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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:34:05 AM | Nothing happens in a vacume...I think that in a relationship we all have to look at what built up to the cheating. I think men or women...cheating is a choice and they decide it on their own...and blame the spouse or partner that "they made them do it"...however..sometimes I think its both parties perception of what is really going on in the relationship. If your perception is rose colored...you use it as an excuse to cheat....or you ignore the signs that your partner is not happy. Either way..we are always suppose to be responsible for our choices and take the others heart into the decision making process. Its not how they see us..its how we see ourselves. Do you want to be able to look into the mirror and like the integrity that you see? Or someone that degraded anothers life? It does take two...and i am not talking about people with sexual addictions...I am talking about the relationships we set out to have with a functional partner. Addicts have their own agenda and we can't really do anything about that..except, not accept that kind of behavior from any addict or mentally incapable person who can't have a healthy relationship with someone. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:45:23 AM | i have been in love a few time, had long lasting relationships but never found a man that could be truely faithful. i have never given a man any reason to be unfaithful and if i can keep my hands off another man while im in a relationship then why carnt the men im with?
OP. If the pattern repeats itself, then look in the mirror for the answer!
Nothing happens in a vacume.
Amen!! | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/2/2008 1:19:05 PM | | Yes there IS some "faithful" and "decent" men out there. Yet often why is it women often want to go for the "bad boy" over the "decent" guy then keep wondering all the while why their relationships aren't working out? Often those "decent" men have been in front of you the whole time yet he keeps getting overlooked. I have a female friend that would rather be with a guy who belittles her until he gets what he wants, lets his jealousy run off most of her friends and making her have to lie about being with those she does still have so he can appear as "the only one that truly cares for her", hits her... , family doesn't like her and he said he chooses his family over her every time, and 8 years later (not married) she still keeps running back to him swearing she "loves" him and he "loves" her. Always come crying or angry to me when things get rough. Then gets mad at me telling her she might be better off finding someone, anyone else besides him. And I've seen this quite a few times so why is it that there are women who would choose someone "bad" like that over a "decent" guy? | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:51:21 PM | | He cheats because he can. You are exchanging sex for committment. Am I right? Did you make it clear to him that you are exchanging sex for committment? Did he break his end of the bargain? Then, sue him. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:04:56 PM | There are good guys out there ... somewhere ... Being unfaithful and lying is just not worth it to me either ... You realy dont know what you got till its gone ... You will find someone who is good to you ...  | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:17:47 PM | . . . have been in love a few time [sic] . . . Never found a man that could be truely [sic] faithful. - red-alert
> You say in your profile heading that you are "looking for a good man." Well, I've just read a thread, started by a woman, who insists that the term "good woman" is sexist. (I wonder what her definition of sexist is? I wonder if she could say? I wonder if she knows who is responsible for these New Age terms - sexist, racist, feminist, anti-feminist, ageist, etc. I doubt it. But she uses it anyway - to make men who are seeking 'good women' feel bad about themselves and to make herself feel superior.)
> I digress. You say that you have never found a man who (a man is a who, dear lady, not a 'that') could be truly faithful. I don't understand the difference between faithful and truly faithful. Either you are faithful or you are not.
> My advice, for what it's worth, is to get your hands on a book called Awareness by the late Anthony de Mello. It is a worldwide bestseller, and yet you don't see it heavily advertised. It is a book that people recommend to others, as I am recommending it to you.
> After you have read this book, even the first time, you will never think the same way again, I assure you. You will never 'complain' about men, or women, or anyone else ever again - about their behaviour, their thinking, their actions. You will realise that everything comes from you. This may seem like a difficult idea to get your head around, but when you read de Mello's book you will see things falling into place that you never thought about before.
> Good luck with everything.
> Best wishes - Soul Union. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:28:20 AM |
Yes there IS some "faithful" and "decent" men out there. Yet often why is it women often want to go for the "bad boy" over the "decent" guy then keep wondering all the while why their relationships aren't working out? Often those "decent" men have been in front of you the whole time yet he keeps getting overlooked. I have a female friend that would rather be with a guy who belittles her until he gets what he wants, lets his jealousy run off most of her friends and making her have to lie about being with those she does still have so he can appear as "the only one that truly cares for her", hits her... , family doesn't like her and he said he chooses his family over her every time, and 8 years later (not married) she still keeps running back to him swearing she "loves" him and he "loves" her. Always come crying or angry to me when things get rough. Then gets mad at me telling her she might be better off finding someone, anyone else besides him. And I've seen this quite a few times so why is it that there are women who would choose someone "bad" like that over a "decent" guy?
