| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:28:39 AM | well,,, I was laughing so hard I farted on a first date,, who cares,, it just made me laugh harder,, and my date he was the one who blushed,,lol.. better out than in ya'll | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:22:21 PM | Thanks, everybody, for a good laugh. What terrors some of us suffer over gas. My friend the chiropractor always says women are the worst because they hold it in so long.
But here's a practical tip: I recently discovered that when suffering terrible gas for inexplicable cause-it turned out to be Prilosec!!! I ditched the Prilosec for a few days, let my stomache acid return to normal---no gas! | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:34:41 PM | Meh....just arm yourself with a book of matches....yoi...there's a Monty Python skit | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:52:00 PM | | Major Faux Pas. I'm sure the other Denny's patrons didn't find it quite as amusing. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:08:49 AM | | Being a lady & all, I don't fart. But just last night, my new guy did. Takes the relationship to a place where I'm not sure I want to go. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:09:48 AM |
On our first date, my ex boyfriend decided to wow me by removing his shirt and showing off his body - I commented on his six pack abs, and he informed me that when he flexed they were even more defined, so I asked him to flex and ... as he flexed his muscles - he let out a MASSIVE FART ! His facial expression went from smiling, to emotionless, I could tell he was MORTIFIED for farting in front of me, and was probably wondering if it had ruined the date, and what I would think of him .... But luckily for him I am not a prude, farting is natural ! and it's kinda funny. I couldnt stop laughing ... whats even funnier is how it went from him being humiliated to fart in front of me, to being so comfortable that he'd rip out 4 farts in succession right next to me in bed.
Recently dated a guy who did the same thing he couldn't stop doing it after that....Kinda made me feel more comfortable around him so after a few drinks at his i needed to let out a little burp only to get told off for it being a pathetic lady burp and to try again  men - simple things eh | |
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ikiera
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Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 82 | |
| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:03:00 AM |
On our first date, my ex boyfriend decided to wow me by removing his shirt and showing off his body - I commented on his six pack abs, and he informed me that when he flexed they were even more defined, so I asked him to flex and ... as he flexed his muscles - he let out a MASSIVE FART ! His facial expression went from smiling, to emotionless, I could tell he was MORTIFIED for farting in front of me, and was probably wondering if it had ruined the date, and what I would think of him ....
Lisa, the hilarious accounting of your first date!
My mother always said that she didn't know what a fart was until she met my father.... his favorite story was when they were in bed one night, had just finished making love and both were lying back enjoying the good feelings.... when he all of a sudden started to groan and wine that he had a cramp in his foot, got her to go down under the covers and he let out a huge fart! She of course was mortified.
I still laugh hysterically at that story..... gawsh darn it is natural, stinky but natural. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:54:39 AM | | thaaaat's right...it's the little things in life that can be the most amusing...and fartin is free.....hahahahaha have a "blast"!!!! | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:08:55 AM | double standards, guys fart, girls don't.
And the wierd thing is I'm turned off by girls who do, yet I did it from the first date on.
(married happily now for years) | |
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ikiera
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Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 85 | |
| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:32:26 AM |
thaaaat's right...it's the little things in life that can be the most amusing...and fartin is free.....hahahahaha have a "blast"!!!!
rydndirtync...
you should write commedy for a livin.... loved your profile! | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:06:20 AM | | thank-you...it's me....like me, love me, or leave me the way ya found me..LOL | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:28:13 AM | OMfG ....never worry about gas, I near just peed myself reading this! whew thank god the bathroom isn't far | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:48:24 AM | cliffhangerTX, if an "intimate" decided that she was "comfortable" enough around me that she could just "rip one" and laugh, I would be out of there in a New York minute.
If you can't take it into the bathroom or outside for me, that says a lot.
A "fart" is actually molecules from shit spread out into gas. They are small pieces of shit that enter your nose and go into your lungs and register in your brain. That's one little gift I can do without. ..... well, except my own, of course, which I rather find interesting. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:55:21 AM | | Did you know there's more fecal coliform found in tap water served at many restaurants and hotels of the grandest scale then there is in your own gas? I say sniff away, and order packaged apple juice at McDonald's if you are concerned about inhaling shit-clouds, Randy. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:53:37 PM | | Holding it in till it hurts will cause a herniated colon, also known as a diverticulum. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:05:05 PM | All these women who claim not to fart...
All I have to say is:
youtube.com
Just enter "girls farting" in the search box, it appears that some women are VERY proud of their farts....& there's a few on there who should get a medal.. LOL! | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:52:42 PM |
But heaven forbid I do anything human and he thinks it's gross and makes fun of me.
He's probably just p*ssed that you let out better farts than he does. Maybe if you at least let him win a belching contest or two, he'll lighten up a little... | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:41:49 PM | there is a simple little club that MANY men (and women) I know belong to..... It's called FAF...... Farts Are Funny!
Grandad used to say if it don't pay the rent... OUT with it!
Or better to let it out and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain.
How about "Dang a couple more notes and that would have been a song!" | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 4/25/2008 8:39:59 PM | My grandad told me about a club, too, the****y-Do Club.
Its when your belly sticks out further than your****y do. :-)
couldnt resist, sorry........didnt want to "hold it in", I might get diverticulitum or something........:-) | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:15:38 PM | | I will hold it in when I first get into a relationship with a man......But I learned that after you fall asleep and you have been holding it in, they no longer stay in. And they do make noise. I fell asleep with my ex on the couch one night during a movie and one came out, kinda woke me up as it did and I was mortified lol He laughed and told me it was cute and if I was comfortable with him it wouldn't be an issue. But my comfort levels vary on certain things. I love ya doesn't mean I gotta smell to show ya | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:04:48 PM | You know, it's not a far leap to guess that farts, burps, etc. were the originators of all human humor.
Just think... A bunch of cavemen sitting around a big fire. One farts and the fire suddenly gets bigger. Laughing.
Good times...
It's human nature to fart, and it's human nature to laugh at farts.
Heck, the first time I was ever given oral, I farted accidentally after trying to hold it in, and I will never know how red my face was, because I never got the chance to ask her.
Oh well, that's just the way things end up going, eh?
I just say "what, where?" They wonder what I'm talking about...
"Barking Spiders. I just heard one. I hate spiders."
~ David | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:15:36 AM | | That's so nasty. If some chack I barely knew let one rip I would definitely be gone before she finished releasing her noxious fumes. | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:32:53 AM | | Well on the first couple of dates I would stay away from the taco bell grande meal if at all possible...It might also help to take a good dump, and choke down a handfull of gas-x with a malox chaser prior to the date...Howeaver once you have been together for a while and reached the comfort zone, waving the covers is in order... | |
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| holding in the gas
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:11:01 AM | | At damn near $4 a gallon, open your gas tank, have 'em lean against that for awhile | |
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