Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > holding in the gas      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 The Ace in the Hole
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 51
holding in the gasPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
^^^Be careful what you wish for. I just might sink your battleship...I scare myself sometimes. *sh!t shiver*
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 52
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/27/2008 10:02:30 AM
Garrison Keillor (well-known author) describes a fart in a chapter in one of his books (Lake Wobegon Summer 1956) in the chapter ... What Foul Blast Is This? ... as follows: Apparently the school principal was in the classroom lecturing the students when he accidentally let a fart.

"The room was still. And then his (the principal's) body sort of tensed up and gave out a low ripping sound, and suddenly a terrible sour shitty smell was all over the place. It smelled like the outhouse burned down. And the smell didn't go away. This was no ordinary 59-cent fart but one of those quiet, deadly ones, a sizzler, mean and dark, a stink submarine.

Like anyone else, I maintained a healthy interest in farts, all ten varieties –
**The SBD (silent but deadly) ...
**The slow leaks ...
**The hissers ...
**The fizzers ...
**The poppers ...
**The croakers ...
**The bangers ...
**The cheek-flappers ...
**The tail-gunners ...
AND
**The cargo farts ... the ones that deliver a load

This was in a class all its own. A small dark cloud of a fart such as an alien from outer space might deliver to Earth, necessitating the evacuation of cities."


I have 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. One of my daughters was occasionally capable of clearing a room. I mean we are talking about really raunchy.

She once came to me and asked, "When is it Okay to fart in front of a boyfriend?" I told her, "As soon as you can get by with it." She said, "No, I mean a LOUD one." I said, "As soon as you can get by with it. If they'll let you get by with that ... they're a KEEPER."

 loverlyone
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 53
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 3:55:40 AM
i have got to wiegh in here.

for some odd reason, the last lover i had was actually further arroused when i farted during intercourse. this discovery was made quite by accident, of course. he was totally surprised by his own reaction. he thought it might have had something to do with trust, my comfort level, and/or the fact that i was completely ungaurded with him. i was just so focussed on the sensations being provided, i couldn't have stopped to disentangle and go to the other room. whatever it was, he was the best lover i have ever had.

sigh......
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 54
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 6:52:21 AM
bit of a passion killer to have to stop and go off, only for the fart to not happen, have to admit that sometimes something seeps out, very silent apparently :)
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 55
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:48:18 AM
Yeah I always hold in the gas! I think it is disgusting when someone burps or passes gas in front of u. I don't care how long u have known them. I don't have a problem burping ever. If I have gas I hold it in or go in the bathroom and turn the fan on and let it out. That is the proper room it belongs in!
 grammy18
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 56
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 10:12:49 AM
And then there are the times when you are driving down the highway, the kids (4) are riding in the camper on the back of the truck when you pass by a paper making plant. If you have never experienced this--it is like a huge giant has passed giant, putrid gas! and it isnt just a quick skunk pass that fades in a minute--this takes a few more. Well, the kids didnt know what this was, all they knew was that they been gassed--and no one was owning up to it!! It was a riot going on back there!! You did it!! I did not!! She did it!! It was so bad the camper was rocking. Me? I was laughing hysterically in the front seat along with my husband. Couldnt have planned anything better!!!
 The Ace in the Hole
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 57
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 11:26:00 AM
I lived in Cornwall, ON for a few years where the Domtar paper mill is. Oh my WORD it stank. Every day. I lived about 5 miles from the plant and I could smell it on any given day. The acid rain and the smog were RIDICULOUS.
 American_Iconoclast
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 58
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 11:46:56 AM
This is the best thread ever. I have nothing to contribute to it. Carry on.
 [Duchess]
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 59
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/28/2008 3:41:56 PM
Thats awesome cotter!!!
I held it in for ten months. And he soon found out why. Now he runs.
 mikerdw
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 60
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/29/2008 5:23:37 AM
wow. glad ur all enjoying this thread.
yeah, i forgot to mention the hole in the "forcing it in" approach, which is - when you both fall asleep!
unless expelled prior, anything held in from that evening will inevitably come out -probably in large (and especially loud) amounts - once you fall asleep and are no longer conscious enough to make such an effort. oh no! its gonna be a LONG night.
 uofijamie
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 61
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:41:16 AM
My ex husband would fart where ever he needed to. I pleaded for one rule... NOT AT THE DINNER TABLE. But apparently that would have been too difficult.
My dog slept under the covers and there were quite a few times that she came up for air. LOL
A piece of advise for everyone. Crop-dusting. If you can do it silently, walk around the place and slowly release as you walk. Then noone can tell who it was... just remember to keep walking for about 30 seconds after you are done. (Of course this only works in a place with lots of people).
 grammy18
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 62
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/29/2008 1:19:26 PM
OMG!!! CROPDUSTING!!!! I have never heard of that term in regards to this topic, but have experienced it well. One day after a family get together, we deciced to drive over to the mall about 40 miles away. There were about six of us, and, after eating a very rich, satisfying dinner, and a 40 mile ride, all I can say is "It was abrewing "
Well, we get out of the car and start shopping in a big shopping center, when the brewing needs a let out. We all go our separate ways to "crop dust". All of a sudden, I hear OMG and hear sputtering and here comes my daughter around the corner complaining about the stench on the other side of the counter. We just looked at each other and shrugged. Well, son-in-law, had been abrewing and aholding in the car and now was crop dusting!! It seemed like every which way we turned someone was getting the non-benefit of the dusting! Needless to say, with our family, we were laughing so hard about the unawares (the other shoppers) being "delightfully scented" that our own crop dusting started. It was a halarious evening to say the least, and one that stays in all of our memories.
 SnowKitteh
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 63
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/29/2008 2:10:03 PM
Alright so grammy and the guy who's afraid to poo in other peoples houses are my new heros.