Ok I hate to sound so cynical, but I wish one of those "bad boys" would write a book. "Bad Boy for Dummies". Cuz I really need it! lol | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:05:03 AM | | Unsure where to go to from here. Met a gal online back in 1998, my Dad/Grandma passed the same year. Anyhow I left because of the uncertainty of the relationship. Now since November of 2007, we started talking again. She had moved to SWEDEN, been there since 2002, never even knew it. From what I've been told by her she lived in the same town I did for 1-2 years & we never crossed paths, I've worked in the same town she lived in between 2000-2002 since 1998. Well now, since November 2007 we talked non-stop, I went out & bought I don't know how many International Phone Cards, ran up 2 bills over $300 for sure, she flies all the way over from SWEDEN for Valentine's, spends a week with me, it was great, the sex was great all week, the communication skills went 10 fold, I spent $165 for dinner on Valentine's at Minnesota Zoo, we went & bought rings, I called my Mom & told her we got engaged, the reason I left 10 years ago was she was in this big hurry to get married & move in together, so she flies back to SWEDEN for 2 weeks, packs up all of her stuff, 3 boxes of clothes, 2 suitcases, 2 dufflebags, flies all the way over here back to the states, is with me from March 17th, 2008-April 18th, 2008, then she gets a car & splits with friends, she's never home. We barely talk, is it me? I thought there was something there. HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:56:48 AM | Cheaters or people who are unfaithful, itsdoesnt just happen ok, it's their decision, not yours or mine, i spent 4 years with one, the worst years of my life, a pathalogical liar, and sociopath, we all have choices, and we all know where that fine line is. some choose to step over that line and most of us dont, its all about the choices we make.
They will never change, only if they want too, but most think they are not cheaters, cos theyblame others for their actions, hence the mind games they put yo0u thru,
My advice, get out while you have your sanity, nothing will change, you will be the only one that really suffers in the long term | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:22:37 PM | Yes there are. I am one,but I can't speak for the gender nor the species. I was horribly betrayed by a wife of 25 years, and had to find out that she had been lyiny since well before we were married. I was crushed. She proclaimed me to be a kind, gentle, faithful, great guy, but I found that I didn't know who she was at all. Would be great to be able to trust and love again, but hope is dying. I ask for a lady, friends first, who feels as I do about honesty, fidelty, and loyalty.
I am one. surely there are others. Is there a faithful and decent woman out there looking for the same qualities in a man? | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:44:12 PM | There are plenty but so what? You women have clearly demonstratd , by your behaviour, that the only men you are after is the current flavour of the month. Used to be rock or sporting stars. Now it's everything from celebrity home renovator to clelb chef.
Those guys get mobbed be they single or happily married.
The second group, the women tolerate, are the cheaters and abusers. They keep breaking up with them of course but they also keep returing to them
Faithful and decent men? Most of these can be found still living with mom age 35 not because they are momys boys but simply because the girls don't want to know about them. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:57:29 PM | | Yes; you should be looking at yourself and why you choose cheaters? Take responsibility. Don't blame all men because you have chosen poorly. | |
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| YES THEIR IS!!!
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:08:26 PM | WOW ! that really makes me sad that you have had such luck, I really don't know what to say except that we are all responsible for our own actions and the choices we make whether good or bad is up to us because when we meet someone we have to be able to read in between what people are telling us is BULLSHIT or the truth this is the internet,lol I'm just trying to meet someone and have some fun and if it lesds then something more GREAT!! then if not maybe a friend.
BULLSHIT and really the truth! I know i've been their it's really hard.
and what is true! Pay attention to body movements and motion | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:09:48 PM | "is there faithful or decent men out there"
Lots of them.
I think most of them are cr@ppy at dating and the few others usualy find what they are looking for pretty quick.
