| giving up on love
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:30:51 PM | | I hate to burst your bubble but that's not necessarily true. I appear to be on 32 members favorites list and I can count on one hand the number of those favorites that have contacted me. | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/5/2008 1:31:22 PM |
It seems like women are so caught up wit looks that they wonder why they can't find a guy that treats them well.
For as long as you believe that OP you will continue to meet women who you perceive as shallow.
You might want to revisit your thoughts OP. As a woman, I know there are plenty of terrific 'average guys' and plenty of terrific 'pretty boys' and even more mediocre ones of both. Women are much more selective...a pretty face only gets you as far as hello in my experience.....:) | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:06:11 AM | | big panda 27!!! dont give up!! if you do you may never know what might have happened--hang in there! | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:18:42 AM | | Your never to young to give up on love, I'm 19, and giving up. | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:28:26 AM | | Unfortunately, there are guys are there who treat women like dirt and lie and cheat from the beginning. I personally do not search for looks but honesty and a good heart. It is sad that all the other men out there have ruined it for you. One prime example is Handyman34! LOL Good luck out there and I hope you find someone that will help you to NOT join the monestary! LOL | |
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| Where have all the old men gone, long time passing?
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:06:55 AM | Hey, I'm admitting to 59, but can't find a 'fit' bloke in my age bracket - I don't think any of us should give up, you never know what's just round that corner! Just have fun and don't worry. Well, by way of fun I don't mean just a one night stand (which quite a few [married] guys are after)! AND, just how many guys say how 'honest' they are but when you meet them, they obviously haven't been!!! Hey, it can be fun out there and lots of luck to all. | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:34:41 AM | chaotic9:
geezzz, kid....how long have you been looking? 10 minutes?
Can't give up on love....There is no 'call of the wild' for love.....it has its own way and its own time and when it comes, even if you are not looking, you will be in it for all its worth....wont be able to help yourself.
Questions are:
*Are you going to learn from it even if it doesn't work out LT?
*Keep improving yourself, for yourself, to be as interesting and desirable as you can be so when it does come, you will be the prize?
*Be a positive and productive person because that what attracts people,,, period?
If you are looking too hard, ask yourself if there is something missing in you, that makes you so earnest. ' | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/10/2008 10:30:40 AM | You my friend are insecure & it shows just by the words you wrote. Women will indeed back me up on this. That's where I was a few years back. I was more than happy to pass the blame for me being miserable onto women. Exploring other options wont change anything until you change yourself first. There is a reason you didn't meet anyone & it's not because women prefer pretty boys or are shallow. You probably already know what that answer really is. Women are not attracted to haters. The women I know would take a confident guy over a gorgeous pretty boy with nothing to offer any day. If you see yourself as an average guy, you will always be one. You control who you envision yourself to be. You become who you think you are!!! I'm sure your a great guy but you have to get rid of the anamosity built up towards others. Stay on the site & remind yourself that giving up is never the answer or an option. It's just a learning experience we all go through & a temporary setback. Your not average at all but you must first believe it yourself before others will. Try to find comfort in expanding your inner self while learning new approaches. Forget this pity post & start working towards learning your inner game & improving yourself...
Learn from the masters: David DeAngelo, Mystery, Gambler, Derek Vitalio, Etc. (look them up on google)
In history, people that are open minded, confident & passionately focused always get what they want...Period!!
Dont give up!!! I want to hear your future success story.
They will be chasing you soon enough.  | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:03:06 AM | Well OP............I see you are still here.............Did you find out that the monestary not only has monks, but now also has monkettes?????????   | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:50:50 AM | i agree,dont give up but just give it a rest on the dating site for awhile.maybe even take your profile off for a lil bit.i think most men that try these sites have the same luck as you.im frustated also!ive written every girl that i found somewhat interesting and a few write me back.the dating thing,hasnt happened yet.isnt that what this site is for and why were here?(most of us) how do you know you like someone unless you date someone a couple times-right?its not like your asking someone to marry em.
i do agree though,alot of women are very shallow today.(least where im from) they want a man who has perfect health,perfect looks,money,is loyal,honest,but will accept that the woman will give the relationship her attention on her time!lol! because if ya actually wanted to pamper a girl your with and be by them and spend your time with them,you are possessive and a nut-lol! wow, guys in the 50's were lucky!
i do know that alot of women are not like that and very good people,but the ones i bump into on here are(in my area) | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:45:39 PM | To Ugman:
I'm 5-8 & I've never had height become an issue. In fact, a few of my girlfriends have been taller. How am I able to succeed? I carry myself confidently & I don't worry about what a few select women had to say about height requirements. Let your best qualities shine through & I guarantee your height will never be an issue again. Focus your energy in a positive manner. You create your own walls. | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/10/2008 11:46:08 PM | Try giving up on rejection.
