| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 3:37:14 PM | I'd keep it moving personally to someone else as I'd like it a helluva lot better if she said she was SINGLE than by all means pursue, but I don't give a crap if she says she doesn't see the guy that often because the main thing is she is still seeing him.
But if you're not looking for anything other than a platonic friendship than by all means continue to talk with her, but just don't get your hopes up thinking you'll take her away from her boyfriend. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 3:40:33 PM | If you hit it off, you should be friends. Certainly it is common practice to compete for those we have an attraction for. As long as you're ready to risk the friendship.
Yet, who knows, maybe she'll decide to you're more her match.
Recently I was chummy with a cute woman. When I found out she was married, I told her I was going to ask her out until I found out. Her friend said: "You should ask her out anyway!" | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 4:23:45 PM | | I would venture to say she indeed does NOT have a relationship. How can she, seeing him only 3 times a month??!! Go for it. Ask her out. What have you got to lose? | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 4:44:55 PM |
I would venture to say she indeed does NOT have a relationship. How can she, seeing him only 3 times a month??!! Go for it. Ask her out. What have you got to lose?
See, someone who makes sense!  | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:01:20 PM |
See, someone who makes sense!
Well, someone who agreed with you at least.
You have to do what you have to do, and by the sounds of it, you've already made up your mind. But imagine, if by some chance she becomes your girlfriend will you ever wonder if she is making 'friends' with other men at any point? | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:02:01 PM | It truly amuses me just how lightly some of us view commitment.
A few years back while traveling i met this truly fantastic lady that was sitting next to me on a flight. The flight was about 5 hours so we had alot of time to get to know each other. I like her , she liked me, only problem was she lived about 2000 miles away from where i did. But the attraction was so strong that we decided to give the long distance thing a try.
At best we saw each other a few days out of the month. She would fly to see me and i would fly to see her. The time we spent together was always special, we packed alot of great times into those days. We were in a full fledged relationship, even if we were only seeing each other a few days out of each month.
So i have to ask, is it then ok for some girl to try sniffing around me like a dog in heat because i only see her a few times a month?.
Is it ok for some guy to try dating her because i was 2000 miles away?.
The Op also says that in love it's every man for himself. That only holds true if every man is starting out on equal footing. If the Op thinks it's ok to break up some other person relationship just because he likes this guy girlfriend, That shows he might be lacking in moral fiber.
To me there is no difference between someone being married and someone being in a committed relationship. It's all about commitment, and that's something i take very seriously.
Never try dipping you pen in another persons ink. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:16:18 PM | Like a lot of other people, I think there are plenty of people out there who are single so why bother with someone who's attached (or semi-attached)? I'd hazard a guess and say that there might even be other women in your area who are just so darn cute too. ;)
Aside from that - she's not exploring her options yet so keep it platonic. The fact that you know she's not exploring her options yet makes it sound like you guys have gotten something out in the open (your interest? her exact status?) - and it sounds like the signal to BACK OFF! She's told you she's in a relationship and she's not exploring her options right now ... please focus on the "not exploring" and not the "right now" part of that sentence.
If you don't care about any of that other stuff, then go for it. But don't go whining to your friends that she's a game player if she never gives you the greenlight and you feel like she's stringing you along. *shrug* | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:19:42 PM | Black...who cares what YOU did? It didn't last, after all, so why make the comparison?
And if you think, by this post, that the chick is COMMITTED, then you and I have read things VERY differently. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:27:14 PM | I say OP should try and get a few f**ks out of her then toss her to the curb.
If she cheats on him with you... you KNOW she isn't gf material.
She cheats on him... she'll cheat on you if u get serious with her. Get what you can and jet outta there! | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:44:12 PM | At best we saw each other a few days out of the month. She would fly to see me and i would fly to see her. The time we spent together was always special, we packed alot of great times into those days. We were in a full fledged relationship, even if we were only seeing each other a few days out of each month.
Meanwhile, she's going out dates with a man in her home town, of course she won't tell YOU that. 
The Op also says that in love it's every man for himself
No, I actually said, "All is fair in love and war."
That shows he might be lacking in moral fiber.
Aren't we all to a certain extent. (Here's just an example) Here we having people living together out of wedlock, having sex before marriage and you're telling me that even me considering a woman that's taken (not married) but taken.....lacking in moral fiber?