I found most women uncompatable. I didn't like their character, I didn't like the way they looked or they were not that great in bed. I had a very limited selection of women I would be willing to be with and I still found her.
I am very faithful but most of the women on PoF may not consider me "decent".
If I was having problems with making poor choices of those I was dating the first place I would look would be in a mirror.
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:42:11 AM | | I keep saying this . " woman are looking for guys who don't play games , cheat . are nice to them " . so then why , Iam still on here ? I live in wisconsin I WOULD NOT make you think I am cheating on you lieing or playing games . OK , so this MAY be my downfall . on a first date . I want to see IF anything happens . no sex . I get a second date it, nice third date . I let the woman make the rules SHE wants . IF , I get another date . after all that . THEN , I can think of us as boyfreind and girlfreind . | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:15:33 PM | I m a decent faithful man ...i was married for 11 years and the only reason i had to leave was my ex drank every night and did some drugs i dont drink or smoke when she started drink more that was it ..i tried to get her help but she didnt think she had a problem ...
and the next person i fall for i will still be the same decent and faithful person thats just who i am....not all men are pricks ....most are i will give you that.! nuff said.
Robert | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:25:46 PM | there's a one liner i heard a long time ago and it still sticks with me to this day...the stupid shall be punished.
there are good, decent men out there all over the place who treat women with respect and are faithful. if you can't find them, it's because you are a class A screw-up and not really looking for them. maybe instead of being in here playing the bleeding heart liberal role, you should be searching for one of those good men...instead of the losers you keep going after.  | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:31:45 PM | | the main thing about your past relationships is that the most common part of them is you. You need to learn how to make better choices. That's all I can really say. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:32:19 PM | Men dont know how to be faithful red-alert.
Bless them they do try and tell us they try very hard, but from reading the forums, men just cant get that little thing to stay put with one woman, long enough for a relationship to develop  | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:48:49 PM |
Men dont know how to be faithful red-alert.
Bless them they do try and tell us they try very hard, but from reading the forums, men just cant get that little thing to stay put with one woman, long enough for a relationship to develop
If what you say is true, I kind of wonder what kind of woman, will have an affair with a man who is married or in a relationship,, wait your going to say all men are liars too.. and that the women didn't know,,, if that's the case God must have a plan for you woman,, he just wants f666 with all women,, if that not true,, and women know men can;t keep it in their pants,, and you are all being cheated on,, why the hell are you woman having sex or a in relationship with a man,, we all cheat, lie,,
men must be smart, knowing woman will always come back for more abuse...
I would conclude with the statement you made, woman are stupid, why haven't you woman banned together, stopped having relationships and sex with men,, do you like being lied to and cheated on,, you must,,
Do I believe what I just wrote,,, NO.. but the statement I just quoted is just absurd | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:11:50 PM |
if you keep things alive and are happy together then why play away, you men dont know what youve lost till its gone.... is it really worth it?
Yes there are many. But you never notice them and you shit on them. Open your eyes. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:46:39 PM | yeah, there is. Right here. Never cheated since my 1st ever gf. But then other things go wrong! Or they cheat on you! It's dog eat dog almost- Frank said it best- That's life.
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 6/4/2008 2:46:46 PM | Op...i spent two years with a woman, a long distance relationship...the first thing she told me was "no man has ever been faithful to me" she said she had left the guy before me because he cheated on her...when he found out about us he decided he wanted her back...i spent two years being the #3 in a triangle...she told me the attention was unwanted and like a man in love i came to the defense of the woman i loved only to discover in the end that not only did she seek and encourage the attention but she spent time with him including trips to the beach,lunch ect ect.....in short...women do it to.
The fact is there are plenty of decent men out there...women do not want them...they are not exciting enough...they are not in therapy enough...they do not perceive them as being desired by a bunch of other women...they don't have the mind of Ernest Hemingway or Shakespear to flatter,adulate,glorify and fawn over a woman in every possible manner,they don't have the bank account of Trump or Rockefeller to make the crooked paths straight or bring the former and latter rain and provide constant entertainment and diversion...the are regular hard working men...women are so fond of telling men that they should consider a "real" woman,maybe it's time women started considering real men and not some romance novel's idea of a man. | |
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