Cool pic Ugman. | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/11/2008 12:28:59 AM | Don't give up dude!
Not all women are caught up on looks. I think average guys are fine, it's more about what kind of person they are. Though, I have to disagree with you on saying they will try harder - case in point, was meeting an average but seemingly nice guy from POF for coffee. Totally stood me up. No text, no call nothing!
Everyone's in the same boat really | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/11/2008 2:12:38 AM | I am sure many women will quote you, the world is full of shallow of people and your obviously drawn to them, change your preference and read the profiles way mroe carefully and learn the difference between down to earth and genuine and shallow and conceited.
Beleive me its written between the lines in the profiles
What I hate is men who have their pitcure on their profile and then expalin verbally how good looking they are etc etc
It s in the eye of the beholder, and these men are kidding themselves, mena re the same and you jsut have to learn to see it in the profile before making contact.......
If you were more choosy you amy get better results, try less attractive women for a start.
Most of the people being rejected are approaching the wrong people and its a result of bad choices and the fact they are approaching the wrong people, nothing to do with looks
alot of men contact me, the truth is its not their looks its their profile and a number of things, ages of their children, i have grown up children they have young children, they have only just separated, its their interests, its what they say about the first date, a number of things, its never been the photo, they coudl be going on about their x or how great they think they are.
If a lot of things add up to be wrong for me, then it wont get off the ground
Their has to be something that talks to me, ME, and usually the profile doesnt talk to me.
I hate the sales pitch, some of the emails are quite off, what do you all expect.....
and I have to wonder why they contacted me in the first place, it happens so often now, i dont bother responding its up tto them to realise we have nothing in common. and nothing to start a converstaion about........
I am at a loss with with the whole thing and perhaps you men to take a look at the way you are communicating with the women and how your presenting your profiles to us.
Its like an internet sleezy nite club, more often than not | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:18:34 AM | You know, I gave up for a while. I actually spent 5 years totally single, just spending time working on myself, my career, and with really great friends. I'm not going to lie, it got to me pretty bad.
Then I found a guy who I thought was pretty cute (mind you, he's what he considers to be about 70 lbs overweight, and I'm not into skinny guys at all) and he showered me with compliments for the first couple days.
Then we got really comfortable really quick, and the compliments changed into supposedly joking insults. From there it turned into him wanting to spend time with his ex, so he wanted to "stay friends" (ie. continue sleeping with me, and her, if he chose to). Stupidly, I allowed him to put me through that hell for 6 weeks. He finally got rid of her, and we got through it, and all was what I felt was "okay" for a few months. (Shoo', anything was better than that at that point!)
His own sister told me I was an idiot (in much more harsh terms) for putting up with it and then fighting for him. I didn't even listen to her, of all people, much less family or friends! This was so not like me - I'd never been the kind to take crap from anyone, you know?
A couple weeks ago, she called again, and I left. For good. I wasn't going to put myself through that mess again. I hurt so badly - not because of HIM or because this psycho nutcase wasn't going to let him move on, but because I allowed the whole situation to even happen in the first place. I had good reason after the third date to leave, and didn't. And yes, part of me thinks that it's because I'd been single for so long, found someone I thought was attractive, a hard worker, and would've eventually made a good husband and father. I was hurt because I was wrong (no way will that man ever make a good husband!), and that I sacrificed myself to it for 5 months.
You'd think I'd have given up, right?
No way. I have dreams and goals of my own, and one of them is to be a wife and mother someday. I don't want to be known as "The Old Greyhound Lady", living in a family owned house with 100 dogs to fill the void of that dream I have.
A jerk is a jerk and a "betch" is a "betch". They're everywhere, but you have to learn to love yourself enough to get through it and out of their way. Let them find each other, while you're out finding the right person for you. Who isn't shallow, who isn't going to judge you by your bank account or the kind of car you drive, and who is willing to walk through life with you, not because of you.