Though I won't poo in other peoples houses either. I understand that one. There are too many gastro-intestinal problems in my family genetics for any of us to be proper and dignified about farts and poo.

Actually just in the car ride home last night my sister (13) decided to share with us all that she won a farting contest with a few of her friends.. And she's the one my mother calls "My little girly girl"

^_^;
 TheLimey
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 64
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/29/2008 7:29:12 PM

I held it in for ten months.

Ten months??
You must have been HUGE~!!
 zopz
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 65
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/29/2008 7:49:57 PM

She once came to me and asked, "When is it Okay to fart in front of a boyfriend?" I told her, "As soon as you can get by with it." She said, "No, I mean a LOUD one." I said, "As soon as you can get by with it. If they'll let you get by with that ... they're a KEEPER."


An offense like that would, by default, mean war.
 lifelovesliars
Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 66
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:22:56 AM
Dutch ovens.

I hear that's when you know it's love.
 grammy18
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 67
holding in the gas
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:07:55 PM
my sister in law once told me that my brother would, when they were laying in bed, spit into the air, she would, of course, duck under the covers, then he would hold the blankets over her head while he ripped a huge one!!!!! (my brother would NEVER do a thing like that! yeah..........right..........)
 crazybutworthit
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 68
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/4/2008 5:28:14 PM
I will never hold in a fart! If I gotta fart, I'm gonna fart!!
 JRJDallas
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 69
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/4/2008 5:35:14 PM
ROTLMAO!!! What a great topic!
 patti_mk
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 70
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/5/2008 10:59:09 PM
LMFAO!!!!! OMG I'm in tears laughing! can you say Spontaneous human combustion ? haha or could just blame the dog :)


I lived in Cornwall, ON for a few years where the Domtar paper mill is. Oh my WORD it stank. Every day. I lived about 5 miles from the plant and I could smell it on any given day. The acid rain and the smog were RIDICULOUS.

yeahhhhh we got one of them too right across the harbor from us,ya can tell when its gonna rain YUCK! and then anytime we drive past it one smartass always gotta say "Patti for gods sake excuse yourself" FOR 32 friggin yrs!!!
 ChattyCathy1
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 71
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:02:47 AM
The PNB farted in front of me tonight for the first time.

OMG.
 American_Iconoclast
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 72
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:33:13 AM
When we were kids there was a guy they called Matt Fat who would set his farts on fire.

He was actually pretty popular.
 _relle_
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 73
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:03:39 AM
Someone once told me that you know you are in love when you can let one go in the presence of the person you are with!!
 ShinyToyGuns
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 74
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:51:18 AM
LOL The worst is when you've had spicy food and you're trying to hold it in, and it makes a massive rumbling roar in your stomach like a hunger pang x 100! haha
 happyrebel
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 75
view profile
History
holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:33:40 AM
After about 5 months with the ex b/f, he let one go in front of me for the 1st time while we were watching a Sox game. Well...I figured if he could, I could...it was NOT appreciated. Seems it was only ok for him to do it whenever he felt like it, but that a 'lady' would retire to the appropriate place....WTF? After having been in a 23 yr relationship where any body function was considered 'normal', I felt humiliated.

I have to be really comfortable with someone first-it takes months. After the ex b/f, it may never happen again

And Duece, I'm with you---I don't like to use someone else's toilet either. Funny, my sons won't go at school, so they both rush in as soon as they get home and argue over the main floor bathroom or the next floor. I remember doing the same thing as a teen. Yet when we are very young - we'd go whenever we felt the need - if Mom could find us a bathroom.

My sons learned early in life to beware when I made homemade peasoup (husband's fav). I'm not sure if it was all of the garlic or the peas, but the hubby & I could definitely have heated a town in Alaska!

HR
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > holding in the gas