| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:38:40 PM | They sure have!
Something I hear alot is that I should invite the guy over or they'll cook for me. What happened to wining & dining? Shoot, I can be at my house all by myself. I'm trying to get back out into the world for fun & entertainment. I don't require that a guy spend $200 for dinner & a play. Just getting the message that someone thinks I'm important & wants to be with me is plenty.
I remember being young & being so excited that someone wanted to take me to a "nice" place for dinner. If you have a conversation about this guys start making noises like you are a golddigger!
Maybe I'm too old-fashioned. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:41:19 PM | I think if women paid their ways on these dates the men wouldn't feel so hostle or taken advantage of. Ladies, are you just doing this for a free meal??? I mean, if he wants a second date let him pick up the tab. Of course there are the exceptions: the $150,000 Mercedes and $150 bottles of wine, etc.
Be it as it is though: love is the best drug and the sex is an art form of all the emotions. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:20:45 AM |
You know, just in my lifetime, I can`t believe how attitudes in dating, romance, and commitment have changed. ... How in the world did it change this much in 35 years? ... What do you think?
Merry, what I think is that the world has stayed the same and in 35 years you have finally gained enough experiences to see the bigger picture. Yes, despite the "rules" you were told, people the world over routinely get it on whenever and wherever they can manage. What is different in our present day is that we are privy to direct information about how people behave instead of only hearing social fables about one such thing or another that happened to some faceless person at some unspecified time. Now we can see the face and hear their account.
To you it may be shocking that certain things may happen in the world. To others it's not newsworthy at all, just the business that's been going on since the dawn of time.
A woman raised only 100 years ago might think today's women are loony to wait half their lifetimes to start families or find a mate. Love and romance have been the ideals and dreams of both men and women for ages, and every culture has stories of how the rules of society were bypassed by some couple because they thought their love was special.
Love is special for everyone! You can idealize any set of dating rules you want. What's nice is that in THIS society on THIS day, you can choose the rules by which you want to date. Choose what makes you comfortable.
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:39:59 PM | I was always the "goody-2-shoes" of the crowd in HS, then got married, divorced and a tad "wild" (well, wild by my standards anyway...) for a few years.
Then realized that sex wasn't good until they got into my mind and heart, then they could get into my bed and it was GREAT!
Few and far between, but worth the wait too.  | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:52:25 PM | I haven't noticed much change except I think women and men can now be more honest and not have to pretend life is like a 50's TV show. People have always had sex, always gotten married or joined together is some way, always gotten pregnant at inopportune times, always lied, cheated, abused, etc., just like they do today.
Do things change, sure, different things become popular or go out of style but basic human nature and the mating dance -all pretty much the same. Even the moral hypocrites remain the same, they do things, have amnesia, then rail at younger people while swearing things weren't like that in their youth!! LOL Yeah, right. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:30:16 AM | | You know, I really don't care if anyone has sex on the first date. My question is this and if you can, be honest. How many people are practicing safe sex? Men and Women over the age of 50 are one of the fastest growing groups that are contracting HIV. I am extremely concerned with contracting STDS and from my personal experience, have had some difficulty with men my age being willing to wear a condom. Since there are no products for females (I could try the female condom) that prevent HIV transmission, I must insist on protection. Plus women as they get older the vaginal walls thin and can break small blood vessels that will double your chances of contracting HIV or STDS. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:34:54 AM | Things haven't changed all that much.....but our respective places in that hierarchy sure have. 
Post 1: "I buy my own dinner or coffee on a date! That way I owe the man nothing"
Post 2: "I think that is a very sad statement. ...... I think it shows a shocking lack of confidence in the pleasure of your company."
So if the pleasure of your company is worth the price of an evening on the town.....just what is the pleasure of HIS company worth? | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:15:05 PM | ColumbiaSingle, you are so right! So many men in the over -45 age group are "in denial" about their vulnerability to STD's, and HIV.
And if they aren't concerned about their own sexual health, you know they could care less about yours.....I once chatted with a fellow (not on POF), who said that "he would rather die of AIDS than die of loneliness"!
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BUDDY....NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:19:20 PM | ^^^^^ And that motivation--as probably all forms of motivation--comes from inspiration or desperation, eh, Dr. LOL?
"...rather die of AIDS than die of loneliness..." Wow, loneliness is SERIOUSLY overrated, then. Can't think of a more protracted misery than to wither into nothingness. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 8:17:50 AM |
How in the world did it change this much in 35 years? It absolutely leaves my head spinning.
This is what Joseph Campbell talked about before he left the planet. The body begins to break down and the societal changes are so dramatically different that we feel alien to them and less reluctant to depart.
On the other hand, we baby boomers contributed much to the current mess in our heyday and now look on the landscape and perhaps have some second thoughts about some of the really stupid stuff that went on. The problem is hubris: thinking that your generation is smarter than all others and is entitled to overturn it all.
If there hadn't been so much marijuana and LSD, perhaps the changes we see today would have been more rationally conceived. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:00:20 AM | Not all women are out for what they can get. (Dinner, marriage, what-have-you)
No problem here going dutch and first date? third date? Who made up these rules anyway? Sex happens when I know I want to spend more time with him .. when I'm intending to see only him while we explore the possibility of a long-term relationship. Either we like each other enough and have enough in common to be more than casually interested or we don't. I would not date, nor would I continue to date a man who was having sex with me and continuing to see others. If we're going to be just friends, it's not going to be a with benefits thing.
