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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:18:23 PM | | This is the best thread yet! You guys (men) are harsh, but what you all have said I would agree with. I have nothing profound to add, just find it quite humorous. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:21:05 PM | | The only commonalities in the relationships is you. I have never broken up with a man because he cheated nor have I ever had any reason to believe afterwards that he did either. The men I have dated whether it worked out or not were honest decent people. I would question the type of men you seem to be choosing. | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 53 | |
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mxk883
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Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 55 | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:29:48 PM | This is the best thread yet! You guys (men) are harsh, but what you all have said I would agree with. I have nothing profound to add, just find it quite humorous.
It's comforting to believe lies and hid behind then, sure it's harsh to face the truth, buck up learn grow and get on with it; given the wallowing in misery and bitterness opposed to facing the harsh music and growing ........ give me the harsh to learn from for sure.
I'm not bitter, far from it.
Though you apparently invent "studies" to demonise men ....... curious.
It's not a negative attitude, when someone has run into it time and time again, and they're asking a question..are there decent men anymore?
Indeed it is, because it's blaming and all things like that start with the self, not blaming an entire gender for something that the person needs to deal with.
Personally, I think anyone who puts down a question, is telling the person that what they think isn't valuable.
Of course, because you support the assumption, even to the point of inventing "evidence". My point was challenging the thinking behind the initial question/statement, which is obviously the issue, opposed to the state of "all men".
By the way, I don't know the link, and I really don't feel the need to pull it up,
Because it doesn't exist in any credible form .......
I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK IT UP MYSELF AND PROVIDE ANYONE THE INFO. You see, I KNOW WHAT I READ! hehe ;)
Oh indeed, some people do choose to believe what supports their assumptions or emotions; opposed to actually questioning anything, or sourcing out new or different credible information.
Hence the argument against the OP, it's an assumption based on previous experience that is projected with the attempt of "proving" that they are blameless because all men are X. hence why it's that which has to be addressed, opposed to any hearsay about 80% of men.
The only commonalities in the relationships is you. I have never broken up with a man because he cheated nor have I ever had any reason to believe afterwards that he did either. The men I have dated whether it worked out or not were honest decent people. I would question the type of men you seem to be choosing.
Cute and wise, a killer combination, you can have a post Easter chocolate cookie !
No, seriously mxk883....there's an article about it....and a study was done....and everything....seriously.
When I read that for some reason I had Cartman's voice from south park going in my head, seriously .......
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| Are there faithful or decent men out there short answer: yes
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:38:16 PM | | I don't know...I don't think anyone is stupid, but I do think many are jaded, sadly. :( Although I said I wouldn't respond to anger issues, I will say that I also stated that women do it 70% of the time too, according to the study -- that's hardly going against only one gender. Maybe I'm biased against my own gender too, hehe. Don't shoot the messenger. ;) | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| Are there faithful or decent men out there short answer: yes
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:41:41 PM | but I do think many are jaded, sadly. :(
You seem to be living proof of that for sure, my condolences.
Demonize men? That's interesting, I could have swore I said women do it 70% of the time. I guess some of you can't read,
Indeed, you did, opposed to any supposed study ...... the things I typically read are ones that are written and published opposed to the imaginary ones. Also I thought you "had a life" and weren't going to be here trying to argue about something you just made up ? | |
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| Are there faithful or decent men out there short answer: yes
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:45:13 PM | If I pulled up the info for you, and actually did the legwork for you, this supposedly would make me a better person, in your eyes? lol. Well, one of us has to be a grown up and I suspect I will have to be that party, as usual. Have a good life, friend. hehe
Tsk, tsk...ladies, need I say more? | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| Are there faithful or decent men out there short answer: yes
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:49:18 PM | If I pulled up the info for you, and actually did the legwork for yourself, this supposedly would make me a better person? lol.
Depends on how you feel about backing up your claims ......... opposed to presenting jaded opinion(s) as "fact" and then using that to try and evoke a response to play the victim against "those kinds of men", to perpetuate such a belief.
As for being a better person that's up to you not me, doesn't effect me either way.
It's the iron clad empirically tested study of truthyness about cheating men that I'm interested in.
This question has been asked so many times,it's become redundant.
Indeed, and typical response(s) and root cause of it all are always the same, hence why i'm challenging it, opposed to making up stats to support it. | |
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| Are there faithful or decent men out there short answer: yes
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:56:40 PM | Drm, that's good to hear. I tend to agree, somewhat; it is a bit redundant. But, not everyone has read all the threads. I try to take that into account. After all, there are a lot of them, eh?