I could never be the kind of person who was looking for a man to take care of me - I have too many things I like to do to take care of me. I'm looking for the man who is looking to find me so we can take care of each other in every conceivable way. He's out there somewhere, and I'm not stopping until I find him! | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/11/2008 7:56:39 PM | | Yep, I know what you mean too...I am going back to the conventional way,,Bar hopping...LOL | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 8:18:41 AM | Some here are desparate to find "the one", wouldn't it be wiser to join these websites with a different attitude and approach? I for one feel that if it is going to happen, love will find me whether thru the internet or maybe while I am spending a weekend out of town or even at the grocery store doing my weekly shopping. In the mean time, we should enjoy the encounters we have, learn from them and allow your life to be richer from the experience. We can't be hard on those who decide that you aren't someone they would want to be with; after all we are individuals and each has unique tastes and turn ons. Anyway, give up on the internet thing if you want; but never give up on the idea of love.
"Remember mama saying you can't hurry love, no you'll just have to wait. Cuz love don't come easy it's a game of give and take."
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:01:11 AM | mykytyzyn,
That is a GREAT strategy! I've been on POF for only a couple of weeks...if that. So far a couple of men have contacted me, but after I contact them back...nothing. I'm too anxious to meet them, or they really only want intimate encounters. Whatever....I have PROMISED my dating coach (yes I have one...I figure this is a LOT more difficult than football and THEY have coaches), that I wouldn't make first contact. He says it show that I'm "easy". This is difficult for me, because I'm a naturally outgoing woman. Okay, and I've broken the rules, but haven't seen good results from that either.
Don't give up. There are smart people out there who have what you want. Find them. Have them mentor you. The mere fact that you posted you want to give up has given you a bigger forum. ALSO, the universe works in mysterious ways...just when you decide to close the door...someone COULD stick their foot in it.
Kalyn | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:11:52 AM | well i had also given up on love say 20 yrs ago! then i stumbled onto this place and as luck would hve it i emailed 3 girls on here. the first to respond i've had dinner with, we spent 3 hrs talking. we talk on the phone regularly, & we are having dinner tonight . We seem to hit it off just fine, we have a lot of commonalities are close in age and all.
where will it lead? im not sure but while we got off to a rocky start, my problem not hers we seem to throughly enjoy each others company. i felt bad about informing the others i might have already discovered my gem in this life. so just a note ladies sometime it pays to be expedient, i answered them in the order i recievedthe emails. but im elated to have discovered a swell lady, about 5 miles from home that i wouldn't ever have found w/o pof. so take it from a guy that did give up, i spent over 20 yrs unhappy because i didnt have the courage to go out and get hurt again. i was the skeptic in this thing, but im sure glad i cast some bread upon the waters here it looks like it paid off to me !!!!!!!!!!!! sincerly jim | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:31:36 AM | | some of us are pretty shy and aren't the worlds best conversationalists in the beginning. we are somewhat intimidated by girls, that doesnt mean that we arent great guys. we just are a bit lacking in the social aspect where it comes to the m/f relationship it develops in time when we get into our comfort zone w/ a girl. im tickled i managed to find a great lady that seems to understand this and is patient with me. otherwise i might have well missed out on a great opportunity to find ms. right. life seems great right now im happier than ive been in yrs. we are both adventurers looking to share our lifes adventures, we seen to have developed a great repoire w/ each other at this point. regards jim | |
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Cazimi
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Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 47 | |
| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:17:11 AM | Why do some people think that love is just around the corner, when you want it , you get it.
Love is a blessing .It's not available when someone's in the mood for it, you need to work towards it ,
perhaps make sacrifices for it and be patient.
Companionship, dating, friendship is another thing.
True love is rare, it's not going to happen, when you want it and how you want it .
Just because there are thousands of people online on dating sites, does mean it's like a candy store,
you choose the flavor and get it.
You are not going to find love in a few weeks or months , it may take years, if you are lucky.
People with low self esteem are always the bitter ones,it's not comfortable to be around bitter people .
It is very hard to change yourself but is worth it in the end.
"If you would one day renovate yourself, do so from day to day".....Confucius
The internet is the most cruel place to look for love, even for the goodlooking.
Take care and good luck.
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 12:05:20 PM | | We should not give up on finding love. We should give up on finding the perfect person to love as we ourselves are not perfect. Giving up on finding the internet, now that may be a idea. | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 12:33:59 PM | i was always taught "beauty is only skin deep,but ugly goes clear to the bone!" | |
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| giving up on love
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:09:26 PM | | Congrats to sk james.....This is a tough place for most to even talk,much less find a partner that is compatable....Pat yourself on the back! You have done what alot of people are unable to do.. | |
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