| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 4:16:49 AM | This is interesting because I met a woman and she called me every day and I found it a little too much. I didn't say anything because she works a stressful job and I thought that she wanted to call to get things off her chest. I didn't for a moment think it was because she was lonely or needy, but I still felt things should have been slowed down a little. Anyway, she hinted at me to send her flowers, so I did, then she turned round and told me it was too 'full on' LOL...this is after a month of her calling me every day!! So anyway, it all turned out to be a series of misunderstandings. I'd been sending her brief emails, she didn't like sending emails, so the reason she called was because she didn't want to appear rude by not responding to the mails. Turns out for every mail I sent she felt she needed to pick up the phone, lol. The flowers, she said, weren't a hint atall, despite the fact that she said, "Now, if you want to impress me, send me flowers." But what she meant is, "Now, if we ever develop a stronger relationship, flowers will impress me."  We both talked things over and realised that we both thought we were doing the right thing for each other, but weren't. And it was all just cross-wires  | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 11:43:34 AM |  to you spiralmind.
Mis-communication is the root of evil in the internet dating world. Instead of posting here "why do men/women do this..." just ask the person you are speaking about. Easy stuff and you'll know for sure.
Everyone is different. What is too much to one is not enough to another and we have to guess which one is which. I have probably come across as contacting too much once or twice but that is because I enjoy talking to people. It sure is not because I've fallen in love or am needy. Its not necessary, per say, but it doesn't bother me to talk every day to someone that I'm interested in getting to know better. And I will tell a person that too much is too much if it is... | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 1:57:53 PM | | Hey, DAMN IT!!! Be thankful. How much have you dated, anyway? You should be greatful that he likes you and wants a relationship. If he didn't, he would not call. He is a keeper. At least you are sure, he wants to move to the next level. I hope you like him, because he likes you! | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 3:28:15 PM |
Hey, DAMN IT!!! Be thankful.
I am.
How much have you dated, anyway?
Nunya bisniss.
You should be greatful that he likes you and wants a relationship.
Well we don't know what he wants yet.
If he didn't, he would not call. He is a keeper. At least you are sure, he wants to move to the next level. I hope you like him, because he likes you!
I do like him, never said I didn't. So don't yell at me missy lou. He is patient and mellow, and just today I told him thanks for letting it be easy for me to be who I need to be. So schtick that in your pipe and smoke it.  | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 4:07:37 PM | | When someone you just met starts calling you multiple times a day, or sending you 500 messages, it makes you think--"Bunny Boiler". It also makes me think that if we were to start dating, they would not have many interests of their own, and I would totally have to forgo any kind of independence. Not good. | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:08:17 PM | Maybe you really don't want a guy? your here seeking attention and as you don't want a guy, should not give out your number and maybe just maybe delete yourself from all dating sites until you decide what you want from life? Seems to me he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, have you posted another topic, Why doesn't he call for days ????  | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:12:00 PM |
your here seeking attention
No, not an attention seeking thread, just pointing out something I see happening...and others do too if you read their posts.
and as you don't want a guy
Who said I don't want a guy?
should not give out your number and maybe just maybe delete yourself from all dating sites until you decide what you want from life?
I'm supposed to know what I want from life? Oh gee. Maybe you're right. I'll just delete myself from the world.
Seems to me he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't, have you posted another topic, Why doesn't he call for days ????
I never said I didn't understand why they don't call for days. I think we are ALL damned if we do and damned if we don't....hence the thread.  | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:27:37 PM | When I have a guy that is calling way too much, I just don't answer the phone everytime. Plus, I have a whole host of reasons he shouldn't call me.
1. I'll be taking a nap.
2. I'm having friends over.
3. I'm right in the middle of a project.
4. The dogs are whining for a walk.
5. I'm cooking and the pot is about to boil over.
It's so much easier than trying to explain that I would enjoy talking with them on the phone, but not quite so often. | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:28:14 PM | It's so much easier than trying to explain that I would enjoy talking with them on the phone, but not quite so often.