Oh, and if it was you that messaged me, just awhile ago, sorry, but my messaging thing is acting funny. :( It pulled up some ebay ad, when I tried to respond. Don't ask me why. Maybe I clicked on something wrong. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 1:57:00 PM |
5. It happens over and over again. No one let's go of the anger. Everyone assumes everyone is like that, and presto...angry person is left, assuming everything, whether right, wrong or indifferent.
LOUD BUZZ SOUND!!!! think again. not every assumes that and has issues letting go of anger. If your like that don't assume every one else is.
I have had women cheat on me and I still trusted every woman I dated after till they gave me reason not to. I have even had friends ask me why I am so trusting. I look at it like this, if their going to cheat they will, why worry about it with out knowing. I just hope I will find out before its to late, like after they gave me a disease. I don't expect the women I date to cheat and the ones that have it was a big surprise to me and our friends | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:00:43 PM | | I meant generally. I wasn't referring to myself, nor anyone in particular. I certainly didn't indicate anyone specifically. It's just the way I see it, based on other people's responses to each other...especially now a days. I certainly would hope you, personally, wouldn't think that way, but I suspect many do, and that's why they end up jaded. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 66 | |
| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:04:18 PM | I meant generally. I wasn't referring to myself, nor anyone in particular. It's just the way I see it, based on other people's responses to each other, now a days
You're origional argument is that people who get upset at being told their are cheaters (i.e. this magic 80% of men) you can assume are cheaters because of their response.
So, if someone accused you of being a child molester and you got upset or offended , it must be true because you got upset ........... good work Sherlock.
Hence the problem with your self fulfilling prophecies :
Personally, if a guy starts responding with anger to a typical and normal question here, such as the one you asked, I would consider him to be one of those that would be more inclined to cheat, because he is showing negative reactions to something normal.
If that isn't jaded and bitter I don't know what is.
......but I suspect many do, and that's why they end up jaded.
Assumption is not a fact and unless one can prove otherwise, it is also NOT recommended! This has been an unpaid advertisement.
And advert to yourself I'd think ....... so you're going to prove your assumption otherwise now ?
No response necessary, especially since that's not even close to what I said. Doesn't anyone really read what someone says?
That was a direct quote I copied from your post ..........
"I would consider him to be one of those that would be more inclined to cheat, because he is showing negative reactions to something normal." This is called an opinion! Last I read, everyone has one and everyone is entitled to it.
Is that backed up in your magic study as well ?
I do not believe everyone cheats, but according to the stats I saw in the report, based on a NEWS report I read, 80% of men and 70% of women, cheat.
Which you can't even give us the name off ........ most likely because it's hearsay.
I'd say all the posts have been on topic because it's about people presenting jaded opinion or made up beliefs in an effort to support a baseless belief, and it's not the details made up stats or opinion that is the issue, it's that they are believed that is the issue.
And to think...one of you ladies could be subject to constant arguing over every word you say, even if the party doesn't understand what you're saying -- just because they like to argue.
Every word ? ......... just the source of one little report ........ that you still can't cite, what's the point of being passive aggressive about that and playing the victim, just tell us who or where the report was from so we can go read it, or can't you ?
Nice thought, eh? I would think the one above would argue with a stop sign, hehe.
I challenge lies that people hang onto to support dysfunctional beliefs for sure, especially when they try to spread them around.
I can understand that you're upset at not being taken on your word for such fanciful jaded opinion that you've presented as "fact" and that you've got your own pain and agendas behind wanting to believe it, though actually just answering the one question that would give any credence to what you're saying would help you out a lot.
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:07:56 PM | "Claiming" made up stats, does not necessarily make it so. Assumption is not a fact and unless one can prove otherwise, it is also NOT recommended! This has been an unpaid advertisement. hehe ;) No response necessary, especially since that's not even close to what I said. Doesn't anyone really read what someone says? lol Putting two of the things one says together with each other and claiming it as 1 fact, does not make a each a fact. One is a fact, the other is called an opinion. See below:
"I would consider him to be one of those that would be more inclined to cheat, because he is showing negative reactions to something normal." This is called an opinion. Last I checked, everyone has one and everyone is entitled to it. :) Maybe people should learn the difference?
Anyway, getting back to the op, before this thread gets deleted...sheesh; I do not believe everyone cheats, but according to the stats I saw in the report, based on the NEWS report I read 80% of men and 70% of women, cheat. That doesn't mean all of them do. Amazing, eh?