From a woman's point of view, there is always the man in the mix who we're truly attracted to .. only he turns out to be player who at our age knows well all the right lines to use. Seems to be more and more of those around with the advent of internet introductions. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:27:13 AM | Any profile or man that mentions sex on the first meeting, or in his profile is deleted by me. Wow. You have the power to delete MY profile as well as delete ME? Then please do, for I am offended that I offend Thee. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:36:47 AM |
What about a partnership? What about sharing a wealth of dreams and pleasures with an individual who brings out the best in you and visa versa? Way overrated. A fairy tale marketed by pathological optimists so you'll buy their overpriced doymind rings. What bullshit is "bring out the best in you?" In this psychosis known as western civilization, there is no equal partnership. If I want to exhibit my best, I do it on my own for my own benefit; it doesn't need to be coaxed and wheedled out of me. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:02:13 PM | The one thing I can say with absolute certainty is ......
Anything is acceptable these days.
Just look at the kids that people raise and ask yourself 'Where did they get all these ideas from as to what is acceptable?'
It 21st century and all bets are off. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:07:54 PM | | shadenfreudian does have a point. It is the Cinderalla story that we never get to experience that leads to huge disappointments in our relationships. All those movies, books and tv programs of functional fun couples who have fab houses, no real problems and happy, happy, happy. At this point in my life, I want someone who will treat me as nice as any friend of mine would with the added bonus of intimacy. The rest I can do on my own. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:18:25 PM |
If I want to exhibit my best, I do it on my own for my own benefit; it doesn't need to be coaxed and wheedled out of me.
This is all very fine except it ignores synergistic factors, and I for one have seen many partnerships( not just romantic relationships, but business partners, team mates, even human/companion animal) that were CLEARLY larger than the sum of its parts.
I completely understand your choice to eschew marriage/committed relationships, but I felt obligated to point out that 2 beings with a shared goal,CAN bring out MORE than the best in each other.
Cindy O | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:31:02 PM | | ^^^^ And I understand the possibility, albeit quite implausible, that oil executives CAN lower the price of oil driven by a sense of community/altruism...of "partnership" with synergistic elements of business and social sectors of the local, national and international economy. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:52:05 PM | I agree, Cindy, I've experienced that loving someone and being loved can bring out the best in me. And I think it brought out the best in the other person, too.
When Wayne had his stroke, the nurse wanted me to help her lift him by holding a side of his bedsheet and, although he supposedly couldn't talk, he struggled to yell "No, your back." and I realized that he was worried about ME hurting my back lifting him like that......... I think when two people REALLY and truly care about each other, they do bring out the best loving part of each other.........
But to get back to the topic of how things have changed in the dating world, to me, it has changed. Yes, things were going on behind closed doors years ago but not as much as it is now. Now a young girl in high school is pressured that something is wrong with her if she says no or wants to wait ......... When I was young, society gave us the support and encouragement to say no and wait...........
Heck, I'm in my 50's and in a lot of these forums, guys act like I'm some kind of nut if I don't want to jump into bed at the first meeting..............I can handle that and laugh because I know there's more to love then just sex...........but could I have handled it at 15? I don't think so.......... I cringed when I read that middle school girls were being given the pill by their schools............WHAT?
I think our society is depriving people of the joy and pleasures of getting to know someone, experiencing what it is like to have feelings build as you get to know someone, to base attraction on more then just the physical but to have attraction that is based on truly making love not just sex.
I watched the premiere of Swingtown last night...........things have definately changed!! | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/6/2008 5:14:38 PM | Yes, things have sure changed.
When I was twenty, girls NEVER wanted to have sex and only did it to make the boys happy.
Now, seems to me girls ALWAYS want to have sex all the time, and do it to make themselves happy ....very heathy!
Oh yes, guys still pay for the dates....no change here.
There is still nothing that turns a woman of as fast as a cheapskate.
Better to dress well, go to the park, have a burger and a coke, and pay, instead of a date with fancy dining and the movies and then asking her to split the costs. Oh yes, after you've been having great sex this arrangement will work just fine, but don't do it before... you won't "show" well. And if its the 2nd, 3rd or 4th date you will simply loose your earlier investment. ...yes...its still the kiss of death! Act like money is never an issue, you are just frugal, that's why you're rich. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:27:04 AM | Uncle Enrico (Msg. #187) you are so right on.....I was never a "druggie" in my "heydey" (I figured I had enough challenges to overcome being both black and female, and would need ALL MY WITS ABOUT ME!) And I thought my grandparents, grandfather, especially, was a very WISE MAN, having overcome the challenges of the segregated south, so I hung on to every word he uttered, looking for wisdom. No generation gap, there.....
But I have a few "formerly ultra liberal" friends who are turning 60 years old this year who are bemoaning "life as we know it in 2008", and I always point out to them that they started this shit, but we all have to live with the consequences... | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:21:58 AM | | I was brought up during the 60's and 70's and they may have been having wild sex in California, but where I come from, (San Angelo, Tx) things stayed pretty much the same and a whore was a whore. Nice girls didn't do it unless they had gone steady for a long time and were probably engaged. I had many boyfriends in my teens but never had to have sex with them to keep them. Heavy petting yes, but they never pressured me into going all the way. I think it was because they respected me. At a party once, I overheard a boy tell all the other guys that he had finally gotten in his long-time girlfriend's pants so anybody could now. People want what they cannot have. They may have sex with the high school whore, but it is the nice untouchable girl they want. It is the chase that is exciting. I would never have sex with anyone until I knew them, and you cannot know someone after meeting them three times. Unprotected sex with a stranger could end up being a death sentence. And all of us here on the internet are strangers. | |
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| Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:09:37 PM | | I am very old-fashion in the area of sex. I like engage in it with one partner, get very familar with each other's territories and enjoy the living heck out of each other. Sleeping around does not feel as good. I had my wild days in the sun, now I know what I want and would rather feel good about who I am with, and see that lover beside me the next morning. | |
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