she was just still on those sites to chat with people, look at forums etc then I don't think there would be a problem so long as she was honest about her relationship status on her profile. However, when you're saying that she's blocking ugly people and adding the hot ones to her msn, it gives the impression that she's still looking for someone to be more than friends with. If it was purely about friendship then why would she be only interested in those men she found attractive.
So in answer to your question, I don't think you're expecting too much, at least not in so far as asking her to stop adding people she's wanting to get together with to her msn and such while trying to say that the two of you are in a committed relationship. Because it really doesn't sound like she's being very committed. I don't think you're lacking trust here, you're being cautious and for good reason. If I were you, I wouldn't get too attached to this girl. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:41:41 PM | I don't think it matters if she's committed or not. The question should be: do you want to be with someone that behaves this way? It's your choice how you respond, just as it is hers to continue her need for flirtation behavior.
Do not be a fool thinking you can talk her out of or change her way of acting. | |
|
| |
| |
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:07:17 PM | | If you're committed to each other exclusively neither of you should have online profiles IMHO. She is not THAT committed to YOU if she's maintaining sites and chatting with other guys. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:58:30 AM | | I don't think you are asking too much at all! If she is still on other dating sites she simply cannot be trusted. Do you want to be with a woman you can't trust? In my opinion she is toying with you | |
|
| relationships/dateing sites
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:32:25 AM | man, when i think i've herd it all i hear this, ok ride your partnership with her if you want , always remember, if you doubt that "something isnt right" about what both of you are doing it isnt right, (IM SO FREEKIN SICK ABOUT WHAT JUST ABOUT EVERYONE IS SAYING ABOUT "FRIENDS", WHAT THE HELL EVER HAPPENED TO 2 PEOPLE HAVING EACH OTHER ... IF SHE AND OR YOU ARE AN AGREED ON ITEM ,AND 1 OR BOTH OF YOU WANT TO REMAIN ON DATING SITES, THEN THEY OR YOU ARENT FINISHED LOOKING.. THAT IS COMMON SENCE,, IF TODAYS SOCIALISTIC ATTITUDES ARE GETTING THIS COMMON PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF ,,, concervative))) need to go somewhere else and i will , so what does that tell you about the goodlooking men getting added and the ugly ones not given attention it says when you are out of the pic she already has them lined up waiting for you to call it quits, what else do you think it could be? lacking trust my ass, bullcrap, to soon ??? you said you are almost moved in,, woman will lie to your face about //// IM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH, people can say this is a new age ,a new so on and so on,, humans are still the same, some of thease woman dont need or want a man anymore if they had a mirror big enough they would make love to the mirror, it is a me me me world , remember when you see a red flag pay attention its a red flag warning you, or you would not be asking,, good luck and im glad im not where you are at .  grampa moses tell me what is goin on with youall in 3 mon.. | |
|
| you are it // the prob
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:02:14 AM | i read your liberal feminististic, crap, you go around iN circles , THE INTERNET HAS CHANGED YOUR LIFE!!I BET IT HAS!!, YOU GET MARRIED TO A MAN WHO, YOU SAY YOU MAY LEARN TO LOVE ,BULLSHIT WOMAN,,, YOU ARE AS UPSIDE DOWN AS THE WOMAN WHO EVERYONE IS COMMENTING ON TODAY.. YOU AND HER SHOULD HOOK UP, DONT PEOPLE LIKE YOU SOCIALISTIC LIBERALS USUALLY GO TO AND FOR BOTH SEXES AND HAVE 2 CHAPTERS OF NEW AGE CONVENTIONAL WISDOM TO CONVINCE YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE why they should say you (may have a point) hahahahahalolololololo you must really be miserable, and ill pray for you, im going outside in the real world and work in a garden work on a car do something.. ive had enough jerry springner internet for 1 day,,, grampa moses..... if you ever want to hear what your grampa or granma would say ,if they werent eat up with liberal communistic ideas just ask me grampa moses im happy without anyone, and when i look i watch out for those red flags...... | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:42:50 PM | Dude, straight up... The 1st thing you need to find out is her dating history and what happened in her relationships. Reading this one thru I noticed a huge "Warning light" to your situation and it's actually blaringly apparent. Let me quote you here...
"I'm happy to say that after a tough old year that i finally met the girl of my dreams after a battle to win her over."
-You-
If you have to battle for them what makes that a dream girl?
I would also assume she knows this was going on for her and potentially liked that. I can say that you're opening of this relationship is going to be key in decyphering the issue at hand.
Only thing I have to say (retorically) is what made your mind say "This is the one?"
I agree with your mindset on the dating site stuff. Granted the attension and flirtation is nice to some but not only is that running the potential for her to be out misleading people (in essence that is an extension of her personal selfishness messing with hearts in order to get attension), but a dating site is something you'd need more when you're single.
True, it is possible to gain friends on here but the thing to keep in mind is when you're in the relationship, you're initially supposed to delete the account and then (being that anyone is a friend) you get whoever's e-mail addresses to keep in contact with.
Now as for your feelings here, I get the conscern since it was a battle to get her. I also get that you may still feel like some of the dust not fully settling from being on shakey ground (If you have to win them over, that will always resound in your mind as a reason to worry. They didn't start out as being "All there" it'll mess with your perceptions.) is playing with you too. In your end I think this is more a fear of potential unknown outcomes with her that's motivating your action and reactions in this.
Personally, I know it's for me if I didn't have to wade through an emotional minefield and/or have to bump somone out of the way to get to somone it's not a relationship I should be in. Why? Love and war aren't the same thing... Love is love and when you bring aspects of war into play it's just war. | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:10:14 PM | | YOUR TRYING TO HARD AND PROBABLY OPENED YOU HEART TO HER(BIG MISTAKE) SHE'S STILL LOOKING FOR HER STUD.. I SUGGEST GET YOU GOLF CLUBS AND HIT THE GREENS HAVE A FEW BEERS, HIT THE BARS AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE WITH MORE SUBSTANCE. SHE'S USEING YOU MAN.......THE GIRLS IN THE BAR WOULD AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH YOU.... | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:13:07 PM | | YOUR TRYING TO HARD AND PROBABLY OPENED YOU HEART TO HER(BIG MISTAKE) SHE'S STILL LOOKING FOR HER STUD.. I SUGGEST GET YOU GOLF CLUBS AND HIT THE GREENS HAVE A FEW BEERS, HIT THE BARS AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE WITH MORE SUBSTANCE. SHE'S USEING YOU MAN.......THE GIRLS IN THE BAR WOULD AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH YOU.... AFTER HOUS I MEAN... | |
|
| Opinions Needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:29:34 PM | well, i hope you have dumped her and moved on.....
she is not showing you any respect, and sounds like she is pretty insecure with herself if she has to keep these sites, only for "attention"....
she has other motives and it doesnt sound like shes serious about you.... | |
|
Home
login 