And to think...one of you ladies could be subject to constant arguing over every word you say, even if the party doesn't understand what you're saying -- just because they like to argue. Nice thought, eh? I would opine that the one above would argue with a stop sign, hehe.
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:11:41 PM | Yes I'm one of them and there are many. It's just finding them. I split up from my ex. over the dreaded drink. Her not me. Had plenty of chances but never strayed. 25 Years together. Teated me like Cr*p most of the time. But Alas Never strayed once. (unlike her) Am I proud of the fact that I never gave into temptation "OH YES". The same goes for any partner that I'm with. If you love them then It's one girl guy. If you don't then move on and no one gets hurt... Simple!
Hope you find your man. I'm sure hes out there. When you do. Yes girl it's worth it. XXX FHA. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:13:37 PM | | if all men are cheaters; then all womens are cheaters also, they wait for someone to show the any attention, then that gives them a reason to justify what they do. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:17:40 PM |
Msg: 1 -- you men dont know what youve lost till its gone.... is it really worth it?
I could ask the same question of some of the women with whom I have been involved. I have ALWAYS been a one-woman man. But, repeatedly, I have been with women who have chosen to "go out on me" with other men.
But do you know the SHOCKER? It is when they decide to come back and PRETEND nothing significant happened. And then, NOTICE their UTTER AMAZEMENT when I say "You made your choice, and with THAT you ENDED our relationship. And NOW you offer a CHOICE? THERE NEVER WAS A CHOICE FOR ME!!!! YOU CHOSE HIM OVER ME!!!! LIVE WITH IT AND DEAL WITH IT!!!!
Now, switching back to a more rational thought-mode, I will simply deal with this without any emphasis, since I believe the thrust is absolutely clear.
Anyone in a long-term relationship, whether it be marriage, live-in, or exclusive love-f-w-b should know that infidelity is unacceptable. Infidelity simply means that the straying partner is unsatisfied with the SO. If that is truly the case, then a severance of the relationship is necessary, based on its insignificance and insolvency in regard to the offending party. The offended party is hereby freed from this farce should then consider other options as his/her emotional stability will allow. The offended party should, at the very least, terminate the present relationship to preserve his/her emotional health.
A Long-Term-Relationship means quite a lot to me, probably MUCH more than it should. I consider it TANTAMOUNT to a MARRIAGE, and if the woman regards it as such, then it becomes a fact.
Long-Term MEANS "LONG-TERM". I have said this before, and I will say it again, "LTR" does NOT mean "Long-Term-Relationship". It MEANS "LIFETIME-RELATIONSHIP", a marriage, REGARDLESS if VOWS are exchanged or NOT. It is a COMMITMENT of TWO LIVES, come HELL or HIGH WATER.
Now, please answer, what sort of MARRIAGE could DARE to surpass THAT! | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:18:02 PM | I have to suggest that a statistic showing 80% of men as cheaters and not nearly as many women - is a little biased, or it suggests that these men are cheating with other men.
This statistic should be followed up with one that suggests 80% of women aren't honest in surveys. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:20:14 PM | | That could very well be, especially since society has both gay and straight people in it. And 80% of men tell tall tales too, I'm sure. ;) | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:27:20 PM | canoist...canoist...canoist...Must be nice to be so PERFECT......its men like you who give the rest a bad name.....Does it make you feel big to point out someone elses mistakes?????...Good luck finding someone...I'd run away from you... | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:27:34 PM | sweethang100,
If you are going to use stats then list your source. Otherwise, no one believes you. This whole thread is insulting to men. And you are sitting there wondering why you are being treated this way? It has also been said that when a woman accuses her husband of cheating without any real proof , most likely she is the one that is cheating. Is it true? I have no idea. But I did read it somewhere. But, if you read really old books you will read that the earth is flat.
Stop assuming things. Now, just because someone acts in a negative manner to what you said doesn't mean they are more inclined to cheat. | |
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| is there faithful or decent men out there
Posted: 3/25/2008 2:29:04 PM | | well there are some good guys out here,i would like to be consider one..i've been in the longterm relationships twice in my life.had held on til could no more..the two are not totally at fault,but to get older we need to get more stability in the living arrangement,and the party has to slow down some to keep with the jobs that require alot of time to keep the bills paid..one wanted change but would not take it seriously enough to keep a decent living..always changed the program..but it takes work on both sides to make a complete life for the whole picture..the other know is hating life in oregon,and poorer than she was here in california... | |
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