Easier, i.e. avoids conflict.
I've read at least one thread where a man called a woman, set up a date... and then didn't keep in touch until just before the scheduled date to say "are we still on?" Naturally, the woman had assumed that the guy had forgotten about her because she hadn't heard from him in almost a week. Well, there really has to be a happy medium. If you've just met someone, you really need to be able to "give them space" so they don't think you're a stalker. On the other hand, if a guy makes a date with you more than a few days in advance, he should call every few days to make sure that the interest is maintained.
Calls should be made to set up meetings, not for idle chatter. Why would a guy want to talk to a girl when they can't see her body language? Actions (not words) are what give away the girl's interest level. A call once a week to set up a date is advisable, and these should be short. | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:36:29 PM |
I never said I didn't understand why they don't call for days. I think we are ALL damned if we do and damned if we don't....hence the thread.
Actually if that were the case, then this thread would be pointless and hopeless.
An easy way to handle this whole situation is when you first meet the person, TELL them when you're going to call them and let them know how you handle the phone. Some people like to talk every day; some don't. Just imagine what would happen if grown adults actually learned how to communicate... | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:07:12 PM |
I know, man! But the flip side of that is ok I do like this guy and do want to talk to him, but if I say you know, so far I like you and want to get to know you better, but every day is a bit much.....I have done that before and sometimes it hurts their feelings and then they think either a) I'm a *B*, or b) I don't like them. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or have them think I'm a *B*, so I usually just go with the flow. I'm just bringing this one guy up because he called me 4 hours after we talked for the first time, after a 1/2 hour conversation. I do like him and I did call him back, and he asked if he could call tomorrow and I said yes I'd like that, and I meant it. I just wondered what you all thought since this seems like such a hard issue to tackle--and it shouldn't be!!
Sometimes I have the problem with being a bit overbearing with a girl that i really like. I've found that the best way for the girl to handle the situation (AKA doesn't make me feel like crap) is to make it obvious that she has a busy schedule that only allows for conversation every so often. This way it doesn't make the guy feel self-conscious, and they know the reason why they can't talk to you all day.
Normally, I would say "Just be straight up and tell him" but this is just one of those situations where if you don't approach it exactly the right way, it's going to erode the whole relationship. | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:37:33 AM |
An easy way to handle this whole situation is when you first meet the person, TELL them when you're going to call them and let them know how you handle the phone. Some people like to talk every day; some don't. Just imagine what would happen if grown adults actually learned how to communicate...
Gee, what a great idea, just simply tell someone during the first conversation that the way I "handle" the phone is that I like to start out slowly, one to two calls per week, and perhaps build up steam.....cause that doesn't sound weird at all, does it? And sorry, but this is right on the money:
but this is just one of those situations where if you don't approach it exactly the right way, it's going to erode the whole relationship
The hard part to navigate is the fact that you don't know the person you're talking to yet well enough to know how to approach it without coming across like a moron.
But hey, thanks for assuming I'm not an adult who knows how to communicate. Actually I've got that part down. And the guy that prompted the start of this thread? He was so overbearing he brought flowers to my work before we even met (which was scheduled to happen like a week later). Scared me right off. So I guess asking him to slow things down a bit really helped in that case. | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:49:00 AM |
I did say give me a call, but I didn't mean every hour on the hour!
Chuck him to the weeds, baby! Any guy who harasses you so badly clearly has mental issues. MEN DON'T ACT THAT WAY!!! And besides, how many other men are available around here? Lots.
Cheers
Timberking | |
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| Why does someone call constantly when they just met you...
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:01:31 AM |
I did say give me a call, but I didn't mean every hour on the hour!
Thus usually means one of two things:
1. This is a higher level of attention than most people will maintain, so it amounts to promising more than they will deliver, or
2. This is what he's like all the time, and if it's already too much, is this what you want? | |
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