Good one! | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:47:51 PM | " And if you think, by this post, that the chick is COMMITED, then you and I have read things VERY differently"
That i totally agree with, We do view the world VERY differently.
I have no idea why it's relevant how many times a month this girl sees her SO. If it's working for them why are we so concerned about it. The Op seems to want to make decisions for this girl. " It can't be much of a relationship if he only sees her 3 times a month" .
Can someone tell me why not?. Who are we tell others what's best for them. The Op is very good at rationalization, i am guessing he would be a very good used car salesman.
But no amount of rationalization in the world will make trying to break up a relationship sit right with me.
But i am not the keeper of the OPs conscience, nor would i want to be. I can only do what's best for me, if the Op feels this is morally correct, then by all means he should go for it. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:56:03 PM | Boy this has been an interesting thread.
First off okeedokee, I don't know why I always had the impression you were a female, problem with not being able to see who the person is posting.
When you and she first met she let you know she has a boyfriend. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant, if she doesn't then she's not interested in you. Other wise she wouldn't have told you she had one, and gone through the trouble of describing the situation.
However it doesn't seem to matter what people say, unless of course they agree with you trying to get involved with someone that says she has a boyfriend, and you don't think her relationship is "healthy" for her.
What if her bf was in Iraq? Would you make the moves on her then, since after all he might eat a bullet for this country, and geez we certainly would be doing our civic duty by saving her from the pain of losing a BF to that kind of death.
Like the majority, if she is interested, let her do the moving; other wise you are behaving no better than a hound dog. If that is the reputation you want to live with so be it.
Hey it would put you in a good league with Mister Incognito, because he is even more fond of the idea of just using her...
Real nice, no wonder the dating scene is such a disgusting, distasteful place to be | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 6:42:01 PM | Hey, all it took was some guy in our group (who, by the way, has a girlfriend currently), said "Eh, they all have boyfriends", with more of a "Don't let that stop ya" tone.
Apparently, he's been in the group long enough to see relationships come and go. Anyways, I cannot break up the relationship, only she can.
Who knows how things will turn out in the future, she might fall for me, and dump that guy. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:29:42 PM | I can't stand it when folks talk outta both sides of their mouths...
NO ONE here knows my views on the world, I beg your pardon. Again, I will stress that by the OP's words, this girl sounds no more committed than I am to a mental institution. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:40:26 PM | the BUT is huge...
you can persue a "friendship" but you can not control your emotions -- and if you ask me -- your playing with fire... and in the end it will more than likely be you that gets burnt.
I'd get out before you get too attached! | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:44:31 PM | " This girl sounds no more committed than I am to a mental institution"
You're in a mental institution?????? Ahhhhhh the plot thickens. It is all becoming crystal clear now grasshopper.
The Ops post in obviously tainted, he is going to write it in such a way as to get the answers he wants. I take everything the Op wrote in regards to this girls relationship with a grain of salt. The girl knows the kind of relationship she is in, her reality and the Ops version of reality, is obviously hugely different. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/24/2008 11:11:27 PM | You're trying to rationalize wedging yourself in there. Stupid.
Then on top of that, someone that makes sense is someone that just agrees with you and says almost exactly what you tried to already. I hope you realize it's likely that she will still be leaving herself open even if you DO end up with her. If she's looking right now, what's to stop her from keeping from a full commitment with you?
You're just asking for trouble from all sides with this one and refuse to listen to anyone who disagrees. | |
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| Pursuing somoene tha'ts taken, but....
Posted: 3/25/2008 5:50:33 AM | Update....she has me on her friends list on MySpace....and she has recently put up photos of her going out to a club or something or bar...and she's got pictures of her flirting and dancing (one pic of a guy picking her up...because she' s a small woman).
Hope this 'Contruction worker' doesn't start kicking his butt.
And yes, the boyfriend does exist, because he she has, "This is my Sweetie" underneath his photo in her gallery in her pics area.
So obviously she's going out, flirting with other men during the 27 days of the month where she's not seeing the boyfriend.
He's more of a part-time boyfriend.
So, what do you make of this, I have found photo graphic evidence, that her relationship is a sham. | |
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